


I'm Sorry Darlin'

by superior_olive



Series: A Rotary Heart [1]
Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Probably ooc, Violence, and maybe a little spicy it is rated mature kids, dad gabe is best gabe, homophobic/racist language, lik ea lot, mentions of abuse, sorry - Freeform, tho there will be angst, young mchanzo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-26
Updated: 2018-01-03
Packaged: 2018-09-12 07:34:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 21
Words: 110,756
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9062599
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/superior_olive/pseuds/superior_olive
Summary: Four months. It had only been four months since Hanzo had been on the run with his brother Genji. It hadn’t been easy getting this far from Hanamura, but to free himself from a lifestyle that Genji never wanted was enough motivation wise.He watched the rowdy teen from the sleeping bag he was on, combing his hair roughly with his fingers.“Ugh, I didn’t think my roots would grow back this fast,” Genji complained, peering into a small mirror at his green hair. He paced around the empty shed, rusty tools and lawn equipment piled in a corner.This was life now, hiding in abandoned buildings, stealing what they needed and taking what work they could while maintaining a low profile. Always on the move, he knew it stressed Genji out but it kept them safe. It wasn’t an honorable way to live, but it was working method /to live/. They stowed away on boats, trains, and planes, just anything they could to put distance between themselves and their past.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> My first attempt at a mchanzo fic, so bear with me. Prepare for runaway Shimadas and Blackwatch McCree

Four months. It had only been four months since Hanzo had been on the run with his brother Genji. It hadn’t been easy getting this far from Hanamura, but to free himself from a lifestyle that Genji never wanted was enough motivation wise. 

He watched the rowdy teen from the sleeping bag he was on, combing his hair roughly with his fingers.

“Ugh, I didn’t think my roots would grow back this fast,” Genji complained, peering into a small mirror at his green hair. He paced around the empty shed, rusty tools and lawn equipment piled in a corner. 

This was life now, hiding in abandoned buildings, stealing what they needed and taking what work they could while maintaining a low profile. Always on the move, he knew it stressed Genji out but it kept them safe. It wasn’t an honorable way to live, but it was working method  _ to live _ . They stowed away on boats, trains, and planes, just anything they could to put distance between themselves and their past.

Genji stopped his fusing with his hair to look at his brother. “Your hair has gotten longer too,” he pointed out setting the dusty mirror away. “The next place we go, I want to at least get a haircut.”Hanzo gave him a scoff, as he rolled up the sleeping bag and gathered the rest of his things. Genji gave him an exasperated sigh. “Already?”

“The train leaves tonight.”

“We’ve only been here a week!” Genji protested, dropping his backpack and folding his arms in front of Hanzo. He had bags under his eyes, dark bruisings that looked worse against his skin in the pale moonlight. He wasn’t the only one sleeping poorly, Hanzo not looking much better. But Genji’s big brown eyes had a way of always getting what they wanted, a tactic that Hanzo swore younger siblings always mastered.

“We need to keep moving,” Hanzo tried to reason with him only to have puppy eyes stare him down in return. He hated when he did that. “I promise we’ll stay at the next place longer.” He wasn’t sure if that was a lie or not at this point, but it was good enough. Genji picked up his pack with a smirk across his dirty face, taking it as a victory. 

“Let’s go somewhere warm at least, and let’s go to a spa! It’s been forever since I’ve had a proper bath.” Genji grimaced after swiping a finger across his chin, rubbing at the grit.

Hanzo chuckled. “I agree, you do smell.”

Genji shoved his brother lightly, although laughing. “Well, I guess we need to catch a train before my stench kills you.”

It was night, as they usually traveled by night. The train was still as they watched figures in the distance working on adding whatever cargo they were transporting. It wasn’t particularly hard to find a cart they could both fit in, they weren’t large and the train had a long chain of charts. They sat shoulder to shoulder pushed to the wall looking at large metal bins filled with scrap metal. Genji shivered, Hanzo recognizing the night’s breeze was more frigid than usual. He reached into his bag, pulling out an obnoxious orange hoodie that he had found on a clothesline earlier that day. He hated the color, but he knew Genji would love it, which was confirmed by the brightening of his eyes. 

“Anija?! You shouldn’t have!” Genji rustled around the small room they had to put it on, though it was a size too big he seemed pleased. 

“I saw it and thought of you,” Hanzo replied. “It is getting closer to winter, I don’t want you getting sick.” He closed his eyes and leaned his head against the metal wall. “This counts as your Christmas present, I hope you know.” He heard a small “Wha?” and only assumed it was followed by Genji sticking his tongue out. 

After a moment of silence, Genji wrapped an arm around him in a brief hug. “I’ll get you something nice in the next place we end up in,” he scoffed. “For Christmas.”

Hanzo chuckled, still feigning sleep hoping Genji would follow in suit. After a few minutes, he rested his head on Hanzo’s shoulder snoring softly. He felt a wave of relief knowing he was at least getting some rest, he was even more of a nuisance when he was tired when they went train hopping. Genji being in a good mood would make their arrival go smoother in all accounts. 

Hanzo hated this part, the waiting. He didn’t mind the cramped spaces, or the cold restless nights, or even the hard floor that would leave him with sores. It was how Genji hated it all, how the seventeen year old had always wanted more from life and hated feeling caged. 

That’s why he had taken him away in the first place, why Hanzo had made the most dire and dramatic choice of his life. They were the heirs to the Shimada clan, a well known crime syndicate in Japan, and with Hanzo being the elder he was to own and rule it all one day. Perhaps apathy was his sin, as he had been more than content to let those events unfold. Hanzo didn’t see himself as a bad man, but he was expected to do those things, and he was always a man who met his parents expectations. Genji, however, was the opposite; rebellious and free-spirited he was frivolous and unruly and routinely brought dishonor to their family name time after time. But Hanzo loved him, he was his little brother, and the only person he would do anything for unconditionally in this world. Hence why they were here, somewhere in the western part of America on a train going south. They knew no one, had no friends or family to help them, only each other and their training had kept them alive to this point. It was hard, and he hated that Genji had to go through it, but Hanzo didn’t regret it. He would protect him, that was all that mattered. Honor be damned, he had stolen and lied and would do so again and again as long as it kept them fed. Hanzo had no doubt that their parents had sent people to find them, to bring them back, and to punish them. They have had only a few encounters with bounty hunters back when they were in Canada, and escaped with little more than scrapes and bruises. They were fortunate but Hanzo never liked to rely on luck. He would make sure they would be more careful.

He sighed as he felt the train start to move, the low rumble of the wheels against the track was strangely comforting. It was the sound that they were moving, moving farther and farther away from Hanamura, from their parents, from their legacy. Hanzo never felt  _ ashamed _ of being a Shimada, he just didn’t know how he should feel about it these days. He was only twenty, a young man who didn’t know much of the world outside Japan and now he was wandering North America with his insurgent teenage brother. These last four months had been hell, and Hanzo had a feeling it was only going to get worse. 

He buried his face into his knees, his breath visible in the dark cart. Winter had just started to take hold, and it was getting colder by the day. Going south was the smart move, it’d at least be more mild and they could live somewhere without power. Maybe they could find an abandoned building of a kind, and settle for a bit for once. 

Hanzo tried to will himself to sleep listening to the train and steady breaths of his brother. Wherever they ended up, he knew he would need his strength. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if you live in Goodwell, I'm from Oklahoma but I honestly just chose a random town so don't take any of it as accurate.

That had hurt, that had  _ really fucking hurt.  _ McCree’s ears were ringing with the world starting to be out of focus, but he was still able to run down the alleyway to car waiting. 

“Hurry the fuck up!” He heard the harsh voice of his commander echo at him, everything seemed to kind of echo at the moment. Gunfire and other voices roared around him, as he slammed the door open. The world always seemed to go in slow motion when he thought he might die, or maybe he wasn’t getting enough oxygen in that head of his. A bullet blasted by, knocking his stetson into the back seat of the vehicle.

“The fuck up has arrived,” Jesse smirked as he nearly fell into the back seat as Reyes hit the gas. They were here to do a simple extraction of information but things were never truly simple when McCree got involved. The warehouse was supposedly empty, but as luck would have it they were in the middle of shipment when McCree had arrived. Things went to shit, but he made it a sure thing that the job would be finished, that was his policy. 

After a few tense minutes of driving with Jesse unscrambling his brain, Reyes spoke. “That was stupid, cabrón, real fucking stupid. You almost got your head blown off.” He kept his dark eyes to the road, but Jesse could see the man frown deeply. 

“But I didn’t,” Jesse could never help but smart off. “I’m actually quite intact if I say so myself.” He picked up his hat, placing back on his head. Gabriel was quiet for a moment which made Jesse a tad nervous.

“Maybe not this time,” he said gravely. “Maybe not next time, but if you keep pushing your luck it’ll run out. I don’t know what the fuck they taught you in Deadlock but this is  _ Blackwatch. _ If you thought gang life was dangerous, you don’t know shit yet.” He sighed. “Damn kid,” he grumbled.

McCree sat up, adjusting the bandana around his neck. He handed over the thumb drive to Reyes, who pocketed it. “Sorry Boss.” He meant it, he knew he could be an ass and a handful at times but he was grateful that Gabriel had taken him in when he did. Blackwatch had killed any other Deadlock members on route 66, but with some stroke of luck he was offered another chance, another go at it all. He planned to capitalize on that deal. 

“Don’t be sorry, just keep your damn head on.” 

McCree stayed silent accepting that as a display of concern, and just looked out the window as they drove off. He had been raised in New Mexico, traveled all around the States and for some god forsaken reason Blackwatch was stationed in the middle-of-nowhere Oklahoma for the time being. The goddamned panhandle, to top it all off. There wasn’t a lot to see, just fields and fields of tall grass and lots of cows. His head perked up watching the train roll across the tracks, the loud whistle announcing it’s arrival. He tilted his hat down and dozed off waking up from the bumpy cracked road in town. 

Goodwell, a place where a lot of nothing was happening. With such a small town McCree wondered how Reyes kept Blackwatch hidden around here. Maybe they paid people off, maybe the people were just stupid. He figured they just kept their noses to themselves, Reyes had a way with people that made them not want to ask questions. Sometimes the way they dealt with things, he wondered if he really was in a situation different than Deadlock. 

Jesse kicked the back of Gabe’s seat. “Stop the car will ya? I think I’d like to walk around for a while.” 

“Don’t kick my leather seats dumbass.” The vehicle halted, Reyes seemed more than content with dropping him off. It wasn’t like McCree didn’t know where they were staying, again Goodwell was a real small town. He hopped out of the car. 

Before he could shut the door Reyes interrupted him. “Wait.” Jesse looked up to see what looked like a ghost of smile on his face.“Good job out there cabrón. Don’t let it get to your head.” McCree shut the door with another smug grin, before the car drove off. Some parts of Blackwatch still were vastly different from gang life, Reyes being the top of that list. He cared about his people more than anyone ever did in Deadlock. McCree owed him his life, but he never held it against him as leverage. Jesse respected that. 

It was fairly late now, the cold of a winter night nipping through his shirt straight to his bones. He lit a cigarette making his way down the street, most people already safely tucked away at home. It was odd to think that these people had such simple lives: go to work, go to school, come home, kiss your wife and go eat dinner. No, ‘almost being shot in the face’ or ‘almost having their arm torn off’, just having a good normal life. It twisted a knot in his gut, he was envious to a point. He knew  their lives were boring, but damn maybe he needed a little more boring in his life. He was only nineteen, McCree by all means was a lively smug son of bitch who loved poking his nose into trouble. But he had also seen more of his fair share of violence and death, probably more than most his age. It got tiresome sometimes, but he knew he was drawn to this lifestyle. Danger and money had it’s appeal, but it felt like he was stuck on fast forward, god he just wanted things to slow down for a bit.

He leaned against the alleyway wall smoking, really trying to slow the events of today down. He had gotten the files, that was what mattered when it came down to it but damn he danced with death a little too closely. He shivered a bit, wishing he had brought a coat for the day but the cold was nice in it’s own way. It made him  _ feel _ , goosebumps formed on his neck and forearms and the taste of smoke was potent in his mouth. He was alive, despite it all, he was alive. With the stunts he pulled throughout his life, that was more than enough to call it a good day. 

He wasn’t sure how long he had been standing there, with the moon full and sky speckled with stars. It was a beautiful night, one that would probably be better shared with someone pretty but he was alone. He liked to muse he’d meet someone, but the chances of anyone of interest in a small Oklahoma town were next to none. A guy could dream. 

Jesse figured he should start to head back to hq, or else Reyes might think he went AWOL or hell even worry. He had been with Blackwatch for only a few months now,  and he needed to earn his place with the senior members. He was by far the youngest person they had on the roll, but he didn’t want to be a liability. Jesse was a good shot, and liked to think that his wit and charm helped convince Reyes to take him in, in the first place. He threw the bud on the ground and stepped on it with his boot before making his way back to the road. 

He stopped feeling a bit nauseous, not quite sure if his head was still dizzy from the blow he received earlier. Jesse squinted his eyes, in a streetlight stood a person he hadn’t seen before, which was odd since he knew everyone’s face in this part of Goodwell. The figure had broad shoulders where a dark blue hoodie hug his body closely, and wore dark jeans that ripped at the knees. His skin appeared flawless, almost glowing silver in the pale lighting which was complemented by his long black hair that was tied back. Jesse didn’t notice he was staring until he met eyes with the stranger. They were dark brown, and seemed soft around the edges that Jesse thought he could stare into them forever. He snapped back into reality when the stranger spoke.

“Can I get some directions?” He spoke with a heavy accent, McCree didn’t know where. He obviously was a new face, but a foreigner from another country? This was interesting. 

“Depends what you’re looking for,” Jesse grinned folding his arms across his chest. “Don’t reckon you’re from around here.”

“What a keen observation.” The stranger rolled his eyes, but approached him, his feet hardly making any noise against the cement. “Can you tell me where I am?”   

“Well honey hate to break it to ya but you’re in the middle of No Man's Land,” McCree continued as he was met with a confused expression. “Goodwell, Oklahoma, y’know in the panhandle?” 

“Oh,” the other man didn’t look any older than Jesse himself. His nose wrinkled as it appeared he was thinking hard.. 

“Jesse McCree,” he tipped his stetson, “And what should I call you?”

“Not ‘honey’,” the stranger quipped, his hands going into his pockets. “Hmm,” a switch went off in his head as his eyes lit up. “Why don’t you guess?” 

“I’m ‘fraid I wouldn’t have a clue where to start.” Jesse chuckled to himself. “Don’t suppose you’re a John? A David?” 

“I’m afraid not,” the stranger replied cooly. He maintained eye contact, something that would’ve told Jesse to not trust this man, but hell. What damage could this lost guy do? Jesse had good height on him, and knew the town. This man didn’t even have a clue where he was. The stranger wrinkled his nose again. “Can you show me around Goodwell?”

Oh, now he was wanting a tour. Even more interesting. McCree smiled, “Sure thing, sweetheart though there’s not a lot to see. How’d someone like you even end up here all by yourself?” 

The stranger returned the smile. “I took the train.” He pointed down the alley McCree had been in earlier. “What’s down there?” 

McCree turned his head, “Well nothing really it’s just --,” and before Jesse could react he was on the ground again, ears ringing.  _ Fuck.  _ The pain in the back of his head took a moment to register, the world still blurry as he felt hands blindly run through his pockets. He raised his chin, seeing the man in front of him. He looked dirty up close, his dark brows knitted together highlighting his sharp cheekbones. 

“Gomen ne, but I’m not your sweetheart.” Jesse noticed he showed his teeth when he smiled, almost like he was baring them. With that the stranger ran down the street, the light patter of feet growing quiet.

Jesse quickly was on his feet again, gathering his bearings on the situation. His wallet and cigs were gone, along with a big piece of his pride but otherwise everything seemed fine. He groaned exhausted with himself for always underestimating people, when he reached for his stetson only to grab his own hair. Shit.

“Sorry Reyes,” he mumbled to himself as he dusted his jeans off. It would be a late night, but it’d be a cold day in hell before McCree would let his hat be stolen. A man had to draw a line for himself, and this was his. He cleared his mind with a deep breath. Time to track down Mr. I’m not your sweetheart. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, I'll try to update a lot these next two weeks before college comes back. I'll also add tags/change the rating as things come along bc I don't know either guys.


	3. Chapter 3

Hanzo rifled through the wallet sitting in a warehouse, pocketing a five dollar bill. There was an ID of a kind, turned out the man was telling the truth as the card had his picture with Jesse McCree labeled underneath. He scoffed at the lack of any credit card, turned out the man was about as broke as he was. He looked at a cigarette, the source of a disgusting and unhealthy habit, though at this point he really wish he took the lighter too. After the past few months, he could use a smoke. 

“Whatcha got there, anija?” Genji popped around the corner still clad in that orange hoodie. He was pleased that he liked the thing.  

“Nothing important,” Hanzo stated, pocketing the box before turning to his brother. “So is it empty?” He wanted to change the subject before Genji could start on a string of questions, plus it was important if this warehouse was actually abandoned or not. The cowboy caricature had not lied, Goodwell was small. Hanzo had wanted to leave the moment they stepped off the train, they would stick out way too much here. One could get lost in crowds, large numbers equaled anonymity, but Genji had nearly chewed his ear off about staying put for at least for a month. 

“Looks dusty and empty,” his brother sat down on a crate that creaked from his weight. “And every box is empty or filled with trash. I’d say this is about as abandoned as things get.”

“Good,” Hanzo walked over to his things and unrolled his sleeping bag. “We can stay here for now, then. Until we can find something better.”

“For like a month right?” Genji raised an eyebrow. He knew he was testing him, Genji was always one to push boundaries. It was one of his qualities that Hanzo simultaneously loved and hated about him.

“Yeah something like that,” he fell over on the sleeping bag with a plop. It was dark, almost black except for the moonlight coming through the windows. It was safe to assume it was approaching midnight. Another place they would stay with no power, just lovely. “I think I’m going to catch some sleep.” He looked at the odd hat he had taken from Jesse. It was an accident, he obviously didn’t want the thing, it was tacky like someone from an old western American film would wear. It smelled like smoke, and he could fit his finger in what looked like a bullet hole in it. What type of trouble did that cowboy get into?

His train of thought was interrupted by Genji clearing his throat. “Hanzo,” he was hovering over him. “What’s with the cowboy hat?”

Hanzo let out a scoff, feeling the tips of his ears burn. He sat up, “I may have ran into a cowboy before spotting the warehouse.”

He knew telling him that he robbed him wouldn’t be a good idea, Genji despised that they had to steal to survive which left that burden on Hanzo mainly. Still, it was a different type of mistake as he watched his brother’s eyes light up. “So you met like a real cowboy?! Wow, I thought we’d have to go to Texas to find that.” Hanzo groaned sprawling his arms as Genji continued. “How’d you convince him to give you his hat? Does he owe you a debt? Did you save his life or something?” He sat down next to Hanzo shoving him. “Anija!! Answer me!”

“I need to return it,” Hanzo sighed. “It is not mine to keep.” He looked up at Genji’s confused expression. “He...dropped it.”

“Oh,” Genji stood up holding the hat in wonder. “Then we should go find him don’t you think? Return it and earn a cowboy’s favor!!” 

“No!” Hanzo shot up, snatching the hat away from him. “I will return it alone.”

Genji grinned “Why? Don’t tell me brother that you are in love with him!!” He pointed at Hanzo dramatically, looking smug as a cat.

“For the love of God,” Hanzo palmed his forehead. He hated that he could feel his face flush. Hanzo tried to rationalize it was out of shame of the robbery. McCree had been handsome, his accent foreign and smooth drawl wonderfully low and slow. His eyes were dark and mischievous, he had a dangerous visage. Robbing him had really been just a spur of the moment decision, and already it was starting to nip him in the back. He really did need to return the hat, he was sure that even pawn shops wouldn’t pay anything for something so worn. It probably held sentimental value of some kind, the kind that would mean that the man with dangerous eyes might come looking for him. Thanks to the training they received since birth he was sure that they could take care of themselves, but it was never a good idea to piss off Americans. They all had guns, especially further south.

Genji was still grinning. “It’s like all of those American romance films! Haha this is great.” His teasing was relentless. “You’ll end up getting married and have like three pet cows. Make sure to name one after me!”

“Pet cows? I don’t think that’s what they mean by cowboy, brother.” Hanzo gave his forehead a flick. “Now to go to sleep, I’ll be back before morning.”

He was met with a series of ‘awws’. “But what if I miss the wedding?!” He didn’t seem to concerned as he rolled out his own sleeping bag. 

“I don’t know, you’ll just learn to cope,” Hanzo threw his pillow at Genji who let it just hit him in the face, acting like it hurt. “Foolish boy.”

“Says the one off to find a cowboy in the middle of the night because of a hat.” Genji yawned.

Hanzo just grumbled something incoherent. “Good night Genji,” he called as he closed the warehouse door. There was a faint, “Don’t get married tonight” from inside that caused him to shake his head. Genji always like to tease too much.

It was deep into the night, with a chill that bit at his face. His gaze went down to the hat, not quite sure where to start. For five dollars he ruined his chances of actually getting a tour in the small town, but perhaps the return of it would be worth something. Hopefully that man was more forgiving than Hanzo. 

The sky was clear, something he always appreciated about being away from cities. The moon was full, along with a vast number of stars that adorned the blackness of night. He walked down the road with his hood up until the streetlights came into view, it was a long shot but maybe the cowboy returned to the scene of the crime. He did anyways. As expected, the roads were empty, the gravel of the street was course with distinguishing rire marks ran through. Everything about this place seemed unbecoming compared to the world, which was thriving with new technology and advancements. Oddly enough he found it charming, a little old fashioned but not bad. Not bad at all.

His gaze fell back to that damned hat. He regretted that he had taken it, and scolded himself since it was a bad idea anyways. With such a small town any petty thievery would be breaking news, he needed to be more discreet not knocking people down near alleyways at night. Hanzo tried to shake it off but his mind kept wandering back to those dangerous eyes. The lighting had made them appear almost black, but they had twinkled with anticipation and intelligence, yet didn’t make him feel uncomfortable. If anything he had found it enticing, whoever McCree was he was sure he wasn’t a simple cowboy of Goodwell, he was here for different reasons. That should make him wary enough as things were but Hanzo still found himself looking around for any trace of the man. He wanted to see him again.

Hanzo was taken off guard when he was tackled to the ground, his arms pinned with the heavy weight of McCree on his torso.  _ Be careful for what you wish for. _ “There the fuck you are,” his voice was rough and slightly out of breath. He had been looking for him as well. “Now Mr.-not-your-sweetheart, where is my stetson?”

Hanzo should do a variety of things, get the man off him, reply, or just look at the damn hat that was lying to the side. However he couldn’t help but smell the smoke and spice on him, or notice how he needed to shave but the scruff actually did compliment his face. His hair was a messy brown, if he had a free hand he would be tempted to try to push a lock covering one of his eyes back. Dark and dangerous, Hanzo bit his lip feeling his ear tips burn. McCree’s arms were strong, Hanzo didn’t doubt he could free himself from the grapple but still the cowboy was stronger than he had expected. He was able to motion with his head to the side towards the hat after just staring at him for a bit. 

“Oh I’m not taking my eyes off you,” he growled, which only worsened Hanzo’s blush. “Last time I did that you near knocked my block off.” He leaned in, close enough for Hanzo to notice that he had freckles. “I’m gonna let go of you here in a sec, but think real careful before trying to pull any of that ninja shit alright?”

Hanzo scoffed at that remark, though McCree didn’t understand the humor in it. “Very well.”

McCree paused for a moment, and Hanzo swore he saw a reddening on his cheeks although it could have been wishful thinking. The American quickly got off him, adjusting his red bandana around his neck before picking up his hat. He turned around and huffed. “Alright now my wallet and cigs.” He held out his hand, the other buried in his pocket. He almost appeared bashful.

Hanzo stood up and dusted himself off. He looked at other’s man hand, a worn leather glove. He wondered what type of work he did, especially when he eyed the gun holster strapped to his belt. 

“Well?” McCree gestured with his open hand again. “What gives, I caught you fair and square now pony back what’s mine.” Hanzo snorted, handing back the wallet and cigarettes. McCree cleared his throat, and his neck start to redden to shade of his bandana. 

“I apologize,” Hanzo swept a lock of hair behind his ear. “I am not familiar with such terminology, it’s...funny.”

“Funny huh? What’s funny is how you can rob a fella and then act like nothing happened. And is that really what you’re apologizing for?” 

“I did apologize for hitting you,” Hanzo held his chin in thought. “Gomen ne means as much.”

“Well I guess you learn something everyday,” McCree ran a hand through his hair. “You normally rob folks or am I some sort of exception?”

Hanzo held his breath. “Wouldn’t you like to know.” His gaze dropped to the ground. “So are you going to alert the police of my crime or let me go?”

“Hell,” McCree rubbed the back of his neck. “I suppose calling the cops would be the proper thing to do, but lucky for you I ain’t a proper type of guy.” He gave a wink, which should not have actually gotten him to blush slightly. Hanzo had to admit, the cowboy had a roguish charm, but he was fairly certain he was the type to try to smooth talk anything with a pulse. 

“Lucky me,” Hanzo shoved his hands into the pockets of his hoodie. “I was actually meaning to give you that tacky hat back, but I guess you just wanted to pounce on me.” He smiled, seeing McCree stiffen. “But what now? I don’t want to have to hit you and run off again.”

“Yeah, well you got me once and I got you once so I’d say we’re even on that.” He had regained his composure, leaning closer to Hanzo. “But I’d say since I’m short five bucks you owe me at least a name. Mr-not-your-sweetheart is kinda long.” 

“I don’t know, it has a certain appeal to it,” Hanzo looked down, embarrassed that he had noted the missing cash. He was hoping he wouldn’t notice until much later, when Hanzo was already back in the warehouse.“I’ll tell you my name, if you will still take me on that tour. I don’t know if you’ve figured it out, but I’m new to this place.”

McCree’s laugh was loud and low. Hanzo really liked that. “Well fine, we’ll play it your way. I’ll pick you up tomorrow, round noon.”

“And how will you know where to find me?” Hanzo raised an eyebrow.

“I reckon you’re in the old warehouse since you’re robbing vagrants like me. Can’t afford a hotel room by the looks of it.” He shrugged his shoulders. “Not a lot of places for squatters in Goodwell.” 

He was full of surprises, and Hanzo wasn’t sure if that was a good or bad thing at this point. It was however alluring. “Hanzo,” he stated after a pause. “My name is Hanzo.”

“Han-zo,” he said his name slowly, his voice like honey sporting a grin. “It suits you, sure as hell beats Henry.” He walked past him, a little hop in his step. “Catch you later Hanzo.”

“ Til then McCree.” He watched him walk down the gravel road, disappearing into the darkness. Hanzo’s chest felt tight, he chastised himself for giving him his actual name. At least he didn’t tell him his surname and it was highly unlikely some random cowboy was a bounty hunter. His mind went back to his eyes, dark but bright at the same time, and Hanzo couldn’t help but admire the wrinkles around his eyes when he smiled. He was way too handsome for someone that rugged. 

He started his way back to the warehouse where he found Genji fast asleep. He’d tell him what happened in the morning, finding that he barely had enough energy to even get into the sleeping bag. It was a cold night, but for the first time in a while Hanzo fell asleep smiling. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry the next uploads probably won't be daily since I edit this all myself, but hey! Thanks for sticking around, I'll do a lot of updating this weekend~~


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter is a monster, and probably the rest of them will be this long as well. So updates will be closer to once in a few days to once a week, but it's still going! Thanks for all the support so far!

McCree for once in his life woke up on time, seven a.m. sharp much to Reyes and his own surprise. He was beaming at breakfast, a twinkle in his eye as he chugged down his third cup of coffee. 

“What’s got you so chipper?” Reyes grumbled. The man was not a morning person, if anything he was a night owl. Typically Jesse was the same way, but today was an exception. 

“Oh nothing,” Jesse took a long sip of coffee. “Can’t a guy smile? It’s a beautiful day.” 

Gabriel stared at him blankly for a moment before going back to messing with his tablet. McCree picked up an apple to take a large bite, not even Commander Reyes could dampen his mood this morning. It was an odd thing, to be excited to spend the day with someone who had just mugged him the day before, but it wasn’t everyday someone interesting rolled up in Goodwell. Especially if that someone was as handsome as hell. 

It was a bad idea on all accounts, maybe even one of his worst. Some foreigner who obviously knew how to fight shows up in this remote town where Blackwatch just happens to be at, no way it was all a coincidence. McCree may act it, but he wasn’t a total dumbass. He knew when things lined up way too well. But damn, it had been a while since McCree had been on a date and this was fairly close to one. If Hanzo was an evil spy sent to kill him, he might as well have at least go to town once with the guy. 

He sat by the window with a thud, their base was about three miles from the outskirts of town. The windmills could be seen in the distance turning lazily against the sunrise. He wondered if Hanzo was already awake. It was juvenile, but it was either thinking about him or that Reyes had put him on ‘guard duty’ for the next few weeks due to the close call nature of the last mission. He really did like Reyes, but damn the commander could be prickly as a cactus. Anyways it was infinitely more pleasurable to think about Hanzo: Hanzo who had sharp high cheekbones with eyes like dark chocolate. Hanzo who had a husky voice and long pretty hair that had a blue sheen. He sighed, watching the sky slowly light up, a mixture of pinks and oranges. Maybe he was reading way too into it, but last night it did sound like Hanzo was flirting right? Besides the elbow to the head, and McCree tackling him to the ground like they were playing football, some decent chatting had snuck it’s way in. He groaned, really hoping that the tour went well although he didn’t actually know what to do with that. It wasn’t like he was a Goodwell native, and he sure as hell didn’t know any Oklahoma trivia. There was always the comfort that Hanzo wouldn’t know if he was lying or not, he was at least smooth in that department.

Waking up early McCree had plenty of time to finish all of the chores that Reyes had him do. Gun maintenance, target practice, and then just guarding the entrance for a few hours Jesse was done by noon with the uneventful day. Well noonish, but surely Hanzo didn’t have other plans and wouldn’t mind if he was a little late. Jesse changed his work shirt to a red plaid button up with a white wife beater underneath. He grinned into the mirror, running a hand through his hair trying to take out any tangles. Jesse knew he was handsome in the American southern charm kind of way. Sure he was kind of ragged and rough around the edges, but some would argue that just added to his appeal. He hoped that was Hanzo’s type at the very least. 

He rode off in his old pickup truck, a good hunk of metal that he couldn’t remember where he had picked up but also couldn’t remember when he didn’t have it. Most likely it was stolen back in his gang days, his past was almost a blur of bad thing after bad thing until Blackwatch. The ancient thing roared loudly as he made his way down the gravel streets. It desparately needed a paint job and the AC didn’t work, but the piece of shit was actually fairly reliable, it hadn’t broken down on him yet. Anyways, they could just walk around town the truck was more or less just getting to the warehouse without sweating through his clothes. Oklahoma was funny in that one day it could be sweltering hot and then next day could snow, and right now it was nearing the former. 

The worn building had been used for bedsheets apparently until it was busted for drugs, or so rumor would have it. McCree drove up to the warehouse, noting a smiley face drawn through the dust on one of the windows. Most folks stayed away from the place, fearing bad luck but he was almost certain that the man from last night wasn’t the type to do that. Maybe he hadn’t come to Goodwell alone.

The warehouse wasn’t that big, maybe half what someone would expect from a standard sized one but then again it had been for bedsheets in middle-of-nowhere-Oklahoma. It wasn’t the best construction, taking the years and weather poorly in the foundations and McCree wondered how Hanzo could sleep comfortably in such a drafty old thing. Then again runaways didn’t have the luxury of sleeping in a the best conditions. Jesse would know. 

His hand rapped the door, his other straightened his collar while he cleared his throat. Much to his surprise, it wasn’t the snappy raven haired man who answered it, but a yawning green haired guy in a large orange hoodie. So he wasn’t stealing for one at least. 

“Yo,” the teen rubbed his eyes smearing his eyeliner slightly. 

“Howdy,” McCree finger gunned with one hand. Maybe Hanzo had a little brother, the two certainly did look alike. He bit the inside of his cheek, so much for ‘maybe this could turn into a date’ feel, but McCree was always one to improvise.

The green haired kid’s eyes grew, lighting up in exciting. “You’re the cowboy,” he mouthed before turning on heel and yelling. “HANZO! IT’S THE COWBOY!” He came back momentarily dragging along Hanzo who still had a wash cloth in hand. “Haha he already said howdy and everything. You weren’t kidding, he’s the real thing.” 

Hanzo was silent, out of shock or anger McCree couldn’t be too sure. His face went red as he pelted the teen with the cloth aimed at the face. “Genji! Do not dishonor us!” McCree tried to stifle a laugh, as Genji hit the ground in surprise. Hanzo took a deep breath composing himself before meeting his eyes. “Hello McCree.”

His efforts were in vain as he laughed when Genji screamed in horror as he peeled the cloth off his face. “Anija! How could you?!” His eyeliner was smudged and his voiced cracked as if he was about to burst into tears. 

“Shush,” Hanzo shot him a glare that could kill. Jesse stood there awkwardly, as Hanzo turned to him again and slightly bowed. “I apologize, this is my younger brother Genji.” He narrowed his eyes in his direction as the teen ran off trying to fix his eye makeup. “He is tragically stupid.”

“Aw it’s fine, nothing wrong with getting a little excited. I’m sure you two actually haven’t spent a whole lotta time in the states, where ya’ll from?” McCree had already googled and knew ‘Gomen ne’ was Japanese, but he was curious how up front Hanzo was with information. He still hadn’t ruled out ‘secret evil spy on Blackwatch’ from his mind.

Hanzo hesitated, his gaze falling to the ground. “We came from a train near Canada, now we’re on our way to Mexico.” His voice lowered in tone. ”If you must know.” 

“BUT, we are planning to stay here for a while,” Genji piped in, back with his eyeliner fixed. Peppy kid. “And wow! You must never have met a Japanese person if you can’t tell from our accents.” He just grinned into another Hanzo death glare, knowing that Hanzo had on purpose dodged the question. “You have to forgive my brother, he’s tragically grumpy.”

Jesse laughed as the pair broke into arguing in Japanese. He may have been planning for today to go differently, but these two were bound to make things interesting still. Although the question of how Japanese runaways ended up in Oklahoma was still lingering in the back of his head. If he played his cards right Genji might just tell him to piss off Hanzo. He wasn’t sure if he was jealous or happy that he was an only child, it looked like fun but also stressful as hell. After a few minutes of yelling Hanzo said something sharply and Genji just stuck his tongue out as his only retort. 

“So we ready to go fellas?” Jesse leaned on the door way with his hands in his pockets. Genji silently stalked out while Hanzo gave him a small smile before following. He was still wearing the same ripped jeans, but had left the blue hoodie behind. He was sporting a dark blue shirt that was tight, riding up his waist slightly. Before he could appreciate that fully, Jesse’s eye caught what looked like a storm of lighting and dragons curling up his left arm wrapping up past his sleeve. Jesse blushed thinking it was a damned shame that he couldn’t see the whole tattoo. He didn’t realize he was staring again until Hanzo cleared his throat. 

“Where do we start?” he asked, arms folded across his chest. McCree noticed that he avoided eye contact, instead gazing out into the distance of buildings. 

“Just follow me,” he gave a wink hoping he didn’t accidentally offend him. “Goodwell isn’t big, but we can make a few stops. I warn you though, this town is mighty boring.” This place was ideal for the elderly, farmers, and elderly farmers. None of the three fell into that demographic.

“I’m still excited,” Genji bounced next to him as they walked back towards the road. Genji pointed at his truck, elbowing his brother. “Look Hanzo, he even has an beat up truck like they do in the movies!!” McCree wasn’t sure what film he was referring to, but it earned Genji a flick on the face. 

“Watch your tongue,” the tips of Hanzo’s ears burned red. “Your truck looks... fine.” Hanzo’s expression was a mixture of disgust and confusion though eyeing the vehicle. He knew it wasn’t the prettiest thing but watching Hanzo struggle to be polite was darn cute. At least the fella tried, it was better than most people in Jesse’s life who always felt free to really dig into his flaws. 

McCree chuckled. “No need to lie, I know she ain’t the prettiest but she gets the job done.” He strode in front of the pair, gesturing to the left. “This way is where the gas station is, nothing you two really need to worry about.” He stroked his chin looking down the road. “I guess I’ll take ya’ll to Jerry’s, I don’t know about you, but I could eat a horse.” 

“You eat horses in America?” Hanzo raised an eyebrow though he looked amused.

“It’s just a saying, though I wouldn’t put it past the chili.” McCree gave himself a mental pat on the back when he saw Hanzo smile at the comment. 

“Uh we’re still broke.” Genji said gravely. “How cheap is this Jerry’s?”

McCree flashed a smile, waving his hand dismissively. “Don’t worry about it, it’s on me,” he glanced to Hanzo. “We can figure out how repayment for all this will work later.”

Hanzo looked at him warily which Jesse responded with a chuckle. “No need to look so grim, I won’t ask for much.”

“It is not like we have much to give,” his shoulder brushed lightly against McCree as he walked by. He wasn’t sure if that was a threat or a flirtation, it probably fell somewhere in the middle. 

“I know you have at least five bucks there,” he said slyly. Hanzo’s face turned pale with his brother tilting his head.

“Huh Hanzo actually has money? Then why did we have those dry granola bars for breakfast?!” he seemed more offended than anything else, side eyeing Hanzo.

Dark eyes turned their attention and fury to McCree. It took him off guard, the glare reminding him a lot like a wolf, not the one’s in the zoo he’s seen but the hungry wild ones that have half the mind to snap his arm in two. He suddenly wondered if Hanzo had ever taken a life, and if so why. Eyes like that were not gained from a soft domestic life. 

He was saved by the power of the delicious smell of fried food and burgers. Jerry’s was one of the locally owned diners, and as far as Jesse was concerned the only one worth eating. “We’re here boys,” Jesse chimed, opening the door and gesturing forward. 

Genji’s eyes lit up as he pushed his way in front. “Anija! They have red stools and tacky booths and decorations! It’s like what they have on TV!!” He grabbed his arm and pulled a reluctant Hanzo further in. He gasped loudly. “Is that a jukebox?! Oh my god, use your five dollars to choose a song!!” 

Hanzo appeared underwhelmed yet nervous. “I think it needs to coins to operate.” 

“Here why don’t you fellas get a booth and I’ll play a song,” McCree gave Genji a pat on the shoulder who beamed. 

“Thank you cowman!” He grinned ear to ear, dragging his brother along. “Hmmm I like that one!” Hanzo gave a defeated sigh, as his arm was pulled towards the corner of the diner.

Genji seemed like a good kid to McCree, not like the ‘potentially murderous spy’ type at all. He was lively and excitable and by the way Hanzo had tried to murder him with his eyes, unaware of the exact events of their meeting last night. Maybe it was for the best, he knew being a runaway was hard but couldn’t imagine what’d it be like watching out for another person while doing it. Before Deadlock Jesse had bolted from his home town at a young age, unsatisfied with everything and wanting for anything. He still felt that way most days, but he believed things were on the up and up. Standing by the jukebox, he watched the brother’s for a moment. Genji appeared to be flirting with the waitress shamelessly with Hanzo mumbling Japanese in a rather venomous tone. He pulled his brother’s ear that ended with Genji yelping and the girl laughing. It was surprisingly domestic, two brothers teasing with each other before lunch. He caught himself smiling although he didn’t have any family experiences himself to compare. He gave his head a shake after staring at Hanzo for a moment, popping in a coin.

_ “Love is a burning thing,”  _ The jukebox sang as he made his way over to them. They sat on the same side, which left him facing them both. 

He gave Genji a half smile. “See you talking to Julia over there.”

“Yes, she is very pretty,” Genji said rubbing his ear. “She seemed to like me but now I’ll never know because Hanzo tried to  _ kill me _ when I asked her if she did.”

“You are insufferable.” Hanzo groaned. “And embarrassing.” He rolled his eyes before looking to Jesse. “What music is this McCree, I haven’t heard anything like this.”

Jesse nearly choked on the coffee that was set out. “You mean to tell me you two never heard of Johnny Cash?!” He was met with two blank expressions. This was blasphemy. “Christ, what do you even listen to in Japan?”

“Japanese music,” Genji piped in, stirring more sugar packets into his mug. “But I like this song, it sounds like we’re in deep cow country.” He had a teethy smile. “On the train ride here I saw like maybe a million cows. Americans sure like beef.”

“Is that right,” Jesse laughed. “Well we sure as hell are getting you up to date with all the best cow music Mr. Cash has made. It’s damn good to anyone who has ears.”

“ _ The taste of love is sweet. When hearts like ours meet. _ ”

“I’d like that,” Hanzo met his gaze head on. “I’m sure you have lots of music to show us.” He gave a small smile, and McCree was sure his heart had melted on the spot. Damn, he really needed to work on not falling for ever snarky pretty-faced person he met, but  _ damn. _

_ “I fell into a burning ring of fire. I went down, down, down.” _

“That can definitely be arranged,” he leaned back against the springy seating. Julia came back with a notepad.

“Oh hey Jesse long time no see,” she had green eyes and blonde hair that was drawn back in a tight ponytail. Genji was right, she was pretty. “Whatcha fellas ordering?”

“I’d just like a burger with fries,” he took a long sip of coffee. “What do ya’ll want?”

Hanzo was still thumbing through the menu, when Genji gave Julia a smug grin. 

“What do you recommend Julia?” He gave her a wink. “You look like a lady with good taste.” Jesse raised an eyebrow as Julia blushed, surprised that actually got a reaction. Who would’ve thought Julia liked green hair. 

“Well I’d say they make a mean chicken fried steak sandwich,” she continued. “With a side of mashed potatoes, it’s hard to beat.”

“Sounds delicious,” Genji looked intently at her. “Thank you very much Julia.”

“Aw don’t thank me til you try it honey,” her gaze went over to Hanzo. “And for you sir?”

“I would also like a burger with fries,” he set the menu down, his eyebrows furrowed as if it had a code that he couldn’t decipher. Jesse wondered what he normally ate, seemed like his first time at a diner.

“I’ll go get this stuff started for ya’ll, just holler if you need more coffee,” she gave a shy smile back towards Genji before walking off. 

“Well I’ll be damned I never thought I’d see the day Julia smile like that,” Jesse laughed resting his elbows on the table. “Quite the charmer huh?”

_ “And it burns, burns, burns. The ring of fire” _

Genji’s eyes were still on Julia, as he leaned back. “Yeah you could say that, I just know how to talk to women.” He nudged Hanzo with his elbow. “Unlike someone in this family.”

Hanzo without missing a beat, yanked on Genji’s ear. “I know how to talk to women, the same way you speak to anyone Genji. I am not the one who ran around home bedding anything that pleased my eyes.” 

“Anija! And oww let go.” He sunk into his seat. “You make it sound so scandalous it was not so!” He defended himself. “You see Jesse, Hanzo is very awkward and unlikable so I have to pick up the slack so that our parents will have grandchildren one day!” Genji was quite lucky looks couldn’t kill or else Hanzo would’ve just sent him to the morgue. 

“I don’t think that's quite right,” Jesse slightly flushed. “I think he’s plenty likeable.”

Genji promptly scoffed, “Have him yanking on your ear and see how much you like him then. I’m surprised they haven’t fallen off!” Hanzo stared down into his coffee, a slight pink highlighted his sharp cheekbones. McCree took a long chug to prevent him from making a ‘I’d like him to yank me’ sort of joke. 

As to save Jesse from his own perverted thoughts, Julia came back with a tray of food in hand. “Order’s up,” she winked handing out the plates. Genji very-not-subtlety held her hand for a moment when taking the plate.  

“Thanks, everything looks great,” he gave a sly grin, “and the food as well.”

She just smiled, although her face had pinkened. “You are something else, you know that?” She gave a slight shake of her head before checking on the next table. 

“Perhaps not as charming as you think,” Hanzo chuckled darkly while picking up a fry. Genji responded by sticking out his tongue before diving into his food. 

This was nice. Sure, McCree had a million questions and then some that he was sure they wouldn’t answer but it had been a good while since he just went and got lunch with guys his own age. They were good company too, Genji had went off about a story of their train adventures and how this was the smallest town they’ve been to. Hanzo would chime in, correcting details or simply saying ‘that didn’t happen’ or ‘you're delusional’ but all with a smile on his face. Jesse was more than satisfied to munch away on his food and listen, their stories were interesting and dramatic, something his life had no shortage of but it was refreshing to not be the interesting or dramatic piece himself. 

“So is there an arcade?” Genji asked, his plate empty and some crumbs on his face. His hands rested contently on his stomach.“There was one where I grew up and man I always had the high score.” He grinned, teasing Hanzo. “At least always higher than yours.”

“Hmph, your memory fails you brother,” he sorted their dishes to the center of the table. “If I recall I always kept a higher score than you on most of them.” He took a deep breath before smiling. “But I bet I’ll destroy you even worse on these American games.”

“Guess you’re both in luck, there is actually one near the train station,” McCree lazily threw some money on the table, more than enough for the three and tip. He really didn’t have money to spend like this but he was sure Reyes wouldn’t mind if he dug a little more into his funds this month. “Let’s go before Casanova tries to strike again,” he teased where Genji just stuck out his tongue. That was enough to get Hanzo to snort, his laugh undignifying but undeniably adorable. McCree grinned, although Hanzo raised a hand to cover his mouth bashfully. 

“Everytime Hanzo laughs an angel cries,” Genji wrapped his hands behind his head walking ahead down the sidewalk. “Or so rumor has it.”

“Shush,” Hanzo put his hands in his pockets looking away. 

Jesse picked up his pace to stand next to Hanzo, not quite sure what he was saying before he opened his mouth. “I think it’s mighty darling.” 

“What?” Hanzo looked up at him, tilting his head. He hoped that was a blush and not just the afternoon sun reddening his face. 

“That uh,” all sense of smoothness or seduction Jesse had thought of left his head when he made eye contact. It was stupid how exponential his crush had grown over night, almost as stupid as he was for having it in the first place. “That it’s...cute is all. Don’t be shy I really like it when you laugh.” He was surprised to see Hanzo staring at him, mouth slightly agape. 

“I guess you’re fortunate I find you funny then,” he had an almost hopeful smile, so different and softer than he was last night. “Saying and wearing such ridiculous things,” he flicked his belt buckle unexpectedly. “What does BAMF even mean?”

Jesse rubbed the back of his neck, trying to kill the notion that he wished Hanzo’s hands stayed closer to his belt buckle area. “It’s well an acronym.” 

“Bad ass mother fucker,” Genji chimed in, though his eyes were narrowed. “The internet exists Hanzo, you might learn something.”

“Genji!” He hissed. They both started off in Japanese again, Jesse not sure if it was to make sure he didn’t know what they were saying or so they could argue faster. Whatever words were exchanged Genji went way ahead, with Hanzo coming back next to McCree.

“He’s going to the arcade and he’s not one to wait,” Hanzo explained after taking a deep breath. He paused, eyes closed as if he was having a conversation in his head. “Why don’t you tell me some tour like information now, none of this seems very organized.” He brushed fingers with Jesse while walking, giving him a smile. McCree would even go out on a limb to say it was a flirty smile. 

He returned it with a sly grin, feeling a little cocky. “Well, let’s see.” He bit his lip in thought. “Jerry’s was founded in 1969, y’know, so it’s real old. Back when Johnny Cash was president and -.” His grin widened with Hanzo’s snort. “No, no it’s all true, and um,” he snapped his fingers trying to recall the fake information. “And ring of fire, that song you just heard? Definitely the national anthem.” 

“You are full of shit, McCree.” He was smiling still so that had to be a good sign. “You don’t know anything about Goodwell do you?”

“Believe it or not darlin I’m not from here either,” he waited a moment to see if he’d get corrected to ‘mr-not-your-darlin’ but was pleasantly surprised by his silence. “And you can call me Jesse.” 

“Well where are you from then Jesse?” Hanzo watched him carefully, dark eyes focused. It was almost enough to make a man self conscious.

“New Mexico if you gotta know,” there was no harm in telling him. About as much harm that he knew that they were runaways from Japan. He would play it safe with answers for now, noting it was smart to leave out any references to Deadlock or Blackwatch for the time being. “Little town, kinda like this. Didn’t stay there long before traveling around.” He looked over at Hanzo. “Sorry this is kinda of a shitty tour, but you did try to rob me before hand.”

“About that, I do apologize.” He cupped his hand to his chin. “And I will repay you for lunch, we are not helpless children who must rely on charity.”

“Hey, I was just poking fun, no hurt feelings.” They rounded a corner where McCree leaned against the wall stopping their progress. “But I do have an idea for repayment on lunch.” He lit a cigarette, dragging out the tension.

“Oh?” Hanzo stood next to him, eyebrow raised. “And what would that be? I hate to tell you but I gave the five dollars to Genji for the arcade already.” 

“It actually is a really bad deal for me because it involves me buying you more food so,” he took a quick drag. “I’d really like to take you out.”

Hanzo paused, his expression not giving McCree a lot to read. “Isn’t that what today was?” He leaned against the wall next to him. 

“Well I’d be hoping it’d just be you and me. Your brother is a cool guy, but y’know.” Jesse was wondering if he was just playing coy at this point or that he had made a serious misinterpretation of their interactions.

Hanzo chuckled. “I would love for you to buy me more food, Jesse McCree.” He took the cigarette from his hand to take a puff. “On the condition we at least get a doggy bag for Genji or he’d never let me hear the end of it.” He placed the cigarette back in McCree’s mouth which was dry and open. His mind was in the middle of buffering, when his phone started ringing.

“Oh shit,” he looked at the caller ID “☠ BOSS☠”. If Reyes was calling it wasn’t a good sign, what time was it anyway? McCree’s head started to race.“I gotta take this, uh” his brain still wasn’t working properly, he was still fixated on how Hanzo smelled of sweat and smoke right now. “Don’t go anywhere, uh, please.” He scrambled to walk a little farther off to take the call privately and compose himself from a blubbering mess. 

“McCree you need to head back to base, there’s a new mission I think your sorry ass can handle.” Reyes sounded tired, but to be fair he always sounded tired. It came as part of his job.

“Nice to hear you too boss, I’m doing fine.” Jesse sassed, trying not to look back at Hanzo. It was irrational at this point, but he really didn’t want to turn around to see any empty sidewalk. “Okay so do I need to be back,  _ now  _ now, or like now?” 

There was a pause from the other side of the line, he could imagine the vein in Reye’s forehead tighten. “What? McCree just get your ass here ASAP alright, whatever you’re doing can wait.” 

He glanced back to see Hanzo wave his hand slightly. He was still there. “Fuck.. you got it boss I’ll be there.” His voice was resigned, but he understood that this was his job, his responsibility. It wasn’t gang life anymore. He hung up as Hanzo came up behind him, touching his shoulder lightly.

“Is everything okay?” His voice was low but touched with concern. 

“Yeah, it’s just work,” Jesse ran a hand through his hair in frustration. “Look, I have to go but I will finish this tour, tomorrow at noon if you’re free.” It was more rhetorical since he knew they didn’t have plans. 

Hanzo tilted his head, some of his raven hair slipping past his ear. “Yeah, that’s fine. Genji will be there for that but is dinner just for us?”

“That’s the plan,” McCree wasn’t sure how to say goodbye, so he just gave him a tip of his hat. “See you then Hanzo.”

He nodded in response before turning and continuing his way towards the arcade without a word. A pit in Jesse’s gut formed wishing he was going with him, but he had to pay his dues. Back to base, McCree went to see what Gabe had in store for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> also unrelated i play overwatch on the ps4 my psn is philtatos if u wanna play hmu


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another long chapter folks! Sorry if there's any grammar/spelling issues I edit this all myself so I try.

Hanzo approached the arcade alone, wondering how long Genji had been waiting at this point. He hadn’t foreseen Jesse asking him out on a date, nor that he would actually accept the invitation. Dark eyes with a smokey grin, he found himself intrigued and drawn to him. It was foolish, and by all accounts dangerous but Hanzo had traveled half across the world fending off bounty hunters and watching out for his brother. He was positive he could handle a flirtatious cowboy. 

The actual arcade was small, way smaller than the one in Hanamura, but it still had about five or six games. Genji was playing something intensely, his eyes glued to the screen that he didn’t notice him enter. The place was otherwise empty of any patrons, the only other soul was an old man sitting behind the snacks counter who appeared asleep. Hanzo grimaced, dirty popcorn and soda stains were everywhere on the tacky purple carpet almost indistinguishable from the cartoon pictures of obnoxious orange rocket ships. From the state of things he imagined it didn’t get a lot of business in such a small town. It’s lack of hygiene didn’t help by any means. 

“Genji,” he stated before his brother groaned, smacking the console lightly with his hands. 

“It just restarted for the fifth time already! How does anyone get past level four on this thing?!” His gaze never left the screen as he inserted more coins, fingers quick. He must’ve had the sleeping man give him change for the five, Hanzo hoped he wouldn’t pick up any quarters off this floor.

“I’m sure it’s very stressful,” he couldn’t help but roll his eyes as Genji continued to play. He always got so caught up in silly things, either a hundred percent or nothing. There was no middle ground with the teen. 

The machine flashed game over, and blinked the screen off and on again. Genji gave it a resigned slap before resting his head on the controls. “Kuso, it won’t work. It’s too old and American made.” He blinked lazily, overgrown green hair in his eyes. “Where’d the cowboy run off to? Don’t tell me you attacked him and took his wallet.”

Hanzo chuckled darkly, only if Genji knew how ironic that was. “He had to go to work, his boss called him.” Genji wandered off towards another game uninterested, Hanzo followed. “But he did say he’d finish the tour tomorrow, we might be able to squeeze another lunch out of him.”

“Aww Hanzo don’t be mean,” he gave him a shove before starting the machine up, the screen lighting up with the title ‘Pong’. “I like Jesse, he talks funny and has a cool hat. It might do us some good to try to make some friends since we’ll be staying here longer.” Hanzo watched him play quietly before he started up again. “So did he ask you out or what?” 

His face went pale to red before scoffing. “What would make you ask such things?”

Genji’s eyes never strayed from the screen, “I am not blind nor stupid anija, I see the way he looks at you.” Hanzo restrained himself from scolding him, although his ear tips burned pink. “Plus it took you a while to catch up here, meaning you had to talk about  _ something _ .” He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively, getting him another scoff in response.

“I will be accompanying him tomorrow evening,” Hanzo shook his head still in disbelief that he had agreed to it in the first place. “For dinner.”

“Aaaand I’m guessing I’ll need to make myself scarce,” Genji said it more as a statement than a question.

“I’ll still pick you up dinner, he seems more than compliant with paying,” he looked passively at the carpet. “Who knows, perhaps he’ll have some relevant information about the state of affairs in America. I doubt he knows anything about the Shimada clan but -”

Genji cut him off, the game over screen flashing again. “Or maybe just relax and go on a date? I thought the point of leaving was to not fixate on the past,“ he made eye contact. “Hanzo do you regret leaving?”

The seriousness in his voice took him off guard leaving Hanzo speechless. After a moment he replied honestly, “I don’t know.” He wanted Genji to be happy, that was the priority, that was why they had left. But Hanzo did feel guilty about it, he did miss Hanamura, Japan, and their family. What triggered it all was the first time their father had laid hands on Genji, although he was quite regularly a shit he had always been their father’s favorite who was prone to spoiling him. Genji would argue with their father, then he’d get in trouble but the next day they would go somewhere fun and make up. It was almost ritualistic with how repetitive it happened. However, as they grew older the tone of their relationship changed, their father growing more strict almost cruel. The Shimada Clan  _ was _ a crime syndicate, and they wanted Genji to step up and do his part in hopes that one day he would rule it alongside Hanzo. Of course Genji didn’t take that well, he was a child, he liked to have fun and to not follow the rules with little to no interest in business or illegal dealings. Hanzo shook his head, not wanting to relive the events the night they had left, remembering his father and Genji’s harsh voices and cries. It had been spontaneous, a gut reaction that left them in poor condition for their journey. It was that same night Hanzo told Genji that he was taking him far away from home. He wasn’t thinking, he didn’t even think of it as a permanent thing until they changed continents. It was all so sudden, so out of character for him that he still didn’t understand why he did it himself. Perhaps he didn’t regret leaving, but he did regret the way they left. 

Genji stared at him in silence. “That’s it?” He knitted his eyebrows together, the displeasure obvious on his face. “I don’t know?” Hanzo didn’t speak, his gaze stuck on the game over screen where the machine was stuck. “Well I  _ know _ it’s the best decision we’ve ever made. They don’t get to own us, that’s not what having kids is about.” His voice rose sharply, he always was loud when angered. “I’m my  _ own _ person, I never wanted any of it, not one bit, not ever.”

Hanzo tried to keep his voice low. “We should still respect our parents,they have given us everything.” His bitterness bled through his words. “They have given  _ you _ more than most. Even more time to be continue being a child when it is far past the time for you to grow up.”

“Grow up?!” He was now yelling, the man behind the counter waking up with a surprised snort. “And how should I grow up? To be like father who is never home and always tired? Who is always mad and thinks he can buy love like he buys anything else? To be like mother who is always wearing the same smile that everyone knows is complete bullshit as her hair grays and her heart grows weaker with every passing year?!” Hanzo rose his hand to try to hush him, but Genji swiftly slapped it down. “Or should I grow up to be like you, brother?! You who always tries to be the perfect son even if it’s killing you inside? I know you just want to please our parents but you’ve never got to live because of it! Is it really worth it, to be on hand and knee for people who don’t see you as anything more than an asset? We have left them Hanzo, and even now you cannot escape their influence!” He huffed, gazing at the man behind the counter. “I am sorry for my outburst, you have a fine establishment and I’ll see myself out.” His glare was a rare sight, and it burned through Hanzo’s skin. “I’m off to enjoy myself since this is my  _ one fucking life, _ I suggest you try to do the same.” With that he stormed away, leaving Hanzo alone with the man behind the counter just going back to sleep. 

He stood their for a minute, trying to control what initially was anger. It would’ve been ideal to avoid a scene, but Genji was always bit of a flare. He’d get mad light a fuse and make a show, but he’d burn out with no real damage done. Hanzo on the other hand was the more dangerous of two when angered, and hence he had always been one with greater restraint. Still, Genji’s words still rang in his ears. Why did he leave? He still loved their family, missed Hanamura and the Shimada Clan but he had been the one to take Genji to leave. He felt guilty about it, that they had to live so lowly now, but would rather die than let one of those bounty hunters or assassins take his brother away. Hanzo was always someone to think things through, to always have a plan a through z. Yet here he was living through instinct, going with impulse decisions. It was confusing, and he couldn’t blame Genji’s reaction to it all. Hanzo hadn’t been acting like himself, and he supposed that was because he didn’t know himself anymore. He wasn’t the perfect son he wanted to be, he wasn’t the wise elder brother he mused himself as. If anything he felt like he was more and more like a wild animal these days, only worrying about food and survival. Perhaps he did need to take a breath and evaluate everything for a while. 

His mind flashed to a certain shit-eating grin and the scent of smoke. McCree had been yet another compulsion, from the first time he met him to accepting his dinner invite. He couldn’t place it but something about him made him want to know more, to keep asking questions, to get closer. It was foolish, something that would be expected from Genji but perhaps they were more alike than he knew. Maybe he should swallow his pride for a night, and just try to have fun on the date, to act like someone his age. It was true that their parents weren’t here, that they had left them in Japan. He still had troubles shaking their voices from his head, instructing him how to act, how to speak, how to watch after his little brother. It would take time, but he needed to be free from them. He desperately wanted to find himself, to see who he really was. To gain the sense of identity that Genji so easily and proudly displayed. To be his own man.

Hanzo went back to the warehouse with his brother nowhere to be found. He sighed, knowing that he’d come back eventually most likely whenever he got hungry and went to bed early finding himself more tired than usual. 

Genji was there when he awoke although not talking to him. He was one to give the silent treatment when upset, but Hanzo knew it was temporary. He was never one to hold grudges, again something Hanzo was much better at. The morning went normally for him otherwise, the brothers had been breaking into the local school’s locker room to take showers which was easy since school wasn’t in session at the time being. Perhaps it was near Christmas, Hanzo wasn’t the best at keeping the dates anymore, the last four months smearing themselves into a blur. He washed himself using his bar of soap carefully, not sure where and when he’d find another. He hated that he hadn’t washed his hair in a while, but with winter wet hair was not a good idea for a warehouse with no power. Living conditions weren’t the best, not even close to what it had been at home. But Hanzo wasn’t one to complain, he accepted things the way they were and moved on. Maybe that was part of his problem. 

The tour again was derailed. It went even faster in that Genji just wanted to hang out in the warehouse and the cowboy was more than happy to comply. Genji knew how to keep face, he teased and poked at Hanzo as if he didn’t hate him just this morning. Hanzo huffed, eating another dry granola bar periodically nodding to the crazy stories Genji kept telling Jesse. He figured the American was smart enough to know that one of Genji’s favorite activities was being overdramatic and stretching the truth at this point. It was nice though, sitting with his brother and Jesse and simply listening to their conversation. Thankfully, Genji wasn’t too keen to drag him into the discussions and Jesse was more than talkative. The cowboy had a sense of humor, and was prone to easy laughter. They would make eye contact periodically, Hanzo always finding himself quick to look away just sitting on a crate quietly. He was foolish, this was foolish, but after his talk with Genji he couldn’t help but second guess himself constantly. Hanzo knew he wasn’t the best communicator, and it was so much easier when Genji did all the talking. The sparrow always chattered, Hanzo was sure that he must have a problem with silence with the way he always strove to fill it. He was thankful for that.

McCree spoke little about himself, and avoided any details about his job. He discussed New Mexico, how he missed it sometimes but loved traveling. He showed off his gun, not the most subtle of men. It was however an impressive piece, and he did know his way around it. A large six shooter, he bragged about how great of a shot he was.

“I got the nickname Deadeye actually,” he gestured to the gun, Genji bright-eyed. “One of the best shots my old boss ever saw, he’d tell me. I don’t know how true that all is, but I ain’t a novice for sure.”

“Oh my god, you have the coolest nickname!” Genji almost bounced off his makeshift seat. “The one my family gave me is a lot less impressive. I’m the sparrow and he’s the wolf,” he pointed at Hanzo who lazily nodded in agreement. “Sometimes though Hanzo is even called the dragon. So cool!” He grinned widely, looking expectantly at Hanzo. What was Genji doing? Trying to talk him up?

“Dragon huh?” McCree looked over at Hanzo inquisitively. “I can see the wolf but where’d the dragon part come from? Your ink?” Hanzo could feel his eyes on his arm, the dragons twisting in the storm. He should probably not tell him that they could summon ancient dragons that he went to for advice sometimes. He’d hate to scare him off. 

“It’s a family motif,” he rubbed his forearm, feeling the dragons wrestle underneath his skin. They had lain dormant for sometime now, perhaps they were ashamed with Hanzo. He would not blame them. “It is applied more to me than Genji since I was the heir to our family business.”

“Family business? Pfft, I always figured ya’ll were rich kids.” McCree nonchalantly messed with the dust on the box he was sitting on. “If you don’t mind me asking why did you leave? Hated the family business or something? Wanted to spread your own wings?”

Hanzo was quiet for a moment. “Something like that.” He pulled his knees to his chest, suddenly feeling homesick. Those were perfectly good reasons why Genji would run away, but Hanzo was still unsure with himself. It was for his brother, the one that he vowed to watch after. He had promised his mother that much and Hanzo kept his promises. He never made many for that reason. 

“They weren’t exactly good people,” Genji said, looking down. Hanzo wanted to scold him, tell him that they were good to him, damn they were so good to him. But he understood that what they did wasn’t always so good. Genji had a heart for strangers, always sticking up for the little guy, his capacity for empathy already made him a better man than Hanzo. That’s why he needed to protect him.

McCree lit a cigarette before grunting. “Sucks.”

“Yeah.” Genji stood up and stretched, his joints popping. “Well, that got depressing quickly so I’m going to hit up the arcade.” He swiped up his hoodie, and opened his hand up to Hanzo expectantly. He hesitated before sighing and placed some quarters into his hand. Genji grinned and winked at his brother before going out the door. “Don’t do anything I would do.”

Hanzo scoffed while McCree rubbed the back of his neck. They were both silent for a bit, the sound the door shutting echoing in the warehouse. “Should’ve guessed that you would tell him, seeing as you are brothers and all.”

“Should I have not?” Hanzo’s eyes still lingered on the door. It wasn’t that late in the day, and Genji had been doing most of the talking. This must be his way of ‘ just talk to the guy Hanzo’, his metaphorical kick through the door. 

“Oh no, it’s just a bit weird you know.” He kicked up his boots on a smaller crate. “We’ve been talking all day and he didn’t let out any signs that he knew I wanted to…” he stopped himself, obviously wanting to backtrack his words.

“Wanted to what?” Hanzo watched him squirm a bit, flustering himself. He hated how endearing it was. 

“Get to know you better.” He made eye contact, his face warmed by the light of his cigarette. 

“Care if I have one?” Hanzo leaned over to grab a cigarette, not waiting for a reply. McCree simply lit it for him before settling back down. Hanzo closed his eyes, taking a long drag before speaking. “Well I suppose this your chance. What do you want to know?”

He tilted his hat up, stretching comfortably. He was a few feet away from him, both of them sitting on a jumbled pile of crates that Genji had tried to arrange like furniture. It wasn’t the most comfortable things to sleep on, but it was more or less fine for sitting. “To be frank I’m not sure what you’re willing to tell me.” He took a long drag, staring at the ceiling. “I wanna know anything that you’ll be honest with me about. Not gonna play a q&a where I end up with a bunch of vague answers yknow?”

Hanzo rested his chin on his knees, the scent of smoke overwhelming his senses. “That’s fair enough. You’ll have to forgive me, I’ve never been good at this.”

“Talking?” He sounded amused.

“Making friends in general.” He huffed, jealous of how Genji was skilled with words. Most of Hanzo’s youth was spent in deep education and training, his social life never especially exciting. He liked McCree, he really did but he wasn’t sure on how much they really had in common. However Jesse did seem more than content to smoke and talk which wasn’t such a bad activity. He took a deep breath.  _ Try to have fun. Relax.  _ He could imagine Genji coaxing him that nothing bad would happen about being honest. If McCree really was a bounty hunter here to drag them back to Hanamura he would’ve tried it already, he had many opportunities to do so. He just sat there, staring up without a care in the world. His gun laid next to him on a crate, easily reachable by Hanzo. If he was truly a professional assassin, he was sloppy and the Shimada’s never hired sloppy.

“I feel ya,” Jesse crossed his legs. “Never had much luck myself, always moving around and most of the people I worked with are assholes. You two are like a breath of fresh air in comparison.” He chuckled to himself. “And you even already tried to break my neck, and it still holds true.”

“What was your job that you would get a nickname like Deadeye?” Hanzo asked still looking at the gun. 

“Hmph,” he leaned forward, his gaze also falling on the firearm. “If I tell you then you gotta answer something honest. Anything I ask. Deal?” There was a twinkle in his eye, dark and mischievous. 

Hanzo nodded unfazed. “Go for it cowman, but you answer me first.”

That got him to laugh, low and thick. Hanzo did admire the richness to his voice, how his drawl elongated words. He would never admit it out loud, but he could listen to him talk all day. “Well alright  _ dragonman _ , believe it or not sweet lil o me was in a gang before my job now. Deadlock, I doubt you’ve heard of them since we never did any work near Japan.” He continued, his voice softer. “We were a good terror ‘round the West though, did some real bad shit. The type of shit that you get a gun for and get a stupid ass nickname.” He shook his head. “But that’s all behind me now, I’m trying to put myself to help society. Clean start yknow? Use my skills for the betterment of civilization or some shit.” Jesse went silent for a while, fixated on the end of his cigarette. 

“ What’s your job now that you still require a gun?” Hanzo tilted his head. He was interested, but not all that surprised that Jesse was an ex gang member. It was something about his eyes that told that. 

“Tsk tsk,” Jesse looked over at him, dark brown locks draped over his face. “That’s not how this works, I answered your question now you have to answer mine.” Hanzo broke eye contact, causing Jesse to lean forward. “That’s the honorable thing right?”

“Ask then.” Hanzo could feel a tightness in his chest, nerves biting at him. McCree had shared an intimate detail about his past, it wouldn’t be that bad whatever the cowboy had in mind. He was honest, almost brutally. Hanzo knew that if he lied that he would know, that he could dissect the truth from him with something so small as a glance. 

“Hmm,” he stroked the hair on his chin, longer than stubble but not nearly enough to be a real beard. He grinned, drawing out the tension before the question for all that it was worth. “Do you know,” he paused for a more dramatic effect, “...how to use a gun?” Hanzo almost let out a laugh of relief, from such a heavy subject to this.

“Yes, yes I do.” He took a quick puff. “However I prefer archery. There is more skill required to aim well with a bow.”

“Oh ho ho, is that so.” McCree raised an eyebrow. “Archery is a bit ole fashioned.”

Hanzo scoffed, rising to his feet. “Says the man dressed like a western caricature. Archery is a traditional and honorable way of combat that requires more physical and mental strength.”

“Pftt,” he waved dismissively. “How good of a shot are you even? With your ‘honorable and traditional’ bow that is, dragonman.” 

Hanzo rose his hand, hushing him. He walked back towards his things, pulling out a large case. Even as rushed as their departure was he would never leave stormbow behind, the weapon as essential to his person as his dragons at this point. He opened the clatches delicately, McCree came up behind him whistling. 

“Well I’ll be damned,” he said a little breathless as Hanzo pulled out the bow reverently. “She’s a beauty that’s for sure.”

“Yes,” Hanzo agreed, his hands outlining the bow. “Stormbow has never disappointed me, my arrows shoot like a song.”

McCree went back picking up his six shooter. “Peacekeeper here saved my ass plenty of times.” He smugly glanced back at Hanzo. “Bows are nice and pretty but a gun is a real modern weapon. Now  _ this _ shoots like a song.”

Hanzo grinned dropping the cigarette and stepping on the bud. “Is that a challenge?” 

“Oh honey it’s only a challenge if we both use weapons from at least the industrial times.” Jesse quipped, holstering his gun. “But if you want I can drive us out of town a little ways to see who’s the better shot.” 

“I  _ know  _ who’s the better shot,” Hanzo scoffed, one hand on his hip. “But I am intrigued by this. Why not just use the warehouse? I am sure no one would care for a few broken crates.”

“Oh don’t worry, it’s a short drive to the woody area I know a place we can shoot bottles and some targets.” He gazed out the window, noticing how it was begin to darken even though it wasn’t that late. So was the effect of winter. “I’d rather not have Peacekeeper go off in town, send cops this way and what not.”

Hanzo almost forgot that him and Genji were in fact, squatters in the face of American law. Being arrested was a big red flag, it would render every sacrifice to this point obsolete. He shook his head, careful to not dwell on that possibility but to try to be more aware of it.

“I forgot that guns are so loud,” he went over picking up his quiver still stocked with arrows. “Very well I’ll go, but it is starting to get late. What about dinner or have you forgotten?” Hanzo wasn’t about to let a free meal slip from his fingers. 

“Don’t worry darlin I’m the master of improvising,” McCree gave a sly grin. “We’ll pick something up to go before heading out, eat it there it’s fine.” He hesitated for a moment, as if there was more to contemplate from the question. “Like hell I could forget if someone like you agreed to go on a date with me.”

Hanzo opened the door for him, letting him go first. “You don’t even know me.” His cheekbones still burned shyly, taken off guard by his sincerity. 

“Well that’s part of the charm. Most people round these parts are easy to know, everyone is living the same boring vanilla life.” He continued as they made their way to his truck. “But you? For the life of me I can’t read you.”

“Does that bother you?” Hanzo opened the door with a creak. The paint was red and chipped, but the inside of the pickup was actually not that bad. The felt of the seats were relatively clean, the only true complaint he had was it reeked of smoke which wasn’t surprising. McCree took his time settling into the driver's seat first, the vehicle growling a few times before successively starting..

“It should, shouldn’t it?” He pinched the end of his cigarette before dropping it out the window to the gravel. He looked at the wheel blankly. “But I’ve always been one to be attracted to trouble, my mother used to tell me it’d be how I’d meet my end.”

Hanzo gazed out the window quietly, dropping the subject. Today was colder than yesterday, the sky grey and foreboding. It chilled him to his bones, the thin fabric of his hoodie not nearly enough to keep him comfortably warm. He hated the fact that Genji and him threw out their smartphones, something too obvious to trace along with any credit chips that they had before leaving. No weather forecasts, no way to contact anyone other than face to face. It was isolation, to a silent cold world. He often felt overwhelmingly alone.

“You don’t mind if we get McDonald’s do ya?” Hanzo recognized the red and yellow sign. Genji loved the food, while Hanzo would argue if it should qualify as food at all. He just nodded, not focusing on Jesse’s words but agreeing with nonverbal cues. He didn’t really care what he got to eat, or what they’d pick up for Genji. That gremlin would eat most anything if it had been fried.

They went through the drive thru, Hanzo holding his bow case in his lap and staring out the window. The scent of grease and fries caught his attention with McCree attempting a balancing act of the three bags in the space between the front seats. 

“Can I ask another question there Hanzo?” He rolled up the window, slightly shivering from the cold as well. They only had a few hours of daylight left, the sun hidden behind clouds. 

Hanzo looked to him, eyebrow raised. “What is it?”

“Is something up? You’ve been awfully quiet today,” He rummaged through a bag popping some fries into his mouth. “I mean I get it if you’re just quiet, but it looks like somethings on your mind.”

“I’ve been contemplating,” Hanzo touched the window absent mindedly, the cold glass kissing his fingertips. “Genji and I had a fight last night, and he gave me a lot to think about. I am sorry if I am poor company at the moment.”

“No need to apologize, siblings fighting when you’re stuck together all the time is about as natural as mosquitoes flying into a light bulb.” He swerved slightly to miss a speed bump, leaving town and entering what Hanzo couldn’t believe to be even a worse paved road. “Well whatever it is I’m sure he still loves ya, I didn’t feel any signals that he was mad.” He laughed to himself. “Or maybe I’m real bad at reading you two.”

“How comforting,” Hanzo joked. He knew Genji was most likely over it now, just playing at the arcade. He wondered what trouble he’d get into in town, he had the attention span of a small child and had no doubt after a few games he’d be off. He hoped Genji would stay out of trouble.

“I aim to please,” he stopped momentarily to look at Hanzo. “Here, I’ll play some music that always cheers me up when I got the blues.” He poked a button on the dashboard, tuning it a bit past the static. An acoustic guitar started which seemed to excite him. “Oh shit I love this song!” He increased the volume as he began to sing along to what sounded again like Johnny Cash. “ Well my daddy left home when I was three, and he didn't leave much to Ma and me, just this old guitar and an empty bottle of boooooze!” He slapped the steering wheel in beat with the guitar. 

“What even is this?” Hanzo laughed, trying to follow the lyrics. They were ridiculous as the song progressed, even more so as Jesse was not shy with his singing.

“Well, I knew that snake was my own sweet dad, from a worn-out picture that my mother'd had and I knew that scar on his cheek and his evil eye, he was big and bent and gray and old, and I looked at him and my blood ran cold, and I said: "My name is 'Sue!' How do you do!? Now you gonna die!" Yeah that's what I told 'em!!” he continued to sing along, his voice deep and booming. He nudged Hanzo with elbow who couldn’t help but laugh. He had no clue why someone would write a song about being a man named Sue, but it was quite the treat.

The song approached it’s end, McCree belting out the last lyrics. “And if I ever have a son, I think I'm gonna name him, Bill or George! Anything but Sue! I still hate that name! Yeaaah!”

They both broke into heaving , rib splitting laughter, tears in the corner of Jesse’s eyes. Hanzo raised his hand in front of him mouth, trying to mask the mixture of snorts and wheezing laughs. What a ridiculous song. 

“Now that’s President Cash’s song, “A Boy Named Sue.” McCree rubbed his face composing himself. “Something I guess where my pops didn’t completely drop the ball. At least Jesse is a good respectable name for a man.”

“Hmph, perhaps for Americans.” Hanzo messed with his pony tail, a smile still residing on his face. “Now Hanzo is a good traditional name.”

“You and your traditions,” McCree shook his head as he turned off the back road into a dirt road. “We’ll let’s see if you can put your skill where your mouth is, Robin Hood.”

They were in the woods, still with enough light to see but it was fairly dark and cold. There were broken glass bottles laid across a worn fence, although Hanzo couldn’t guess what the original purpose for the wooden stakes were. A few trees had targets carved into them, riddled with bullet holes and beer cans near them. He pulled out his bow and began to string it with Jesse polishing off a burger sitting on a tree stump. 

“You still got your McChicken there champ,” he threw the bag over to Hanzo, who caught it. He pulled out the sandwich and stared at if for a moment. “What’s the problem never had McDonald’s before?”

“Oh believe me Japan has enough of these wretched stores.” He unwrapped it and took a bite, heavily breaded chicken filling his mouth. “Just remembering the last time I had one of these I was a boy. Our parents never did like us to eat fast food.” He shook his head smiling. “Genji would cry and scream when we were younger for those damn nuggets, just as annoying as a screeching baby bird.”

“Is that why he’s called a sparrow?” McCree rolled up the wrapper throwing it back into the bag. He licked his lips while rubbing his hands off for grease on his jeans. Hanzo appreciated that he didn’t lick his fingers. 

“No, I’m not quite sure why our parents gave him that nickname,” he walked over to stand a little nearer to Jesse to finish his meal. “I think it fits him though. He’s finicky as a bird. And loves shiny things.” He rolled his eyes before throwing out his trash. He had been hungrier than he thought, slightly conscious about how he inhaled that sandwich. Hanzo sat up brushing his bangs out of his eyes. “Now let’s see if you are good as you claim gunslinger.”

“Fine, ya wanna go first?” McCree gestured to the tree. “Or you think you can hit a bottle with that clunky piece?”

Hanzo scoffed picking up his bow. “I can hit a  _ bottle _ cowman, now be quiet and perhaps you will learn something.” He pulled an arrow from his quiver and easily hit the bottle in the center, the glass shattering. Hanzo wore a satisfied grin, looking over at McCree who had his arms crossed.

“Hmph, not bad.” He squinted his eyes at the demolished bottle as he pulled out Peacekeeper. “Beginner’s luck.” He fired which was followed with the sound of breaking glass. He grinned as he twirled the gun dangerously around his hand, obviously happy to show off the trick. 

“I don’t need luck when I have skill,” Hanzo pulled another arrow and hit the bottle while keeping his gaze on Jesse. His reaction was priceless, with his mouth going agape followed by a look of fiery determination glowing in his eyes. Hanzo smugly grinned, baring his teeth. “Your move Sue.”

“Oh you wound me,” Jesse bit his tongue as he maintained eye contact and rose his gun towards another bottle. “I have to hand it to you, you’re helluva shot.” The bottle burst with the sound of a gunshot. “But you mighta met ya match.” He turned to reload to have all six bullets. “Now watch this and learn archer.” While maintaining eye contact, he fanned the hammer and six bottles shattered with six shots. Perfect aim for a not very accurate method of shooting.

Hanzo sneered, already reaching for a scatter arrow. “Impressive.” He brashly shot the special arrow towards the bottles, several being destroyed while one bounced back and went through McCree’s hat. He gave out a yelp, reaching to his head which appeared unharmed. 

“You didn’t mean to do that did ya?!” His voice was either filled with awe or terror, Hanzo was too panicked to tell. 

“Are you injured?” Hanzo dropped his bow and ran over to Jesse, running his hands on the top of his head feeling for blood. Thankfully the dark brown locks were dry, with maybe just his scalp being ashy. His face ran red with the sound of his heartbeat thumping in his ears. “Does it look like that was intentional? I nearly killed you…” 

Never did McCree’s laugh sound so sweet. A large hand patted his shoulder, Hanzo’s hands still twisted in his hair. “That was fucking awesome. Scary? Yeah, but it was one hell of a trick shot.” His eyes were warm in the fading light, the brown reminding him of the earth. He didn’t realize he was just staring at him, hands still lightly brushing his hair out of his face before a breeze made him shiver.

“Yeah,” he quickly walked away, picking up the cowboy hat and returning it. “You wouldn’t be much of a cowman without your cow hat.” McCree watched him, biting his lower lip. Jesse slapped it on his head sloppily, his neck and face glowing red against the monochrome of the dormant forest.

“Well I’d say we had a draw,” Jesse gazed into the woods, the sound of wildlife a constant white noise in the background. “Wanna have a try? You can sure shoot an arrow but what about a bullet?” He offered Peacekeeper to him, Hanzo taken a bit back. McCree had seemed like the type of man that would be extra careful with who could handle his firearms.

“There are no more bottles,” Hanzo gestured, though he still took the gun presented in front of him. 

“We still got the targets darlin, I just wanna see how you handle a gun.”

“I handle them as fine as my bow,” Hanzo held the piece for a moment, the heavy metal unfamiliar to his hands. It had been a while, but in this new world of course the Shimada’s were taught how to use a gun, if anything they were easier than the swords and bows they played with. He took aim at the tree, careful with his stance prepared for whatever kick it had. He shot twice, a natural habit to always make sure that the target was down. It wasn’t a bullseye, but it was two holes in the smallest ring, which was good enough for Hanzo.

He heard a low whistle from McCree. “Not bad, not bad at all.” Hanzo handed back the gun, feeling a small burst of pride in his chest. 

He picked up and offered stormbow. “You want to try?” 

Jesse shook his head, holstering his gun. “Nah, I know I  _ seem _ like the best shot in all the world but I have never touched a bow in my life.” He looked out into clouds, the woods a lot darker than they were when they arrived. “It’s gettin pretty late too, best take you home. But I’ll take that as invitation that you’ll show me the ropes around archery sometime.”

“Consider it a date,” Hanzo unstrung stormbow and started placing it back into the case. The chill had worsened, he was unable to control a sudden shudder that went through his body. He really needed to invest in a thicker hoodie next time he came into some money or this winter could be miserable.

“Believe me I do,” Hanzo felt a warm weight placed around his shoulders, McCree’s leather bomber jacket draped on him. His eyes went up, Jesse giving him the softest look. He only wore a white t-shirt, goosebumps multiplying visibly on his arms. “Now let’s hit the road before someone catches a cold.”

Hanzo nodded in agreement, surprisingly touched by the small gesture. They listened to more Johnny Cash on the ride back, Hanzo even making attempts to sing along although he didn’t know any of the lyrics. McCree laughed loudly, always tearing up at the corner of his eyes and scrunching his nose. He lived and laughed so vividly, so dramatically it was contagious. Hanzo didn’t mind when he draped his arm around the back of his seat, going on about how he had made that gun range for himself. Apparently he didn’t get along with many of the people at his new work who he also lived with, and needed a little place to unwind and shoot things. Hanzo could understand, everyone needed alone time some more than others. He blushed at the notion that he had shared that place with him, on nothing more than a whim and a competitive spirit. Hanzo was more than content to wear small smile and nod as Jesse went on and on. He felt a pang of sadness when the warehouse came into view. Part of him never wanted this car ride to end. 

“Well tell Genji I said hi and don’t forget his food,” McCree handed him the greasy bag, the M logo looking sullen. 

“I will,” Hanzo started to slip off the jacket when Jesse raised his hand.

“No worries, you can keep it.”

Again, he was taken back. “Are you sure?”

He wore an easy going smile, “Yeah at least for tonight. I’d feel some mighty bad knowing you were freezing your ass off in some warehouse when I’ll be snug at home.” Hanzo nodded at him, pausing at the door. “Take care of yourself Hanzo.”

“Thank you Jesse.” His hand still rested on the door, refusing to shut it just yet. “You...you should know you can come over whenever you want. To the warehouse that is.” He swallowed the knot that formed in his throat. “You are always welcome company.”

McCree just watched him for a moment, a wide grin spreading over his face. “Well shucks, that’s awful sweet. I think I might just have to take you up on it.” He took off his hat to run a hand through his messy hair. “I do owe you a tour anyways right?” 

Hanzo snorted, reminded that their attempts of tours always got derailed. He’d be surprised if he ever even got around to tell them where the farmer’s market was.“Right.”

They stood there in a silence, Hanzo’s eyes on his feet. “Good night,” Jesse placed his hat back on, his face still bright.

“Drive safely,” Hanzo shut the truck door and watched him drive off, his back lights fading in the distance. He had that stupid warmth stuck in his chest, sad to watch him leave. A cold gust of wind reminded him to go back into the warehouse, which left him wondering if Genji was still mad at him.

An orange blur ran outside, stopping a few yards in front of him. “ANIJA!” Genji yelled, pointing at him. Hanzo lifted the bag, which caused him to scream. He sprinted towards him, snatching the food from him and picking through the contents. “McNuggets…,” he unexpectedly wrapped his arms around Hanzo squeezing tightly. “I love McNuggets.”

He hit the top of his brother’s head, sighing deeply. “I know.” Somethings truly never changed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Seriously look up that song it's hilarious Johnny Cash is life. Also I start up school again Monday so I'll be striving to update once a week but depending on how school and work treat me it could be a lot more irregular. Again thanks for all the love!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay for another long ass chapter! Be warned, at the end the angst begins with me finally getting to that plot.

It became a habit, that after he was done with whatever work he had for the day McCree would go visit the brothers in the warehouse. Reyes never asked where he went, either he didn’t care or was always too busy. McCree was glad for that, it was nice to not spend all day with the people of Blackwatch. Honestly other than Gabe he didn’t care for them, they all reminded him of people from Deadlock too much. Too violent, too hungry for the next kill, Jesse prayed that he wasn’t like that although he knew there was a reason he was Blackwatch not Overwatch.

The next few weeks had went by way too fast for him. It was well into January, almost February even though he wasn’t sure the brother’s even knew that or cared.The trio frequented the arcade the most, with not a lot to do otherwise in Goodwell. McCree paid for most of the food, resulting mostly in fast food fries and burgers, although he did like to treat them to the diner every once in awhile. It was wild to think that Jesse McCree would make any friends with his background and yet here he was with two. He smiled to himself, daydreaming while Reyes was trying to debrief him on an upcoming mission. He was never that good at listening, he just wanted orders and then to go. Details would be dealt with once he got there. 

Gabriel sighed heavily. “Are you even listening McCree?” Jesse nonchalantly nodded yes, though he still wasn’t paying full attention. This didn’t seem to go over well with Reyes, that vein in his forehead becoming visible. “Then tell me what you should do next?”

“Y’know.” He shrugged. “Whatever you want, you are the boss man.” Jesse looked out the window dreamily. The carnival was coming to town despite the cold weather, Goodwell always booked at the worst times. It came with having a population of a couple hundred if even. He was planning on asking Hanzo if he wanted to go with him, still wanting to go on that second date. He hadn’t pressed it, seeing how shy Hanzo was and all, especially when it came to other people messing with his bow. They still went out to the shooting range and other places alone, and he was sure that he was flirting back. Anyways hanging out with him and his brother was enough for McCree, but with a special event coming like this was the perfect opportunity to see if his relationship with Hanzo could become, well, a relationship. 

Gabriel held his forehead, eyes closed. “You know what? It’s too damn early why don’t you go visit your girlfriend or boyfriend or whoever it is you’re always running off to.”

Jesse’s face pinkened at the accusation. “What? Boss I don’t know where you got that idea from.” He rubbed the back of his neck. Damn, he hated that he had an easy tell if he was lying or nervous. If anyone could pick up on them, the head of Blackwatch would.

Reyes laughed, his tone a lot softer than Jesse expected. “Why are you so embarrassed boy? It’s fine if you found some country bumpkin to kill time with.” He waved his hand at Jesse. “I’ll tell you later, see if I can hash out more details with the employer. Now go get before I change my mind.”

McCree was slightly offended that anyone would refer to Hanzo as a ‘bumpkin’ of any kind, but he wasn’t about to look a gift horse in the mouth. He said a quick thanks and with that he made his way out of the base, driving the familiar route to the warehouse. He teemed with anticipation, knowing that the odds were in his favor that Hanzo would say yes but there was always that chance. The notion that Hanzo could be his boyfriend excited him, although he didn’t know exactly where they stood. As great as Hanzo was in his eyes, the man had a hard time communicating. 

He didn’t take time to change, other than picking up a coat and ditching the chestplate, he wore his work clothes. He didn’t bother knocking at this point, the warehouse was old enough that they could hear him coming way before he ever got to the door. Those two were incredibly observant. 

“Yo,” Genji said without looking at him, playing what appeared to be an intense game of cards with Hanzo.

“Howdy,” he tipped his hat before going over and sitting near them. They were all on the floor, on top of a few layers of worn blankets. Genji was enveloped in his hoodie while Hanzo wore Jesse’s jacket over his pjs. He couldn’t help but smile, something about him wearing his clothes was a satisfying sight. Hanzo nodded when he sat next to him, though his eyes were glued to his hand of cards. “Whatcha fellas playing? Texas Hold’em?”

“Gold fish,” Genji deadpanned. “Got any four’s?” 

Hanzo cursed in Japanese before pulling out three cards. “You are still going down little brother.”

“Say that again when you actually win a game,” he grinned widely revealing that he had actually finished his hand. “Five games for Genji!! Zero for frumpy Hanzo.”

“Hmph,” Hanzo threw the cards down. “I am not sure how you are cheating but there’s no way you’re that better at me in such a simple game.”

“Not everyone is destined for greatness,” he chided before turning his attention to Jesse. He finger-gunned in his direction. “So what’s the plan, cowman?”

He was interrupted by Hanzo who stood up. “One moment let me change into something other than sleep clothes.” He walked to the other side of what served as a makeshift ‘wall’, an attempt for the brother’s to have some sense of privacy from each other. Jesse caught himself straining his neck to see where he was headed when Genji laughed.

“C’mon man no peeking at my brother.” He elbowed his side, just hard enough to hurt a little. “No, but seriously what are we doing.”

“I’m glad you asked, there’s something actually special happening in town.” He leaned back into a more comfortable position. “The carnival rolled up, and I was thinking we should go.”

“OH that’s good!” Genji pulled his legs out of his hoodie, looking less like an orange egg. “I can take Julia out to that, it’ll be like those stupid American romance novels.”

“Wait, you actually got Julia to go out with you?” McCree was thankful in the sense that this made things easier for alone time with Hanzo but he was genuinely surprised. Julia was someone who didn’t date much with her parents always breathing down her neck and all.

“What you doubt my charm?” He grinned, overgrown green hair falling over his eyes. “But she is the one who actually approached me at first. She is a very lovely girl.”

“That she is,” McCree looked back towards the pseudo wall. He knew that Hanzo had to have heard their conversation and hoped that he was excited to go as well. If anything these past few weeks have only increased his infatuation with the guy, stemming from their developing friendship and back and forth flirting. Hanzo was cool, collected, and witty. And it didn’t hurt that he seemed to like Jesse too.

“Then I guess it can work as a double date,” Hanzo appeared in his one outfit, torn black jeans and a dark blue hoodie. The bomber jacket was a bit big on him, going past his waist and covering most of his hands. He supposed that worked since he never saw the guy wear gloves other than when he practiced with his bow, enough to keep him warm. He got caught by dark brown eyes. “I’m at least hoping that’s where this was going.”

“No, no you’re completely on the money.” Jesse scooted over a bit to make more room for Hanzo to sit down. “I’m glad you’re down for it, little carnivals like this are a bit shady but they can be fun as hell.” Hanzo sat next to him with a soft plop, his knees pulled up to his chest. “And the food is all deep fried. I’m sure it’ll set us in cardiac arrest but at least it tastes real good.”

“Sounds delightful,” Hanzo looked over at Genji who was pulling on his shoes. He wrinkled his nose. “Where are you going?”

“Well it’s past one so it should be open already right? When does it close?” Genji blinked at McCree, still with one shoe in his hand.

“I don’t reckon it closes until pretty late. We have all day so no need to rush.” He offered a cigarette to Hanzo who declined before lighting one for himself. 

“Then I still need to stop by the diner and tell Julia about it,” he wrestled his shoe onto his foot triumphantly. “And see if she can get me a free waffle or something.”

“You already ate don’t act like I starve you,” Hanzo stated, watching him unimpressed. “Be good, okay?”

He winked, shooting a smile that Jesse knew was a hundred percent bullshit. “I’m always good, no worries.” He rubbed the back of his head as he made his way to the door. “I’ll see you guys there.” He rose two fingers to his eyes then pointed to Jesse. “And I got my eye on you lover boy. Don’t disgrace my brother.”

The door shut, with Jesse laughing nervously, flushing slightly. “Oh that Genji. Saying the darndest things. What does disgracing you even mean?” It was sweet seeing him being protective of Hanzo, most of the time it was the other way around. Hanzo a lot of the time could act like a fussy mother hen but it was from a good place. 

“Don’t listen to him, he just likes to tease.” Hanzo’s cheeks were dusted pink his gaze moving from the floor to Jesse. “And how would I know? His mind is still a mystery to me.”

“Ah. Well hey it’s alright, I don’t mind.” McCree loved moments like this, when he was with Hanzo in private. He liked being close. “So what do you wanna do?”

Hanzo swayed a bit, his bangs moving side to side around his face. His hair was tucked underneath the jacket, although still tied back. Jesse really did want to see what it looked like let down, though he wasn’t quite bold enough to ask yet. He stood up offering his hand to McCree to help him up. “I want to go on a walk around town before the carnival. It isn’t as cold as it has been.”

McCree wasn’t sure if that was true, but then again he wasn’t the one living in a warehouse. “Sure thing doll,” Hanzo helped pull him to his feet. “We can go window shopping or what not, since we both are kinda super broke.”

Hanzo chuckled, slapping his shoulder playfully. “Speak for yourself I have fifty dollars.”

McCree pretended to be hurt, which earned him another chuckle.“I will never understand how you come to always have cash,” Jesse joked while adjusting his hat. “Y’know what I better not ask, I don’t wanna get robbed next.” McCree held the door open for him, a chilly breeze greeting them.

“You must think so little of me,” Hanzo walked outside, exhaling to see his breath. It really was still stupid cold. “I didn’t rob anyone actually, I found it.”

“Oh you just found fifty bucks laying around?” They walked down the alley towards the road. “I find that mighty convenient wouldn’t you? And we both know your background with stealing things.”

Hanzo scoffed, his arms wrapped around his sides. “I have apologized many times for that, but it was weeks ago.” He rolled his eyes with a smile. “Let it go.”

“Oh darlin you have me mistaken.” Jesse gestured to his chest.” I’m talking ‘bout how you done snatched the air outta my lungs when I first saw you.” He grinned watching Hanzo’s eyebrows raise with surprise.

He reached over, pulling on McCree’s cheek before stuffing his hands into his pockets. “You’re ridiculous.” Jesse saw the red rise on his face to his satisfaction. “And of course you were breathless, I knocked you on your ass.”

He rubbed the side of his face, Hanzo certainly had a strong grip in his fingers. No wonder Genji always cried when he’d yank his ear. “That you did.” They walked side to side, McCree’s hands resting on his belt. 

“How was work today?” Hanzo was always the one to ask the polite questions, even though McCree knew he preferred silence to most things. The effort he put in to talk with Jesse was sweet. 

“Ah y’know the same old shit.” McCree had shared some minor details about what he did, but he made sure to stay away from the whole Blackwatch subject. Most folks knew of Overwatch, but the way Blackwatch worked was that people didn’t. Telling his hopefully future boyfriend all of that was probably not allowed at this point, though he did want to share it with him one day. For what he lacked in conversational skills, he did give useful advice and a good listener. With his aim, he was almost tempted to ask Reyes if he could join. “Got a meeting whenever I get back, but there’s no hard schedule so we can be out all night if you want.” He stretched his arms back behind his head, stopping to look at the window in front of an old antique store. Hanzo halted by him, leaning forward and squinting his eyes at a turquoise vase. 

“One hundred and fifty dollars? Who would buy such things…” He scrunched up his nose in disgust. “So much money for something so old and ugly.”

“Huh funny coming from Mr. tradional over here.” McCree popped his neck. “But you’re right, it is pretty ugly.” 

They walked the streets towards the downtown part, browsing what was on display and mostly making fun of various items appearance and price. It was fun, probably the most domestic thing McCree had ever done in his life. He couldn’t remember the last time he just went window shopping and enjoyed himself, he doubted he ever did. It was weird to think that he was having a string of normalities in his life, but it lit something in his gut attributing it to him meeting Hanzo. The way the man could describe how the color green was tacky in immense detail was both hilarious endearing, Jesse never wanted him to stop talking. He’d find it a fine day even if all he did was listen to whatever was on Hanzo’s mind.

“Want to stop to get something to snack on?” Hanzo asked, noticing a line of markets coming up. 

“I suppose I could eat, what do you want?” McCree replied though Hanzo had already wandered off, towards where the baked goods were being sold. “Bread it is,” he said under his breath, jogging to catch up to him. 

Hanzo was eyeing a variety of breads, different sweets and loaves on display. Behind the counter was a portly old woman bundled up and obviously very dedicated to her job. If Jesse had to try to sell baked goods with an outside stall in winter, he’d be calling in sick until May. He wondered how they even kept them warm, though he doubt that affected the sales in such a small place.

“Anything catch your eye young man?” The old woman spoke with a heavy country accent. She reminded McCree of probably what his grandma would’ve looked like if he ever knew her, with tanned wrinkled skin but a wide smile. She seemed pleasant enough.

Hanzo paused before pointing at a crescent under the glass. “Two of those please.” He pulled out his wallet, paying for them before Jesse could get a word in. The buttery bread was shoved into his hand, before they headed back to the sidewalk. 

“You didn’t have to do that,” Jesse always felt somewhat guilty whenever Hanzo spent money on him. He figured it was some sort of pride complex, but honestly McCree was well to do comparatively. He didn’t worry about a roof over his head or food in his stomach, Blackwatch pretty much took care of everything. Hanzo was essentially a hobo with a hobo brother, he needed to save whatever money he came across.

“I wanted to,” Hanzo bit into the flaky treat, taking a moment to finish his bite before continuing. “You always pay, sometimes it's nice to change things up, right?”

McCree looked at him fondly, his face covered in crumbs.“Right.” It only took him a few bites to eat the crescent, the buttery bread no doubt getting in his stubble. He rubbed his chin trying to shake the bits off with Hanzo laughing at him. 

“Here you’re missing everything,” Hanzo used his napkin to wipe his face before reaching to Jesse’s. He clawed his fingers gently across his chin, digging his thumb at the edge of his lips. “There, you’re clean now.” He kept his hand there, watching his lips for a moment that caused Jesse to hold his breath. After what seemed like a short eternity, Hanzo shut his eyes and withdrew his hand leaving McCree tempted to grab it back already missing the warmth on his face. 

“Thank you kindly,” His voice was soft, his eyes stuck on Hanzo’s hand. “What ever would I do without you?” McCree followed behind him as he started back down the road. 

Hanzo chuckled, wearing that small smile that Jesse often chased after. “I don’t know, you’d just be wallowing in your own filth for all eternity? How fortunate for you that I came along.” McCree almost jolted, feeling Hanzo’s hand wrap around his. He took a moment to thread their fingers together, allowing McCree enough time to gather his bearings. 

He swallowed, a warmth crawling up his neck. “Y-yeah.” He squeezed his hand lightly, a grin spreading across his face. “I’m real lucky.”

They continued their game of who could find the ugliest thing on display until they eventually ended up in the park, where Hanzo found a bench he wanted to sit down at. McCree took a deep breath, a little sad that their hands parted. They faced the pond, a quaint little thing that had a small fountain that spurted and sprayed in a chaotic manner. It was charming, in a rough around the edges sort of way, but at least the water was still clear. A few sad ducks swam about, quacking loudly. Poor fellas didn’t catch the memo that they needed to fly south, but it still hadn’t snowed yet this winter so there was hope for them yet. Hanzo leaned closer to him, lacing their fingers back together his gaze meeting McCree’s. Maybe there was hope for him yet.

Jesse couldn’t help but smile, flashing his teeth. “Something on your mind there sweetpea?”

He looked back out at the water, resting his head lightly on his shoulder. “Yes.” Hanzo sighed deeply his thumb stroking Jesse’s slowly. “Do you like me?”

McCree was honestly taken back by the spontaneity of the question. The way they were curled up at park bench made it sound silly. “Well, yeah I do.” He tilted his head to see his face. “I wouldn’t be visiting you every damn day if I didn’t.” Jesse paused feeling suddenly self conscious. “Do you like me?”

Hanzo was quiet for a long while causing McCree to sweat a little. He let go of his hand, cupping it to the side of Jesse’s face. His eyes met Jesse’s, dark and half-lidded. “Of course. I wouldn’t let you visit every damn day if I didn’t.” 

The sun was getting low, the sky a mixture of pinks and oranges with not a cloud in sight. Hanzo’s strong bone structure was framed by his dark hair, the lighting tinging his skin with warm tones. He had a severe face, nothing could truly change that but something clicked in his visage that made his demeanor soft. He swiped his tongue across his lips, McCree had never truly appreciated how pink they were. Jesse leaned in, closing the distance between them when he heard a familiar voice practically scream his name. 

“JESSE! HANZO!”  _ Genji.  _ That fucker. 

Hanzo balled up his hands into tight fists, moving them from Jesse’s face to his sides while cursing quietly. Jesse shot a glare over the back of the bench seeing Genji standing next to Julia waving his arms wildly. 

“Howdy,” he tipped his hat fighting the urge to shove it down Genji’s throat. 

“Haha sorry if I interrupted anything,” he chided which had Hanzo sending him the nastiest glare. “But if we’re all here we might as well head to the carnival. It is already starting to get dark, which means it’ll only get colder.”

“Hey Jesse,” Julia smiled her lips a bright red. Her hair was up in a high ponytail which was complemented by her turtleneck dress and tights. It was odd to see her all dressed up, besides waitressing Jesse never really saw her around. But he couldn’t argue that she was certainly cute. 

“Hey Julia,” he gave her an unenthusiastic nod, more than a little bummed that a potential make out session had been cancelled by the brother. Genji wasn’t kidding that he had his eye on him.

Hanzo nodded to her, although as soon as he got up he grabbed Genji by the collar and whispered some very aggressive Japanese to him. Genji slapped him on the back reassuringly still speaking in their native tongue leaving Jesse and Julia in a somewhat awkward silence.

She broke it on their walk towards the carnival. “So I didn’t know you were dating Hanzo, that’s cute.” She held on to her bag in front of her and walked somewhat cautiously. Jesse figured she wasn’t one to wear heels usually.

“Yeah,” he scratched the back of his neck, the brother’s still bickering. “Didn’t peg you the kind of gal to date Genji, how’s that going?”

She blushed her gaze fluttering down to her feet. “He’s.. well he’s sweet. And there’s no other guy in town like him.” She let out a nervous laugh. “I mean we’re having fun, that’s what you're supposed to do at our age. How’s it going with Hanzo?”

He shot back a glare at Genji. “Good but y’know a little slow. He’s a real private type of guy, so I shouldn’t really say much.” 

“Oh, sorry I didn’t mean to pry. That’s funny though, if he’s really quiet because wow Genji  _ really _ likes to talk.” She looked at her phone for a second before continuing. “It’s nice to talk to a guy who isn’t just into horses, trucks, and guns no offense.”

“None taken,” Jesse understood her, he was kind of in the same boat. What initially attracted him to Hanzo was he was different than anyone else he met. Not just in Goodwell, but in all of his life traveling western America. There was just something about him he couldn’t shake, the lines of his face and raspiness of his voice that followed him to his dreams. The more he learned about him, the more he wanted to know, the more he wanted to make him smile, the more he wanted to make him laugh. Jesse bit the inside of his cheek wishing that he gotten a taste of those pale pink lips. A taste of him.

The arguing faded out behind them, with Genji coming up wrapping his arm around Julia’s. “Sorry about that guys, what’s up?” He grinned although McCree was not sure if he had forgiven him just yet. 

“Just talking about the trials of dating two certain Japanese fellas,” Julia stated, leaning into his touch. 

“Oh I’m sure we all feel for Jesse, my brother can be quite obstinate.” He stuck out his tongue with Hanzo rolling his eyes in the back.

Julia lightly shoved Genji. “Be nice.” 

He returned it with a shrug. “Of course, my apologies.” She giggled as he dramatically leaned in to give her a peck on the cheek. 

“We’re here,” Hanzo stated, grabbing Jesse’s hand with more than a little force. The lights of the carnival rides and games glowed beautifully against the darkness of the night, Jesse had never really went to these things himself, at least not without a few glasses of whiskey in his system. He was excited, despite Hanzo practically dragging him away from the other couple. “I’ll see you at home Genji.” He announced although his brother looked fully preoccupied with whispering and giggling with Julia. 

“Slow down there pardner, my arm might just pop off.” Jesse skidded them to a stop with Hanzo giving him an apologetic look. 

He let go of his hand, frowning and obviously frustrated. “Gomen ne. I was just trying to ensure we would have some alone time.” His eyes narrowed towards the direction of the entrance. “Uninterrupted.”  

Jesse laughed giving Hanzo a light pat on the cheek. “Hey, chin up it’s a carnival after all.” McCree scanned the area before pointing at the most intricate looking ride. “Let’s go on that thing, that should fuck us up.”

Hanzo eyed the contraption, which was so ominously called ‘The Twister’ skeptically. “Are you sure these are up to safety protocols?”

“Not a chance in hell,” McCree raised a hand to his hat gazing up to take in The Twister and all of it’s horrendous glory. The ride involved strapping yourself into a shady looking ball that would spin in all directions while going over a twisting track. “Dangerous.. You in?” He gave him a wink and a toothy grin.

He was still looking up with a deep frown on his face.“I suppose.” He rubbed his chin in thought as McCree bought them tickets. “Are you sure we won’t die?” 

“It’s a little late for that,” he helped McCree buckle in, although he still didn’t look like the biggest fan of the The Twister. “What is it Hanzo, don’t tell me you're afraid of heights?” Jesse teased him reaching over to Hanzo’s belt buckle.

He scoffed, swatting McCree’s hands away to secure himself in. “Please, I’m sure I’ve  _ climbed _ higher than this death trap goes. It is wise to have some kind of caution is all, this  _ is _ my first American carnival.”

Jesse felt his stomach lurch as the ride began. He laughed nervously. “This is my first American carnival sober.”

The next few minutes were wild as they were shot into the air, spinning sporadically as the ride raced across the track. It was mildly terrifying and a bit nauseating but nothing Jesse hadn’t experienced already. Life with Blackwatch had sent him on missions where he ended up in more dizzying situations. Stepping off he couldn’t walk straight, his hand resting on Hanzo’s shoulder trying to balance himself. Hanzo was in worse shape than him, his hair was a mess while he wore the most nauseated expression. Jesse reached up to try to fix up his hair but was swatted away. 

McCree made a face as they staggered their way to the nearest bench. “You never let me touch your hair,” he complained watching Hanzo pull the raven locks up into a ponytail.

“It’s not clean,” Hanzo stated, magically it seemed he had regained all coordination. He sat up straight, smoothing out his bangs with his fingers. “You buy me a bottle of shampoo and then you can touch it as much as you want.”

He couldn’t help but get a goofy grin imaging burying his face in it. “I’m going to hold you to that y’know.”

“I would be disappointed otherwise.” Hanzo suddenly scrunched up his nose, his hands at his temples. “All that did was give me a headache, did you even have fun?”

“As much fun as it is to be spun around like dirty laundry in a broken washing machine.” He leaned his arm on the rest behind Hanzo who still squinted up at the ride. “Maybe we’ll just stick to something a bit slower. Or hey I could go win you a stuffed bear or something?”

Hanzo sneered. “Please if anyone is winning anything it’ll be me.” 

He laughed in response, knowing of course he would protest at that. “If you beat me in any game of aim, I’ll eat my hat.”

“What an odd request,” Hanzo reached over snatching up his hat and placing it on his own head. “If you beat me you can have this back.”

McCree was quiet, taking in full appreciation of the sight of Hanzo in a cowboy hat. He swallowed trying to find his words. “I don’t think those are the most fair of terms there.”

“Oh? I think they are quite generous,” he leaned into Jesse before taking his hand and leading him off. “Enough talk, it’s time for me to destroy you.”

“You sound mighty confident there,” Jesse teased. “If I recall hubris is usually the downfall of man.”

Hanzo tilted the hat up, giving him a serious look. “But not today.”

As it turned out, Hanzo was right. They took their chances by playing a variety of ‘throw the ball into the hole’ games with him winning each one, handing McCree some obnoxious stuffed animal prize each time. At this point he had three small rabbit charms and one teddy bear, McCree was almost embarrassed with his performance but he couldn’t help but be distracted watching Hanzo play. The determination that glimmered in his eyes, with him adjusting the hat and biting his lip whenever he aimed, Jesse couldn’t help but stare which definitely threw off his game. If this was what losing felt like, he was worried that he could make it a habit.

“I suppose you would eat it if it was yours,” Hanzo chided, after winning yet another game handing him a stuffed toy snake. He tipped the hat, smugness written all over his face. “But it looks like the hat is mine.”

Jesse just watched him, grinning from ear to ear. 

“Why do you wear such a goofy grin,” Hanzo pressed a finger to his chest, obviously having fun. “You lost cowboy.”

“I’m just thinking you look mighty fine in that hat is all,” McCree grabbed his hand bringing it to his lips. “Most handsome fella here that’s for sure.” Hanzo’s face went instantly red, not sure what to do with his hand when Jesse let it go. He took a breath before taking the hat off his head and handing it to Jesse.

“I changed my mind. Eat it.” He looked away, McCree holding his hat dumbfounded.

“Oh c’mon darlin!” Jesse couldn’t help but laugh with Hanzo pouting. It was unfair how he went from deadly handsome to adorably cute so quickly.

“Yes brother you should show more compassion,” Jesse turned around to see Genji hand in hand with Julia, taking a giant bite of cotton candy. 

McCree knew he was off whatever hook he was on with Hanzo glaring at Genji. “What are you doing?”

“Trying to win Julia some gifts, but it looks like someone already got all of the best toys!” He gazed enviously at McCree who carried Hanzo’s prizes in one arm.  

Julia waved him off dismissively. “Really it’s fine, I don’t really like stuffed animals anymore.” Genji gave her an incredulous look, his mouth slightly agape.

“Wha?! But they are so cute.” He gave a poke to the teddy bear McCree held. “Look, it’s a little soft bear! Who wouldn’t want it?”

With a huff, Hanzo threw up his hands and walked off, leaving Jesse still dazed. 

“Uh… here, you can have it then.” McCree shoved the toys to Genji whose face lit up like the sun. He was sure he made some exclamation or some form of thanks but Jesse didn’t catch it as he went to find where his date had run off to. He could see his breath in front of him, noticing the chill for the first time. The noises and lights seemed to blur around him for a moment, Jesse feeling somewhat lost. He was out of place, someone like him didn’t belong somewhere like here. This was a small town carnival and he was a criminal, or at least ex criminal. That line was still not quite drawn clearly, and he found himself unsure. Before he could diverge into deeper thought, he finally found Hanzo back turned from him.

Hanzo gazed at the ferris wheel, the lights reflecting in his eyes. “There,” he simply stated before going ahead of Jesse who followed behind.

“A bit mild but m’kay.” McCree stretched his arms out behind his head as they took their seats. The man at the control stations looked tired and a bit grimy, but he didn’t make them pay so Jesse couldn’t dislike the guy. 

“I think you could take the breather after I just thoroughly defeated you.” Hanzo teased, as he switched his position from the opposite side of the cart to sit next to Jesse. He wrapped his fingers around his, holding their hands on McCree’s thigh. He did appreciate the extra contact, it made all of this feel more real. 

“Oh pfft I went easy on you. It’s your first time, I didn’t want to scare you away from all future carnivals forever.” Jesse gazed fondly at Hanzo who seemed to be getting lost in the stars. The best thing about living in the country was the sky was always riddled with them, almost overwhelmingly so. The lights below seemed to be so far away with the ride rolling up to the top lazily. It felt like the worries down below couldn’t find them. “I’d love to take you again.”

Hanzo was silent, squeezing his hand a little tighter. They went a few cycles before he spoke up. “Thank you Jesse.”

“Aw don’t sweat it, it’s always a treat to take you out.” McCree replied casually. He did have fun, he always did when he was with him. Honestly, seeing him after work these last few weeks had become the highlight of each day. He looked forward to the time he would spend with the brothers especially cherishing times like this. 

Hanzo turned to face him, a look in his eyes that reminded him of a wolf. Not in a outwardly dangerous way, but one of hunger. Hanzo took his hand to stroke the side of McCree’s face, his fingers stopping at his chin. Jesse’s gaze fell to where Hanzo licked his lips. They were pink and chapped but god they were enticing. 

“Jesse.” He barely mouthed, his name hardly audible.

“Yeah?” he found himself leaning into Hanzo’s touch, not even sure if he heard him or not, his voice nothing above a hoarse whisper.

He tensed a bit, feeling a nervous heat in his gut as Hanzo wrapped an arm around his waist pressing their bodies together. With half-lidded eyes, Hanzo bridged the gap between their mouths slowly and sloppily. McCree was a bit more aggressive with the kiss, bumping noses awkwardly all feeling his heart nearly beat out of his chest, the sound almost deafening. McCree’s hands rested on Hanzo’s hips, feeling him stiffen and then slightly loosening up with the deepening of the kiss. He tasted breathlessly sweet leaving Jesse trying desperately to feel more with his tongue. He was so warm, so close, so vivid. McCree knew he could get caught up in this, and that he damn wanted to. That he already was. Hanzo withdrew first, taking in a deep breath before resting his forehead on his. 

“Mhmm,” he hummed, the warmth from his flush spreading to Jesse. 

Jesse rubbed Hanzo’s arms lightly with his hands, eyes closed. He wasn’t the religious type but this felt pretty damn close to heaven. It wasn’t until a thud of the cart stopping did he open his eyes, seeing that they needed to get off the ride with harsh eyes from the man at the controls.

He gave him a sheepish grin, while stepping off hand in hand with Hanzo. 

Like as if the devil himself was calling, he felt a buzz from his phone. A text. From Reyes. 

_ Debriefing in 15, be there. _

Jesse groaned, shoving the phone back in his pocket before turning to Hanzo who was still blushing like a peach in July. “Sorry doll I have to get to work, want me to walk you home?” 

Hanzo’s face darkened a bit with disappointment, nearly breaking Jesse’s heart. “I suppose.” He still seemed to be warm towards Jesse, hooping his arm with his before walking down the road back towards the warehouse.

It was quiet and dark, a few street lights dead. McCree didn’t pay much mind to it, the chill had made Hanzo curl up closer to his body which was a win in his book. Hanzo stuck his hand into his pocket, lacing their fingers. He flushed with how Hanzo was pressed against his side, he could almost feel his heartbeat past his steady breathing. He managed to sneak a kiss to his cheek, his skin pale with only the moon and stars as light. It warmed against his lips, and he could feel Hanzo smile letting out a small content sigh. His brain was on fire, Jesse hadn’t felt this way about someone like this in a long time, hell he wasn’t sure if he had ever. Sure he had dated before, been with people physically but it scared him how he never really  _ cared  _ about a person like this. Hanzo was hot as the devil and clever as him too, but it went past that. He was good to Jesse, didn’t press with his questions too much and understood and accepted the rest. He was a good hell of a mess, but Hanzo was too. It worked,  _ they _ worked. God, Jesse hoped that they worked.

Too soon he was in front of his truck, feeling cold with Hanzo straying from his side. He turned to face him, his eyes looking warm and soft. Jesse finally got to brush his stray hairs behind his ear which left him grinning. 

“Looks like I’ve got to go darlin.” He felt a bit nervous as he continued. “But.. can I ask you something?”

Hanzo gave him that small smile that he could never get enough of. “Of course.” He brushed his fingers lightly against Jesse’s. “You can ask me anything.”

“So..we’re like exclusive now right?” His face went red, feeling dumb asking for the clarification. “Like we’re..boyfriends?”

His laugh was always so deep and dark, but it did relieve some of McCree’s nerves. “Are you serious Jesse?” His blank stare back at him seemed to be enough as an answer. Hanzo shook his head, “Yeah, yeah I’d say we’re fairly exclusive. I certainly don’t plan on seeing anyone else.”

Jesse’s face lit up, reaching out to hold hands taking on a serious tone. “Well believe me I’ll do my darndest to make sure you’re as happy as you’ve made me. Hell, you’ve done put Goodwell on the map for me baby, no one else in history has made going to a warehouse as exciting as you.” Hanzo chuckled as McCree continued. “I mean it, every last word. You’ve put the sun back into my sky and I’ll be damned if I don’t at least light you a candle. I’ll be good to you.” 

“You already are.” He leaned up on his tiptoes to kiss McCree without him bending down. It was quick, but sweet. He rested his forehead on his chest for a bit, with Jesse wrapping his arms around him for a tight hug. It was late with the temperature probably dropping below freezing, but he didn’t care. This closeness was enough to ease his troubled mind, even though at this rate he was probably going to be late. Hanzo pulled away, the prettiest pink residing on his cheekbones.

“You should go or else you’ll miss your meeting.” McCree let go of his hand with reluctance but nodded. 

He went into the truck, rolling the window down as Hanzo stood by. “I’ll miss you sugar.” It was enough to get a quiet laugh and a subtle blush. 

Hanzo waved him off, still smiling. “Go off now you ridiculous man. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

McCree drove off, seeing Hanzo watch him leave from his rear view mirror. He bit the inner part of his cheek, cursing Gabe for cutting the night short although he wasn’t sure what else could happen to top it. He was riding high on cloud nine, a lightness bouncing around in his stomach. His chest tightened whenever he thought about Hanzo, but there was the relief that it wasn’t all in his head. He liked McCree, hell he was the one to kiss him first. He didn’t even know his surname, but in all honesty he didn’t care. Jesse knew the man in front of him, knew that he was a runaway that cared for his brother and was tough as nails. He had soft dark eyes and was a hell of a shot, and liked sweets more than he ever let on. He was quiet but affectionate, and often expressed his feelings better through actions rather than words. He was intriguing, in mind body and soul. McCree swore that he wouldn’t let himself fuck this up.

He arrived about twenty minutes after the text, the meeting room already cleared out by the time he got there. 

“Fuck, just five minutes?” 

A loud thud on the table snapped to him senses, Gabriel slamming down his hands behind him “Late.”

McCree turned around, rubbing the back of his neck abashed. “Sorry.”

Reyes rose his hand. “Save it. Just sit down and shut up.” McCree complied letting him continue. “Now I don’t know what’s going in that head of yours, but let me make this clear. I’m going to go over this one more time cabrón, so consider yourself lucky.” It was a mild threat from Reyes, not one of his best but he understood the implications. He needed this job with Blackwatch, without this he was back on the streets, back to how things were before. It didn’t hurt that Gabe was also really  _ really _ fucking scary when he was tired, and the bags under his eyes screamed for sleep. He nodded in agreement, focusing on Reyes trying to sober himself up from his emotional high. 

He cleared his throat, annoyance obvious in his face. McCree still couldn’t get past how it had only been five minutes, but whatever. “Alright so there are some illegal firearm deals going on near this area, we know this, it’s the whole reason we’re in this goddamn location. So far every trail we’ve been on has ended cold, sound familiar?” McCree nodded anxious to get to the new part of the information. It was late and after his spill of feelings he was actually quite exhausted. “Well we might have found our needle in the haystack. This... group, this organization posses intel that we desperately need to get this over with to pinpoint the center of the trafficking ring. The thing is these people don’t work for free.”

Jesse stifled a yawn, “Then why don’t we just pay them for the info and then call it good?”

Gabe hissed at him for interrupting. “Only if it was so simple. What they want is something that won’t cost any money but a lot of fucking ground work. That’s where you come in. Since you decided to stay out for literally the entire goddamn day.” He pushed Jesse’s shoulder with his index finger. 

“Okay, so what do I gotta steal for them?” He adjusted the red bandana around his neck a little irritable at this point.

“It’s not so much as what as who.” Gabriel pulled out his tablet swiping across the screen. “Their two sons have went missing for over four months now, and they are under the impression that they are in America. Not just that but that they’re headed towards Mexico and rumors have it that the pair might be passing through Oklahoma.”

“The train station,” McCree mouthed not sure with what he was hearing. He wasn’t a stupid man, he could put two and two together, the problem was if he was willing to. He was silent as Gabe continued.

“Exactly,” he laid down the tablet showing a map. “Goodwell has a small station and it’s a place to start. I want you to go there tomorrow and ask the staff about any stowaways or anything they might’ve noticed. It’s also an extremely  small town so if you see any new faces I want to know about it.”

He swallowed loudly, a knot still lodged in his throat. “Is there anything else I should be looking for?”

Gabe picked up the tablet, sliding to a different screen. “I’ll email you anymore details, they want results soon or else we might miss out on this chance.” He paused, swiping left before setting it back down. “And here’s the photos, one Hanzo and Genji Shimada, the heirs to the infamous Shimada Clan. Not a lot of Japanese people around here so they should stick out like sore thumbs.”

McCree never thought that looking at his face could make him sick to his stomach. His face felt numb, not believing what was happening. “S-so are they wanted dead or alive?” He managed to stutter out.

Reyes sneered. “Alive. But it’s alright if you have to scuff them up a little bit, they are trained assassins so don’t think it’ll be easy.” He glanced at the time, shaking his head. “I’ve got to meet up with Morrison in a bit, so just read the damn email sometime okay? Go get some sleep kid, you’ve got a long day tomorrow.”

“Yeah.” He stated as Gabe walked off leaving him sitting in the room alone. He was still in shock, not sure what to say or do. He hoped he would wake up and that this was all a bad dream, that Hanzo wasn’t the man in the picture, wasn’t the Shimada but when he pulled up the photo it still held true. It was a family photograph, Genji grinning ear to ear standing to who must be their father, a severe looking man. Hanzo however frowned, his eyes not soft but dark and dangerous his hand on his mother’s shoulder. He pulled down the picture, not sure whether to laugh or cry. 

He went to bed numb, a cold creeping up from his feet through his stomach and settling in his chest. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> School has started and swamped me so idk when the next chapter will be out [hopefully next weekend that is my goal] but thanks for sticking around! Sorry if there's any mistakes, I edited this past midnight >.>


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okie okie new chapter folks! warnings that i'll add to the tags include mention of abuse, racial/homophobic slurs, and some violence! this is rated mature but tbh i dont understand the rating system very well so be aware!

 

The warehouse floor was cold against his bare feet, his hands tightened into fists balled up on his legs. Hanzo’s breaths were shallow, only wearing a cheap pair of sweatpants and a black shirt he tried to listen to the dragon’s who were rumbling and restless barely under the surface. He had come close to summoning them this week, a sign of progress against whatever misgiving he had done to them. They were always present, overlooming figures that he felt under his skin, ready to devour, to judge. Hanzo yearned to speak with them, to hear their advice, to seek some solace with the doubt he periodically felt. Never had he felt so alone with leaving his home, his parents, his future, never did he need them so much with their ancient wisdom. Still they were silent, merely hungry and growling. 

_ Please.  _ He pleaded, blue electricity numbing his nerves to the cold.  _ Here my call.  _

He waited, mediating for a few hours in the early morning ever vigilant. Again he had woken up before the sunrise for them, and again his requests went unanswered. Disappointment and frustration tore into him, but he was not surprised. The dragons demanded blood and he had turned his back to that part of his life. His jaw tightened, wanting to order them to listen, to will the beasts from their lazy state. It would be fruitless, he knew better than most that a dragon was neither owned nor tamed. Stubborn beasts, Genji often drew comparisons with Hanzo and his dragons much to his annoyance. He was starting to believe him, as the blue haze in his mind began to clear. They would come around eventually, as they were a vital part of him so was he to them. Where they ended, he began and vice versa, a continuous circle that began when the dragons fell to the earth and became man. A Shimada was a dragon, and he was their heir. Their lost, confused heir.

He must have fallen asleep waiting for an answer when he woke up from a light shove to his shoulder. Hanzo sprung up frantically, only to see his brother with a concerned expression. Genji rose his hands up, Hanzo already having his pocket knife in hand. 

“Yo, it’s just me you were sleep-sitting again.” He leaned against a support, folding his arms across his chest. “Still no luck?”

“Yeah,” Hanzo shivered while rubbing his eyes. “But I’m getting closer. I can feel them actively ignore me now.”

Genji let out a snort. “Ha! Well that’s something.” He nudged his shoulder with this. “Don’t sweat it, they’ll come around. Mine wouldn’t talk to me for the first week after we left, man that was stressful.” 

Hanzo grunted unhappily. “I don’t even know the date anymore, but it’s been far too long. Months perhaps.” 

Genji seemed to catch on to his mistake, giving him a reassuring pat on the back. “All in due time brother, most good things come with it.” He withdrew his hand and rubbed it, making a face. “You’re freezing, shouldn’t you get dressed? It is very cloudy outside and Julia said it might snow today.” He tilted his head in thought. “I hope it does.”

Irritation bit at him, no doubt due to the soreness in his legs from falling asleep mediating. “No you don’t.” He yawned, stretching his arms over his head. “If it snows we’ll freeze.”

“We’re already freezing,” Genji stuck out his tongue as he handed Hanzo his hoodie. “At least snow would be  _ fun _ . We can be like that old Disney movie and build a snowman or something.”

Hanzo scoffed, slipping on his socks and Jesse’s jacket. His joints popped from the stiffness as he stretched out his legs. “Didn’t you have enough fun last night? I don’t even remember when you got home.”

That was enough to get a telling blush out of his brother. “Haha, well I wanted to give you some alone time with Jesse.” He tightened the strings on his hoodie, the hood collapsing around his face comically. “Nothing else.”

“I’m sure. How considerate of you.” Hanzo grinned, knowing how promiscuous his brother was. He hoped that he at least left on good terms with the girl. 

“So how’d it go last night for you?” Genji wiggled his eyebrows trying to embarrass him and to switch the subject. He supposed he’d let it slide. “Did you get to see all of his Texas or what.”

“I don’t even want to know what that means.” He threw a crumpled up granola wrapper at his head. He bit into the dry bar, noticing that it was their last one. He wasn’t especially fond of them, but it was nice to have a steady breakfast; he mused that he’d probably have to steal another box later. “But if you must know I kissed him. That’s as far as it went.” As a claim to innocence he rose his hands. “No Texas seeing.”

“Oooooh.” Genji gushed, ignoring the wrapper that bounced off his head. “Hanzo has a boooyfriend.” He smiled, poking his side. 

Hanzo waved him off. “It’s not so dramatic, I mean you’re seeing a girl.” He muttered under his breath. “I mean I doubt it’ll be for long.” Genji was notorious as a serial heart breaker back in Hanamura. The few places they stayed long enough for him to catch the eye of a girl had continued that trend. 

“Hey!” Genji dramatically frowned, bending his mouth in a way that couldn’t be comfortable. “I’ll have you know--”  he was interrupted with a loud knocking on the door that had them both shut up. The only person that ever visited was Jesse, and it was way too early in the morning for that. McCree was not a morning person. 

They exchanged glances, with another loud knock rapping through the door. Genji moved towards the back, where he kept his sword, with Hanzo approaching to answer.They had rehearsed what to do in case more bounty hunters, or worse their father’s assassins ever found them. Genji would get the drop on them where Hanzo would keep them distracted until then. It wasn’t the strongest of plans, but it was something, better than being unprepared altogether. He kept his hand in his pocket, gripping the switch blade. He held his breath preparing for the worst as he turned the handle, but to his relief it was just what smelled like a drunk Jesse. He looked up at him with the largest sad brown eyes he’d seen in awhile. 

“Jesse?” His voice was mixed with confusion and concern. Sunken dark bags were under his eyes, making his face appear more gaunt. He looked older, weary. 

McCree shook his head, coughing. “Sorry for popping in so early, I just couldn’t sleep and I wanted to see you and--”

He shushed him, taking his hand. “Come inside you’re letting the cold in.” Jesse reeked of smoke and whiskey. “Are you okay?” He glanced over to Genji who was already sheathing his blade and nodded. 

“I-I mean,” McCree gazed at his hands clenching them. “I think I might of drank too damn much.” He shook his head again letting Hanzo lead him to his makeshift bed. “Jesus I got this buzzing in my brain and I..I don’t know.” Hanzo set him down, wrapping the blanket around his shoulders. He was drunk, tired, and obviously upset. The only thing he imagined could help would be a nap, and when he was less shaken they could talk. There had to be an explanation to this. 

Genji appeared holding some of his sheets, dropping them on McCree. “Hey cowman I think you should catch a couple z’s, you’re not looking so hot.” Jesse didn’t seem to mind the blankets covering his head, hiccuping lightly.

“Oh hey Genji.” He said absent mindedly.The lump of blankets fell over with a thud causing Hanzo to wince. “I think you’re onto something.”

Hanzo gave the lump that made up his boyfriend a pat, before looking to his brother. “I’d hate to ask you but could you go see if you can get some coffee from the diner? Something that might help sober him up.”

Genji gave McCree a pitiful gaze, nodding. “Yeah let him sleep some it off, and I’ll go fetch us lunch while I’m out.” He paused while pulling on his shoes. “You guys probably need to talk to, so I’ll take my time.”

He was always the more considerate one. He bowed his head gratefully. “Thank you.” 

Genji shut the door quietly behind himself, leaving the two alone. Hanzo was confused, he’d even be mad if Jesse didn’t sound so pitiful as he sneezed under the covers, his head poking out red-nosed. 

Hanzo stood up snatching up his hat and placed it next to the sleeping mat. He could give the dragons another go while McCree slept, he had no other plans for the day other than go steal more granola bars. It was too cold to go try to scavenge from the school, and anyways classes were back in session. It’d be a lot harder to go during the day. He sighed stroking his hair. That also meant it’d be a while til he could safely take a shower, which he despised. 

Before he could get very far he heard McCree whine. “What is it?” he sat back by his side, wiping dark locks off of his face. Jesse had no right to show up like this, but after last night he couldn’t find enough fight in him to be angry. Even in his drunken state, he leaned into Hanzo’s touch as he stroked his cheek with his thumb. He was maddeningly sweet. Sweeter than Hanzo deserved. 

“Cold,” he stated with his eyes still shut. He had three layers of blankets on him not to mention he had his clothes on and was on top of a sleeping mat. He even had his boots on, much to the dismay of Hanzo who shuddered at the thought of all the grime that was getting on his sheets. Air drying in this weather was hell, and he had just washed them this week. 

“You have all the covers we can give you,” it was irrational to think McCree cared about logic in his stupor, but his voice was so hoarse and small he couldn’t help but smile. Ridiculous man. 

“Cold,” he repeated sticking out a gloved hand to fish for Hanzo’s, taking it into a loose grip. 

“Well you have a warm bed at home, but you decided to come here,” his finger tips played with his scalp earning him a happy noise from Jesse. “So it’s your fault.”

He opened his eyes at that, frowning. “I’m sorry sugar,” he sounded close to tears, “I’m so, so sorry.”

“McCree please,” he continued to massage his head in the hopes he would fall asleep. “You are drunk, you know little of what you’re talking about. Just sleep, it’ll be better after that.”

“I can’t,” his voice darkened, with him looking up eyes unfocused. 

“Why is that?” McCree’s hand squeezed his harshly, edging on painful.

“Cold.” He said again, his voice only above a whisper.

With a heavy sigh, Hanzo lifted the covers that made all of Jesse shiver. He looked up at him, betrayed and mouth agape. Hanzo couldn’t help but chuckle and pat his speckled face. “Move, I’m cold too.” Jesse scooted over enough for Hanzo to slip under the sheets with him, curling up to his side. He figured a little sleep wouldn’t hurt him and it was a way to fix his ‘cold’ problem. The dragons could wait. 

“O-oh you don’t gotta,” Jesse mumbled, going stiff against him. 

“Shh,” Hanzo hushed him, wrapping an arm around his torso before shutting his eyes. “Go to sleep.” Jesse was a solid presence, he liked the way it felt to hold him.

He didn’t get a vocal response, but McCree relaxed under his touch which was enough confirmation for Hanzo. It was nice, to have the extra sheets along with another body to keep him warm. Too many nights as of late he’d lay and stare at the ceiling waiting for fatigue to get to him, fighting the cold and worries that kept him awake. Jesse was like a furnace, Hanzo pressed himself closer to try to be encompassed by the heat. For the first time in a while, he found himself slipping into an easy nap engulfed in the scents of whiskey and smoke. 

He woke up first, eyes blearily as he took a few moments remembering where he was. He’d thought after months on the road he’d be used to this but when he didn’t see the comforts of his room in Hanamura he always started the day off confused. He felt a heavy weight on his chest only to discover Jesse’s head there, drooling softly onto his hoodie. He flushed at the sight, running his hands through his hair though lightly enough to not wake him. McCree’s arms were wrapped around his waist, his legs tangled about. There was a boot resting on his calf that was rather uncomfortable, but he was too conscious about moving to do anything about it. He was adorable sleeping, snoring ever so quietly. The rise and fall of his breathing was surprisingly calming, almost enough to lull Hanzo back into sleep. Lazily, he gave an affectionate kiss to the top of his head, taking note of the freckles that adorned his face. Little dark flecks scattered across his tawny skin; they reminded him of constellations from last night. Hanzo had never thought a man could be this beautiful. He hoped he was okay. 

“Mhmm,” he heard Jesse rumble, nestling his head onto his chest. 

“Better?” Hanzo asked, still playing with his hair. He wondered how McCree would react but he’d bet at the very least it’d be amusing. 

With a sudden jolt, McCree kicked up with his boots causing Hanzo to yelp. He looked panicked, reaching around until he got his hat leaving a rather unhappy dragon in bed. 

“Ow,” he pouted, laying back down with the sheets trying to hide his disappointment with the lack of warmth on his chest. 

It took a few moments for Jesse to register what was going on, he glanced around the warehouse a few times. He looked down at himself then to Hanzo before groaning, hands reaching his temples. “Jesus fuck what did I do.”

“You showed up drunk and then went to sleep in my bed,” Hanzo stated mildly. “You kept complaining you were cold so I slept next to you. Then you kicked me.”

He sat back next to him apologetically. “I..what. Shit.” He messed with his hands nervously. “I’m real sorry babe I didn’t know.” He took a deep breath, his body trembling. “Fucking hell I’m already messing up.”

Hanzo sat up, taking one on his hands. “You’re fine.  _ We’re  _ fine. Just tell me what is going on.” Jesse was never one to be so skittish, but then again he had never seen him drunk before. Still, this seemed wildly out of character.

McCree sobered with a nod. “I..I do owe you an explanation. Do you have any painkillers though? My head is killing me.”

Hanzo got up and reached into his pack. “I’m guessing the meeting didn’t go well? I assume that after you get a boyfriend you don’t show up to his place drunk and rambling the day after.”

McCree took the pills dry, “Jesus I’m sorry about this, you’re taking this so well, too well.” He leaned over and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. “Thanks. You’re an actual angel, but yeah..it didn’t go good at all.”

“Did you even sleep last night?” 

He shook his head drowsily. 

Hanzo sat back down and patted the spot next to him with Jesse easily following. “Lay down and talk to me,” Jesse groaned, laying his head on Hanzo’s lap. He took the opportunity to run his hands back into his soft hair, massaging the scalp.

“How are you even real?” He practically purred. “So good to me for no reason.”

Hanzo stopped his hands which made Jesse pout. “I care about you.” He poked his forehead gently. “So tell me what happened at the meeting.”

McCree reached up lacing his fingers with one of his hands. “Thanks Hanzo,” he was taken off guard by his sincerity. He was always surprised with how heartfelt the man was.“I guess it’s about time I told you the truth about my job.”

“Only because it’s sending you to my doorstep drunk and upset.” Hanzo wasn’t one to pry but he felt comfortable with McCree. More comfortable than he should for a man he knew so little about, but the circumstances seemed to be changing on that front. 

He nodded and closed his eyes. “I..I trust you.” He took a deep breath with Hanzo stroking a few stray strands away from his eyes. “I work for Blackwatch.” He paused, looking up gauging for a response.

Hanzo only shrugged. “I have no idea what that is.” He figured it was an organization’s name but it was never something on the Shimada Clan’s radar, or at least never shared with him. “Is it like Overwatch?” He had heard of the group of heroes, something that was never quite on his family’s mind but also a potential threat. It always had sounded exciting to him though, a group of good doers with a range of talents and abilities. Overwatch had sounded like a children’s story book, but the good type. The kind where the knight slew the dragon and saved the princess.  

“Mhm,” he squeezed his hand. “But...it’s kind of like the other side to it. We deal with problems like an interrogation, good cop and bad cop. Blackwatch is.. the bad cop.”

Hanzo was silent, not quite sure to make of it all. He did not see McCree working for an organization related to Overwatch but he wasn’t surprised that he would jump from gang life to immoral covert ops. He stroked the side of his face with his thumb. “Okay.” He accepted this, he could accept this part of Jesse. He had a million questions about Blackwatch but he needed to let McCree speak his part first. Pressing him for details in this state would be cruel. 

“Yeah..,” he swallowed loudly, his adam’s apple bobbing. “We’re..we’re staked out here for an illegal trafficking gig. Guns, drugs, y’know.” Dark eyes gazed up at Hanzo uncertainly. Hanzo smiled and gave him a reassuring pat. “And..and.” He opened and closed his mouth several times, no words coming out. He groaned, burying his face into his lap. 

“Working for something like that must be very stressful,” Hanzo said soothingly, doing his best to be patient. He tried to think of his mother, who was always poised even when he used to go to her with his troubles. She was stern and severe like a rock; he hoped he could pool strength from that part of his bloodline. “But why would an illegal circuit be in Oklahoma? How odd.”

Jesse’s laugh was muffled. “Yeah, this place got a shit ton of highways and train stations so it’s a fairly good spot for transport.” They sat in silence for a while, Hanzo continuing to mess with his hair waiting for more. Something was still eating at Jesse’s mind, but he wasn’t sure if he’d share it. “My boss just gave me a shitty job is all. I don’t want to do it.”

“Why not?” Hanzo asked immediately, desperate to get to the root of the issue.

He bit his lower lip, eyebrows furrowed. “It’s..it’s just something that doesn’t feel right. Like something you’d expect from a gang.” He let out a heavy sigh. “I owe him my life though, I’d still be on the streets if not for my boss, but a man has to have a line right?” 

“It depends on what results it would get you I suppose.” Hanzo gazed up in thought. “What is right and what is necessary are rarely the same thing in that line of work.”

“Sounds like you might know something about that,” McCree shot him a wary glance. 

He poked his forehead with his index finger. “I’ll tell you more if you tell me what is upsetting you still.” It was childish to play this game of questions, but it was working. He wanted to be honest to Jesse as well, it would be nice to tell someone the truth after so long on the run. 

McCree groaned, stretching out his legs. “Baby you know I can’t tell you the details. Hell, they’ll probably kill me if they found out I told you that Blackwatch exists anyways.” He huffed. “I suppose I got upset and then I got drunk. Then the first thing that came to mind was to go to you.” Jesse gave him a half smirk. 

Hanzo was not sure if that statement was more sweet or sad. He never thought someone as charming as McCree could be that lonely, but a life on the road was bound to end up as so. They had only known each other for a few weeks and already Jesse was drawn to him. Hanzo was scared that he felt the same way, not sure if that was something he should do.  _ Just enjoy yourself. _ He constantly tried to remind himself of Genji’s advice, to not be bound by rules from an authority he no longer abided by. He leaned down to give McCree a quick peck on the lips. “Well since we’re being honest I do know a thing or two of criminal life.” He peppered a few more kisses on his face, enjoying the giggles Jesse made. “Maybe I’ll tell you about it.”

“Okay,” he said breathlessly grabbing the back of Hanzo’s head to pull him in for a deeper kiss. He sat up, adjusting himself to straddle Hanzo’s lap moving his mouth to his neck. 

“Jesse,” Hanzo gasped with a laugh. “I’m ticklish, be careful.” He was taken back by his sudden boldness, but he wasn’t complaining. 

Jesse sucked on his throat, his lips leaving with a pop. Dark eyes glimmered back at him. “Interesting. Makes a fella wonder where else your sensitive.” He went back to marking his neck, pulling at his hoodie to expose more skin. McCree’s legs hooked around his back and pressed them closer with Hanzo trying to compose himself though he couldn’t help but chuckle. 

“Jesse, Genji could come back at any moment.” He didn’t know the time they went to sleep, nor the time it was now. He bucked up with an undignified moan as Jesse palmed his groin. 

McCree wore the most shit-eating grin. “He ain’t here darlin,” he ground his hips against Hanzo teasingly slow. “Just you and me.”

Hanzo’s face warmed as he wrapped an arm around Jesse’s shoulder to balance himself. “I don’t think I’ll ever understand you. Started the day drunk, near tears, then you told me how you could die for telling me about Blackwatch, and now you’re-- _ fuck _ ,” Jesse had wormed a hand under his shirt and was rubbing and pinching his pectorals roughly. 

“I’m a young man with a dangerous job, you honestly can’t be surprised that I’m a little horny.”

Hanzo grabbed his chin to drag him into a kiss. “I would hardly call this a ‘little’.” He smiled into his shoulder, rubbing up and down his back. “You’re lucky you’re cute.”

“Been told that more than once,” he smirked sitting back and pushing Hanzo onto his back. His hand was snaking around his waistband teasingly. “You’re the one who let me into your bed if I recall anyways.”

Hanzo laughed from McCree touching the sensitive skin on his stomach experimentally. “So you’re okay? That was the point of this talk originally.”

He leaned his head over planting a kiss on Hanzo’s lower stomach. “Yeah I’m okay.” His tongue darted around his happy trail dangerously. “Might be better in a little bit.”

“You talk too much” Hanzo pressed his foot into Jesse’s inner thigh, clipping near his groin. McCree let out a small growl, his eyes hooded as he climbed on top of him.

Before Jesse had a chance to respond, they both heard Genji clear his throat. Hanzo didn’t know how or when he had arrived, but here he was standing before them with a drink tray and a paper bag in hand. Hanzo sprung up, straightening out his clothes and crossing his legs sheepishly. McCree managed to sit up and rubbed the back of his neck, still wearing a goofy smile.

“Howdy.” The cowboy said in a strained voice.

“Am I..interrupting something uh…”Genji narrowed his eyes at McCree, wearing a small frown. 

“No, you are fine,” Hanzo stated quickly, his face red and hot. He wanted to kick himself for letting McCree get him so worked up when he just  _ knew _ this would happen. 

Genji merely set down the cup tray and bag, before backing out with his hands up. “I don’t wanna know, I don’t wanna see.” Hanzo saw his shadow behind the sheet pause and turn back. “You guys..uh didn’t fuck up my blanket did you?” 

Jesse groaned, with Hanzo’s hand raising to his temples. “No, Genji..nothing..nothing happened.” He snatched the sheet harshly, and rose his arm offering it to him.

“Yeah, that’s why you're both panting and,” He gestured towards them, “and y’know ugh gross.” He narrowed his eyes as he scanned the fabric, nodding in approval before folding it over his arm. “I’ll be on the other side of the sheet, please don’t fuck or anything.”

Hanzo covered his face with his hands, utterly embarrassed. McCree laughed next to him which earned him a swat to the chest. 

“Are you happy now?” Hanzo snapped, still mortified that Genji caught them in such a compromising position. Sure he had found Genji in worst situations, but that was almost expected by the playboy, not Hanzo.

“I mean it’s kinda funny,” he hastily continued when Hanzo scowled. “I would be happier if he was like fifteen minutes late, but hey.” He stood up, offering his hand. “Let’s go out and give him some space.”

Hanzo took his hand, sighing. “I suppose some fresh air would help clear both our minds.” He put on his shoes quickly, grabbing a coffee and a sandwich before looking past the sheet. Genji looked tired, he was sitting up but it was obvious he was struggling to stay awake. 

“We’re heading out, feel free to use the extra blankets if you want to nap.” Hanzo’s expression softened from the light nod Genji gave in return. “Thank you for lunch,” he added before they went out the door, a cold gush of wind nearly knocking the air out of him. Even after what must be a month here, Hanzo would never get used to how windy Oklahoma was. He wondered why people settled the area in the first place. 

“Well would you look at that,” McCree pointed towards the sky, smothered in what appeared to be a single continuous white cloud. Small pale specks fell slowly with a few falling on Hanzo’s nose. 

It was cold and wet. “Snow,” he stated reaching his hand out to catch a few more snowflakes. 

Jesse’s laugh was warm and rich like honey. “Fuck me, I can’t believe I drove drunk in the midst of a potential blizzard.”

Hanzo shot him a berating look. “Consider yourself lucky. And promise me you’ll never do that again.”

McCree nodded, though grinning. “Anything for you. If you promise to take better care of yourself.” He wrapped his arms around his waist from behind him, kissing his hair.

“I do take care of myself,” Hanzo rolled his eyes although he allowed Jesse to mess with his ponytail. 

“Mm I don’t know about that,” his hands tightened around his chest. “You’ve dropped some weight since we met, and you could carry your bow around in those bags under your eyes.” He held him close to his body, simply standing in front of the warehouse watching the snow. Hanzo couldn’t help but think it was terribly romantic. His voice was quiet. “I want you to be okay.”

Hanzo leaned back against him, trying to ignore the cold and to enjoy his company. “That path goes both ways. You’re the one with an overly risky lifestyle, and most likely in more danger here than I am.” He felt Jesse stiffen behind him. “I’m sure the men my father sent won’t ever think to check this small part of America. What’d you call this place, No Man’s Land?”

The words sounded like they were stuck in Jesse’s throat. “Y-yeah.” He buried his face into his hair, placing a shaky kiss on his head.“Tell me more about these men.”

Hanzo paused, observing the snow begin to cover the concrete floor. He wondered how long it’d take for the snow to bury them if they stood still for the rest of the day. The cold pushed a few shallow breaths from his lungs. Hanzo came to terms that he trusted Jesse. That he could trust him. “You know we come from a wealthy family, but it goes further than that. They are….,” he didn’t quite know how to soften what his family was, so he didn’t. He liked things blunt, direct. It didn’t waste anyone’s time. “They are in control of a criminal empire. It encompasses everything from illegal weapons, substances, and assassinations.” He swallowed, “So most likely he has sent assassins to find us, but we’ve already encountered bounty hunters that I’m not familiar with. Every new face I see could be someone here to take us away, or not.” His tone darkened, the snow gathering on his jacket. “They..they won’t stop til they find us, our father would burn the world to search for us under the ashes. He is a controlling and strict man.” Jesse’s grip tightened. “Cruel.”

“Why did you leave?” His voice was hoarse, with a sense of urgency. “Did..did they hurt you? Genji?” 

“Yes,” he stated rather coldly, the night they left vivid in his mind. A smiling boy then turns frowning and bloodied, green hair unruly and face bruised. Hanzo was used to it, he was the eldest son, the one that was to rule the Shimada clan when his father passed. Beatings were not something he wasn’t accustomed to, a punishment for when he fell short from where he was supposed to be. It was his burden, his burden alone that Hanzo had accepted it, had accepted that it was necessary for him to become the man that could oversee the Clan’s operations. But something in him had snapped that night when it happened to Genji. Their father  _ loved  _ Genji more than anything in the world, he would never lay a hand on him. That was the blessing of a second son, one that he didn’t have to mold, to darken and prepare for the job. There was always bound to be an amount of resentment and competitiveness between the passing of rulership, but that wasn’t the case with Genji. He was free to love and cherish him, he had spoiled Genji rotten which irritated about everyone in the Clan except for immediate family. Ever since he was born, their father doted on the boy, treasuring him above what Hanzo could possibly hope for. Hanzo had never asked Genji why their father broke that day, why he had harmed the one thing he was allowed to love unconditionally. Whatever the reason was, he didn’t care.He had been too slow, too weak and Genji was the one who ended up hurt. He too loved his brother and would never let their father have him again.  He would let them die first. 

“Do you wanna talk about it?” There he was, being too sweet and too caring for someone like Hanzo again. He doubted he’d ever understand what he saw in him. 

“No.” He wanted to let it stay in the past, to die in the past. It was foolish to believe that he could ever forget, but voicing it into words would be too much for him now.

His breath shuddered, Jesse kissing his hair fiercely. “I’m sorry.” His voice hinted at desperation that he didn’t understand. “I’m so sorry darlin.” 

Hanzo turned to him, placing his lips to his jaw. Perhaps he was still shaken from this morning, but he didn’t know why McCree was unraveling.“You have nothing to be sorry for. For once in my life I am free, but it took meeting you in order for me to  _ feel _ free. I can never thank you enough for that Jesse.” He took his hand in a loose grip, a warmth circled in his chest. “I want to go on a walk before we become part of a snow drift.”

Jesse smiled down at him, big brown sad eyes that knew how to tug on Hanzo’s heart strings. He kicked himself for melting at that gaze. “Alright.”

They walked hand in hand in silence for a bit, the snow getting stuck in his hair. He was cold, still fairly tired and honestly he was always a little hungry. Hanzo didn’t put much mind into it, he practiced with his bow and managed to stay in shape but he did notice his clothes hung looser. It would be a challenge to stay in the condition he was in at Hanamura, where he was under a strict diet and workout regime. McCree worried about him, a feeling he wasn’t all that used to receiving. Throughout his life he was pressed to his limits, to do better, to be better. To accomplish what very few could even dream of, never did he stop to think that perhaps they were asking too much from him. He was so used to pouring out more and more of himself into his work, his training, his life that he had failed to see he was near empty. It had taken a certain cowboy to notice first.

“Are you angry?” McCree broke the silence, tilting his head. “I know I’d be mad as hell if I were you.”

Anger? Hanzo wasn’t sure if that was what he felt. Remorse, guilt, and overwhelming anxiety were all factors to it all but he wasn’t sure if anger did it justice. The feeling boiled under his skin, not clear cut or simple as rage but something more muddled. The dragons stirred the more he dipped into the strange feeling, not sure if he was sickened or inflamed by it.

“I do not know,” he said quietly. He hated that he never knew, uncertainty bit at him worse than the frost.

Jesse watched him for a moment, tip toeing around the icy sidewalk. “I hear it ain’t healthy for a fella to keep everything bottled up.” 

Hanzo walked across adjusting his footing. “Are you sure you’re one to talk? Mr.-I-have-an-extremely-classified-job.”

He laughed, “Well you have a point, but I usually drink to unwind. And I know, I know that ain’t good for me either but I get the feeling that you’re just internalizing all of that shit.”

“And if I am?” He laced his fingers around McCree’s tighter, trying to pull any warmth he could get from his gloves.

He tugged Hanzo close, causing him to slide across a slick spot. “I just want you to know you’re an amazing man. Selfless, hardworking, I still can’t wrap my mind around that you’re real.”

Hanzo hit his head against his shoulder. “You are just saying that because you like me.” He blushed, embarrassed that his compliments always ended up with him red. Even with the brief periods Hanzo had actually dated, no one had spoken to him with such sincerity. 

“And that you’re  _ kinda _ modest except when it comes to aim. And you’re the most beautiful, dangerous person I know.” He continued, giving a quick smooch to his forehead. “You need to know whatever happened wasn’t your fault and we can’t control what others do. We just learn to live with the consequences.” He rested his chin on top of his head. “It isn’t fair.”

“It never is.” Fairness was never something emphasized in Hanzo’s life. There was honor, clan, and kin but he was always taught that he needed to win, no matter the cost. There was nothing fair about it.

 

Hanzo pressed his face to his chest, his heartbeat a steady constant. He smelled of stale smoke and coffee, his coat damp from the snow. He was positive they were both freezing, but he’d admit he felt starved for physical affection and McCree seemed more than happy to hold him. The sensation of having someone so close was nice, he could close his eyes and pretend that everything in his life was alright. That he wasn’t living off stolen food and clothes, freezing away in an old abandoned warehouse. That he wasn’t torn between tradition and the present, that the dragons wouldn’t speak to him when he had never been more vulnerable. That he hadn’t fallen so far from the proud man he was less than a year ago. Wrapped in Jesse’s arms he could just be Hanzo, not the dragon, or the heir, just himself. 

His eyes opened when he heard an unfamiliar voice. Three young men stood before them on the isolated road, their faces distorted in what appeared to be disgust.

“The fuck is this shit,” one of them sneered, his face was red as his hair that stuck out of a baseball cap. 

Jesse was the first to respond, quietly placing himself between the group and Hanzo. “The fuck it looks like?” His tone was low and rough. 

The pace of his heart began to pick up when the redhead looked at his friends with a sickening grin. “Looks like a bunch of fairies are on  _ our  _ streets. Not quite sure how we feel ‘bout that.” He smiled again, his teeth yellow with a few missing. Hanzo couldn’t suppress an audible huff of disgust. 

The biggest one wore a black beanie and had a face that could only be described as a fat pale rat. He snorted. “Hey watch your bitches manners, we’re trying to talk all  politely here.” The third one wore a black bandana over his face and laughed at that. Hanzo failed to see what was funny.

“I would watch your tongue if you wish to keep it,” Hanzo hissed, already balling up his fists. The dragons curled in his stomach, awakening a desire that he had tried to suppress. He wanted to hurt these men, he neither liked nor appreciated how they looked at Jesse or at himself. It was insulting. 

The three bellowed louder, the redhead speaking as held his ribs. “Hey lookie there, Jesse found himself a chinaman to fuck. He got his papers on him, or he just another illegal? I hear ya ma was one.”

That seemed to especially aggravate Jesse. “Look, we’re gonna keep walking that way and ya’ll keep going the other way and no one has to get fucking hurt.” His hand went up to his hip where he typically kept his gun holstered although it wasn’t there. He was bluffing stone faced, something about his posture radiated danger.

“Oh no need to get all worked up boy,” the rat man grinned. “We’re just out here collecting some donations for..uh what are we taking donations for again?”

The bandana one shrugged. “I don’t know, for some important shit or another.” His eyes were a glaring blue, Hanzo found them unsettling. “But we’ll just take all the money on you two alright? Then you can take your mouthy chink and fuck off.”

Time seemed to slow down on the icy road, Jesse’s hand still at his side and Hanzo behind him. The other three had their hands buried in their pockets, waiting expectantly as if they were actually going to give them their money, or give them anything. Not like either of them had any cash.

“How distressing,” Hanzo spat out, only raising the tension. He spoke low, his voice demanding authority. “Three vulgar cowards stand in my way.”

“Honey let me--” Jesse tried to interrupt him but Hanzo continued, his blood boiling. He would not let them be insulted by the embodiments of every negative southern stereotype. Not unpunished at least. 

“Yet none of them have the spirit to do anything other than talk.” He brazenly stepped past Jesse, glaring down the redhead in front. “Talk is cheap and my time is too expensive for craven, disgusting, ignorant fools that do not understand that they should not play with fire lest they get burned.”

That was enough to provoke the redhead to swing towards his face, Hanzo easily moved out of the way, his opponent was slow and predictable. The man with the bandana flipped out a switchblade followed by Jesse nearly throwing himself at him. Hanzo’s attention immediately was brought back to the redhead, who swung for his head again, this time with Hanzo catching his arm and twisting it painfully. He let out a yelp, having his large rat friend come behind Hanzo and grabbing him roughly. 

Hanzo let go of his arm, reaching into his pocket for his knife that he drove into the bone of the large man’s forearm. He groaned in pain, loosening his grip enough that Hanzo could escape and worm his way behind him. With a swift kick on the back of his knee, he fell down still clutching his arm the blood marking the new snow red. Hanzo pushed him over, punching his ugly rat face hearing his fists crunch against his nose. Hanzo couldn’t hide a grin that spread across his face, he could feel the dragons race within him, from the back of his throat through his fist. His moment of triumph was interrupted when he heard a sudden thud, pain shooting up his back. 

He had to give it to the redhead, he had stamina. With one arm dislocated, he had managed to break a small wooden plank over him, no doubt leaving a bruise. Unluckily for him, Hanzo had been through much, much worse. 

“What the fuck,” he whimpered, out of breath. Hanzo turned to him, the dragons excitedly moving under his skin, egging him on. Wordless, he grabbed him by his hurt arm, throwing him hard against the ice. 

Anger? Hanzo knew what anger felt like, the burning in his chest, the warmth of the blood on his hands. He had tried to keep it dormant, to keep the hate from flowing into his fists into the face of this very unfortunate, idiotic man. But he was the dragon, the heir to the Shimada Clan. This was always going to be a part of him, the part that hunted and scorned those unworthy to live, unworthy to breathe. He couldn’t escape it, the way the dragons glided and clouded his mind, instinct taking over. Hanzo didn’t realize how far he was going until he felt familiar warm hands grabbing him around the chest, pulling him back.

“Hanzo, fuck,” Jesse was breathless, his touch snapping Hanzo back to reality. 

He looked down, the redheads face, swollen and bruised gasping up for air. Blood and scattered teeth littered the ice, his cold hands suddenly hurting. He glanced behind him, the bandana man was rubbing his head in pain, with what appeared to be a few broken fingers but conscious. Better off than the other two. 

McCree glared at the man. “You should get your shitty friends to a hospital or something, but we’re leaving.” He rubbed at the knots in Hanzo’s shoulders. “And I don't’ gotta tell ya what happens if you snitch.” 

The man nodded quickly, his eyes teary. He looked petrified, Hanzo thought tiredly. Good, a man like that should fear him, fear what a dragon could do. McCree’s hand was on his arm and dragging him away, his mind still muddled. 

“Are you okay?” Hanzo asked, remembering the knife. He pulled away from Jesse’s grip analyzing his body. Other than a bruise on the cheek he seemed fine, which left him sighing in relief. Of course Jesse could handle himself.

“Yeah yeah I’m fine,” he nervously stroked up and down Hanzo’s arm. “Babe wow, you.” He stopped, drawing him in for a hug. “Are you okay?”

“I got hit in the back but I should be fine,” He wasn’t in the form he was when he left Hanamura but he was more than capable enough to take care of a couple of nobodies. His brow furrowed in thought.“They said your name, did you know them?”

“It’s a small town everyone eventually learns everyone’s name,” he glanced down at his hands frowning. “You’re shaking.” He leaned down kissing the bruised knuckles softly. 

“It’s cold,” Hanzo stated, although he wasn’t sure why he was shivering so badly. The snow continued to fall, light flurries dancing around their feet. Adrenaline still pumped through his veins, he hadn’t had a fight since he got to Goodwell. Although he wouldn't consider that a true fight, there was no challenge. 

Jesse held him close for a moment. “Sorry ya finally got to see the downsides to little towns. Some people are assholes.”

Hanzo scoffed, rubbing around the bruise on Jesse’s face. It was beginning to darken, an unsavory blue. “People are generally hostile to things they don’t understand. Though I doubt they will bother us anymore.”

“Not after that beating you gave them,” McCree started walking again, his boots leaving deep prints into the snow.

Hanzo shook his head ashamed. He had lost control, just a hairline away from killing one of those men. He couldn’t afford a police investigation in such a small town where two Japanese runaways happened to appear. He needed to think about Genji. 

“I apologize, I took it too far.” He flexed his hands, the coldness and soreness fading into an uncomfortable numb. 

He nodded, “Yeah a little bit. Not gonna lie I didn’t know you could hit that hard.” He laughed lightheartedly. “It was kinda hot but next time just lemme talk. Remember I’m stupidly charming?”

Hanzo scoffed, smiling slightly. “Of course, charm your way past the racist homophobes. I’m sure that’ll go well for you.”

McCree bumped shoulders with him playfully. “What? You don’t think they’d listen to a half-Mexican guy hanging out with his boyfriend? Hey, and if it doesn’t work I know you’ll just beat the shit out of them.”

“Lucky you,” Hanzo chuckled, feeling the haze of the fight finally pass. He took a deep breath, feeling a heaviness in his lungs. He grabbed a cigarette from McCree’s pocket, holding it between his teeth.

“Lucky me,” Jesse lit it for him before taking one out for himself. His eyes wandered down the road before giving an affirming nod. “Yeah, I’m buying you some goddamn gloves.”

“You don’t have to,” he took a long drag, enjoying the smoke. 

“Yet you know I’m going to,” he grabbed his hand giving the fingers a slight squeeze. “As much as I love to hold your hand, doll, they’re fucking freezing.”

“Oww,” Hanzo teased pretending that it hurt. “You’ll need to be gentler, my hands could fall off at any moment. They’re bruised and frosty.” 

“Oh we best get the gloves right away!” He wrapped an arm around his shoulder as they walked towards the line of stores. “Or the people of Goodwell might actually be able to rest easy knowing you’re handless.”

He sighed happily, resting his head on Jesse’s shoulder. “No, I’d just kick them.”

“What a terror,” he joked placing a chaste kiss on the side of his head.

Hanzo chuckled, a warmness spreading through his chest down to his stomach. It was easy to let this happen, to allow himself this little bit of joy into his life. He wasn’t sure how long it’d last or where’d it go but the twinkle in McCree’s eyes made him want to find out. He treated him like a normal man, not revered with fear or walked around eggshells with his words like he was used to. He was  _ genuine.  _ Jesse McCree was a sincere, flawed, and overwhelming sweet man who talked like honey and tasted like smoke. It was dangerous for someone like Hanzo to fall for anyone, but with him he was almost ready to jump. Almost.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks again for all the support! again i'll try to have the next chapter out next weekend but school is def kicking my ass rn so bear with me on the update times! and haha my lowkey revenge since i based those bumpkin thugs after people in high school who were homophobic douches, why are homophobes always so ugly??? who knows


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! So life totally kicked my ass with school and work and then to top it off i got sick for a week. Sorry the update took forever, but thankfully I got it out before February ended! Thanks again for all the comments and support, they really do motivate me to keep going! Again I edit all of my works myself so I apologize for any errors!

Sunlight drifted through the shudders, catching the bits of dust that floated lazily around McCree’s room. He knew he was supposed to go give Reyes a report of his progress in twenty, but somehow his legs strongly disagreed. Soreness sunk deep into his muscles, he had stayed out too long with the Shimada’s last night and he had ended up grocery shopping. He wondered how that would sound on a report. ‘So you found those Shimada boys yet? Yep boss, and then I bought them cheap granola bars and dry shampoo!’ He chuckled at the thought darkly, deeply aware of how fucked he was in general.

On one hand he could tell Reyes where they were, their schedule, and any other little details he had picked up from spending all his spare time with them. He would be regarded as a hero by his co-workers, they could finally haul ass out of Oklahoma and go somewhere worth seeing, maybe a beach. Gabe would be proud, probably ruffle his hair and say something endearing in Spanish before calling him a dumbass. McCree secretly did enjoy any attention he got from his boss, he would never admit it but his father wasn’t in the picture during his youth and he’d like to muse Reyes as that father figure. Stern and irritable, though not quite cross or mean enough to make Jesse dislike him. He provided structure, the sort of stability that had been missing throughout his life. He didn’t think he needed it until he had it, something,  _ someone _ , to rely on. Without Reyes he’d be dead before he’d hit twenty, that he was sure of. He hated owing debts, but he truly did owe everything he had to Gabe. 

Yet the other hand stemmed from something he never considered. Hanzo. Part of him yearned to tell him that his family was hot on his trail, that he needed to leave and go north to get them off course. Another part wanted to just try to hide him here, where he could visit the warehouse and buy him anything he needed. He was sure the heir to a vast criminal empire was used to much better gifts, but if Jesse was a rich man he’d buy him a few acres of land and they could just live there. It wasn’t fair, Hanzo deserved to be treated with honesty, but he couldn’t even guess what he’d do if he found out Blackwatch was looking for him. The coldness he emitted when he spoke of his family could only mean he’d go to dramatic stakes before agreeing to go home. Not that Jesse would ask. Staring at his hand, Jesse could feel how perfect his fingers laced between his, calloused and rough from regular archery practice. He could still smell his inky black hair, soft and thick and positively  _ Hanzo.  _ He couldn’t remember a time he wanted to be with a person as deeply as he did with him. He liked him way too damn much, especially for the situation he was in. A whim flew into his mind that he would just whisk Hanzo away from Oklahoma, that they could all go on the run. He was more than experienced with surviving in shitty conditions and the brothers could hold their own. They would stowaway on semi’s, head to the east coast and maybe end up in Europe. He grinned imaging seeing the Eiffel tower with Hanzo, touring Paris. If he recalled, it was known as the city of love. It was a nice thought. 

Images of blood on virgin snow, pale knuckles bruised and swollen. He was in fact, the Shimada he was looking for a trained killer. Those assholes deserved everything bad that would go their way, but he couldn’t shake the look that Hanzo gave them. Like a wolf about to go in for the kill. The same hands that gently massaged his scalp were just as capable of snapping his neck. McCree chuckled, knowing he  _ definitely  _ shouldn’t find that arousing. That was his curse, always the moth drawn to the flame, sticking his nose where he’d get stung.  

Reality beckoned, with his alarm clock going off for the fifth time this morning. A low groan escaped his mouth and he sat up, joints popping. The cold had made him go stiff, and his lack of sleep didn’t help his situation. McCree did make an effort to lock up the rest of his whiskey, not willing to dance with lady luck twice with driving in this weather drunk. Hell, he was lucky Hanzo didn’t leave him out in the cold to freeze his ass off, Jesse could always be bit of a cryptic especially inebriated. That hole in his chest felt a little warmer thinking of how soft and kind he had treated him, Jesse didn’t believe that anyone was actually like that. Tenderness like that only existed as the lovey-dovey shit that Hollywood tried to sell, definitely not a trait from a highly skilled assassin that he was supposedly hunting. 

He grabbed a shirt off the ground, sniffing it and finding clean enough to wear for the day. The sun blinded him past the shudders, not a cloud in sight. At least it would be warmer, maybe all the snow would melt. Oklahoma was a trip where all four seasons could cycle through a week, he still couldn’t wrap his mind around it. After buttoning on his pair of blue jeans and boots he made his way down the corridor from the living area towards the cafeteria. A cup of coffee, heavy on the cream but no added sugar, along with a bacon egg sandwich and he was ready as he would be to lie to his boss's face. McCree didn’t even bother going to the train station for appearances, he knew where the Shimadas were. He also knew why they escaped, and that they were his only friends in the world if he couldn’t count Reyes. He finished the rest of his coffee in one gulp, prepping his poker face. 

He stalked into Reye’s office, the clock blaring 08:07. Seven minutes late, long enough to fit into Jesse’s character but not late enough to actually get him in trouble, so far so good. He sat himself down, boots up on the desk while Gabe was busy typing on his computer. The man was always so damn busy McCree wondered how he didn’t go crazy.

“Feet off Jesse,” he scolded, though with no real malice behind the words. He didn’t even look up and he finished typing what he assumed must be one of those ‘top secret’ emails. He wondered if it was the Shimadas, possibly even Hanzo’s father.

“Righto bossman,” He flashed him a smile while finger gunning. It earned him a heavy sigh, Gabe running his hand down his face. 

“Fine. Sure.” He grumbled under his breath before turning his chair to face McCree. 

“Another long night?” The older man had bags under his eyes that looked borderline bruised, not the mention the several empty cups of coffee that littered the room. Gabe was definitely not a morning person.

“It always is,” he said bitterly. He grabbed his tablet and flicked it a few times, pulling up a different file. “I’m hoping it was for you too, what do you got for me Jessito.” 

Jessito? Jesse whistled, knowing he had caught him in a good mood, this might actually go smoother than expected. “Not terribly a lot boss, I heard some folks talk about seeing some foreigners on the trains but they didn’t see them get off.” He swallowed, begging for the knot in his throat to disappear. “So, I guess I’m back to square one. Sorry.”

Reyes looked up expectantly. “And?”

McCree froze in the chair, not sure what else to say. He opened his mouth a few times, no sounds coming out.

Reyes laughed, a rare occurrence. “Cat catch your tongue?” He motioned to his own cheek, where McCree knew he had an ugly bruise by now. “What’d you do to get that? Piss off a bumpkin asking about some Japanese boys?”

He managed a nervous chuckle, although his throat was dry. “Oh this? Yeah, I uh. Fell down some stairs. Totally.”

Gabe perked an eyebrow at this, setting the tablet down. Dumb cowboy, bad lie. McCree bit inside his cheek, waiting for a response. 

Reye’s took a darker tone. “McCree, who did this?” His voice was cold and low. “Be truthful now.”

McCree nodded absently, trying to think quick. Hell, he was supposed to be good at this. “Stairs? Yeah you caught me there, that would be stupid. It’s uh.” He looked towards the door contemplating just getting up and sprinting away. Gabe was tired maybe he wouldn’t catch him.

He sighed, the lines around his lips frowning. Jesse always thought he was too young for that many wrinkles. “Look, if someone is giving you trouble around here it isn’t ‘snitching’ to tell me. I want my people to be in the best working condition which means they need to feel at ease on base.” He continued, his voice softer. “So if something happens like this again, you  _ tell _ me alright?” 

McCree was touched. He knew it was a false pretense that he was being harassed by the other Blackwatch members, he avoided them for the most part. Still it was nice to see that Reyes cared, and it gave him some relief that he didn’t actually even have to suggest that lie for it to work. “Alright.”

“Good, dumbass.” He picked up his tablet again, scribbling something quickly. “Then I want you out there to check the shopping districts today. There’s been some cases of a few missing perishable items that law enforcement have ignored, but I have a hunch it could be our boys. It at least gives you a new trail.”

“You got it,” Jesse tipped his hat, sporting a toothy grin. He waited for a dismissive wave with Gabe turning back to his computer.

“I have to catch a flight so I won’t be back until next week. I want to hear results when I get back, are we clear?” He began typing again. “You can go now, Jesse.”

If he was a particularly smart man Jesse would’ve bolted, but he instead opened his mouth. “Can I actually ask you something Reyes?”

He perked an eyebrow but nodded, finishing whatever he was typing. 

McCree continued, fully aware he was sticking his foot in his mouth. “Why do you think the Shimada’s ran away? I mean if they were basically prince’s right? Why leave it all? ”

Reyes fingers froze, the clicking that drummed away ceasing. He looked over to him. “Why do you ask?”

Jesse continued to press in a rush of nerves. “I mean maybe we need to think about this more thoroughly. People don’t just run away from a  _ good  _ life, their parents must’ve done something real bad.” He rose his hands, “It doesn’t make any goddamn sense otherwise.”

“Probably.” Reyes replied darkly after a moment. “Life like that isn’t pretty, but at least one of their kids is a minor and the other is the goddamn heir to everything they got. I’m not saying it’s a pretty situation Jesse, but it’s our best bet.”

His mouth felt dry. “But we can’t just hand them back to that!” He could feel the panic and fear rise in his chest. “You taught me about second chances, how can we just willingly take theirs away? It isn’t right, I thought we were the good guys or some shit?! It just rubs me the wrong way, the whole thing.”

Reyes sat up, his voice hard and low. “Now let’s get one thing clear McCree there are no true ‘good guys’, that isn’t how the fucking world works. There are those who do what it takes to get the job done, and those who can’t or won’t. I don’t like that we have to put those kids back into a shitty situation but a lot more people are going to die and get hurt the longer we take here.” He shook his head. “Like you said, they’re basically princes, as bad as you think it might be it probably isn’t. What matters is we finish what we started  _ here _ , and sometimes in order to do that ‘good’ choice you have to make some bad ones along the way. It isn’t black and white, nothing ever is. Nothing is easy, nothing worth gaining is taken easily. You work hard, and you listen to your goddamn orders.”  He glanced back at the clock, noting the time. “Remember that. Think about this week  _ hard.” _

Jesse took the queue, and took off quickly before Gabe could possibly get another word in. Mission-sorta-accomplished, he had bought himself one more week of sheer panic before he had to actually come to a decision. A mature, healthy adult would take this to be honest with himself and the one’s he loved in order to come to a conclusion. He had opened his goddamn mouth and was pretty sure that Gabe knew that he knew more than he let on. Jesse, however, wanted to do whatever he could to forget that he had done this and to enjoy what time he had left with Hanzo. It felt limited, and twisted in his gut making him nauseous. He needed a stiff drink, or a smoke, or to see Hanzo. He opted for the last two.

Embarrassment gathered in his stomach, still not over the fact that he had arrived drunk and behaved so crassly. He’d had acted like a grade A asshole, even if Hanzo dealt it with levelness and grace. He needed to make up for it, and maybe there was a part of Jesse that felt guilty about hiding the situation from him as well. He  _ wanted _ to tell him but he also wanted to help Reyes. He was stuck between two extremes of ‘oh fuck I’m fucked’. 

Mud skidded across his truck as he made his way down the road, with the sun warm and the majority of the snow melted. He made a stop at the local flower shop, deciding that perhaps he could get a laugh or two from Hanzo if he got some for him. It was that sappy shit that everyone said they didn’t like, but at the very least he could get him to blush and a hair closer to forgiving him. McCree looked through the window, noticing the selection of flora was dramatically less than usual. It was winter, and with unpredictable frosts the only things that usually stayed in stock were roses, everyone’s go to ‘hey I’m sorry’ flower of choice. 

The colors he could see were only red, white, and pink. He knew that he had read somewhere that different shades suggested different relationships, but he never paid much mind to actual remember. He didn’t exactly see himself as the type of guy to buy roses.

There was a pretty girl standing behind the counter, long blonde hair braided back with brilliant blue eyes. She gave him a toothy smile when he entered, the bell attached to the door ringing.

“Hello, welcome to Beautiful Blossoms, is there anything I can do to help?” She noticed McCree eying the empty vases warily. “I know our selection is a bit thin, but I hope you can find something to strike your fancy!”

Jesse tipped his hat returning the smile. “Yeah, I see ya’ll only got some roses. I suppose that it is what I’m in the neighborhood for getting anyways.”

She laughed politely, stepping towards the few bundles of roses that remained. “Oh you need roses? Must be for a very lucky lady.”

He rubbed the back of his neck, “I don’t know if I’d say lucky.” If there was someone on this earth that had worse luck than McCree it could be Hanzo. Sure he was born into good money but didn’t excuse the abuse and pressure that had been stacked on him for years until he left. He shuffled awkwardly to her side, looking at the flowers. “Don’t reckon you know which color says ‘sorry I was an asshole’ do ya?”

“I don’t think any combination is quite so direct,” she giggled, sorting through the stems. “Well we only have three colors, and I don’t think white fits.” She explained looking at Jesse’s confused expression. “White is mostly for innocence, but sometimes it’s bridal. You’re not looking to propose this fine morning are you?”

McCree coughed, feeling his skin heat up around his collar. “Nah, we’ve only known each other for a month now. A bit young for that.”

She nodded, setting the flowers down. “Fair enough. I think pink is usually for appreciation, like thank you. So it could work in that you appreciate she deals with you being,” she cleared her throat, “pardon my language but ‘an asshole’”. 

He laughed loudly, “Oh that might do. Maybe some pink but what does the red stand for? Like love and shit right?”

“Usually for romantic love, so it’s always a best seller.” She grabbed a paper and started putting in pink roses in it carefully. “And most gals I know love getting them so I would recommend mixing in a few.”

“Do it,” Jesse hoped that Hanzo liked them as well. He was willing to bet that no one had ever gotten a bouquet of roses before. 

She gave another gracious smile, before handing him the finished product. “That’ll be 9.99 since they aren’t the best of the bunch.” She rang him up at the register. “But if you’re still seeing her I suggest you come back in the spring and we’ll see if we got her favorite flowers!”

“Yeah that’d be nice.” He paid her and left, the bell ringing behind him. Jesse wondered if that was still a chance that Hanzo would even be here in the spring. Next week Reyes would want results, and one thing anyone could trust Jesse to do was to produce them. The difference between this and every other job was he didn’t want to. Fuck, he didn’t want to, he didn’t even know Hanzo’s favorite flowers. 

He knocked on the warehouse door, one hand clammy as he held the slightly wilted bouquet. No whiskey, a clear mind. He could apologize, even if he wasn’t sure what he was apologizing for anymore. Nothing. Everything.

Green hair was mushed against Genji’s face, yawning loudly. “Yo.”

McCree finger gunned at him with his free hand. “Howdy.”

The younger Shimada eyed the flowers, shutting the door behind him as he stepped out. “Oh you shouldn’t have. What will people say.”

He laughed, “Yeah, it’s...well it’s an apology. Hanzo doesn’t happen to be around is he?”

“The dragon rests,” he said dramatically, lowering his voice to a comical level. “But it’s fine I wanted to talk to you anyways. Privately.”

“Oh?” Jesse shifted his weight to his back leg, hand on hip. “What about? Run into some trouble with Julia?” He gave him a teasing wink.

Genji waved his hand dismissively. “Oh nooo, that’s going fine. She’s super sweet, extremely kind.” He folded his arms across his chest. “I just had a question is all, It’s kinda personal, you game?”

“Shoot,” threads of nervousness prickled the hairs on his neck not quite knowing what he was going to ask. Genji had always been a wild card. 

It was unsettling to see his brow furrow, his voice taking on a serious tone. It wasn’t typical Genji for sure. “What are your intentions with my brother?”

“Intentions?” Jesse asked feeling defensive. His gaze went to the flowers and then back to Genji. He gestured towards them. “What do you think?”

He leaned against the door, his mouth a straight line. McCree suddenly remembered that Hanzo wasn’t the only dangerous assassin in the area. That there was another dragon in the cave. “Jesse you need you to understand, I like you I  _ really  _ do. We’re friends.” McCree nodded in agreement, as he continued. “But you need to know Hanzo isn’t like guys like us. He hasn’t really dated in his life, fuck man he’s got a fiance back home from an arranged marriage.”

Genji stepped closer, shoving his shoulder lightly. McCree couldn’t tell if that was a threat but he knew he wasn’t just being playful. “A fiance? I guess that figures with your parents and all.”

“Yeah, real pretty girl. Got a temper though.” He turned back towards the warehouse. “I don’t know if you’re aware of it, but he  _ really _ likes you. Hell man we were supposed to just be here for a week but you changed his mind and I appreciate that, but..”

“But you’re afraid I’m just playing a game.” Jesse stated realizing where this was going. It was heartwarming to see that Genji was a protective brother, but it irked him that he was mildly threatening him. Jesse didn’t scream ‘innocent man’ but he wasn’t using Hanzo. He didn’t think he could if he tried. 

“Bingo,” Genji imitated McCree’s accent raising his finger. “He might not let it on but he takes everything personally, and usually to the level that he did something wrong.” His expression softened, his eyes sad. “He..he beats himself up about everything that went badly in our lives and puts all the blame on himself. I don’t know what it’d do to him if you’re just messing around.” His face hardened. “So be honest, if you’re just trying to squeeze a fun time out of him I wanna know.”

McCree shrugged. “Look Genji, it’s not like that. I’m not that type of guy, I..” he paused trying to formulate his words. Love? Jesse wasn’t sure he had ever been in love, and was hesitant to stick a strong label on this so soon. However something about ‘like’ didn’t cut it. Not even ‘ _ like _ ’ like. “I care about him. A lot.” He rose up the flowers. “Fuck, I mean I went and got him roses this morning. You know how many guys I’ve done that for?” It was rhetorical, with Genji still watching him carefully. “I have no ill intentions towards you or your brother.” He bit the inside of his cheek. “I rather fall on that sword you keep in the back before hurting him. That’s the god honest truth.”

He narrowed his dark eyes, evaluating his words before nodding. “Well good.” His shoulders sunk, a smile brightening his face. He was back to his usual demeanour. “Because I’d hate to kill you! You’re a real funny cowman, but all joking aside I’m being honest too. If you hurt Hanzo, I hurt you.” He laughed, slapping McCree on the back with just a bit excessive force.

Jesse rose his hand to shake his. “So we’re good pardner?”

He met his handshake with a firm grip. “Haha yeah. You should’ve seen your face though Jesse, I didn’t know you could go pale.”

He gave a sheepish grin, tightening his grip before letting go. “Yeah maybe get your eyes checked there pal. Now I’ll wait out here while you ‘awaken the dragon’.”

With a playful nod, he went inside yelling loudly. “ANIJAAAA. WAKE UP IT’S YOUR BOOOOOYFRIEND.”

McCree loved the little guy to death but sometimes he really wanted to kick him where the sun didn’t shine. No wonder Hanzo was as bashful as he could get. He couldn’t help but chuckle hearing a distressed Hanzo scream back in Japanese along with the crashing noises of crates. Genji appeared again opening the door.

“He’s getting ready but you can come in if you promise to behave cowman.”

He held the flowers to his chest. “Cross my heart.”

Genji grinned at him, moving out of the way revealing a half dressed Hanzo attempting to pull a shirt over his head while mumbling to himself. McCree choked up, he had assumed Hanzo to be in good shape, but  _ damn.  _ He had a broad chest, the tattoo sliding down onto his shoulder edging on his pectoral. He didn’t think people actually had defined abs, that was just a Hollywood myth for actors. McCree’s neck grew hot, seeing the purple marks that trailed up his clavicle. A thousand not ‘appropriate’ thoughts ran through his mind, most of them pondering if Hazo was a full body blusher. He received a glimmer into that truth, seeing a streak of scarlet begin to fade in on his chest as he finally yanked the shirt on. His cheeks were a bright pink.

“Genji!” Hanzo hissed accusingly, though McCree was still starry eyed. 

The younger brother turned to him, slapping his chest. “Hmm, nope you are definitely red. Don’t need to get my eyes checked at all.”

Jesse supposed he’d be mad or have a witty retort ready, but he was fixated on how Hanzo flicked his hair out from under his shirt and ran his hands through it, tying it back. He had never seen him with bed hair before, but he didn’t mind. Hell, no one should be able to look that good waking up.

Hanzo avoided eye contact, speaking lowly. “Good morning.”

“It’s actually near noon, looks like you slept in, dear.” Jesse grinned apologetically. He gave Genji a wide eyed look, and motioning towards the pseudo sheet wall. “You mind?”

He perked an eyebrow. “Yeah, yeah it’s fine. Act like I’m not even here, it’s not like I’ll be able to hear everything through a thin line of fabric.”

“Haha,” Jesse mocked, giving a harsher look which sent him away with a smirk. Genji was definitely a smartass.

The dragon finally had come to his senses, as he was eyeing the flowers walking up to Jesse. “What are these?”

“Roses,” Jesse teased, bringing them up to his face.

“Obviously. What for?” he curtly asked, folding his arms across his chest.

“Well uh,” he felt tongue-tied. “For my behavior yesterday morning. That wasn’t appropriate and I don’t wanna get us off to a bad start.”

He clicked his tongue, shaking his head. “I told you already I forgave you for that. The only requirement is not to do it again, which I believe you’re capable of.” 

Jesse pulled on his shirt a little, revealing the purple marks on his neck. “Well also for getting real familiar too. I was hungover and it seemt like a good idea at the time, but I don’t wanna rush you into anything you don’t like.” He practically shoved the bouquet into Hanzo’s arms. “I was being an asshole.” He shrugged. “ So I got you flowers.”

Hanzo inspected the roses, his grip on the paper gentle. He spoke quietly. “You weren’t being an  _ asshole  _ per say. We both know if you did something I didn’t like you would be in a hospital, not apologizing.” He leaned up on his toes, planting a quick but loving kiss on his cheek. “Nevertheless thank you for the roses Jesse.”

“Sorry they’re a bit wilted honey,” he placed his hands on his waist, bending down for a peck on the lips. 

“Nonsense, they are lovely.” Hanzo glanced around. “Although I do not know where to keep them. It is not like I took vases with me when we fled from Japan.”

“Oh it’s fine if you just leave em sitting about. It’s not like they ever last long.” 

Hanzo scoffed, appearing offended. “Maybe not, but it is nice to keep them alive for as long as I can.” He closed his eyes in thought. “I will just have to buy a vase.”

“Do you mean steal?” Genji called from behind the sheet. “Because as of now we are out of money. Not a cent left to the Shimada name.”

“Genji!” He hissed a little too loudly, turning away from Jesse. “What did I say about saying that word!”

He lazily replied. “I thought you already told him about home? What does it mean to him anyways, it’s just a name.”

Hanzo’s gaze went to the floor, a frown expanding over his face. “I’m asking for you to have more caution is all.”

Genji’s head poked over, overgrown green hair flopping over one of his eyes. “I don’t get it anija, saying our name won’t summon our parents or assassins. It doesn’t work that way, live a little.” He yawned, McCree could see him lace up his shoes. “The whole idea of being free is living how you want, not always hiding, cowering in fear. We are Shimadas, whether if we’re in Hanamura or Goodwell.” Genji popped up, stretching his arms. “I am proud of who I am, and I’m proud of you, but you have to enjoy life while we can. Maybe bounty hunters come running in tomorrow, maybe not. All I know is I’m going to enjoy  _ today _ and that will be enough.”

McCree shifted uncomfortably seeing Hanzo’s nostrils flare. He really didn’t want to be between a scuffle of the brothers, noting how he was dating Hanzo but agreed with Genji on the matter. Not to mention the chances of him in a hand to hand fight with either one would most likely end badly. 

Hanzo huffed turning away from Genji who tried to pat his shoulder. “You say such foolish things brother. I fear it will lead to the end of you.”

Genji merely laughed in response. “End of me? Why it’d take a force of a mighty dragon to do such a deed!” He elbowed Hanzo in his side, who still scowled.

“You joke,” he sneered, pushing him away. “But do not press your luck.”

Genji stuck out his tongue, “All we have is luck.  _ But _ , “ he turned his attention to the silent cowboy. “If you are truly apologetic for giving my brother hickies then I’d say you owe him a vase. To the antique stores!” He enthusiastically yanked on Jesse’s arm who could only grunt in response. 

Jesse wasn’t sure it was the best idea to have the brother’s out and about in the public eye but he couldn’t really tell them otherwise. Maybe he should just try to enjoy the present. He gave a sheepish grin. “I guess I better get ya a vase if I already bought you the flowers.” He shrugged. “Only seems like the gentlemanly way.”

Hanzo huffed, but he was smiling. “When have you been a gentleman?”

McCree gasped, “Why I’m known as quite the charmer way back west.” He gave him a wink. “It seemed to work on you at least.”

Genji made a face, sticking out his tongue. “Okay it was cute but the flirting is a getting a bit much. I just want to go out today.” He sighed. “I mean I’m probably taking Julia out to the movies tonight, but I should probably get some good friend time. I don’t wanna be the guy who’s always out with his girlfriend.” He jabbed Hanzo playfully. “Like someone I know.”

“I am not  _ always _ out with him,” he scowled, a crease deepening on his forehead. 

“Oh yeah?” Genji chided, as he went outside, Jesse opening the door for the brothers. “Name one friend you have other than Jesse in Goodwell.”

McCree couldn’t help but laugh at Hanzo’s face going red and nostrils flaring. It wasn’t a fair comparison, Hanzo by nature was more reserved and introverted than Genji. He was sure that if he wasn’t so forward he wouldn’t be talking with the guy, comparatively Genji was an easy chat and flirtatious by nature. It earned him a quick glare, but he couldn’t help think it was cute.

“Oh darlin, it’s fine I’m pretty solidary too,” he hooked his arm around his walking down the sidewalk. It was sunny, only dirty snow piled into the sides of the road. It was unexpectedly nice weather. “Not a lot of folk around here that are worth knowing I reckon anyways.”

Genji looked up, squinting his eyes at the sun. “I don’t know about that, the people at the diner are really interesting. I mean not interesting like they are part of an elitist crime syndicate family, but still cool.” He wore a relaxed smile. “There’s something endearing about this whole place, how simple it is. It’s not Hanamura, but I do like it.”

Jesse couldn’t help but grin. “That’s a real sweet view on things.”

“And hopelessly naive,” Hanzo shook his head and leaned into Jesse’s side lacing their fingers together lazily. 

 

They walked into the shopping district without incident, he mused he was supposed to be scouting out here anyways. It didn’t take long for Genji to find a variety of oddity vases that Hanzo only sneered at. 

“I am not putting my roses in  _ that.” _

Genji held onto the turtle vase to his chest. “But anija! Look, it has a  _ straw hat _ .” Hanzo groaned which only made Genji pout.

“Jesse tell me you found something better.” He rolled his eyes away from his brother who still coddled the antique. It in fact had a genuine straw hat that someone would’ve had to make. McCree was baffled that someone actually made a tiny straw hat for a vase but it was the country. 

“Uh,” Jesse had only paid attention to a couple, one that was a gun where the flower came out of the barrel, and a cowboy boot. Though he found them charming, he suspected Hanzo would feel differently. “Not really, anything tickle your fancy?”

He chuckled at the face Hanzo made, who furrowed his brow in confusion. “What is tickling me?”

“No, it’s just an expression honey,” he looked over at Genji who still had a devil’s grip on the ugly straw hat wearing frog vase. “But I’m sure there’s something else we can find.”

“No there is not,” Genji bluntly said. Jesse wanted to point out that they weren’t his roses in the first place, but Hanzo had already sighed in agreement.

“Fine, if it means we will end vase shopping I will take the ugly frog.” 

“It is not an ugly frog, it is  _ art _ ,” Genji beamed, handing to McCree who went to pay for it. “Well crafted and beautiful art.” It was a bright shade of green, the dots beginning to line up in Jesse’s head why he liked the damn thing so much. Still, if the Shimada’s were happy then he was happy. 

It didn’t take them long to take it back to the warehouse, Hanzo placing it on several crates before finding the perfect spot. It was comical, wilted red and pink roses springing from the back of a bright green frog. Jesse found it endearing. 

As winter was in full gear despite the warm day, the sun was setting before too long. Genji stretched his limbs before heading towards the door. 

“You guys coming to the movie too? It’s an outdoor one apparently, Julia seemed excited.”

“Depends,” McCree asked who was more than aware of drive in theaters. “What’s showing?”

“Some cowboy movie,” Genji squinted his eyes in thought. “High Noon, I think?”

He had Hanzo out and in the truck to the parking lot in record time.

 

“So we just sit in the back of your truck to watch a movie? There are no seats?” Hanzo asked in a questionable tone. McCree was throwing a few blankets and towels that he took from the warehouse in the bed of the truck nodding.

“Yup that’s the idea,” he hoisted himself up on it, leaning back. “And you and me just sit pretty right here.”

After a moment of contemplation Hanzo accepted the invitation and sat next to McCree. He leaned back awkwardly staring at the blank screen. 

“What’s up?” He asked, brushing a loose strand behind his ear. 

“Nothing, this is just...strange. There are many vehicles around it feels odd to not know who is sitting near us.”

“Oh darlin ain’t nobody paying us any mind.” He wondered if there were any Blackwatch agents out here looking for them. He doubted it, Reyes was fairly conservative with his people but the thought still gnawed at him anyways. He swallowed the nerves down, moving his arm across Hanzo’s shoulder. Tonight was about him seeing a Western, being with Hanzo, not McCree’s problems. 

The movie had started, the familiar intro music brought back good memories. Jesse had seen films like this a million times growing up, hence his own attire. Yet it was the last thing on his mind in the back of his pickup truck. Genji had went separately with Julia, answering a silent prayer for Jesse. Seeing a movie was an iconic chance for couples to get comfortable, and with his hand settled on Hanzo’s side he felt confident with himself. He believed him when he said he’d let him know if he was uncomfortable and the way Hanzo nonchalantly munched on a granola bar made it obvious he was in the clear. McCree watched him fondly as he continued to chew loudly, his eyes glued to the large screen.

“So strange,” he commented. “You have movie showings outside,  _ in winter. _ I suppose we’re fortunate that the climate here never matches the season.”

“It was cold yesterday, so that was enough winter for the week,” Jesse dipped his head kissing the side of Hanzo’s mouth. He was not one to waste time.  _ Especially since you don’t know how much ya got left. _ He chastised himself, pushing the train of thought down. “I ain’t complainin’ for sure.”

He pawed at Jesse’s face ineffectively. “I am trying to watch the show.” He let out a low chuckle with McCree’s lips moving to his neck. “Jesse, I cannot see with your hat blocking the view.”

“I’d say the best view in the house is right here,” he tilted his head to sneak in a few kisses on his mouth. Hanzo shifted his weight, leaning closer. 

“Jesse,” he smiled against his lips. “There are other people around have you no shame?”

McCree noted how he didn’t protest his hand roaming up his thigh. “Oh honey this is what everyone does at these things. Nobody is here for the Western no matter how damned good High Noon is.” 

Hanzo laughed quietly at that, the brown of his eyes shining from the light of the movie. “I don’t know about that. I suppose I’ll have to watch it to see how ‘damned good’ it truly is.”

“Babe,” Jesse whined. Hanzo had basically worked himself onto Jesse’s lap already and he really didn’t want that to change. There was a chill to the night’s air, his body felt like fire against his. 

Hanzo ran a hand through Jesse’s hair, pulling back the loose strands covering his face. “Don’t pout, how unbecoming of you.” He was grinning like a cat playing with his food. He tucked one of his legs against McCree’s pulling him closer. “Have patience.”

He was resigned to laying his head on his shoulder where Hanzo kissed his head. “At least you’re going cold on me for a Western. Can’t even blame you.” He joked, voice muffled as he was still leaning on the other man. 

“‘Going cold’, please,” he scoffed petting his head. “I think watching a movie together under the stars is quite romantic. Especially after the flowers earlier, you’re doing well.”

“Oh?” Jesse rumbled happily feeling his fingers on his scalp. “Do I get a prize?” He waggled his eyebrows resting his chin on Hanzo’s shoulder. 

His eyes were back on the screen, it seemed he was determined to watch the film. “Maybe,” Jesse rubbed his hand up and down his thigh but Hanzo was unfazed. “This is pretty funny though, they all dress and talk like you.” He raised an eyebrow. “Though it is a bit tame.”

“Tame? Oh baby just wait for the ending it’s iconic. He takes on everyone alone.” McCree wrapped his arm around his waist. This was as touchy as the night would probably get but at least Hanzo liked Westerns. It was still acceptable to date him in Jesse’s book. He glanced over to him. “What type of movies you like anyways? Romantic comedies?” 

Hanzo chuckled. “That was always more of Genji’s domain. He would always run off with girls to watch them. He’d claim it was for them, but I am not so easily fooled.” He paused, giving a quick kiss to the side of Jesse’s head. “I liked Ronin films myself. They are samurai but without a master. Either their master’s died, or they simply left them.” He looked down. “They are regarded as honorless, but nevertheless are good for films. Lots of fighting.”

“Maybe we can look up some for the next movie night,” Jesse cooed, although he knew such a thing wasn’t promised, especially with his earlier talk with Reyes. “Somewhere more private so I can properly woo you.”

“Woo me?” He laughed with that damned low raspy voice that drove him mad. Alas, he also finally removed McCree’s hand which was roaming further up than just his thigh now. “Is that what you’re calling it now?”

“I keep telling ya, I’m a gentleman,” Jesse feigned a gasp before turning Hanzo’s head for a kiss. He deepened it, a desperation to his touch. McCree couldn’t help but worry with everything that was going on, that at any moment this could all be over, could all go away. Hanzo was here, warm and beautiful and sitting against him that he didn’t want to let him go. God, he didn’t want this to just disappear like every other good thing in his life. 

Hanzo pulled away first, breathing heavily. He leaned his forehead on McCree’s, smiling. “Well I look forward to this private movie night. Cowboys look good but are nothing compared to a true Ronin.”

“Oh you take that back,” McCree growled into his ear playfully, nipping his earlobe. 

Hanzo’s face and neck grew red. “Make me.”

Jesse made a face, knowing that they were in public. Only if this was private movie night. “You tease,” he leaned into another kiss. “I’ll just have to show you more Western’s so you learn.”

“Sounds like a lot of private movie nights,” Jesse gasped feeling Hanzo’s lips on his neck, warm and wet. He couldn’t help but giggle as he marked him, his neck especially sensitive around his clavicle. Hanzo seemed to pick up on that, focusing on that, worming a hand up his shirt. A rush of cold night air touched his skin giving him goosebumps.

“Baby,” McCree managed to say with Hanzo grinding slowly on his lap. “Baby, we’re in  _ public.”  _ He knew that most people were probably making out in the confines of their cars, but he couldn’t help but feel this was obscene. So much for Hanzo being the modest of the two of them. He could feel Hanzo’s grin against his chest, to where his lips had dropped.

“I didn’t take you to be shy,” He kissed the top of his chest where a little hair was visible before getting off him, lying to his side. “But if you wish to wait til we’re alone, let me watch the movie.”

Jesse whined butting his head on Hanzo’s shoulder. “You’re having too much fun with this.”

He was grinning ear to ear. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He stretched back against the truck, returning his attention to the film. 

McCree was more than content to lay against him and watch the remainder of the movie with their fingers loosely interlocked. It was intimate in a different account than making out in the back of the truck, a sweetness past the passion. 

He closed his eyes, a soft smile spreading across his face. For a moment he could pretend he was a normal teenager, doing normal things. He could forget about the gangs, Blackwatch, that he was in a relationship with a Shimada. He could just be an American boy in rural Oklahoma, with not a care in the world. 

Hanzo sighed happily next to him, settling his head on his shoulder. Jesse’s chest warmed at the sight of him watching the screen intently, his enticing mouth slightly agape. It ripped him apart to think he had to give this up, that he would have to turn him into Reyes along with Genji. He knew he couldn’t, but he also knew he couldn’t go up to Reyes empty handed. 

He rested his head on top of his, wishing that the movie would never end. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So if you noticed it's going to be 20 instead of 14 chapters, since I totally am switching up some things with the story. Sorry if this chapter has some poor transitions, haha I am still working on what direction I want to go with this but thanks for sticking this far! I will finish this series Lord help me.  
> edit: also fun fact, this weather is 100% realistic bc it was 90 degrees monday and then it snowed wednesday so that's oklahoma for ya


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heya guys! This chapter is a bit long, but all in all I hope it's good. It gets spicy at the end, so haha yeah. Thanks for all the support, ya'll are a big reason I still write!

 

Hanzo stretched slowly, his shoulders popping. It was an unusually warm day, the sun blaring down on them despite it being winter. He didn’t understand the weather, but nevertheless was grateful. The amiable sunshine was perfect for his plans of the day if it held through.

Jesse had been anxious the past few days, although he would claim nothing was wrong. Hanzo was still no closer to finding out what this job his boss gave him that caused him so much stress, but he had come up with a plan. No phone calls, no interruptions, Hanzo was determined to make Jesse relax today and there was not a force on earth that could stop him. If the Shimada’s were known for anything other than their crime syndicate, it was their stubbornness and will. 

“Where’d you get that?” Genji asked him as he walked back into the warehouse, the day already into the afternoon. Hanzo held a bottle of wine that he had just pilfered from a liquor store. For a such a small town he didn’t understand why they had about five of them. 

“Found it,” he smirked when Genji narrowed his eyes. “And no, you can’t have any.”

“Aw why not?” he whined, though he only curiously looked at Hanzo who was busy stuffing it into his bag. “Got a hot date that you wanna wine and dine?”

Hanzo scoffed. “You say such outlandish things. But yes I am planning a date if you must know.” He sighed, wishing that he was able to clean up better but was resigned to blotting his face with baby wipes. He remembered the bathhouse in Hanamura, how the hot water would envelop him with all his stresses washing off of him. It seemed so long ago now.

Genji smiled lazily, laying back over on the thin bedroll. “I thought we agreed that alcohol and Jesse was a bad idea? Or did you have a revelation with the dragons that said otherwise?”

He rolled his eyes, setting the bag down. “It’s just some cheap wine, I don’t plan for us to go through the whole bottle.” He paused. “And it’s not just me who’s noticed he seems more….stressed than usual, correct?”

Genji contemplated for a moment before nodding. “Yeah he does seem more antsy than lately. I just thought it was because you’re a bit of a prude.” Hanzo was about to throw the frog vase at him before he continued. “A joke! It was a joke! Don’t break the frog!” He rolled over in a dramatic fashion which earned him a laugh from Hanzo.

“Ridiculous boy,” he shook his head. “He’s currently on a job that is apparently more upsetting than he let’s on. So wine and dine.”

Genji yawned, eyes closed as if he was already bored. “Cool cool, but what you guys doing? Please don’t tell me both of you will be getting shit faced here and I’m not allowed any.”

“Language,” he chided. 

“Sorry  _ mother _ ,” Genji stuck out his tongue before sitting up.

Hanzo slightly recoiled, knowing that he was echoing her. It was a hard thing to shake, the idea that no matter how hard he tried that they would always be a part of him. That he would always hear their parents voice in the back of his mind despite everything. “But no, not here. It is a nice day so I was planning to go stargazing.” It was a half truth, he _ was _ planning to take him to watch the stars. It was a simple, stress free activity he was sure that Jesse would enjoy. The part he was leaving out was where it was, something about Jesse’s shooting range seemed intimate and he wasn’t sure he should mention to his brother. Not that he wanted to.

Genji seemed as disinterested as ever. “Huh that sounds cute. I think I’m gonna head to the arcade you wanna come?”

Hanzo raised an eyebrow. “I just told you I’m planning a date.”

“Yeah, sounds like you got it planned. And unless you’re going to stare straight into the sun you’ll have to wait a bit to see the stars.” Hanzo scoffed though he did have a point. 

Hanzo sat down with a nod. “Fine. Jesse said he’d come over at the afternoon so we’ll have to wait until he shows up anyways.”

His brother chuckled which only made Hanzo scowl. “You really do like him don’t you?”

“You’re seeing Julia, I don’t see what is so strange with me seeing someone as well.” Hanzo always grew uncomfortable when Genji spoke as if he was the older one. However when it came to relationships the younger Shimada had him beat in terms of experience and knowledge. He had maybe gone on a total of three dates during his teen years, learned he was engaged at fourteen, and once he had reached eighteen he actually met his fiancee. After that point he deemed such pursuits useless, he never imagined that he’d be in America dating a man who dressed like an archaic Western stereotype. Life was never simple for him as it turned out.

“Yeah, Julia is fun but it’s  _ casual _ .” Genji stretched his arms behind his head watching Hanzo carefully. “And we both know that you can’t do casual.”

He scoffed, feeling the burning gaze of his brother. “You do not know that.”

“Yeah I do.” He smirked, standing up and walking towards him. “There’s nothing that Shimada Hanzo goes into without giving his all. You give a hundred percent even when it is not asked.” He playfully pushed his shoulder. “And it seems this spills over into your love life as well. I am happy for you. And proud.”

Hanzo’s retort was caught in his throat as he went through his brother’s words. He did not like failure, that was sure, but he was positive most people tried their hardest throughout life. He had worked hard to please the clan, to please their parents, to always be the model son and brother. He fell into routine too easily, always hit as hard as he could, always aimed for a perfect shot.  _ Never second best _ . His father’s words bled through into his mind, a frown growing over his face. The thought never occurred that perhaps he fell too quickly, too hard, got himself too worked up. Hanzo wasn’t sure what to do with this information. He was caught off guard when Genji wrapped his arms around him for a hug.

“Don’t you dare overthink it now. It’s fine, you’re letting yourself be happy for once.” His smile was genuine, with only affection in his eyes. Hanzo was always baffled with how sweet Genji could be. That at the end of the day, he was truly a good person, a better man than Hanzo could hope to be.  

He gave him a pat on the shoulder in return. “I suppose that is true. And that is enough for now.” For once in his life Hanzo didn’t have a long term plan lined up. He didn’t know what tomorrow brought, or where they would be in the next year not even the next month. He hated it, the fear that came with uncertainty that was hand in hand with instability. He hated that he felt small and lost when he had promised himself that he would feel free, feel liberated. But that had all been before Jesse showed up. Hanzo didn’t think that even if had been warned that he could ever be prepared for him. The storm of emotions that had consumed him in the past month was most magical time in his life. He felt lighter, that maybe it was okay to not know what the next day brought, that spontaneity wasn’t inherently a bad thing. Perhaps he was a fool, but he  _ was _ happy. He truly believed that he and Genji would be okay.

Genji flicked his hair before turning away, a grin wide across his face. “I’m glad. You’re always such a buzz kill it’s nice for you to loosen up.”

“Genji,” Hanzo warned although he knew he was just teasing. That was his brother, kind and sincere and back to being a little shit in a blink of an eye. He did love him. 

A knock on the door and Genji was already dragging Hanzo along, eager to go to the arcade. 

“Someone has been challenging my high score and I hope to catch them!” He explained to a somewhat confused McCree. He looked over to Hanzo who mouthed ‘arcade’ which seemed to explain enough.

“Well I reckon we can’t have that now, can we?” Jesse grinned as Genji took the lead with a twinkle of determination in his eyes, meaning in his step. 

“I must defend my honor,” he stated lowly, unfazed by Hanzo’s groans. 

Hanzo rolled his eyes at his brother though it switched to a smile when Jesse easily took his hand in his own. “You’ll have to forgive Genji, this has been bothering him for the past two days now. He has met his match.” Genji didn’t even notice the jibe as he went forward. Perhaps he was just ignoring it.  

McCree laughed, “Well I’ll be damned I wonder who’s playing. Other than you two I don’t really see anyone step into that old arcade.” Hanzo looked at his face, the bags under his eyes worse, the smile on his face a tad bit forced. 

“You have not been sleeping well,” Hanzo spoke quietly stroking Jesse’s thumb with his.

He laughed again, tiredly. “That obvious huh? I just got a lot of work is all babe, nothing for ya to worry about.”

Hanzo was not sure he believed him, but he also knew it was definitely something to worry about. Especially with Jesse’s line of work. “You do not have to humor me with constant visits, if you are tired then you should sleep.”

McCree scoffed. “Please, seeing ya’ll is the highlight of my day. I wouldn’t miss this for the world.” He briefly reached up, holding his chin affectionately before placing a soft kiss to his cheek. “Ain’t nothing more important to me than my baby.”

He felt the the heat rise to his ear tips and rush down his neck. He wasn’t sure how he could say such things with a straight face. It was on the line of endearing and embarrassing, much like the man himself. “Ridiculous man.” He butted his shoulder with his head. “Flattery however won’t save you from sleep deprivation. You lecture me on self care but seem to forget it when it comes to yourself.” He grinned tightening his grip on his hand. “Please listen to yourself my dearest. For my sake if not your own.”

Jesse whistled, a slight pink to his cheeks. “I wouldn’t have to sweet talk if you’d stop being so damn sweet. Wouldn’t peg assassins as the sentimental types.”

“You’d be surprised. Nothing is more important to my family as tradition and appearances.” Hanzo recalled how old fashioned everything back home was compared to the new world. It was strange to think of now, but the Shimada’s were truly stuck in their ways. He had been stuck in those ways.

“I hear ya,” McCree tipped his hat down, shading his eyes from the sun. “I don’t think traditions have been instilled in me all that much, but I get appearances. There’s a wrong and right way to make impressions and good Lord only knows how those turned out for me.” 

Hanzo chuckled, giving McCree a short pat on the face. “I don’t know about that, you’re at the very least interesting. You made me turn back.”

He held his hand before he could fully withdraw, pressing his lips to his palm. “I am sure glad about that.”

“As am I,” he brought his hand back into his lacing their fingers. Hanzo looked forward, Genji’s lead increasing. “We should pick up our pace before he leaves us completely behind.”

 

The arcade was empty as ever, with Genji’s nemesis nowhere to be found. When they arrived they saw he was already vigorously playing, his eyes glued to the screen with his knees slightly bent in anticipation. 

“Get any new high scores?” Jesse asked, leaning back on a dusty machine. 

“Not yet,” he said curtly, his fingers darting on the buttons. It appeared he was playing some sort of asteroid game, or at least an imitation. “But the day has only begun.”

“I ‘pose that’s the spirit,” McCree grinned as he peered around the arcade. “Looks like a ghost town.”

Hanzo wasn’t sure why he was smiling, but it nevertheless lightened his heart. “This place isn’t as popular as it once was I assume.” He followed Jesse as he wandered towards the back, Genji oblivious to the fact they left. Hanzo only rolled his eyes at his brother before leaving, although hoping that he did beat the mystery gamer. Shimada’s did have a standard to uphold even if they were runaways.

“Where are you going?” he asked, as Jesse slipped behind a back curtain. He was almost positive that they weren’t supposed to go back there, but it was after all Jesse. Hanzo himself wasn’t one to hold moral high grounds when it came to trespassing as he was legally a squatter. With a loud sigh he came in from behind him. 

“Well looky there,” Jesse gestured to a booth proudly. “Ya know what this is?”

“It looks like an old box with a curtain.” Hanzo stated flatly as McCree brushed some dust off a panel on the side. 

“Well ya ain’t wrong,” He gave it a few strong pats before checking the wiring. “It’s a photo booth to be exact.”

It was not like one Hanzo had ever seen. It was dusty, crowded, and had a stale musk about it. Jesse looked excited and he had the bad feeling he would want them to cram into the dirty space. This was only confirmed with the cowboy crawling in after he finished his inspection. 

“Jesse?” He asked, creeping closer still wary. A burst from the curtain, he was pulled in with a yelp. He heard a snapping noise, followed by McCree's laughter. 

“Oh man I bet that's a keeper,” he leaned over to check the photo. Hanzo, still dazed, grimaced finding it rather unflattering with his eyes wide and face blurred in motion. Next to him was a grinning Jesse making a finger gun with his free hand. 

Hanzo moved to a more comfortable position, although the only way he'd fit was on Jesse’s lap. He huffed. “How rude.” 

McCree yanked the picture off the machine but before he could stash it away Hanzo swiped it out of his hands. 

“Hey!” He protested, reaching for it only to be met with a series of swats. “C’mon it's cute, I wanna keep it.” 

“Perhaps _ I _ want to keep it,” he teased inspecting it further. It was immensely undignified of him and there was no way he could ever let Genji know the picture existed. He contemplated destroying it on the spot but it gave him a bit leverage. Not to mention his position on his boyfriend currently. 

Hanzo grinned, McCree wrapping his arms around his torso. “ _ Hun _ ,” he whined into the back of shirt. “Baby, sweetheart, apple of my eye may I  _ please  _ have it back?” 

Hanzo chuckled, patting the top of his hat. “As if terms of endearment will get you any closer to your goal.” He turned to the camera, the model old and scratched. He was impressed that the picture had came out as well as it did, or that this thing was even functioning. “But if you insist we can take a few more pictures. I'll decide which ones you can keep.” 

McCree seemed to be okay with this as reached forward hitting the button. “Strike a pose on a count of five,” he pressed his face to side of Hanzo's who broke out into a grin. He was positive he blinked from the flash, but he hoped it would turn out respectable.

Hanzo was the one to pull the photo, frowning that his eyes were indeed closed.

“This thing is archaic,” he chided before Jesse took a glance. 

“I think it's a nice picture,” he stated though smirking. Hanzo shot him a glare before snatching it up. 

“We'll have to take another one, for this is mine as well.”

Jesse flicked his ear playfully. “Ain't ya being a bit greedy there? Two for two.” 

He turned his head, bumping their noses. “I'm a Shimada, I get what I want.” 

“Oh yeah? And what would that be Mr. Shimada?” Jesse leaned forward nuzzling into his neck. 

“You'll find out,” he taunted in a low voice before reaching towards the button. “But I want to get a good picture.” 

Jesse murmured something inaudible before they took a series of photos. Hanzo had attempted to take a nice photo, but Jesse had other ideas. It began with him kissing his neck, then his cheeks to his lips. Hanzo had provided little protest, taking advantage to steal his hat and give him bunny ears while he was distracted. Hanzo raised the hat in front of the camera before grabbing Jesse’s chin for a peck on the lips. He could feel his skin flush under his touch, and a grin against his lips. His laughter was contagious and Hanzo felt his heart skip a beat. He wanted to kiss him and listen to that rich chuckle, to feel him relax under his weight. McCree felt at peace, which only made the moment all the sweeter for Hanzo. 

“Alright cowboy,” Jesse placed the hat on Hanzo's head with a soft plop. “We should probably get out of this booth before a certain gamer comes looking for us.” 

Hanzo feigned a gasp. “Do you think my brothers nemesis would truly hunt us down? To go after their competitions family is most dishonorable.” 

McCree chuckled as they awkwardly crawled out of the compartment, limbs bumping. “Okay smart guy let's see if you'll let me keep a picture.” 

They sorted through the photos, a mixture of smiles and kisses with the last one being their faces concealed behind the hat. Jesse picked up that one, his face a faint pink.

“If you get the first one then I get this one.” His voice was light.

Hanzo tilted his head. “Any reason that one in particular? You cannot even see our faces.” Hanzo picked a few he liked, delegating it would be fair to let Jesse have a few. Not that he was going to tell him right away. 

He was quiet for a moment, leaning slightly into Hanzo. “I don't know...I just like it.” 

Hanzo noticed his blush had grown into a deeper red. “That is hardly an answer.” He traced his thumb across his jawline slowly. His skin felt hot underneath his fingertip. “Tell me the truth or else it's mine.” 

He scoffed, though he hooped one arm around his abdomen. “You drive a hard bargain I'll give you that.” He looked down sheepishly. “It ain't nothing dirty if that's what you're worried about. It's actually kinda juvenile.” 

Hanzo raised a brow. “Now you've only perked my curiosity.” 

“Hah, well don't say I didn't warn ya.” He rubbed the back of his neck before returning his gaze to the photo. “It's just a real cliche way to kiss a cowboy you know? Like it’s only in the movies you see them using the hat to be a lil modest and I suppose it's just real cute to see ya doing it.” 

“Don't tell me you're a romantic McCree.” Hanzo turned to him with a soft smile. He was ridiculous, truly and utterly so and it was wonderous. He was baffled at how his dangerous ex gang covert operative was bashful about a silly gesture as holding at a hat in front of a kiss. 

“Only for you,” he squeezed him slightly giving him a half smile and the best attempt of puppy eyes. Hanzo believed he would be immune to those at this point from Genji, but he was mistaken. He melted as fast as the snow from this week. 

“I suppose you can keep it,” he glanced down at the series of photos in his hands. A memento of their time together. He pondered if they would look at these as a cherished memory in the future. He didn’t have a notion of how long this would last, but he hoped for an endless amount of time. It was foolish to believe living in a warehouse in the middle of America was a plan but he was beginning to become accustomed to Jesse. From his scruff, to his endearments, from up to his hat down to his boots he was entirely charmed. He didn’t want this chapter of his life to end any time soon, he wanted to live in the moment. In  _ these  _ moments.

Jesse made an approving noise quickly placing the photo in his wallet before Hanzo could change his mind. “I promise to keep it safe darlin,” he gave him a peck on the cheek sighing happily.

“Wait just a moment,” Hanzo instructed before Jesse stepped back into the main room of the arcade. “You may have more than one, I am not entirely consumed by greed.”

“Aww shucks doll you’re a real philanthropist.” Hanzo handed over a few more pictures, discreetly the ones he looked the best in. He pocketed the rest for himself, not sure where to keep them, but knew he was going to. He doubted he would ever go into another photo booth again, and Jesse did look cute in most of them. 

When they returned it was as if they never left. Genji was still glued to a gaming console, his eyes strained red as if he hadn’t blinked in the time they were gone. The only notable difference was he was playing different game.

“Get that high score?” McCree asked, scanning the area. Hanzo noticed that no one else was still here, no nemesis yet. 

“Yeah,” he replied curtly, eyes still connected to the screen. It appeared to be some sort of cooking simulator. 

“Only if you actually cooked,” Hanzo lamented, leaning on a nearby machine. 

Genji cursed as the timer went out and he failed to complete all the orders. The score screen flashed showing him in second place, just a few hundred points behind a ‘Hacker768’. 

“Oh you see the problem there dontcha.” Jesse had a sly grin. “It's a hacker, ya can't beat that.” 

Hanzo couldn’t help but chuckle at Genji’s huffing and puffing. “I will find a way, a Shimada never accepts failure! Not even when the odds are stacked against us!”

He looked at Hanzo for confirmation who nodded approvingly. Genji was strongly competitive despite his rather whimsical demeanor. He figured that somethings about their nature were deeply ingrained. Their stubbornness and desire to win came as naturally as their dragons it would seem. 

Genji went back to the game, sticking in another coin. Hanzo sighed knowing that they had lost him for the day, which wasn't terrible since it played into his plans. Jesse was content to watch over his shoulder before Hanzo tugged on his sleeve. 

“Let’s get out of here,” he stated to a somewhat confused but intrigued McCree. 

His brother didn’t vocalize his acknowledgement of them leaving the arcade, Hanzo wondered if he even noticed. He smiled to himself, happy that Genji still acted childish despite his own protests. He deserved a childhood, even if it meant that all of their pocket change would be lost in his gaming battle. 

“What’s up?” Jesse asked, his hands stuffed into this pockets. He squinted his eyes at the sun gazing upward. 

“I have to be honest with you,” He turned to Jesse, taking on a serious tone. He internalized the grin from Jesse’s face paling.

“You know you can tell me anything,” McCree swallowed audibly. He always appeared that he was about to be scolded.

“You see…” Hanzo drew it out longer. He felt a bad when he noticed that Jesse was holding his breath, he’d thought he would’ve been less susceptible to his taunts by now. “I’ve planned a day out together. But you will have to drive.”

He sighed in relief, play punching his shoulder. “You are such a tease y’know that Shimada?” 

He gasped, feigning pain in his arm. “I have no clue what you’re referring to.” McCree pouted which only made him laugh. Hanzo leaned on his toes pressing his lips softly to his cheek. “Now don’t make a face like that, it’s unbecoming.” 

“Babe, I’m kinda unbecoming all around,” Jesse stroked his thumb across his jaw, something dark lingering behind his gaze. He always seemed to have sad eyes. “But I reckon if you went to the trouble of planning something I should at least humor ya. Where we off to?”

“The shooting range,” he hummed, taking him by the hand and leading him back towards the warehouse. “Today is the day you learn archery.” 

“Archery?” He repeated, his eyes widening. “You sure about this? I gotta remind ya I ain't ever used a bow before.” 

“I am sure you will pick it up quickly,” he persisted practically dragging McCree down the street. He wasn't really sure if he would, but it definitely make an interesting evening at least. 

“And what makes you say that?” Jesse held onto his hat, raising an eyebrow. 

Hanzo turned around confidently. “Because you'll have the best archer at your disposal as your instructor.” 

“Oh.” He simply replied, staring at Hanzo for a moment. His mouth was slightly agape, expression soft and awed. Wisps of dark brown hair fell over his eyes, bright and warm, all hints of sorrow well hidden underneath. It startled him how often this happened, that he'd get lost by merely gazing at him. Hanzo wanted nothing more than to have this man look at him like this, simple and loving. 

“Oh,” he echoed a smile spreading over Hanzo's face. He would’ve liked to stand there, adoring him for hours but today was not about him, it was about McCree. They had a shooting range to get to. He took him roughly by the hand again and continued back to the warehouse. 

Hanzo had snuck a bottle of wine along with some snacks into his bag, ready to surprise him with it along with shooting practice. He grinned to himself, wondering how happy it would make Jesse, that after all the gifts and favors he did for him that he could return at least one evening of fun. He went inside first blocking Jesse from entering. 

“What's the hold up?” He perked an eyebrow, eyeing Hanzo playfully.

“I have to get my bow,” he smirked although Jesse merely tilted his head.

“I don't see how that connects..?” 

Hanzoy jabbed at his side lightly, “The rest is a secret, you'll have to trust me.” 

“Ohh right,” Jesse shook his head although he retreated to lean on the side of the building. “Always trust the assassin prince who says ‘trust me’.” 

Hanzo laughed, “Says the man with the mysterious job. It's ‘confidential’.” 

McCree attempted to scowl, but his grin gave him away, bright and warm as the sun. “You're always such a tease.” 

“You like it,” Hanzo gave him a flirtatious wink before slipping inside to gather his pack. Jesse was too easy to get flustered, and Hanzo couldn't help but find it endearing as amusing. His time with McCree was fun, it was simple. The more and more he indulged himself with it the more he found himself smiling for no reason. He felt lighter, like a weight had been taken off his shoulders. He made him happy. 

He picked up his backpack along with his bow case, taking note to leave all the scatter arrows behind. Hanzo had been trained with a bow since he could walk, and nearly killed Jesse the first time they went to the shooting range. McCree was a good shot, but Hanzo wasn’t going to risk it. He liked having his head.

The car ride was pleasant, there was decent banter with Hanzo doing his best to make Jesse laugh. It was low, loud, and wondrously slow. His drawl was always more pronounced when he was giggly, and Hanzo admitted that he liked it. It was smooth, almost viscous like honey. He found it fitting that he would have a voice that was as desirable as his personality. 

They rolled up to the spot in the woods, abandoned and quiet as always. Hanzo appreciated the solitude, a place that felt like he could let his guard down, that he could breath. As absurd it would be that his father’s men would look for them in Oklahoma he felt that even if they went this far they wouldn’t find this remote part of the woods. Truth be told being with Jesse made him feel safe, another absurdity as he was more than wary and alert of his surroundings, more so than the cowboy at least. Perhaps that was why he treasured times like this, he  _ didn’t _ have to be on guard, having his fight or flight response at hand. Hanzo could relax, even if it was for a little bit it was more than he was ever used to. He would hardly say anything he did was carefree, but he honestly felt at ease. He smiled watching Jesse pick up beer cans and tossing them into a plastic bag. 

“Man, if you told me ya were wanting to come out here I would’ve cleaned up a bit,” he looked back sheepishly. 

“This is fine,” Hanzo tilted his head as Jesse bent down to pick up another can. “The view is quite nice.”

He seemed to pick up on the flirting, his cheeks going red again. “Damn babe, today you are relentless.” He grinned, rubbing the back of his neck. 

“You always flood me with lists of pet names, I did not expect you to get flustered so  _ easily _ .” Hanzo smirked as he opened the case for stormbow, stringing it with care. 

“To be frank, darlin I ain’t really used to the receiving end.” He eyed the bow warily as Hanzo tested its tetherings. “Usually it’s just me complimenting a gal or fella hoping that it’s taken well.”  

He cocked an eyebrow, approaching McCree. Hanzo wasn’t typically the flirting type, he had never really had the opportunity or desire to. However now he understood why his brother did it so, there was something primitively satisfying to the blush on Jesse’s cheeks, the softness in his eyes. Hanzo offered him stormbow with a wink. “I suppose there is a first for everything.” McCree took the weapon, his grip loose as if he were to squeeze to hard it might break. “It is a shame that you were not told you are beautiful more often. I suppose it is up to me to remedy that.”

Jesse broke into laughter, holding his hat down over his eyes bashfully. “You say the darnest things y’know? I thought we were here to teach me archery not for you to see lil ole me swoon.”

He chuckled, taking away his hat to place on his own head. “I do not see a reason to why those two events have to be exclusive.” 

Hanzo handed him an arrow as they moved over to the nearest target. The tree was riddled with bullet holes with a distinct large one in the center. He was a good shot with a gun, but he wondered if it was the gun or his eye as he claimed. Archery required a strong chest, shoulders, and arms. Jesse was young and strapping, but he doubted he used his muscles in this manner. Hanzo was fairly certain he’d be able to at least hit the target, but if not at least it would be funny to watch. 

“Alrighty then,” McCree held the bow awkwardly notching the arrow. “Should I just go for it or do ya got some million dollar tips for me?”

“Try to shoot it yourself first so I can see your form.” He was pulling the arrow back, before Hanzo called out. “Wait!” Jesse looked over him annoyed as he retreated a good five feet back, smirking. “Now you can try.”

“What a confidence booster, thanks coach,” he grumbled as he drew back the arrow once more, squinting one eye. Hanzo gave a surprised grunt when he saw the arrow hit the target, on the outskirts, but still. For someone who had never touched a bow before it was impressive.

McCree turned back to him, his grin all teeth. “Now do ya look at that, that’s not half bad.” Hanzo approached him, offering another arrow. “Told ya I’m one of the best shots in the States.”

“I’ll be impressed once you hit the center,” Hanzo teased. “Although it seems it won’t be that too much of a challenge for ‘Deadeye’ now.” 

“Yeah, yeah. When I get that bullseye I’ll want my hat back.” He looked up for a moment before adding on. “And a kiss.”

Hanzo chuckled, amused at the requests. He tipped the hat up, attempting his best at the mimicking his accent. “Ya have yerself a deal there partner.”

McCree shook his head as he notched the next arrow. “Honey, sweet pea, apple of my eye. Y’know I like ya but that was just terrible.” He laughed, as Hanzo wrapped his arms around his waist from behind. 

“I guess I’ll have to work on my cowboy impression.” He smiled into the back of his neck before raising his arms to adjust his stance. “But we’ll need to work on your form first. It’s not bad, but holding a bow is not like handling a revolver.” He gripped his hips, “Your feet are too wide, just keep them aligned with your shoulders.” McCree shifted, although he felt his body stiffen. “Tsk tsk, you are too tense. Your grip needs to be  _ relaxed _ .” McCree grunted, his body warm against Hanzo’s. He took a deep breath, the tension seeping out after a few exhales. Hanzo gave him a reassuring squeeze on the shoulder. “Good. Now keep your fingers aligned on the bowstring, an angle will throw off your aim.” His grabbed his hand, leading him to the string. His arm trailed with his as McCree drew it back. “Now when you release, let your fingers slip forward. Keep your position steady, back straight.” Jesse was silent, only his breathing audible to Hanzo. He could feel the tension in his back, his shoulders taught before he took the shot.

Hanzo had to take a second glance, as the arrow shot straight into the large crevice in the center, with a satisfying thump. 

McCree nearly knocked Hanzo over as he jumped up, fist in the air. “FUCK YEAH!” He turned to Hanzo who was still baffled and starry eyed. He was truly a good shot, a great shot. Perhaps the best aim that Hanzo had ever seen. 

He was smiling as he pulled out an arrow. “Try again.” It could’ve been luck, or even his advice on physically leading him through the steps.

Jesse cocked an eyebrow and took it, easily hitting the center ring of the target. Hanzo took the hat off placing it over his heart in amazement. He handed him another arrow, and another, and another all hitting their mark. Hanzo was mystified, his quiver was empty and the target was decorated with arrows at this point. Apparently his boasts had merit to them after all. 

“How about that, I’m a natural born archer!” Jesse glanced back at Hanzo who was still in awe. “Honey? Cat got your tongue?” 

Hanzo placed the hat carefully on top of his head. “Well it looks like you won. Apparently I am dating a cowboy version of Robin Hood.” He stared into Jesse’s excited eyes fondly. “You are truly the best shot in the West.”

McCree leaned forward cockily. “If I do recall, I get more than my hat.” He closed his eyes, puckering his lips out where Hanzo grabbed his chin to kiss his cheek. 

“You are beautiful.” Hanzo whispered in his ear. “Especially when handling my bow.”

That was enough to turn Jesse into a blushing mess, so Hanzo decided it was probably time for the wine. He walked back to the truck picking up his bag and a blanket. He laid out the quilt on a nice spot of grass, pulling the bottle out of his backpack with an expectant look as Jesse finally composed himself.

“Ah sugar you shouldn’t have,” he eagerly helped take off the lid. 

“It isn't that fancy, I don't even have any glasses.” Hanzo was fairly sure it wasn't a good year, it was cheap wine that was easy to steal. However the way Jesse took several swigs from the bottle suggested that it was fine. 

“Oh how will I ever cope?” McCree joked, handing the bottle to hanzo who took a sip. “I, Jesse McCree, am a man of high standards and only drink wine out of crystal.” 

Hanzo laughed, the alcohol warming his stomach. It had been a while since he had the chance to drink, although he missed sake dearly. The wine would have to do, maybe it paired well with the cheap cheese he had as well. “My sincerest apologies, I should have thought better than to give a world class shot just the bottle. I must've been too captivated by your talent.” 

Jesse sat down, pulling Hanzo with him. “What can I say? It's God's only gift to me.” He kissed his cheek softly. “Well I guess not the only one anymore.” 

Hanzo felt his ear tips burn, and couldn't contain a grin. He buried his face into Jesse's chest, the scent of smoke and sweat heavy on the flannel. It was nice, spending the day like this with him. 

They drank more along with snacking on crappy cheese and crackers as the sun began to set down past the horizon. The country night sky was beautiful, dark and never ending. Hanamura was often too bright, the city always alive that Hanzo didn't think there were this many stars, that it was possible for them to go off forever. 

Forever. He knew he would never forget this day, but how long did this go on for? Hanzo was no fool, he knew he couldn't stay here for the rest of his life as much as he knew Jesse couldn't either. They were from two separate worlds that unexpectedly collided in the most backwater small town. Where did they go from this? Hanzo knew what Genji would tell him, to not overthink it and enjoy the now, but how could he not contemplate the future when the present was so good and fleeting? Hanzo wasn't used to pleasantries especially ones that lasted this long. There was always a catch, always something waiting around the corner to take him back to square one. Back to being a dutiful son, reverting him back to life of reclusiveness and resentment. 

Hanzo bit his lip, he shouldn't be thinking like this. He was a twenty year old man, stargazing with a ruggedly handsome man who was holding his hand. It was simple, it was romantic. Yet he couldn't help but feel fear creep through his mind and into his chest. Perhaps it was the alcohol that was raising his paranoia, but he knew in his heart that he didn't want this to end. For them to end. He wanted to keep making Jesse smile, to hear his whimsical stories and odd American sayings. That he wanted to keep going shooting with him, to drink under the moon and that each other's company would be enough. His chest ached at the notion that he would never get to do this again, that he would have to go back to restless nights staring at the stars through only bolted windows.

Jesse brought him back to reality, his voice deep and low. “Yknow, I think this might've been the longest I've ever been with a guy.” 

“For me as well,” Hanzo left out the part where he never really dated anyone, it was an unnecessary detail. “What brings this up?”

“It just got me thinking is all,” his face was flushed from the wine, the bottle near empty. They had both drank too much but the alcohol warmed him to where the night air didn't bother him as much. “I never saw myself as someone who was big on commitment yknow? Now I see I was wrong. I just hadn't met someone I wanted to stick around with.” 

Hanzo turned to his side, “For me it is odd to have a choice in the matter. I was told who I was going to marry when I was about fourteen and dropped any romantic pursuits since I thought it would be meaningless.” He sighed. “I suppose things have changed since then.” 

McCree huffed. “I don't think I ever seriously considered marriage anytime in my life. I mean I'm a teenage outlaw always getting shot at, not a lot of prospects of a family or anything.” He grew quiet for a minute. “Han, don't laugh at me or anything but I  _ did _ fantasize about eloping a bit. Y’know find someone pretty and take them to Paris and propose or some shit. Drink some fancy European champagne and just leave my bounty behind.” He looked thoughtfully out at the sky.

Hanzo found the notion outlandish as romantic. He mused that what they had was the closest thing to eloping that Hanzo had done, at least the leaving unexpected part. “You have a bounty?”

Jesse turned his head shyly away, his ear tips pink. “Hah, well yeah. Not that I think anyone’s looking for it at the moment. Most folk think I’m dead.”

“Oh.” The night was still, only the sound of insects chirping filled the air. Hanzo reveled in the isolation of it all. Being alone with Jesse where no one would find them felt almost like a dream. “Paris though? So you’re a romantic after all.” He teased, running his fingers through McCree’s hair. “The city of love.”

He snorted, batting his hand away. “I thought you wouldn’t laugh at me.”

Hanzo grabbed his hand bringing it to his face. “I never made that promise.” He grinned, “And I’m not laughing. I think it’s sweet.”

He rubbed his thumb over Hanzo’s cheek gently. “I think you’re sweet as honey cake. But also full of shit.” He laid his head back down after giving him a peck on the lips. 

He was silent, his gaze lost in the abyss of stars. Hanzo couldn't help but watch him, soaking up every line and detail of his face. He wished this could last forever, just two souls gazing into the heavens a bit lost and broken but trying. 

“It's so beautiful,” McCree gestured towards the blackness that surrounded them. 

“It really is,” Hanzo replied quietly, his gaze glued onto Jesse. His freckles reminded him of constellations, clouded by the stubble on his face. He hadn't shaved in a while, but Hanzo didn't mind. If anything facial hair suited him, and at this point he was attracted to him far past merely a physical basis. He was kind, generous, funny, and brave. He was smarter than he let on, and more sentimental than expected. Hanzo had never thought he'd meet a man like him, to fall for him and to have it reciprocated. Everything in his life had been predictable, all part of the grand master plan for the Shimada Clan. But now it was different. McCree was the wild card that he so desperately needed that caught him blindsided.

Jesse looked over, a soft smile across his red face. “What is it sugar, you're staring?” 

“Just appreciating the beauty of the night,” he cooed reaching over to kiss his cheek. 

Jesse giggled in response. “Ya sure are spoiling me today.” He leaned into Hanzo's touch as he brushed stray hairs out of his eyes. “What's the occasion?”

Hanzo didn't know where to start. He was grateful for all he had done for them, all that he went out of his way to make him and his brother’s life a little easier. Jesse had also shown him what it meant to have fun, to be cared about unconditionally. He was someone he could turn to for comfort, someone he could simply kiss and hold. McCree was fully and uniquely an experience he had never had. An experience he had fallen in love with. 

That's when it hit Hanzo, like a force of wind crashing into his chest leaving him breathless. He was in love with Jesse. 

“As you might have noticed I am not the best with words when it comes to my emotions,” Hanzo grinned the alcohol and giddiness in his chest blossoming after his realization. “So I wanted to  _ show  _ you. That you are a dear friend to me and much, much more.” His expression softened, Hanzo's fingertips brushed over his chin. “You mean the world to me Jesse, I have never known a man like you and I doubt I ever will meet another... I hope I am not weirding you out,” he laughed nervously realizing how vulnerable he felt. “Again, I am not very good with words.” 

Jesse sat up quickly, catching Hanzo off guard. “No! No you're not weirding me out at all I just,” he looked down, a smile lingering on his lips. “I really care about you too and… I guess it makes me real happy to hear ya feel the same.” He took one of Hanzo's hands kissing the palm. “Thank you Hanzo, I mean it. Today has been amazing.” 

He leaned forward, relieved. “Anything to make you smile.” He relished in the way Jesse blushed, how the redness of his face bled down to his neck. Such simple compliments went so far, but Hanzo meant every word. He was in love, for the first time in his life, he was in love. Hanzo reached forward lacing his fingers with his before laying back down. The sky was vast and dark and beautiful. Hanzo never felt so alive, he could feel the blood pumping through his veins like electricity. 

Jesse laid beside him, squeezing his hand. “You're out to steal my heart ain't ya?”

“Something like that,” he replied, fondness swelling in his chest. He turned on his side to kiss him, slow and deep. McCree was more than happy to reciprocate, a desperation to his touch.

“What is it?” Hanzo sat up, running a hand through McCree's hair. 

His voice was quieter than usual. “I...I just don't want to lose you.” He sat up leaning his head on his shoulder. “I don't have a lot of good things in this life but I'll be damned if I keep losing them. If I lose you.” He sounded unexpectedly hopeless.

Hanzo wasn't sure where this was coming from, perhaps he was pondering the longevity of them as well. All he knew for certain is that when his voice cracked Hanzo's chest tightened. He rubbed his back soothingly, trying his best to comfort him. “I am right here Jesse,” he murmured in his ear. “And I don't plan on going anywhere.” He held him close, his breathing out of sync with Hanzo’s. They stayed there for a moment, before Jesse raised his head to kiss his cheek. 

“You're way too damn perfect you know that?” He didn’t know if he sounded relieved or sad. 

Hanzo laughed warmly, accepting the kisses that trailed down his neck. “And you are too damn beautiful.” He gasped with Jesse's lips reaching a sensitive spot around his ear. “And too good of a shot.” McCree growled pressing himself tighter to Hanzo. 

“You sweet talker, know just what to say to get a fella all hot and bothered.” His skin was pressed against his, Hanzo felt like his shirt was almost suffocating. 

He reached a hand under Jesse's button-up, running his hand over his stomach and chest. He felt strong and hairy which wasn't much of a surprise. “I think you are wearing too many clothes,” Hanzo purred into his ear. “Wouldn't you agree?” 

McCree froze for a second, as if his brain was buffering. His eyes widened. “Are you serious? Like.. do you want to?”

“Today is about me making you feel good.” He wrapped his hands around his hips pressing his lips to the side of his mouth. “And I've been wanting to for some time.” Hanzo had put more thought into a situation like this more than he’d like to admit. After the close call in the warehouse, he often found himself daydreaming of McCree’s hands on his body, how’d it feel, how’d  _ he  _ feel.  

Jesse beamed, standing up taking off his shirt with vigor. Hanzo noticed a tattoo that expanded across his shoulders, a skull with wings and a lock underneath. A tattoo wasn’t something out of character for Jesse, but he wondered what meaning it held to him. Hanzo lost his train of thought, as Jesse clumsily stripped his jeans and boots and was only in his boxers. Hanzo wondered how he wasn't so cold, but how quickly he came back to huddle against him told him otherwise. 

“Distracted?” He said cheekily slightly out of breath, pulling at the edges of Hanzo's hoodie. He felt embarrassed for staring when he should've probably be following in suit. 

Hanzo nervously took off his hoodie and top, knowing that long scars that riddled his back were showing. It was nonsensical, along with the tattoo McCree also had his fair share of marks, short ragged white lines that contrasted his tanned skin. His breath was caught in his lungs with Jesse touching his back gently, almost reverently. 

“You are gorgeous,” he hummed into the back. “Body and soul.”

Hanzo turned to him, blushing as he worked himself out of his pants. He knew McCree understood, that he understood pain, that in a way both of them were far more troubled than they realized. That in all the world Jesse might be the one soul that cared about him with no strings attached.

“I love you,” Hanzo crashed his lips against Jesse’s, almost eager to not hear a response. He had no idea if he felt the same way, if he would vocalize such but somehow Hanzo didn’t care. The man he loved was in his arms and that was enough, at least for tonight. He reached down wrapping his hand around Jesse’s length. He heard him choke out a moan as he worked his hand, easing his apprehension that swirled around his gut. 

“Oh baby,” he blabbered, pulling Hanzo closer to pepper his neck with kisses.

Hanzo's chest and cheeks were red, he could feel the burn of his body flushing along with his own arousal. He had never done anything like this before, with a woman or man but he figured he could wing it. The way soft but loud noises escaped Jesse's mouth were encouraging that this was enjoyable. 

Jesse seemed to notice his nerves nevertheless. “What’s wrong?” Concern was all he could see in his brown eyes as he reached down taking Hanzo’s hand in his.

He butted his head on McCree’s shoulder, attempting to hide his blush. “I..I just have never been with a man before. I don’t want to something wrong.” He continued, not wanting to hear Jesse laugh. “I know, it’s embarrassing.” He hated his insecurity in the situation, Shimada’s had a strong sense of pride. Yet he felt vulnerable against McCree, a barrier broken and created all the same.

To his surprise, he didn’t hear a witty retort, but only his heavy breathing. He looked up seeing McCree’s eyes lidded and mild. “Oh sweet pea,” he reached up grabbing his chin. “You shouldn’t worry so much, it’ll give you wrinkles.” He pressed his lips against his eagerly, Hanzo unable to suppress a smile. He gently scooted Hanzo closer against his lap, his legs curling around his back. “Is this okay?” McCree pressed his forehead against his, their lengths dangerously close to each other. Hanzo quickly nodded, wrapping his arms around his shoulders, steadying himself. He was cold, naked on an old blanket in the middle of the woods in winter yet his skin felt boiling, red and warm and flushed against Jesse’s. He trusted him. He loved him. Hanzo tilted his head up into a long kiss that ended with a gasp when Jesse took them both with his hand. 

He kept them at a slow rhythm, his other arm draped across Hanzo’s side, fingers digging into his skin. Hanzo had never felt desire that ached from his gut to his chest so harshly, that even pressed into each other he didn’t feel close enough to him. Hanzo loved him, from his southern endearments to his taste in music, even from his dark past to his current shady-at-best occupation. Jesse was a talented, handsome, witty outlaw with a deep drawl that despite it all had given Hanzo the time of day, showed him the beauty in simplicity and in freedom. He was in awe of him, from the scars and tattoo on his back down to the way the curves of his body felt perfect against his own. McCree picked up the pace eliciting a low moan. Hanzo dragged his teeth into the muscle that connected his neck to his shoulder, nails digging into flushed skin. He tasted of sweat, smoke, and passion, Hanzo came first a quiet whimper escaping his lip, his grip tightening on Jesse. He knew his nails were pressed too hard for comfort, but it was enough to send Jesse over the edge, choking on a cry as he buried his face into Hanzo’s shoulder. It was quiet for a minute, only the sound of crickets and heavy panting along with each man’s arms wrapped around the other. 

Hanzo reached over to kiss him, savoring his breathlessness, his lips red and swollen. Jesse laughed, the tremors of his body rumbling against Hanzo. “It looks like we made a bit of mess doll.”

“Yeah,” coherent and complete sentences still evaded his mind. He wanted him, his scent, his kisses, his bad jokes, he wanted it all. Hanzo couldn’t help but whine when he eventually stood up, legs a bit wobbly.

“I think I got a towel in the truck, I’ll be back.” He leaned down pressing his lips to Hanzo’s, fondness written over his face. “Promise.”

Hanzo laid down, admiring the view and scenery. He was smitten, entirely and utterly smitten. Hanzo doubted he would ever meet someone who made him feel quite this way. Not just the physical attraction, but the wantedness, the intimacy. The stupid jokes comparing accuracy, the insistent teasing. He had never had a bond like this with someone else, and he wasn’t sure he wanted one with anyone else. Jesse was one of a kind.

McCree made an attempt to clean them up, although he seemed thoroughly distracted. 

“What is it cowboy?” Hanzo teased, stretching on his back. 

He swallowed hard, throwing the towel to the side. “Sorry for the staring darlin, but you look too damn good naked.” He reached over to Hanzo who caught his hand, bringing his thumb to his lips biting lightly.

“The feeling is mutual.” He purred which only had Jesse blushing all over again. He laid down next to Hanzo, throwing an arm around his chest. 

“You like it?” He knew he was referring to his first time. Hanzo had always assumed it would be his wife on his wedding night; a hand job in Oklahoma was not what he was expecting. Not that he minded. 

“Very much so,” Jesse grinned at that, inching closer to nuzzle his neck.

“So that means again in the morning?” 

Hanzo playfully swatted his face, “You cannot be suggesting we sleep out here. I am already freezing.”

Jesse chuckled, holding him a little tighter as if that would stop the night’s breeze. “I know baby, I know.” He sighed heavily. “I just don’t want tonight to ever end.”

“What’s happening tomorrow?” He asked absently, running his hand over Jesse’s hair, his head now against his chest.

He was quiet for a minute, he wondered if Jesse could hear his heartbeat. “Boss is coming back to town, big meeting.”

“I’m assuming it’s classified.” McCree’s laugh was short. 

“Something like that.”

Hanzo didn’t want the night to end either, but he knew he had to go back to the warehouse. With the state their lives were in, Genji would get worried if he was missing for the night. They had no other means of communication thanks to bugged cell phones, so the only way he knew that he was kidnapped off the face of the earth was a warm body count. Still, laying underneath the stars with Jesse wrapped around his arms would be a nice way to fall asleep.

He felt Jesse pepper a series of kisses to his chest before sitting up. “Well, I guess I better get dressed and take you home. Don’t wanna face the wrath of the little dragon.”

Hanzo huffed, slightly saddened with the missing weight on his chest. “It’s true I shouldn’t keep Genji waiting up too late. He is already a cranky morning person.” Jesse snorted as he pulled on his pair of jeans.

 

The drive back was quiet, Hanzo’s and Jesse’s fingers laced on top of the glove box. He rested his head on his shoulder, content with the closeness and silence of the night. He knew whatever the future held he would never forget Goodwell, that he could never forget McCree. He knew that he could never shake his past, the fact that he was the heir to the Shimada Clan and all that he had done in the name of that. He could never leave his family, they left stains and marks on him, mentally and physically. But that didn’t mean he couldn’t progress from it, that his past didn’t have to hold him from his future. He was a Shimada, but in a way Hanzo believed he could redefine what that meant. That he was a dragon, but maybe he could tame and change it’s ways. That tradition didn’t have to repeat itself.

All too soon the warehouse was back in view. He leaned in for a quick peck on the lips before leaving the truck.

“See you tomorrow my love,” Hanzo kissed his hand from the window. 

Jesse took an extra moment to reply, his eyes resting on his hand. “Yeah.” He reached out, stealing one more kiss. “I look forward to it.” 

As he drove away Hanzo couldn’t help but sense there was something off to his tone, that his eyes had looked sad. He didn't have much time to reflect before he heard a “Tsk tsk” from the door. 

He saw Genji grinning ear to ear at him, as if he knew exactly what he had done. 

“You guys did  _ it _ didn't you.” 

He sighed, too tired to argue and went inside ready for a bombardment of embarrassing questions. He still had tomorrow to look forward to. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO, long story short next chapter is the halfway point which I am sorry to say is when shit hits the fan. I am a not really used to writing smutty parts so if that was awkward that's my bad. NEVERTHELESS, I have spring break coming up so I'll try to get some nice uploads during that week, thanks again for all the support!
> 
> want to talk for any reason? hmu on tumblr @draconicfly or twitter @draconic_fly


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so it begins, we've reached the half way point, although 20 is a tentative number I'm still not certain how many chapters it'll be, though 20 is the max I'd say. Again, thanks for the all the support all of your comments and kudos is why I keep writing! I edit everything myself so any mistake is my own.

 

A heaviness weighed in his heart and lungs, Jesse could hardly breath the entire drive back to base. He was a man who never expected much in life, never dreamed to hope, never believed in a better tomorrow. McCree had gotten this far by luck and being a natural born shot, yet he always believed his time was short and fleeting. This was one of the days he felt this strongly, that he could literally hear the ticking in his head.

Hanzo loved him, he said as much before they shared their first night together. He had been so gentle and sweet, essentially pampering him the whole day since he knew Jesse was stressed. He loved him, Hanzo Shimada the heir to an infamous crime syndicate, trained assassin and bowman, told him he loved him under the stars of a clear night sky. He bit his lip, struggling with his own inner turmoil that boiled in his gut. Of course Jesse loved him back, how could he not? Hanzo was handsome and witty, a force of nature not to be reckoned with yet as gentle as a summer breeze. He intrigued him, engaged him, hell the guy even understood him or at least tried. And still he was also the man he was hired to find, the key to Blackwatch’s mission in Goodwell. Reyes would expect that key today. The numbness almost clogged his throat.

His mind went racing, he knew he needed a plan, hell he needed  _ something.  _ Panic nipped at him, not quite overwhelming but persistent, letting him know of it’s presence. Today was the day he had been dreading for the last week, he had meant to tell Hanzo tonight, to tell him what was going on. To tell him to leave. However, he didn’t realize that how selfish he was, how much his time with Hanzo had really meant to him. Every second, every fleeting moment was magical, something he couldn’t ruin couldn’t taint with the undesirable truth. He hadn’t planned on falling for him, not this deeply, not where the thought of him leaving left caused his chest to ache. Hanzo loved him, and he was damned if he didn’t love him back. He was supposed to end things, not muddle them up ever further. Jesse laughed darkly musing how making mistakes seemed like his only hobby nowadays.

A few other agents littered the halls despite it being ungodly early. He made it to his room, just grunting in reply as a few ‘Hey Jesses’ and nods that were directed towards him. He couldn’t make eye contact, he couldn’t speak. He felt locked down, cold and robotic. McCree managed to lay in bed, lighting a cigarette and looking through the photos in his wallet. Pain in his heart pinched and twisted at the way how Hanzo eyes were glued to him, gazing at him like Jesse was the goddamn sun.  _ Liar. Punk. Thief.  _ The words echoed in his mind, what his old Deadlock boss had said when he had learned Blackwatch offered him a job. The old man had been executed shortly, but the disdain and venom in his voice had carried through, had never truly left him. He wondered if that was true, if that would be all he could ever be. It awfully felt like it.

The smoke only deepened his haze, his fingers trailing over Hanzo’s smile on a dimly lit photograph. He was beautiful, fully and completely. It ranged from his dragon tattoo, to his concern, to his protective nature that McCree wasn’t worthy of. He deserved so much more, someone who could take care of him, who would do him rightly. His mind went to Genji, bright eyed and always sporting a wide grin. He promised him that he would do good by Hanzo, that he would never hurt him. He wondered if he had been lying then, that if he knew deep down that it was impossible. That love and happiness were never written in the conclusion of the book of McCree. He had no clue what he was going to say when Reyes arrived. 

He was in a catch twenty two. He could tell Hanzo or Reyes the truth, but either way he would be betraying someone who meant a lot to him. He could either lie to the man who saved him from a life of crime, who gave him another chance and didn’t just toss him to the streets. He could lie to the man that was like a father to him, or he could deceive the man he loved, the man he’d give anything in the world to merely see him smile. He was torn in two directions, the winds of the east and west splitting his hairs for at least the past month. It was only now, that he had to make a choice. That for too long did he act like he could have his cake and eat it too. He was at the end of his rope.

Jesse wasn’t sure when he had fallen asleep, he had not dressed down or bathed and woke up with an excruciating headache. He was slightly hung over, only managing to drag himself to his bathroom to try to freshen up. Nausea clouded his senses, his eyes were bloodshot and he looked like shit and felt like hell. Great. He had no earthly idea what the time was now, nor did he care much. He avoided checking his phone, expecting a text with something like ‘My office in fifteen’. He couldn’t keep running, and he couldn’t avoid Gabe forever, but lord did he want to. He wondered if he could just sleep the day away, having Reyes take pity on him and drop the subject. He knew that would never happen, that Reyes put the job before anything and anyone else. That’s why Blackwatch worked, it always performed it’s function like the nice cog in a well oiled machine. The catch was they didn’t ask how he got it done.

Cold water helped wake him up, he splashed his face a few times trying to shake off his fog in his head. Feeling bad for himself was all fine and good, but it didn’t get him anywhere. He may be a fuck up, an outlaw, and a good for nothing son of a bitch but he would not be ruled by inaction. That’s how he had gotten this far, one boot in front of the other he kept going forward. It was the only thing he could be sure about, the one thing that was an absolute in a world full of multiple moving variables. He would do what it took to survive and to be true to himself. He was a simple man with simple wishes, and all be damned if he couldn’t manage at least that. He had to keep pushing, until his muscles ached until he couldn’t possibly take one more step. Always forward, never back.

He undressed, turning on the shower to the hottest temperature. Uneasinness clinged to his skin, and he mused perhaps he could boil it off. His gaze fell on his reflection, the hot water already causing the room to steam. His eyes looked sunken in, face gaunter than usually giving the appearance that he was a much older man. He hadn’t shaved in a few days, the stubble was shadowing his face. Dark marks trailed down his neck to his chest, the events of last night still fresh in his mind. He had held Hanzo, felt his naked body against his own, the scent of sweat and sex mixed with wine still lingering on himself. When he shut his eyes he could still feel his lips on his skin, his teeth biting into his shoulder. He didn’t know how he would give this up, if he could. He was confused and tired but he was in love. God he didn’t want to be in love.

The shower helped ease him awake, though he wasn’t sure if that was an entirely good thing. The gravity of the situation had finally settled down on him, he knew he was throughly fucked over. Panic flowed through his veins, his hands shaking as he tried to turn off the water. He didn’t know what to do, he had no one to turn to, no one to seek advice from. He was on his own, just as he had always been as he had always dreaded. He spurned loneliness, he hated that he had been foolish enough to believe that he was getting somewhere in life, a new job, a new home. A new love.

As if it was a brick of fiery coals, he quickly threw the phone on the bed, flipping it over. No messages, but it was half past two already. On a typical day, this is when he’d go check on the Shimada’s, have a late lunch at the diner and listen to one of Genji’s wild retellings of their day. He closed his eyes, imagining how nice it would be, the excitement in his voice as he told some hyperbole, Hanzo’s hand loosely holding onto his under the table. It was too good to be true, the essence of dreams, and yet it had been a reality for him a mere day ago. Sadly, the tides were changing and it wasn’t in his favor. Bitterness soaked his soul, nothing could ever go his way.  

He plopped down next to the phone, only managing to pull on a pair of sweatpants. He felt tired, sick and tired of the complications that came along with just being him. For once in his life, he wanted something simple, something good yet all he had was wistful thoughts and bad situations. He wondered if he was cursed, or that he did something in a past life to warrant his suffering. He didn’t plan on it, but he found himself drifting off into another nap only to wake up to his phone ringing insistently. 

“Aw shit,” he murmured sleepiness refusing to leave him. It had been a while since he’d been able to actually rest more than three hours at a time, and it was taking it’s toll. His body felt sore, his mind addled, and seeing the caller ID didn’t help.

He contemplated not answering, blaming it on sleeping in but he thought twice. Being rung in was better than Reyes barging into his room and dragging his ass out. After a few more nervous moments he picked up his cell.

“Howdy,” he tried keeping his voice steady in an attempt to hide his nerves. It felt like he ate a week old hotdog, the way his stomach was doing flips. 

“McCree,” there was no mistaking his commander’s voice. “Good to see you’re still kicking.” There was a bit of humor in his voice, whatever happened on his trip must’ve gone well.

“Same to you too,” Jesse brought his knees to his chest, back pressed to the wall. “What’s up?” He didn’t know why he attempted pleasant conversation, there was no way in hell this conversation didn’t end up with Jesse in his office with a report. He mused he was out of tricks up his sleeve, that he was up to try anything at this point. Maybe he craved normal human interaction after a week with no Reyes.

“Didn’t get any email updates from you so I’m expecting an oral report kiddo,” Gabe’s voice was curt. “So you need to--”

“Be there in fifteen,” Jesse cut him off, covering his eyes with his other hand. He knew the drill too well.

“Good, you do catch on,” he teased, he could hear a smile in his voice. He was in unnaturally high spirits which completely contrasted Jesse. He was biting back tears, refusing to let that piece of pride sink to his own levels of sorrow.

“Yeah,” he replied flatly. He took a deep breath, aiming his face away from the phone so he wouldn’t hear the sharp inhale. “I’ll see ya then.” He hung up before Reyes spoke, feeling the muscles in his back tighten into knots. He desperately needed direction, yet he was as clueless as he was on the night of the carnival, the night it all started going to hell. 

It took a few minutes for McCree to get out of bed, his joints popping from stiffness. He managed to change into his usual jeans and shirt, tying his trademark red bandanna around his neck. He walked over to the mirror, running his hand through his hair trying to tame it’s mess to no avail. For the first time in a long time, he looked small to himself. He looked like he did back when he was in Deadlock, sullen and hungry, a desperation to his visage. He sighed heavily, placing his hat on his head. He knew what he had to attempt. 

The walk to his office felt long and terrifying, more so than normally. His heart was nearly beating out of his chest, just out of sync with the knot in his stomach tightening. When he got to the door it seemed to tower over him, a looming dark force that he had no hope against. He rose his hand to knock several times before finally doing it, a cold thunk signing the end of it. He checked his phone, exactly fifteen minutes since the call, he was uncharacteristically on time. He played with the idea that it was like taking off a bandaid, better done quick than beating around the bush. 

After no response, he opened the door venturing his best smile. If this was going to work he'd need Reyes in a good mood which hanging up on him probably didn't help his cause. 

“Howdy Boss,” his voice as upbeat as he could muster. “How’d the trip go?”

Reyes turned the chair around, taking a long sip of what he would assume to be coffee. “Actually on time McCree you better watch out. Before you know it, you’ll have standards to uphold.” He laughed to himself before continuing. “Everything went accordingly,” he sighed shaking his head. “Just glad to be somewhere quiet although I’m hoping that we’ll be leaving soon.” His gaze was expectant. “What do you have for me Jesse?”

His hands felt clammy against his sides. “Well, you see,” he tried his best to sound optimistic. “I really don’t think--”

“Oh before you report I’ll tell you what  _ I  _ know.” His tone was professional as he lifted up the tablet. “I have gotten reports that at least one Shimada is here for sure, here look.” He flipped the screen towards Jesse, his breath caught in his throat. Green hair, a toothy grin, and holding hands with Julia he saw a photo of Genji outside the diner. Someone had taken this picture, someone  _ knew _ they were here. He suddenly felt nauseous, taking the opportunity to sit down. 

“So?” Reyes was staring at him, obviously reading into his body language. McCree knew better than to wear his emotions on his sleeve but the thing about a gut wrenching sensation is that it demanded to be felt, to have a response. “Do you know where they’re staying?” 

_ They’re.  _ “It looks like just one is in town,” Jesse managed to speak, his voice steady. “Probably staying with the girlfriend by the looks of it. Who took this photo?”

Something flashed in Reyes eyes and he knew he gave the wrong answer. He knew it, Gabriel knew it, but God he couldn’t go back now.

“It doesn’t matter  _ who _ took the photo Jesse.” he sounded annoyed, he was undoubtedly testing his patience. “What matters is that it exists. Along with others, so be honest with me. Why are you protecting them?”

He was silent, feeling like a kid who was caught stealing a cookie. A series of answers raced through his mind; they were escaping an abusive family, they didn’t ask to be born into crime, they reminded him of himself, lord they were his only damn friends. That he loved them. What actually came out of his mouth was quite different, his voice eerily calm. “What do you know?”

Reyes perked an eyebrow, gaging if to scold him or play along. He decided on the latter. “That you know where those boys are. That you’ve known for a while by the way you’re lying through your teeth for them.” Jesse’s gaze was stuck on the floor as he went on. “I like you kid, but there are rules in Blackwatch. Lying to your commander is a  _ grievous _ offence McCree. I know your heart is in the right place, and that you’re not thinking clearly but I’m giving you a chance here. It can be simple, it can be taken care of. I can take of it.” He strummed his fingers across his desk. “Help me to help you. Where are the Shimadas?”

He bit the bottom of his lip, cutting the chapped flesh. “If you know so much how don’t ya already know? Or is squeezing the info out of me some sort of sick way to prove my loyalty?” He knew he was out of line, but at this point what did he have to lose? Reyes already knew, he had  _ known.  _ Jesse was fighting a lost battle from the start. He had never had hope, it was all false pretenses. 

Reyes face was stern, like reading a straight line there was no sign of emotion. No wavering, no weakness. “I know you're lying and that there’s this photo. Believe it or not I've had other problems to deal with that have nothing to do with this.” He leaned back in his chair. “So be honest Jesse. The quicker you tell me the quicker this is all over. It benefits both of us, it benefits Blackwatch.” 

A fire lit in his chest, he was angry. Jesse was no fool, he was playing with him, trying to hold his hand to the right answer. The problem was McCree didn’t want this to be over, he knew it didn’t benefit him or the brothers. It had been years since he felt as close to a person as he did to Hanzo, he wasn’t sure if he had ever had _._ How could ending that be anything other than tragedy for him? “I'm telling you that you are full of shit Reyes, that you and all of Blackwatch are full of stinkin, fucking shit. You go on and on about how we gotta get our hands dirty for the greater good, but all ya really want to do is the easy route.” His voice wavered as he was overwhelmed in emotion. “I'll tell ya why I'm protecting them, because they're fucking kids Gabe! Genji's a teen and Hanzo is barely older than me! Now I'm not saying I'm too young for this shit, we both know that, but when it comes down to it we're taking kids back to their abusive, piece of shit, parents. I’ve seen the scars, Reyes, the physical, the mental...we can’t take them back to their abusers. That's not fucking right, there's no way in hell that it is. If something as sick as that is what it takes for the greater good, then is the greater good even worth it?” The words tumbled out like thunder, he didn't care who Reyes was or what he could do. McCree had been stepped on and used so much of his life that he wasn't going to let himself become what he hated. That every man had to have a line he wouldn't cross, and maybe he just found his. “Because I don't think it is. I really, really don't.” 

The tension in the air was thick enough to cut, Gabriel's silence only adding to it. He couldn't read him, the man had the best poker face Jesse had ever seen. He didn't even realize that he was crying before he tossed a handkerchief to him. “Clean yourself up kid,” he sounded tired. “Didn't think you were such an idealist, after all you've been through.” He looked at him sadly, as if Jesse reminded him of someone. He wasn't sure if he should be frightened by it or angered by his pity. “Look, I'm going to tell you something and you're not going to like it. The world isn't fair, it never has been and it never will be. Bad people will always continue to exist and do bad things despite all of our efforts, all of Overwatch’s efforts. The notion of justice is solely a notion. You'll have to come to grips with this, that reality doesn't give a shit.” He exhaled deeply. “Maybe it isn't the greater good, how do you calculate it? With numbers? That the price of two lives in turn will save many? Do you see yourself as selfless, that through this you are someone absolving yourself of past sins?” He shook his head, his hands at his temple. “Jesse I'm going to ask one more time, where are the Shimada’s.”

“First you tell me why you’re doing this? Why are you telling me any of this?” This was unfair, he hated how he felt small and like a kid. He hated that the even gaze Reye’s gave him was equally unnerving as comforting. He hated this.

He took a long breath. “Because you’d learn eventually and it might as well be me to break the news for you. That to survive in this line of work you have to adapt, you have to make sacrifices. You have to do things you don’t fucking like. Now McCree.”

McCree was slouched on the chair, arms crossed. The fire in his chest smoldered, his rage tangible. It was all just numbers to him, despite it being real people with real lives. It wasn’t that simple, it wasn't fair. “You took me in,” he heard his voice crack, streaks of tears staining his cheeks. “Why can't you take them? They are both highly trained and definitely could help Blackwatch. Hell, they probably could solve the problem here without their folks intel, within a month, hell a week.” He inhaled shakily. “Please, Gabe. Give them the chance you gave me. Please.”

He hated the pity in Reyes eyes, the way he frowned. He knew what it meant. “It's more complicated than that,” he sighed turning his face from him. “But it is a nice thought. Go back to your room Jesse, that'll be all.” 

“What?” McCree didn't like the suddenness of it all. “What about the Shimada’s?” 

“I'll have someone else look into it, for now you're on lockdown. Stay put on base until I figure out what the hell to do with you. Now get the fuck out.” He gestured with his hand before rotating his chair back towards his computer. 

McCree didn't know how to respond what to say. He opened his mouth a few times, wanting to curse him, wanting to hate him but he ended up just storming back out into the hall slamming the door. The tears had stopped, leaving nothing behind. He felt numb inside. He ran back to his room, fumbling for his truck keys knowing he had to get to them, that he couldn't fail them again. He had to warn them, tell them to leave,  _ get _ them to leave. To where he'd never see them again. To where he'd never get to hold him again. To where he'd never get the chance to tell him he loved him. 

He grabbed the keys and snuck out the window, locking his door. He knew it’d be a matter of time before they noticed, but he didn't care. If he could relay his message before they caught him then it'd be worth it. Inaction had plagued him far too long, he had overstayed his time in his fantasy. Reality beckoned and it was screaming for the dragons to go north. 

The pickup truck sped across the country road, McCree ignoring any potholes and bumps. For the first time in a long time, his mind was clear. His goal was simple, and true hearted, he needed to get to Hanzo. To hear his voice, to see he was okay. Then after the night he had professed his love for Jesse, he'd have to break his heart. He hated it, he hated himself for letting it go this far, for letting everything becomes so out of control, so emotional. He didn't want this to end, for this to come crashing down but it was more important that they were safe. Reyes was wrong, Jesse knew he wasn't selfless, he had been born poor and took everything he could get, as selfish as they came. It was selfishness that drove him to stay quiet on both fronts, not only lying to Reyes but to Hanzo as well. He wasn't a good man, hell he was far from it but he could try to right it. He wasn't a righteous man but maybe he could do one righteous deed. 

He found himself in front of the warehouse door, hands shaking at his sides. He needed to knock, needed to get over with the deed before Reyes sent people to drag him back. Time was something he didn’t have a lot of yet time was the only thing he had to his name. He balled his hand up into a clammy fist, raising it to tap the door but found himself paralyzed. This was it, the end, the finale. He would most likely never see either Shimada after this, he would be fortunate to come out of his alive after how he had spoken to Reyes. Every smile, every kiss, every moment he had spent with Hanzo would be stashed as memories, nothing more nothing less. He hadn’t wanted it to be cut so short, a twist in his chest and a heaviness to his shoulders made him weary. There was no one in the world like him, and there would never be. He was one of a kind, a million to one chance that he would notice Jesse, that he would love him. Yet it had happened, every chapter of their short lived winter romance stored in McCree’s mind. It had been a little over a month that they had met and his life had completely been shaken. He’d like to think Hanzo changed him as a man, made him appreciate the little things more, hell he knew he made him notice the beauty of something as simple as the night sky. It had always been merely darkness to him before, but with Hanzo the light of the stars had never shined so brightly. When he was near he brought the best out of McCree, a feat that he thought impossible. He owed so much to him, a debt that he would never pay. Another sin to add to his ever growing list.

He knocked, each rap of his hand on the metal sounded as hollow as he felt. He was met with deafening silence, daring not to move as if the door would spring open at any moment. He heard nothing from the other side, no shuffles or murmurs in Japanese. He feared the worst, his hand still shaken as he reached up to the door. It opened with a creak, the lights dim with dust. It was empty, their possessions were there but no indication of either brother. Beds were unmade, the sheet that acted as a wall still hung tight. The frog vase still sat on the crate he had seen it last, roses beginning to wilt. He laughed at the irony of it all. 

McCree walked carefully around, investigating the oddity. Hanzo usually waited for him even late into the afternoon. His disappearance was all the more concerning knowing that agents were on the prowl, that whoever took that photo of Genji could be tracking them. His face grew pale with the realization that his pack was gone along with Genji’s sword and Hanzo’s bow. 

_ No. No, no, no, no, no, no.  _ They were safe, they had to be, this wasn’t happening, this definitely wasn’t happening. They were supposed to be here, he was supposed to tell them the truth, to tell them to leave. This was his chance to make it  _ right _ , his second chance. Instead he was taking sharp breaths, falling to his knees in an empty warehouse in Goodwell, utterly alone. They were gone. He was gone.

His mind rebounded with other ideas. Maybe they had just gone to the arcade, the diner, hell maybe they went to the park. That didn’t explain why their weapons were missing, but maybe they just had felt the need for extra protection. Reyes hadn’t sent anyone yet, they didn’t know, how could they? Jesse was a rat bastard for keeping it from them, but he needed to clear his mind of freezing paranoia. He needed to find the brothers.

The arcade wasn’t too far, he’d run over there and check and then loop back to the diner. Even if they weren’t there, Julia would be the one to know where they would be. Someone had taken a photo of her and Genji not too long ago near there, it would definitely be a target for more Blackwatch agents. Jesse needed godspeed desperately.

He ran to the arcade, his legs moving faster than he was used to, his breath quickening. The streets had about the normal amount of traffic, a few families out window shopping, a lady here and there walking their dog. Only in Goodwell would someone dressed like a cowboy running down the sidewalks like his life depended on it would go unnoticed. They were too occupied with their petty squabbles, their comfortable lives. Wake up, go to work, eat lunch, work some more, go home and then watch tv and eat dinner. Shower, sleep, repeat. It wasn’t a bad way to live he supposed, it was a lot less messy despite the boredom. It didn’t come with the bloodshed, the gangs, the underlying plots of crisis that afflicted Jesse’s life. It came without the heartbreak that keeping the harmful truth from a loved one could result in their death, or something perhaps worse. He knew Hanzo wouldn’t go without a fight, and he didn’t imagine Genji would either, but Blackwatch didn’t just let anyone join their ranks. If there was a conflict, there would be a fight, a nasty one. He really hoped it didn’t come to that.

He was winded at the front door, the rusty colored sign the same as always. He had hardly went here the first few months he was in town, Jesse had never fully understood the appeal of games. He had found them tiresome, and boring without an audience. A frown grew over his face as he opened the door and walked into the dim building. It was fun to play with Genji, his enthusiasm and persistence would make pong entertaining. He was going to miss that.

It didn’t take long to see that the arcade was as empty as the warehouse had been. No sounds of  exhausted sighs or curses in Japanese, the telltale signs of Genji playing. Jesse looked in the back, grimacing at the photo booth, only a day ago had he been smiling in it with the most beautiful man in his lap. Now all magic was gone, it had returned to a dusty black box with a dark red curtain, an eyesore. He doubted he would ever return to the arcade as he left, catching his breath before sprinting down the road. 

Smoking since he was twelve had been a bad choice he decided, the heaving of his chest more than it should be for a man his age in his shape. Drinking didn’t help, neither did his neurotic sleep patterns, but he pressed forward, feeling his jeans chaff against his skin. Still, he ran, he felt the cold wind against his face piercing his skin like sharp rain. He was running, running to Hanzo, running out of time. McCree felt like a man possessed, the directionlessness and desperation clawing at his throat. He had to get to the diner, they had to be there. It was only a matter of ‘when’ that Jesse would get caught and dragged back to base not if. This was his last shot, his only chance to redeem himself for his weeks of inaction. He wouldn’t be too late, not this time. This was too important.

McCree slammed the door open, breathing way too hard with his hands on his knees. A few patrons who were about to leave looked at him with concern, of note an old lady pulled out a handkerchief to dab his face. 

“You poor dear, gonna run yourself to death at this rate,” Jesse didn’t know the woman, and pawed her hand away though attempting a half charming grin.

“Thank ya kindly ma’am, but I think I got this covered.” She pressed the cloth to his forehead, soaking in the sweat on his brow. She smiled at him genuinely before walking out the door, an older man holding it open for her. Despite it all, Oklahoma had nice people however backwards they were compared to the rest of the world. It was odd how people cared about strangers, at least to a superficial extent. He adjusted his hat, a subtle smile growing on his face before he walked over to the counter.

A waitress stood there, her hand on her hip as she stared at her phone, with an unpleasant look on her face. McCree cleared his throat obnoxiously after standing in front of her for a few moments.

“Miss?” She frowned as she texted something and shoved her cell into her pocket. 

“What?” Her tone was annoyed, taking Jesse back to reality. The world wasn’t just nice old ladies, and he wasn’t here for pleasantries. He sighed heavily wiping his hands on his jeans.

“Julia wouldn’t happen to be around would she?” He scanned the diner finding it mostly empty with no sign of the brothers. “She on break or..?”

The girl scoffed, “Oh I  _ wish.  _ I have to work a double shift today since she didn’t show up. Didn’t even call in until this afternoon.” She rolled her eyes, which only brought attention to her thick eyes makeup.

“Yeah, see that they got you working real hard,” Jesse shifted uncomfortably. Julia wasn’t one to call in, she had a strong work ethic. It was more than a little unnerving since Blackwatch knew she was associated with Genji. “Uh you wouldn’t happen to know where she lives would ya? I got something to talk to her about.”

The girl perked an eyebrow. “Uh sorry but you’re not her type cowboy.” She laughed teasingly, making Jesse blush a bit. “She’s dating some Asian guy with green hair so I’d say you’re out of luck.”

Jesse shook his head, realizing that he should’ve worded it better. “Yeah,  _ no,  _ it actually involves her boyfriend so if you would--,” he stopped suddenly, the sound of the door opening catching his attention. Two men had just walked in, two men he recognized. He straightened out his back, instinctively raising his arm over the waitress protectively. 

“There he is, the prodigal son.” Rico and Michael were young Blackwatch agents like Jesse, but both had been there before he came into the picture. He never did care for either of them, both were meaner than a polecat.

“Didn’t take that long, thank fucking god,” Michael’s voice was slimy as his slicked black hair. He always looked shifty, his features were too pointy making McCree always feel somewhat uncomfortable by his presence. Rico was okay in comparison, a normal looking fellow. 

“Hey, Michael. Rico.” He smiled nervously tipping his hat. “How’s it hanging fellas?”

“You’ve got some nerve McCree,” Rico snarled, his small dark eyes squinting at him. “After all the shit you’ve pulled and Reyes still wants you back. I don’t see why you’re his damn favorite.”

They had drawn quite a bit of attention to themselves, Jesse could feel the eyes of the cooks and waitresses burning into the back of his head. Of course it had to happen in public, didn’t want to break his streak of bad luck.

“Look, I don’t wanna make a scene.” He shrugged his shoulders. He figured reasoning with them was a lost cause, but maybe they had enough decency to keep civilians out of it.

Both men scoffed, Rico’s arms crossed with Michael reaching towards his back. “We both know that’s a load of shit, now if you don’t want Michael to scare a lot of folks here you come quietly.” 

He knew they both were armed, and that both would be in a hell of a lot of trouble if they shot up the diner. Reyes would tan their hides, but he doubted if they cared rightly at this moment. Glancing back at the girl, the terror in her eyes told him he couldn’t risk it.

“Alright, alright,” he rose his hands up walking outside past them, the sound of his boots on the tile was all that was audible. The silence bit at his nerves, knowing that Michael was ready to pull his piece at any moment. He sunk his teeth into his lower lip, fighting the urge to talk off. It was more important that these people were safe than Jesse getting off a one liner to piss him off despite how much he wanted to. 

“Atta boy,” he felt the gun pressed to his back, Michael behind him. “Just keep that stupid grin McCree, see how far that takes you.” He knew he was a sour man, but lord did it get to Jesse today. Perhaps it was the lack of sleep, or the series of unfortunate events of the day but he was not in the mood.

“You know it’s award winning,” Jesse chided back, reaching his hands into his pockets. They were outside now, stalking into the parking lot where he saw Rico’s silver cadillac. Jesse never understood how he ended up with such a nice car on this salary. 

Michael pressed harder with the gun, reminding him he needed to adjust his focus. He had his belt on, and with that he had a homebrew stun grenade right by his waist. He had a chance, a slight chance but if he could get the draw on them he might be able to get away from these assholes. 

He needed to keep him talking. “Hey Michael why ya think Reyes put you on this job? You guys aren’t supposed to kill me right?”

He scoffed, Rico was ahead unlocking the car. “For some damn reason you seem to bring out the best of our ole boss. But we’re allowed to scuff you up if you’re being a shit.” He chuckled. “Almost wish you were making this harder.”

With that prompt, he turned around throwing the grenade down in front of him praying it wasn’t a dud. “Be careful for what you wish for doll,” Jesse grinned though taking the opportunity to pull out his gun and grab Michael by the neck. 

Rico cursed as he tore at his hair, pulling out a handgun. “Fucking hell, you had one job!” Michael still seemed dazed, not aware that he was being used as a bargaining chip. McCree was glad that Reyes had sent him, he was always a step behind. “C’mon Jesse we both know you won’t shoot him. Put the gun down and let’s talk this out at base.”

“I will, once I’m done with what I was doing.” He pressed the barrel of Peacekeeper to Michael’s head, kicking his gun away. “But I ain’t done yet. It’s been a long fucking day, and I don’t fancy being tested so not a step further or we’ll see how much I really like Mikey here.” He wasn’t planning on shooting him but it wasn’t completely out of his mind. Deadlock nor Blackwatch had softened him, he had killed for less, and today hadn’t been kind to him. He really didn’t want to be pressed he was tired and was partial to impulsiveness. 

Rico was radioing someone as he rounded the corner, pushing Michael to the ground. “Was that hard enough for you?” He couldn’t help but goad with him seeing stars still. With a smirk, he kicked him over before turning around and hitting something solid.  _ Fuck. _ It hadn’t just been those two after all, Reyes had sent Lilith, a Blackwatch veteran who didn’t look too amused.

“Hey Lily you’re looking good.” He knew he was trapped, she had at least fifty pounds on him and didn’t look too happy about the state of Michael. 

He didn’t even hear a response or think of a plan before her fist met his face, sending Jesse into a quick unconsciousness.

.

He woke up with a rough cuff to the head, Rico’s voice rumbling in his head. 

“Still can’t believe Reyes wants him back, I’d say let the ingrate go.”

Lilith was quick to scold him. “We do as Reyes says. And letting someone who knows as much about Blackwatch as him go freely would be a stupid mistake. Hole him up in his room, I’ll go inform the boss.” Her heard her footsteps go down the hall, heavy set boots thudding against the tile. His head hurt like hell, but he managed to stand up on his own after being dropped.

“Come on Jesse,  _ get _ .” Michael grabbed him roughly, shoving him into his room. 

“Don’t even think about pulling that shit again McCree, we’re all having to clean up your mess,” Rico sneered before slamming the door shut. He probably deserved that but that didn’t make him any less infuriated. 

“Well fuck you too!” McCree managed to yell, giving the door a good pound before slinking off to his bed. As much as he hated getting caught the idea of taking a rest sang to him like an angel. 

Jesse McCree, outlaw cowboy and fuck-up extraordinaire had done it again. He had managed to pull out all his cards and come up empty. He had been brought back and he wasn’t any closer to finding the Shimada’s. They were missing and in danger yet nevertheless he was locked up and under surveillance. He hadn’t been the best of people but he was young and thought maybe there would be grace’s for the sins from the youthful. How naive he was back then, God didn’t discriminate. One would reap what they sowed, and he hadn’t planted a lot of good seeds. 

He wanted to scream, he wanted to destroy everything and anything in sight. He wanted to rip the walls apart and get back out there, spit in face of fate and find them. McCree would make a deal with the devil for one last kiss, one more chance to hold Hanzo in his arms and to tell him that he loved him. He had ruined it all, not the fault of Blackwatch or God but Jesse who had left the very people he wished to protect vulnerable. He knew he was getting just punishment for what he had done, but lord did it have to be them who paid the price? If someone had to bite the bullet, McCree figured it should be him, not those whose only crime was to be born into the wrong family, end up in the wrong town at the wrong time. He prayed that they had caught wind of this all and already were gone, that he would gladly forfeit his goodbye for their safety. Blackwatch didn’t have them, but that didn’t mean that they were out of the town, that an agent was only moments away from discovering them. 

McCree was too warped in his thoughts that he didn’t notice that his window was opening before a figure was already half-way through. Night cloaked them, only the dim lights of Jesse’s lamp illuminated the room. He wasn’t sure how someone managed to sneak in with an agent posted outside, but instinct didn’t ask questions, it reacted. He reached to his hip, pulling out Peacekeeper and pointed it at the stranger.

“Sweet Jesus” he muttered before the man looked up. Inky hair tied back loosely framed his face, skin clear and pale as the moon, with lips pink as rose petals. It was him, unharmed and alive. Somehow he had found him, somehow he was  _ here _ breathing in the flesh. It was really him.“Hanzo,” his voice was hardly over a whisper, he felt the cold wind rush through the window chilling him to the bone. His dark eyes sent a shudder through his spine, as if he was an apparition coming to dispense judgement upon McCree.

Before he could apologize, or ask why or how he was here, or even make his declaration of affection Hanzo had closed the space between them pushing him against a wall. His breath was warm against his cheek, and McCree shut his eyes taking a moment to catch his scent. He had been too captivated to realize the sharp tip of a blade pressing against his throat.

Hanzo’s voice was quiet and filled with venom. “Where the fuck is Genji?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm on spring break so i'll attempt to have another chapter this week but no promises haha. Things are not going well for either of these guys.
> 
> If you need to talk to me for whatever reason you can find me on tumblr @draconicfly or twitter @draconic_fly


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey I actually managed a double upload this week so woohoo for spring break! Thanks again for all the support, I really didn't expect this series to be even noticed so it all means so much to me! I edit this all myself, so all mistakes are my own.

 

Hanzo stared into his lover’s eyes, filled with confusion, hurt, and hesitation. McCree appeared tired, his face sunken and gaunt but he chased any pity out of his heart. What mattered was Genji, finding him, making sure he was safe and out of their father’s hands, his own personal feelings be damned. Hanzo had been selfish this last month, keeping them in one place for too long was screaming danger, screaming stupidity. He chuckled darkly to himself, the events of the day was so normal until they dramatically weren’t. Until his life was once again flipped upside down, his curse of misfortune catching up to him, clawing at his throat, and dragging him back. 

 

_ The night before was, in a word, memorable. The smoke, the wine, the hours under the sun watching Jesse work with Stormbow, how his face had scrunched up in concentration before a shot, how his skin tasted of smoke and sweat. It was imprinted into his memory, every line, every sensation was woven into his mind. Hanzo had woken up with a smile, not even Genji’s teasing could get to him that morning.  _

_ His brother threw the box of granola bars to him, brow perked. “You seem awfully cheery. Who would’ve thought it just took getting laid to chill you out.” _

_ “Ha ha Genji,” Hanzo took a bite, the bar crumbling in his mouth like dirt. He didn’t imagine he’d ever get over how bad these were. “Perhaps it is just a nice morning and that we are alive and well.” He threw the box back, aiming at his head. “Perhaps you should also mind your own business.” _

_ “Tsk tsk brother, there’s no shame in it,” he laughed catching the box and sitting down to eat breakfast himself. “I’m just happy you’re happy. But we can talk about whatever you want if you’re so shy.” _

_ Hanzo hummed in appreciation, glad to see Genji in such an agreeable mood. He hadn’t felt this lighthearted in a long time, the unsurmountable weight that was thrust upon him somehow had disappeared. He recognized that the ghosts that haunted him wouldn’t leave, nor would his nightmares or mood swings, but nevertheless this was a step forward in the right direction. Jesse had done something he didn’t believe possible, without him even noticing he had stolen his heart and left behind affection and warmth. Hanzo was in love, there was no different way to describe the feeling that permeating from his chest into every pore of his body. He couldn’t think past anyone other than McCree, that he wanted simply to be with him as long as he would have him.  _

_ He pondered when he’d show up today, his important meeting was that afternoon so he figured it wouldn’t be til late. He huffed, knowing it was petty but wished that McCree would skip it to visit him earlier. He longed for his touch, his broad chest and thick voice whispering endearments to him. He caught himself before becoming to enveloped in thought, his attention flickering back to Genji who cleared his throat. _

_ “Anything you want to do today, or would it please you to wistfully stare at wall?” He chuckled as Hanzo blushed, seemingly caught with his musings of romance.  _

_ “Sorry, I was...thinking is all. Sure, we can go out today, I was thinking about practicing some archery anyways.” _

_ Genji beamed, as an idea flew into his head. “Hey, the alley behind the diner might make a nice spot to practice. You can even shoot old produce, like an apple off of my head!” He appeared overly pleased with this realization, though the idea of Genji balancing old fruits on his head did sound amusing. _

_ Hanzo stretched, picking up his case with a grin. “Sounds like a plan.” _

 

“How are you even here?” McCree’s voice was strained, the tip of the blade threatening to slice his throat if he spoke too much. 

Hanzo only glowered in return. “You think I didn’t know where you lived? As I’m sure you’re fully aware of, I am the heir to the Shimada Clan. It didn’t take long to figure out where a secret organization was hiding in such a small town.” The wind howled from the window, the man outside still lying in the dirt. Hanzo was desperate, he was betrayed, his heart ached with a pain he hand never known. It took every ounce of him not to burst into hysteria, to maintain a sense of cold control. 

He wondered if tested if he could kill someone he loved. McCree’s eyes begged that he wouldn’t, but Jesse did not truly know him. Hanzo did not even know himself.

 

_ Brunch at the diner wasn’t something out of the ordinary for them, Hanzo quite liked their Texas toast sandwiches if he was being honest. Genji dating someone who worked there did have it’s perks, if not free they had discounted meals. That helped tremendously for two guys who didn’t work and were running on ever dwindling funds.  _

_ “Thanks Julia,” Genji leaned into a kiss as she sat down next to him, a steaming cup of coffee at hand.  _

_ “Oh it’s fine, talking to you two fellas is always a treat.” She eyed Hanzo’s bow case with intrigue. “I’ve never seen someone actually shoot an arrow, it’s always been on TV or in the movies.” She giggled lightly when Genji kissed her shoulder. “Are you any good at it?” _

_ “Ohhh be careful my dear,” Genji smirked at Hanzo who scoffed. “You might offend him, he takes his archery very seriously.”  _

_ “Oh!” Her face turned red in embarrassment. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean any of that. Just not a lot of folk use bows since...y’know. Guns and all.” _

_ Hanzo bit his lip from giving a sharp retort. She had a point, but most anyone could easily pick up a gun and hurt someone. Archery was an artform, it required discipline and strength to do properly. He merely smiled, standing up. “You’re fine, no offense is taken. I could tell you that I am the best shot you’ve most likely will ever meet but I much rather show you.” His gaze drifted to his brother. “Something about apples on top of heads?” _

 

He looked apologetic, from the slouch in his shoulders to his resigned sigh. “Okay fair enough. I deserve this.” Peacekeeper fell to ground with a thud, his hands raised in the air. “I don’t know how you found out, but I’m sorry. I’m truly and fully sorry. I know it don’t matter much now, but I was going to tell ya’ll, tell ya’ll to haul ass north but it looks like...it looks like I’m too late.” He sounded tired, devoid of emotion despite his shaky breaths. “I’m always too damn late.”

Hanzo didn’t know how to respond to this, how to fight his urge to cradle this man in his arms and tell him that it’s okay. But he admitted fault. He admitted that he knew, that he was somehow connected to this all. He pressed the sword down harder, a red line forming on McCree’s tanned skin. “You didn’t answer me. Where is he? Where is Genji?”

A shake of his head almost brought Hanzo to his knees.

 

_ Hanzo could always put on a show, he was used to performing in front of the Clan’s elders and his father. Julia was however a much easier audience to impress, the first shot that hit an avocado off Genji’s head had her squealing.  _

_ “Genji!” She yelled running over to him, wrapping her arms around his shoulders. “Are you okay?” _

_ “Haha I’m fine, Hanzo’s an excellent shot.” He gave her a wink while rubbing his head. “I’m just glad I’m not the avocado, it’s wiped out.” _

_ Hanzo grinned to himself, the over ripened fruit smeared across the cardboard boxes that lined the walls. It wasn’t the first time they did this trick, often he’d have Genji throw a shuriken to knock something off his own crown. Perhaps he’d let Genji have a go with Stormbow after he got tired from training, though he was always nervous with his brother’s skill with a bow. Genji had been laxed these past five months since the left home, but even though Hanzo was complacent with Goodwell the habit of practice was something he found hard to shake. It didn’t help there was a part of him that was competitive after seeing Jesse’s archery performance last night. He was a good shot, but Hanzo would have generations of Shimada’s turn in their graves if he was out done with his own bow by a cowboy. _

_ After the couple was done fussing over each other, Genji turned to his brother. “I wonder if they have something smaller, like a berry of some kind! It would be sick if you could hit that out of my hand!” _

_ Hanzo couldn’t stifle a chuckle at how horrified Julia’s face was. “A berry? Out of your hand? That’s insane Genji, someone’s going to get hurt!” She huffed a bit, punching him in the shoulder. “You’re a great shot Hanzo but I’ll just go find a tomato or something you can shoot at. A berry is too much. Or I guess too little.” _

_ Hanzo nodded messing with the bow string. “I will gladly shoot whatever you bring me. As long as it’s off some part of Genji.” His brother stuck out his tongue in response, as he followed her out of the alleyway.  _

_ “Oh what a kidder you are.” He slung an arm around Julia throwing back a grin. “We’ll be back.” He mouthed ‘with a berry’ before they went off out of sight.  _

_ He walked over to the cardboard boxes that lined the wall, retrieving his arrow. He grimaced, wiping off green mush from the tip wondering how he had gone from some of the finest facilities in Japan to behind country diner’s for target practice. He supposed it was all the same in theory, that he merely needed something to shoot at to improve, but he believed his favorite would always be the one Jesse created. The openness and isolation of it all was an experience he was not accustomed to. He liked it, the rustic nature of a forest, shooting into trees and tin cans underneath an endless sky. Perhaps it wasn’t as sophisticated or traditional as the ones on Hanamura, but Jesse had a personal touch that he couldn’t quite describe that made it all the more charming. A subtle smile touched his lips as he thought it applied to the man as well.  _

 

“Liar,” he hissed in a raspy whisper. “Why are you lying to me?” Hanzo winced at the way his own voice cracked. The air still felt as if he had just been knocked out of him, his movements heavy with grief. 

McCree frowned deeply, his own words caught in his throat. He opened his mouth but said nothing. 

 

_ Like a crack of thunder, a loud feminine scream broke the silence in the air followed by the rev of a car’s engine. Tires squeaked across pavement, as Hanzo registered the voice as Julia’s, his legs sprinting down the road to find the source. It was only merely around the bend of the street near enough to the diner that people were looking outside with concern. _

_ “What happened?” he scanned the area, noting the skid marks in the parking lot, a handful of dropped tomatoes squashed against the blacktop. She looked up at him, a bruise beginning to form under her right eye but otherwise unharmed. “Who did this?” _

_ She kept shaking her head. “I--I don’t know, it was so fast and they just took him, I..”  _

_ The blood in his veins ran ice cold with the realization. Genji. He wasn’t around, wasn’t here by Julia or inside the diner. He was gone. Missing. Stolen. _

_ His heart raced, threatening to jump out of his chest. “Julia, I need you to focus. What did you see?” He felt pity for her, she was a kind and gentle soul, someone who smiled easily and lived lightly. She did not deserve this, didn’t do anything in her time on this earth to warrant this abuse. Hanzo wished he had been sweeter, kinder, but only panic spoke within him. “Please. You must tell me.” _

_ Her eyes seemed blank as she nodded slowly. “They had...there was about three of them? I-I saw a symbol on their jackets. It was..” Tears streaked her reddened cheeks. “They just took him Hanzo, oh my god... I tried to stop them, but then they…” _

_ “Shh, you are braver than most Julia, you did well.” Hanzo attempted to comfort her despite his own state of shakiness.”The jackets. Tell me what was on the jackets.” He needed anything, any detail to tell him what faction had found them. Which assassins or bounty hunters had finally pinned them them down to the middle of nowhere America. He needed a lead. _

_ She nodded once more, a look of determination to her face. “It was a skull with wings...and a lock I think? They had them as patches on their shoulders.” Her gaze became lost once more. “They had guns, they threatened to shoot me if he didn’t comply, oh my god Hanzo, I’m so sorry.” _

_ He cupped her face with his hands, bringing her eyes to his. “You have nothing to apologize for Julia. You did everything correctly, do not blame yourself.” He gritted his teeth, forcing himself to calm down. “You did well. I will find him, but you need to get yourself somewhere safe.”  _

_ “I..I’m fine yeah.” She seemed to sober up, squeezing Hanzo’s arm. “Should I call the cops? I know you guys are runaways but --” _

_ “No. Definitely no cops.” Hanzo had to deal with the situation himself, law enforcement would only make things worse.  _

_ “Oh.” She was quiet for a moment. “I...I’m going home then. Get some ice on my face and...please just save your brother. Let me know if there’s anyway I can help I will.”  _

_ Hanzo nodded thankfully. “I appreciate it, I will. Take care of yourself.” He quickly went off following the tracks, fearful he’d be overwhelmed with emotion in front of her. He knew where to go. He knew that symbol. _

 

Betrayed by his mark, the tattoo on his lover’s back was the sign that he knew who took Genji. His voice shook angrily, he felt the dragons writhe underneath his skin demanding retribution. “You do know! You must know!” He made an attempt to quiet his fury, knowing if he made too much noise someone would come to Jesse’s room. “They shared your mark.” He knew he had failed in stopping his tears, his vision becoming blurry. He took a step back, prompting McCree to reach out to him. He rose Genji’s blade to his face, willing his hands to be steady. “Do not dare touch me. Not until you explain yourself.”

McCree stared at him for a moment before turning around to go sit down on his bed. He slumped his back against the wall, all vigor or energy void in his body. “Blackwatch doesn’t have him, I would’ve known if they did I’m sure. I’m too tired to go on about that so why don’t you tell me why you think I know.” He threw his hat towards his dresser, missing it and landing on the floor. “And for the love of God put that damn sword down.”

A fire sparked in his chest, the dragons taking his words as an offense. He knew he must appeared wild, hair mangled with his eyes bloodshot. He took a slow breath, easing the beasts under his skin. Hanzo bit his lip as he sheathed the blade, keeping his gaze on McCree. “The men who took him. They share the symbol of Blackwatch with you.” Jesse perked an eyebrow at this, but let him continue. “It would match up with your behavior as of late, why you are so nervous, and you do not deny it. Blackwatch was after us and you  _ knew. _ ” He wished he was wrong, that everything was a giant misunderstanding and Jesse was about to explain it to him. How he avoided his eyes told him otherwise, his heart fracturing further. He felt used, empty. 

“That’s true, I won’t lie.” He kept his eyes fixed on his hat on the floor. His voice was hoarse with a sting he didn’t recognize.“Blackwatch knew and I was in charge of finding you two. I never told them, and I never told you. I know I’m a piece of shit but--.”

“How long?” He interrupted him. Hanzo wondered if he was a fool from the start, that the meeting that night wasn’t a coincidence at all. That he had been played, that he had given his heart away for nothing. His father had been right, Hanzo was too naive and dumb for his own good, he was a man of twenty yet this still happened to him. He trusted McCree and immediately was punished. How could he have let himself slip so far from the man he was in Hanamura, the honorable dragon to this pitiful boy? He wanted to hate Jesse, to pin all of the fault on him but he knew the only hate he felt in his heart was towards himself. He was unworthy of the dragons, of his name, his title. He had gladly given it all up for the safety of his brother, but even now he had failed Genji. He was losing everything.

McCree had shifted, closing his eyes in frustration.“Baby pleas--,”

“Do not call me that.” Hanzo could not take the pain, how his heart twisted within his chest, how his stomach knotted and squeezed. He had endured broken bones, torn muscles, bloody knuckles and a variety of unimaginable mental and physical stresses. Yet he had never known heartbreak, never had he so willingly place his emotional well being into the hands of another for it to be dashed into pieces. He wanted to scream, wanted to destroy everything and everyone until he found his brother but he knew he couldn’t. He wasn’t strong enough to foresee this, how would he be strong enough to save him? He had never felt so helpless in his life.. 

Jesse sighed, lighting a cigarette from his pocket. “Since the night you first kissed me. That’s when I found out, alright? What was I supposed to do, you were so goddamn happy and I…..” He trailed off not finishing the sentence. Copper flecks burned in his eyes from the light.“I didn’t want to hurt you.”

“Hurt me?” Hanzo sneered, his gaze searing into the side of McCree’s face. “You did not wish to  _ hurt _ me? What of Genji? He is  _ gone _ Jesse, since this afternoon I have been tearing this town apart not able to find any other leads to find him. Other than you.” He choked back a cry, his hands shaking. “Do you think I wanted this? I have  _ failed _ him, and as much as your betrayal stings I need you to tell me where he is. Where would Blackwatch take him if not here?” He hated feeling vulnerable, the sensation of being so fragile. He was a Shimada, a strong prideful family and yet here he was unable to stop his own tears. McCree only met him with silence refusing to meet his eyes. “Jesse,” his name tasted like ashes in his mouth. “Look at me when I talk to you, you owe me that much.”

McCree spoke with a thunder in his voice that shuddered through him. “How can you expect me to look at you when you’re  _ crying _ and I can’t do a damn thing about it?” He looked up, dark eyes digging into his skin. “How am I supposed to look you in the eye when you’re in pain and I’m not allowed to hold you...I…” He took a heavy breath, flexing his shaking hand into a fist. “I don’t think Blackwatch has him Hanzo. Your story isn’t wrong but ya got a detail mixed up. My tattoo isn’t Blackwatch. It’s Deadlock.”

“What?” Hanzo furrowed his brow, drying his eyes with his sleeve as he composed himself. “That’s impossible, I thought they were all killed.”

“Me too,” McCree was on his feet again wearing a troubled face. “But if what you’re saying is true then this is...oh fuck what do they want with Genji.” He ran a hand through his tangled locks as he bent down for his hat. “We have to get him back.”

Hanzo scoffed annoyedly. “You don’t think I know that? Perhaps some of the bounty hunters are outsourcing or maybe there’s public warrants for us now. Either way, I need to know where they are.” He crossed his arms over his chest. “Tell me the nearest Deadlock base you know of.”

Jesse walked up to him, picking up Peacekeeper and putting it back on his hip. “No.”

“No?” Hanzo hissed, pressing a finger into his chest. “Remember what I am capable of Jesse, I am not in the mood for games. I will find Genji, and you will comply.”

“Hanzo please.” He grabbed his shoulders, his eyes full of desperation. “I know I’m an asshole, that you’ve got every right to hate me. Do it, hate me, run me through with that blade if it’ll make you feel better but not before I help you. This is my fault, and I’ll be damned if I don’t make it right.” Hanzo wanted to look away, to not be drawn into his words full of regret and sorrow. It ripped him apart from the core outward, yet he didn’t swat away his hands when he reached up to cup his face. “I made you a promise that I’d right by you. That I’d be good to you. I already done fucked it all up to hell but please, let me help you with this. I owe you that much.”

Hanzo closed his eyes, savoring his touch, his thumb wiping away any tears left on his cheeks. He wanted to give in, to hold him close to his body and let him take away his fears, but he knew he couldn’t. He had to become stronger, he couldn’t let himself drop his guards so easily again. For all he knew this was another trick, another lie. He tore himself away from his hands, looking back out the window. 

“Give me one reason I should trust you. That as soon as I agree to this you won’t just hand me over to your officials.” He turned around, staring deep into the dark pools of his eyes. “Why I should rest Genji’s fate with you?”

He looked hurt, the pain in his expression evident. Hanzo forced himself to keep his gaze steady, to erase his earlier weakness with his present conviction. McCree wiped the tip of his nose with his thumb in thought. “Because when all's said and done, Genji is my friend.”

Hanzo scoffed. “And we saw how that has panned out.” Genji was always more forgiving, more free spirited and open hearted than Hanzo. He would want him to accept his help, to open his arms to him. Genji was also very much so a naive child.

“And,” McCree continued his voice low. “I am the only son of a bitch who knows Deadlock. I was one of them, no one else you’ll find will have those connections.”

Hanzo was silent in contemplation, weighing his options. The more time he wasted the worse it would be for his brother. He shivered at the thought of what horrors Genji was going through, or what they have done to him to keep him from escaping on his own. Bright eyes and a toothy grin, he could only see the little boy in Hanamura when he pictured his brother. He would kill every last one of them that even laid a hand on him. He vowed that much. 

“So we got a deal?” McCree straightened his back, popping his shoulders. Hanzo wondered if he was on the verge of cracking as well, that if they both in their own ways were poorly coping with the pain of the situation. His face offered nothing, his expression serious. 

Hanzo cleared his throat. “We got a deal.” 

Jesse’s eyes flickered with hope, that only tightened his own chest. He hated himself, he hated himself bones deep but he still loved him. Despite it all, he wanted nothing more than to bury himself in his arms and to share this burden. It wouldn’t be fair, this was Hanzo’s family, Hanzo’s duty. Hanzo’s fault. Jesse had done nothing more than endanger them, while stressing himself out in the process. He could not find the capacity for forgiveness in him, only the cold heat that came with anger and frustration. The dragons coiled around his arm, tightening to the verge of pain. He convinced himself it would be better for both of them in the long run, to cut things short before they truly began. To spare what was left of his dignity and his heart.

McCree exhaled, as if he had been holding his breath for his reply. “Okay. Okay.” He looked out the window himself, chuckling at the man who laid unconscious outside. “There’s no stopping you is there?”

“No, there isn’t.” Hanzo was quick to reply. The man had obviously not expected him, and Hanzo would be surprised that if he had even stolen a glance before he knocked him out cold. He strove for efficiency. 

Jesse leaned against the windowsill. “So when do you want to start, it’s awfully late,” he glanced at his phone. “Near two in the morning.”

“I am not spending the night here if that is what you’re suggesting.” Hanzo’s tone was curt, cold, straight to the point. He tortured himself, keeping himself from McCree who looked mildly offended. He longed for human contact, something for him to cement him back into the world, to place things in perspective. Hanzo bit his cheek, scolding himself for becoming so soft. 

Jesse was quick to protest. “Tha-that wasn’t what I was trying to say, I’m just saying it’s really late. I don’t imagine you have another place to sleep and you can’t go back to the warehouse so--”

“Do you think Deadlock or Blackwatch is there already, plundering what’s left of my belongings?” He was bitter, scorning that his mind went to that damned frog vase with roses. The flowers were near dead, but the frog had been Genji’s idea. He knew he’d be upset that it was lost, whenever he found him. If he found him.

“Could be either, or even both. Today’s the day when there’s officially other Blackwatch agents after you guys, since well.” He gave a tired grin, grabbing for his keys. “Well since I really suck at my job. So I guess we should just take this golden opportunity you made and get the fuck out of here.”

Hanzo took note that it was odd that it appeared McCree’s room was being guarded. “Why was a man posted at your window?” They slipped out of his room quietly, or as quietly they could with Jesse wearing cowboy boots. 

“Like I said I’m real bad at my job. They knew that the situation was...personal for me. So they tried to keep me out of it before I went and made things worse.” He grimaced. “Though apparently Deadlock already beat me to that.”

“Apparently.” Hanzo felt slightly embarrassed that he hadn’t connected the tattoo to Deadlock. The skull with a lock was sort of obvious, but to be fair Blackwatch was also hunting him down. As dull as Goodwell Oklahoma appeared, there seemed to be a large variety of criminally-shady organizations running around. He didn’t believe in luck, but never did he feel so unlucky in his life. Just when he thought he could actually be happy, the truth brought him back to reality. He was Hanzo Shimada, he didn’t get to be happy. That wasn’t part of the deal of his upbringing. 

He didn’t recall seeing his pickup when he arrived to the compound, and as they approached the front it was still nowhere to be found.

“Where is your truck?” He scrunched up his nose in apprehension, hand already on the handle of Genji’s katana. “If this is a trap, I will gut you before they can shoot me.”

“Woah there,” McCree rose his hands up defensively as he continued forward. “I left it parked by the warehouse so save it for later. You can gut me all you want, but I don’t reckon you know how to drive a stick. Besides, if I wanted to take ya out there was plenty of chances earlier.”

Hanzo huffed, although returning his hands to his sides, jogging slightly to catch up. He had been trained in many things, martial arts, archery, swordplay, linguistics, and a variety of other skills required for running a criminal syndicate but he had actually never driven a vehicle. He was positive with time he could master driving, but time was not a luxury he currently had. Every passing minute, Genji was just that much further, just that much out of his reach. He swallowed down his pride and followed quietly, wondering how Jesse felt about everything. He was uncharacteristically quiet on their walk into town, not even giving a glance back to Hanzo. He silently chastised himself for being a little hurt, knowing that distancing himself from him was for the best. He reminded himself that Jesse had lied, despite also lying to Blackwatch he had strung Hanzo along, well aware that he was being hunted. He had kissed him, held him, let Hanzo confess his love to him all while knowing that their touches were numbered, that he was the one supposed to drag them back to Hanamura. Hanzo was kept in the dark, deceived, and at the end of it was Genji who had to pay the price. He knew they should’ve left within the first week they arrived, gotten back on the train and headed south. He had followed his heart instead of his head; Hanzo made a mental note to never make that mistake again. He couldn’t afford it if he somehow managed a second chance at redemption.

“This way,” McCree’s voice was a bit hoarse from the long awkward silence. He gestured into the alleyway purposefully putting himself in the front.

“Perhaps I should go ahead to check if anyone is still there,” Hanzo felt antsy, something about the loudness with McCree’s step spiking his nerves.

“I’m gonna have to suggest otherwise, people are looking for you if you remember. Sure they got Genji but Deadlock never liked leaving a job half done.” He reached up as if to brush Hanzo’s hair out of his face but quickly reconsidered, recoiling his hand back to his side. “So..uh yeah. I’ll go first.” 

Hanzo groaned, grabbing his arm. “Stop. If anyone is there they will hear you before you see them. I’ll go ahead and  _ quietly _ check and come back to tell you if I spot anything.” Before Jesse could protest further, Hanzo shoved his way past him. “That wasn’t a request McCree.” He couldn’t help but grin to himself hearing a resigned sigh and the plop of the cowboy sitting down. Despite the obvious tension he still had the sense to listen to reason. They would need that if there was a hope for them to work together to find Genji. 

He padded off silently ahead, hyper aware of his surroundings, paranoid of every rattle from the wind. It was dark, but the sky was clear and lit up with an endless amount of stars. They used to make him feel safe, gazing into the vast heavens seeing no end. However, circumstances had changed, there was no safety or consolance the night could bring him. The damage to his heart had already been done, he needed to accept it and move on. He just didn’t expect it to be so difficult.

Hanzo had not imagined himself sneaking around the warehouse he had called home for the past month. Through the darkness he saw only Jesse’s truck in the front as he had told, with no other vehicles in sight. That however did not mean people weren’t around waiting for him. He made his way to the warehouse, past the front door and towards a window to the side, careful to not make any noise. The night was still, only the chorus of insects echoed where nothing indicated that anyone was there. He peered into the warehouse, no lights were on rendering it to that he could only see what the moonlight illuminated. He was cautious opening the window and slinking in, where the thought occurred to him that McCree would be cross for him not reporting back but Hanzo could take care of himself. He was not a delicate bird that couldn’t handle stress or discomfort, he knew pain. If anything that was his life abridged. 

He found no persons were present, but they had been. The sheet he had hanging between their sleeping spaces had been torn down, along with their beds and Genji’s bag rummaged through. He frowned, whoever had visited was destructive and dirty, muddy boot prints were streaked across the floor. The light reflected off something, the shine catching Hanzo’s eye. He walked over slowly, his footsteps silent on the concrete floor. Shards of green were littered about accompanied with a mixture of wilted red and pink roses. Anger blossomed in his chest, he scorned the audacity of the vagrants who went as far as to destroy something as simple and pure as a frog vase with roses. They gained nothing from it, it was merely destructive, messy. In a way he supposed it was appropriate, a silly representation of his love life dashed into the ground, only bits and pieces remaining in the chaos. He kneeled down, picking up a shard wondering if it was worth trying to fix, that if it  _ could  _ even be fixed. Even if he managed to find all the pieces and put them back together, it wouldn’t be the same, it would never be. There would always be something off with the frog, it was damaged most likely past repair. There was a part of him that wanted to try to mend it, but he instead pocketed the piece before going out the front door. There was nothing left for him there, nothing that would help find his brother.

He made his way back to McCree with no difficulty where he caught the cowboy nodding off in the alleyway. He frowned, displeased that he was not sleeping well. Hanzo supposed he knew the answer for why now.

“McCree,” he stated gruffly, wrapping his arms around himself from the night’s chill. 

He jumped up in a fright, hand instinctively to his hip. He looked panicked for a moment before focusing on Hanzo. “Oh, you’re back. Took your sweet time.” He sounded irritated. 

“I was just thorough.” He shrugged his shoulders wanting to get on with it. The way Jesse’s gaze stayed on him made him uneasy. “Your truck is there unharmed. So let’s get going.” He stood in place for a moment prompting Hanzo to continue. “I’m fine.”

Jesse grunted, stepping past him. “Yeah I’m sure,” he snarked. He hated how his words cut deeper than they should, he could tell that Jesse was upset with him but he didn’t understand why it bothered him so much. He had threatened him multiple times today, and Hanzo never made empty ones. He was someone he couldn’t trust, someone that had deceived and used him. Hanzo wasn’t sure if he even cared, and that perhaps now he only helped because of Genji and Hanzo finding out about everything was all just a major inconvenience to him. 

They got into the truck in the silence, Hanzo’s grip on Genji’s sword deadly tight. McCree seemed to notice as they drove off into the dimly lit streets. 

“We’re going to find him okay? Stressing yourself out ain’t gonna help nobody.” He sounded tired, his words drawled out longer than normal. 

“My brother was taken by a gang that should be dead. I have no information on them and I’m relying on another organization hunting us down to find him.” Hanzo snapped, fully aware he was as exhausted as irritable. “I was lazy, let myself get comfortable and now my brother pays the consequences. So I apologize if I seem a little stressed.”

Jesse groaned in the seat next to him, turning into a back road sharply. “For Christ’s sake, what do you want from me Hanzo? I know I fucked up, I fucked up real bad but I’m here to help alright.” His dark eyes stalked the road, a mixture of sadness and determination. “I know it may be hard to believe but I still care about you guys and I will do what it takes to make it right. I’m not saying ya gotta like it but can you get off my goddamn back for a fucking second.” His voice was low and rumbled like thunder. He tipped his hat up. “It’s been too long of a fucking day.”

Hanzo held his tongue from a sharp retort, recognizing that they were both tired and any further arguing would get them nowhere fast. He merely huffed, turning his face to the window not caring if McCree fell asleep and drove them off a cliff at this point. He was ready to ignore the awkward and angry tension in order to fall asleep before McCree sighed. 

“Look Hanzo..I’m just a little fucked over right now. I’m sorry.” Both of his hands tightened around the wheel as if he was willing himself to stay awake. “I know it ain’t much, but I am sorry.”

Hanzo looked down at Genji’s sword and fiddled with the green shard in his pocket. “I know.” Exhaustion sunk into his bones, weariness overcoming his senses. He knew McCree didn’t want any of this, that deep down he was a good man. However, Hanzo knew first hand that good intentions didn’t add up to much on their own. He frowned. “But sorry doesn’t get my brother back.”

With that they both fell back to the tension that filled the quiet spaces, with only the radio playing softly in the background. Hanzo nuzzled himself into the far corner of his seat, looking out the window into Oklahoma’s pastures before drifting into an uneasy sleep. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It'll probably be a bit before the next chapter since the next few weeks are gonna be busy af. I will for real try to figure out how many more chapters are left and put down a definitive number when I post it! (looking around 20 to 21) Also if the beginning was weird with the difference of timeline parts I apologize, I really had no clue how to make that flow any better >.>
> 
> As always if you need to contact me for whatever reason my tumblr is @draconicfly and my twitter is @draconic_fly


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOO WEEKDAY UPDATE, sorry for the long wait on the update but I finally finished up work for that conference and hopefully will be getting back to a normal schedule! This chapter is a bit tame, just some reflection and some angstTM but it'll pick up again I swear haha.  
> Again, thanks for all the support all of the comments and kudos are honestly what motivate to write I love all ya'll. I edit everything myself so all mistakes are my own (i do appreciate if you tell me if u catch one so i'll fix it tho)

Hanzo slept quietly, his gentle breathing barely audible. Honestly, when McCree wasn’t paying attention he almost forgot that he was in the truck with him, that somehow in his exhausted mind he could rationalize driving off in the middle of night without notifying Reyes on his own will. It only took a few moments for him to realize that he would never do that, that there was more to the story. That the key to his future happiness and sorrow was curled up against his passenger seat. He shook his head lightly, keeping his eyes on the road while he struggled with a lump in his throat that he couldn’t quite swallow. 

Genji was kidnapped by Deadlock which scared the ever-holy shit out of him for a variety of reasons, namely the implications. Deadlock wasn’t dead. It was insane, he was there when it had happened. Reyes had Blackwatch round up what was left after the massacre, and had most of them executed after questioning. Jesse was the lucky son of a bitch who didn’t die that day, instead he had been recruited for Blackwatch in a way that he didn’t have much of a choice. It was either working for him or death, and if McCree had anything it was a sense of self preservation. He remembered that he had been so angry back then, even more so than now. It didn’t feel all that long ago.

Apparently Reyes wasn’t as thorough as he believed; the gang lived on and were taking on mercenary work. He didn’t believe that Deadlock had stalked them here, it was most likely just happenstance that they found Genji while passing through town, he was a character hard to mistake for anyone else. It was unsettling to think that they had been so close, in the same town as him and managed to slip under his nose. He didn’t like it, his skin crawled with the memories of the sins from his past. 

McCree rolled down his window slightly, enough to let cold wind blast against his face in an attempt to stay awake and freshen up the stuffy air. He had gotten the brother’s into this shitstorm, it wouldn’t help his case if he killed Hanzo in a car wreck that morning by dozing off and driving into a tree. He chewed on his lip, worry spreading into every part of his body, radiating off in him slight shivers. The people of Deadlock were the most cruel, needlessly violent bastards he had ever known, McCree could only guess what trouble Genji had gotten himself into. He kicked himself for not reading the fine print and seeing if they wanted the Shimada boys harmed in anyway, hoping for Genji’s sake that they weren’t allowed to do any lasting damage. In his time with the gang he wasn’t above tearing off nails or yanking out teeth to shut up a mouthy hostage. He prayed that Genji had enough mind to comply and stay out of harm's way. 

They went over a pothole, Hanzo shifting out of his neat corner with a groan. McCree knew he was going to get a crook in his neck, but he let him rest not daring to try to adjust him. Hanzo was like fire, alluring, changing, but dangerous as hell. He needed the sleep, he had seemed weary and worn, although McCree was the same. Hell, he was still a teenager but too many all nighters started to wear down a man. Lord, he needed a smoke.

He mused lighting one but again didn’t want to wake Hanzo.  McCree stole a glance noting that he looked oddly peaceful asleep, the deep line that had been on his brow the whole night nowhere to be found. Maybe he’d be in a better mood once he had slept, though Jesse knew better than to kid himself. He had fucked up their relationship royally and doubted there was one left other than their mutual caring for Genji. He knew he was in love with Hanzo, from the knot in the pit of his stomach he knew he was still in too deep. He had lost his chance to tell him, to have at least one perfect night. His own fear of commitment had gotten to him, paralyzing him in the moment until it passed. He chuckled darkly at himself, supposing that people didn’t really know what they had until it was gone, although he’d argue he was aware of what he had beforehand, of what he had lost. Every gentle touch, every clash of their lips, every whisper of sweet endearments and demonstrations of affection, he had wanted it all. But then again, he was Jesse McCree, and if there was one constant in his life it’s that he would always be the first to ruin it.

Hanzo grunted as they went over another bump, reminding Jesse to stay sharp. It was nearly four in the morning and he hadn’t near enough coffee for a drive this long. The closest gathering spot for Deadlock was another in the middle of nowhere town in Texas. He knew he was too goddamn tired as he couldn’t stop himself from laughing when he remembered that the town was named ‘Cactus’. He placed his own hand over his mouth, muffling his own amusement hoping he didn’t wake his silent companion. 

The world around him was eerily quiet, the sky dark with dawn being a ways off. From one panhandle to the next, the backroads were empty, not even a tumbleweed laying around. He knew with Deadlock alive that Jesse himself became a target, and with Hanzo being the other dragon to the bounty he wanted to avoid major highways. He mused it was the scenic route though he knew it just meant more driving. More fucking driving. 

McCree must have dozed off for a moment as he panicked when he awoke to Hanzo reaching over his lap, his hands grasping the wheel. 

“Fucking shit,” McCree was quick to take control, steering them off the road into the brush, the truck kicking up clouds of dust. 

“Jesse,” Hanzo’s voice was quiet, leveled. He was glad someone was though he didn’t know how he was managing it. “Let me drive.”

“If I do recall you don’t know how,” Jesse shifted the gear, feeling embarrassed. “Sorry about that, but I’ll get us to Cactus in one piece, I swear.” Hanzo didn’t look convinced, his hand shifting the gear back into park. 

“So that’s where we’re going then? Cactus?” He sounded annoyed, dark bags lining his eyes. McCree went to switch the gear back with Hanzo grabbing his wrist tightly. 

“C’mon now Han, quit this shit.” He wasn’t sure what to think, only a few hours ago Hanzo was ready to kill him yet now he spoke as soft as silk to him.

“You’re tired.” He released Jesse when he strained back against his grip.

“I can do this. You just go nod back off to sleep and I’ll take care of it, easy-peasy.” McCree tried to sound laid back, but he knew Hanzo wasn’t buying it.

He frowned at him, opening the side door and walking outside over to the driver’s side. “Out. You’re tired.”

“No.” Jesse knew he was being juvenile but the way Hanzo was speaking to him made him not want to comply. He spoke slowly as if he were talking to a child, and Jesse had about enough with people treating him as such. “Get back in the fucking car Hanzo.” McCree worked on keeping his voice down, but his temper got the best of him. “We don’t have time for this shit.”

Hanzo open the driver’s door, unfazed. “You’re tired. Let me drive.”

McCree hit his hands against the wheel, knowing full and well he was yelling. “Don’t you fucking dare talk down to me. I know I fucked up, that’s kinda my thing but I can at the very fucking least drive your ass to Texas.” He shook his head, frustration eating away at him. 

Hanzo spoke lightly, his voice low and raspy from sleep. “I am not talking  _ down _ to you, I am merely trying to--”

“Oh cut the bullshit, you’re talking to me like I’m a goddamn kid.” McCree bursted, glad that the road was clear.

“--To speak to you in a nonconfrontational manner.” Hanzo continued without missing a beat. “Apparently that isn’t working so here it is. You almost drove off the fucking road McCree, you’re tired. If we’re going to make it to Cactus we’re going to have to take turns, you can’t stay awake forever.” He folded his arms across his chest, frowning. “I’m not questioning if you’re capable, I know that you are. But you’re not superman and I am not going to put up with your prideful bullshit.” He clenched his fist, his calm demeanour vanishing. “You’re tired. I’m driving.”

McCree stared at him for a bit, drowsy enough to wonder if he had died and this was hell: Hanzo staring daggers at him on a hot winter road trip. After a moment he took off his hat and threw it on the passenger seat, awkwardly moving across the middle to the passengers side.

“You wanna drive? Fine, but I ain’t sleeping a wink until I think you won’t drive us off a fucking cliff.” McCree pouted as he rested his arm outside the window watching intently. Hanzo settled himself down slowly, adjusting the seat and the mirror mimicking what McCree did typically. Impatience tinkered with him. “Well you're the one who wanted to drive so badly, go on now.” He wondered how much he had actually seen and picked up. Driving itself wasn’t that terrible of a skill to learn, but driving a stick shift was a little tougher.

Despite a few hours of rest Hanzo was still tired and more than a little crabby. “Do not rush me,” he hissed before shifting the car into drive. 

McCree bit the inside of his cheek, feeling ashamed for acting like an ass. He knew he was tired and irrational and here was Hanzo actually attempting to help out. Hanzo’s face scrunched up in concentration as he experimented with the different levers, he was genuinely trying. 

“Look, the pedal to the left is the clutch, the gas is on the right. To upshift ya gonna need to get ya foot off the clutch and then on the gas alright?” 

Hanzo nodded, taking a moment before he was successful in accelerating the truck back onto the road. He beamed. “Ha, easy enough.”

Jesse couldn’t resist to give him a slap on the shoulder, impressed himself. It had taken him a few weeks himself to accomplish a smooth start up with a stick shift.“You really do pick up on things fast, huh.” He placed his hat on sheepishly, hoping Hanzo wouldn’t take offense to the physical contact. 

He seemed more or less uninterested. “Yes, I know. Now go to sleep.” He spoke hardly over a whisper, his focus entirely on the road. 

“Uh, yeah we’re pretty much on a straight line until we gotta get back on the main road and ya just wake me up for that, okay?” McCree adopted the softer tone, exhaustion winning the fight against his nerves.

Hanzo nodded and said something afterwards but Jesse didn’t pick it up or remember it. He leaned against the door, attempting to find a comfortable position for his neck but sleep had him before he could. 

He dreamed of dragons, as ironic as it was in his current situation. They were ethereal, like two giant snakes made of storms with a blue glow. They twisted and curled and snarled and Jesse wasn’t quite sure if this was a nightmare or not. He was stuck in place, in time, all he could do was watch them fight, biting at each other’s throats before rumbling into the earth. A wave a sand fell over his mouth, the dryness in his throat unbearable. He coughed haggardly, wishing that he understood what the hell was going on but before he knew it a strong hand was shaking his shoulder. 

“Stop...fighting..,” he murmured sleepily only to see the confused expression of Hanzo. “Oh, we already near the main road?” He sat up, adjusting his hat due to the sun beating down on them. He wondered how long he had slept, they still looked like they were in the middle of nowhere with only rough patches of grass and cracked dirt spanned out as far as the eye could see. 

“No,” Hanzo sounded a tad annoyed, tapping his fingers anxiously across the steering wheel. “We’re out of gas.”

McCree leaned over seeing the red line all the way to the E. “Fuck.” He groaned, stretching out his arms, hitting the top of the truck.

“What do we do now?” Hanzo snapped, his voice harsher than he expected. McCree supposed the heat and lack of sleep was bothering him too. It probably didn’t help that Jesse was taking his sweet time with answering him.

“Well,” he scratched his stubble making note that he really needed a shave. “I reckon we gotta go walk down the road and hope we find a gas station nearby.”

“Hope?” Hanzo scoffed, his gaze drifting out his window. “We have to  _ hope  _ there’s a gas station nearby?” 

McCree opened his door and stumbled outside. They must’ve crossed the Oklahoma-Texas border already since there was a giant absence of green anywhere along with no red dirt. The earth was as dry as his throat. “I suppose ya can pray if you’re the type.” He lit a cigarette, musing that a smoke might clear his headache. 

Hanzo rolled his eyes, but followed suite, grimacing at his jeans being coated in dust. “This place is too dry, I feel like I’m caked in dirt.” He attempted to wipe his hands off on his jeans, but ended up with just more grim on his hands.

Jesse nodded, kicking a rock in front of them. “Yeah, this place has kinda been in a drought for a while. Ya don’t wanna be here in the summer if this is bothering ya.” McCree rolled up his sleeves further, the heat beginning to make his head foggy. Sweat beaded on his forehead by his hat, and he saw Hanzo frown as he wiped his face with his sleeve. 

He shook his head, dismissing a thought. “Let’s get going then.” He stuck his hands in his pockets while walking beside the road, hood up to help shield the sun from his eyes. McCree strode next to him, not sure what to say or even if he should say anything. They both were fairly miserable, in appearance and spirit and the last thing he wanted was to get into another argument. He shuffled along with him, feeling faint but swore at himself to get over it. They had a long day and he didn’t need his body shutting down on him. 

Hanzo seemed to take notice. “When is the last time you ate?” 

“Hm?” McCree looked up not paying attention. “Beg your pardon?” 

He sighed heavily, McCree not sure if it was from concern or frustration. Probably a bit of both. “Do we need to take a break?”

McCree spat on the ground, trying to get the taste of dirt out of his mouth to no avail. He grimaced. “Nah, I’m good. And no I’m not doing that ‘I’m too fucking prideful for my own good’ shit, it’s just we ain’t gonna get water or food or gas any faster is we sit on the side of the road.” He took a long drag, wondering himself when they’d find a gas station. He really didn’t want to pass out in front of Hanzo, not only would it prove him right but he hardly believed Hanzo could carry him in the state the two were in. With how mad at him he was, he wouldn’t be surprised if he just up and left him for coyotes. 

Hanzo coughed, his sides heaving a bit. “Curse this wind I think I’ve eaten more dirt today than I have my entire life.” He stopped to spit up more dust, wheezing. 

McCree undid his bandana and offered it to him. “Here, pull this over your face.” Hanzo stared at his hand blankly. He insisted,“Well c’mon now you’re no good to Genji if ya can’t breath.” McCree froze, the way Hanzo reached up and snatched the bandana was as if he was made of glass, careful to not make any actual contact. Nevertheless, he tied it around his face, only his dark eyes visible behind the hood. 

McCree turned around, picking up their pace along the road. “Probably keep that on too, best not be showing your face ‘round these parts.”

He heard his footsteps behind him, his feet dragging more than usual. He spoke, his voice low and weary. “Thank you.”

It tugged at his heart, the way he kept his head down and hands stuffed in his pockets. He wanted to reassure him that they’d be fine, to squeeze his hands and to tell him everything was going to be okay. McCree forced himself to keep his eyes in front of him, noting that finding a gas station was more important than soaking up every detail of Hanzo. He was done saying nice things, he needed to actually back them up with actions. He would get Genji back and finally put Deadlock in the ground once and for all, Blackwatch be damned. Though he didn’t dare check his phone, he wondered if Gabe was still looking for him or had put out a warrant for him going AWOL. Either way, it was the future’s problems, he had more than enough in the present to deal with that it didn’t bother him too much that he was essentially turning his back to one of the world’s most covert operations.  

Find Genji, kill Deadlock. It was simple, direct, and if he was good at anything it was an extraction mission with no need for subtlety. Anxiety inched up his arm, McCree knew that once the old gang got wind that he was looking for them and was alive that they would hunt him down. He wondered who was left, who was still organizing them and how they got intact with the Shimada Clan. He supposed it wouldn’t matter at the end of the day, he had no intention of leaving any of them alive, but it left so many questions unanswered. They were too dangerous, too wild to be left in the public. He said a silent prayer hoping what he packed as ammo would be enough. 

He glanced over at Hanzo who still had a katana at his waist, good lord they didn’t look like friendly folk. In his time, McCree had seen a great deal of violence, stabbings and shootings and more grotesque and creative ways for sometime to be killed. Though he didn’t think he’d ever seen someone get shot with an arrow, it seemed a bit old fashioned. McCree admitted he had liked the way the bow felt in his hands, though foreign he picked it up fairly quickly. If anything, it was a good back workout, the draw on those things were heavier than he had known. A part of him was excited to see what it looked like in it’s master’s hands for real combat, though he did wonder if they should get Hanzo a gun. Arrows and swords were cool, but neither were faster than a bullet. 

His brain was still catching up to the ‘shut your fucking face’ protocol he was trying out. He was taking to it well. “How do you fight guys with guns?” 

“Excuse me?” Hanzo seemed to be caught up in his own thoughts before the sudden question. 

McCree was glad that the sun was above them, the blush of his embarrassment well hidden by his hat’s shadow. “Uh, well you use a sword and a bow. I was just wondering how that holds up to a bunch of guys with guns.”

Hanzo appeared insulted, his eyes squinting down on Jesse. If looks could kill McCree would’ve been dead about a million times at this point. “I ‘hold up’ just fine. They cannot shoot me if they are dead.”

He honestly should just drop the subject, but the warmth was getting to his head and bleeding out to his mouth. “That doesn’t really answer my question.”

Hanzo stopped in front of him, hand on the hilt. He pulled the katana out, the blade gleaming in the sunlight. He turned to McCree, only dark eyes glaring out at him starkly contrasted by the red of the bandana. “Shoot me. Right in the head.”

McCree halted in his tracks. “The sun’s getting to your head doll, that’s insane.”  He bit his lip as Hanzo stared him down, tightening his grip. Jesse cursed at himself for the pet name, although it wasn’t intentional. 

“Do it.” His voice sounded cocky although muffled under the bandana. “I promise that if you shoot at my head you’ll end up hitting that cactus.” He gestured his head to the plant a few feet to the left of McCree. 

“I ain’t shooting at you.” Jesse nervously stroked his thumb over Peacekeeper, not at all that convinced he wouldn’t. It was insane, impossible, he’d just kill Hanzo in the middle of Texas and then what? But the possibility that he  _ could  _ actually do it was fairly alluring. 

“Don’t be a coward, cowboy.” Hanzo bent his knees, holding the sword in front of him in anticipation. “Now do you want an answer to your question or not?” 

“You sure?” McCree shrugged when Hanzo nodded. If he was out of his mind, so was Jesse plus they weren't going anywhere like this so he might as well. He'd shoot near his head, just as a safeguard to not actually kill him. “Okay here it comes,” he lifted Peacekeeper into the air towards Hanzo.

“Enough already just shoo--” Jesse interrupted him with a bang, Peacekeeper going off in a flash, the bullet ricocheting into the cactus ripping off a good chunk of it. 

Jesse tipped his hat in disbelief. “Well butter me up and call me a biscuit.” He whistled, hovering over the plant to assess the damage. “I didn’t even see you move, shit that was fast.”

Hanzo sounded pleased. “Your aim is off, it was too far right to hit my head.” He sheathed the sword before joining him by the unfortunate cactus. “But if you think I’m fast you should see Genji do it. He can deflect multiple bullets at the same time.”

“Maybe he’ll show me once we get him back.” McCree holstered his gun in thought. “But are you saying you can’t?” He teased, a smile creeping along his face.

Hanzo scoffed, before heading back to the road. “I suppose you’ll see when we go get him. I’m assuming we’ll be shot at.”

McCree groaned picking up his pace to catch up to Hanzo, his legs sore from the car ride. His game of hot and cold with Jesse right now was as exhausting as their trek but he supposed he’d just have to roll with punches. He was just glad he was talking to him again.“Oh yeah, believe me once they catch wind who we are they’ll try to light us up like it’s the Fourth of July. I didn’t leave on the best of terms.”

It surprised him to hear Hanzo chuckle, Jesse was disappointed that he couldn’t see his smile through the bandana. “That’s an understatement.”

He rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. “Well I reckon if Blackwatch didn’t finish the job, I might as well. It’d be fitting to say the least.” Deadlock had been a bad decision from the get go, but McCree couldn’t see himself surviving this long if he hadn’t taken up with them. It was a mistake, but a mistake that kept him alive. It was funny how many of those kept stacking up in his life, he wondered if it was a blessing or a curse.

Hanzo clenched his fists, all humor in his voice gone. “Believe me, we will kill them all. Every single person that had any part of kidnapping my brother will meet their miserable end.” He stood straighter, picking up the pace once more. “I’ll make sure of it.”

They fell back into the awkward silence that followed every conversation, although McCree did notice that it felt a lot less hostile. They were both hot, hungry, and tired that perhaps the fight had been sapped from them. He didn’t look forward to it, but he imagined that another argument loomed after they had gotten something to eat and drink. The world seemingly taunted him with this revelation, with a gas station finally in their sights. 

“Thank God,” McCree sighed heavily with relief as they quickly made their way to it. The station had two pumps, a worn out sign and the windows had bars but lord did it look like heaven to him. They sauntered inside, both sighing in relief from the AC blasting down on their backs. 

“Howdy.” An old man sat behind the counter, eyeing them warily. McCree couldn’t blame him, they looked the part of vagabonds especially with Hanzo’s face covered. 

He tipped his hat in return. “Hey. Was wondering if ya got a gas can, we’re out about a mile down the road.” He tried his best to smile, though the clerk didn’t seem any less tense. 

“Yeah I can help with that.” He gestured toward the back of the building. “Come with me in the back, and just a reminder for your friend there that I do believe my second amendment right to bear arms.” Jesse didn’t like the disdain he gave towards Hanzo, but he bit his lip from a sharp retort. He followed the man, noticing that he indeed had a shotgun behind the counter.

Jesse slapped his leg lightly near Peacekeeper. “No need to fret, I do too.” They made brief eye contact, the man pondering if he had vaguely threatened him. McCree hoped he took it as such, a small part of him already annoyed with the man. He turned to Hanzo who had been silently standing by the door. “Go pick out some food and some water. God, I have an almighty thirst.” Hanzo gave a curt nod before turning away, his arms crossed over his torso. 

The man handed him the can in silence, although he trailed behind him outside to get the gas. “I’ve got camera’s inside.” He said very matter-of-factly. “If you two are here to steal anything I’ll know.” 

McCree perked an eyebrow at him. He was short, balding and rounding out in the middle, nothing was threatening about the man at all. He wondered why he felt the need to keep telling Jesse that he was on to them, all they had done is ask for gas and food. He supposed they were strange figures to meet out in the middle of nowhere but a little hospitality when a long ways in the south. 

“Don’t worry if we were here to rob ya, you’d already be robbed.” He had to bite down a laugh from the horrified and offended expression the man made. “My friend just don’t talk much, see me and him have had a long ass day and we’re just looking to keep on down the road.” He took the can of gas from him a little more forceful than needed. “Thanks. I’ll pay inside.”

The man stuttered on his words and ended up just grumbling to himself as he followed him back. Jesse really shouldn’t tease the man, if he was in his position he would hold the same prejudices. Two armed, cross looking young men walk into a remote gas station, it’d be enough for most people to be hostile. Nevertheless, Jesse was tired, still thirsty as hell, and not in the mood for people to threaten him when he knew that they couldn’t back it up. As far as he was concerned the faster they got out of here, the better. 

Hanzo tapped his foot impatiently waiting at the counter, a few water bottles and gas station quality burritos splayed in front of him. He kept his face away from the stranger, probably fearful he’d get recognized although Jesse doubted this man knew anything about Deadlock’s bounty. Hell, Jesse had racked up an impressive price on his head from his time with the gang and no one around here had shown any interest in him. He supposed that it did shock him that bounty hunters had passed through Goodwell without him knowing, even more so that they were his old colleagues. He had an interesting reunion in store for him.

“That’ll be twenty four dollars and forty six cents.” The man glared harshly at Hanzo who still refused to make eye contact. “Are you paying for this? Ya better pay for this all.” 

Jesse groaned as he fished out his wallet, although the man stepped out of bounds with Hanzo. “Of course we are, what do you think we are, thieves? Murderers?” Hanzo hissed out from under the bandanna. “I don’t know what you’re fucking problem is, but I’d prefer if you’d shut the hell up and take the money.”

McCree was silenced with awe as he handed the cash to the man, surprised that he was the one to lose his cool first. The clerk didn’t take to it kindly, as he fished out his shotgun pointing it at Hanzo.

“Was that a threat boy? Ya better watch your fucking tone if ya wanna keep your head on!” 

Jesse groaned, leaning on the counter thoroughly unimpressed with the situation. The water bottles were just in front of him, so close yet so far away from his lips. He merely wanted a drink, but now Hanzo and the clerk were full fledged arguing, with a shotgun being waved about. He wondered if he had been this much of an asshole in a past life, and that this was his punishment. 

After they spouted at each other a little more Jesse stepped in, half way contemplating to just start eating the burrito. “Okay y’know keep the change we’re leaving.” He threw down the money and grabbed Hanzo’s arm who managed a few more curses in Japanese before they were outside.

McCree let go, eager to take a drink before turning back to Hanzo. “Ya wanna tell me what the fuck that was? That guy has definitely got a big gun compensation mentality going on and ya wanna antagonize him?”

Hanzo huffed, taking a long drink as well. “He was questioning our honor multiple times with no basis of his accusations. I was not about to just stand there and take his slanders.” He finished the bottle quickly and moved on to the burrito. 

“Well best get used to it,” McCree sighed, following in suit with the food. “People are gonna talk down and spit at ya and we’re gonna just have to look the other way. That’s how we keep our profiles low, and get where we’re headin best.”

Hanzo sneered, contempt radiating from his expression. “Perhaps  _ you  _ are accustomed for such treatment but I am not. I will not allow myself to be disrespected as such.”

That stung more than expected, lighting a flare in McCree's tone. “Well maybe lil Prince Shimada didn't have to take shit to get anywhere in life, but you're right as rain that  _ I  _ did. Getting into stupid fights like that just raises our profile and if we want to get to Genji before lord knows what ya need to swallow that pride and  _ listen _ to me. You ain't  _ shit _ out here, neither of us are, and that's how we gonna keep it, that's how we gonna survive.” He flared his nostrils, throwing the empty water bottle on the ground before marching off towards the road. “You ain't gonna like it, but we both are just nobody-outlaws now. Welcome to the fucking club.” He gestured sarcastically and didn't check to see Hanzo’s response. He knew there was a bit of class difference between them, but McCree wasn't in the mood and Hanzo wasn't in the position to bring them out like that. The water had soothed his throat but the dryness lingered irritability as he swallowed. 

He shot a glare behind him when he didn't hear footsteps, only to see an apologetic Hanzo picking up the empty bottle. His gaze softened, he had not meant to snap though he knew he needed to get over forgiving every pretty face. Hanzo opened his mouth to say something, but quickly reconsidered before throwing away the trash and following him up the road. He walked in silence, his head down as he pulled the bandana up. McCree wanted to say something, but he also didn't want to apologize. He had  _ meant _ what he said, that they needed to keep a low profile and Hanzo needed to understand he wasn't the lord prince out here. He was nobody wandering rural Texas, where no one would actually care if that man had shot him other than Jesse. They didn’t need to make stupid mistakes like that.

Nevertheless, he still felt bad at the way Hanzo lagged behind, keeping McCree a few yards away. The distance between them felt like miles, that he had only shoved him further away than what was repairable. He had little faith that he could ever make it up to him, but he at least wanted them to be able to get Genji together in more amiable terms. So much for making any progress on that.

They got back to the vehicle in silence, both of the men’s shoulders slumped. The bit of food and water was nice, but their restlessness only fed onto the tension. Before McCree could get a word in, Hanzo had stormed up towards the passenger seat.

“You can drive,” he stated dryly before shutting the door, leaving Jesse to fill up the truck. So much for his quiet apologetic stage.

Jesse groaned, knowing to a degree he deserved that. Hanzo was upset and his transition to America was getting worse as time went on, it wasn’t surprising he would snap at a rude clerk given the situation. McCree didn’t need to yell at him to get his point across, but he had. 

He did the task silently, edging on being too tired to care anymore about their feud. He mused about marching into the truck and tell him the truth, that he loved him and that seeing him like this was tearing him up and that he’d do anything for him though he doubted Hanzo wanted to sit through that speech. He was fairly certain Hanzo hated him, but despite their troubles Jesse’s heart continued to ache for him. He missed the closeness, the unashamed affection they had shared. Of course it was McCree’s fault for mucking it all up, but that didn’t mean he didn’t feel remorse. He was selfish, a trait most nineteen year olds held, but he knew that wasn’t an excuse. He knew better, life had aged him far past than it should’ve, and he knew that actions had consequences. That if anything seemed too good to be true, that it damn well was and he should’ve turned tail before he got attached. He quietly laughed at himself, he had always been shit at following his own advice.

McCree shook his head to himself, the sun beating onto his dust covered back. It was going to be a long drive but he supposed that’s how penance worked. He wasn’t the religious type by any means, but something about being raised Catholic never quite left a man. He figured his Catholic-guilt complex was one of the reasons he put up with so much shit, that in some way or another he deserved it all. Some days were better than others, and today wasn’t one of them. He frowned entering the truck, his handkerchief on this seat with Hanzo looking out the window utterly ignoring him. 

He didn’t try to make small talk. McCree knew at this point that any apologies would be meaningless, and the last thing he wanted was to delve into another heated yelling session. He rolled down the window, letting the wind brush across his face as they got back on the road, a slight comfort, but a comfort nonetheless.

He wondered about love of all things as they passed cracked earth and pavement, the world seemingly all dust and grime. He wondered if Hanzo had meant what he said, and not a spur of the moment sort of thing. If he did, he couldn’t imagine that he held the same affection, but McCree didn’t know if something like love could be shrugged off so easily. Did he still care about him? He knew he would rope the sun for him if he asked, that he had turned his back on Reyes by driving out here with him, but he wasn’t so sure where Hanzo stood. He wondered if he actually hated him, not that he would blame him if he did, but the very thought was like a punch in the gut to Jesse. He knew that this was all irrational, that once they saved Genji from Deadlock that the brothers would go one way and he’d go the other. Yet the idea of the finality if he left, if or when Hanzo actually left, made him feel sick. McCree had learned a lot from his short time alive, but the complications and odd nooks and crannies of love bewildered him. He took a deep breath, attempting to clear his mind. He needed to focus on figuring out how to deal with Deadlock and rescuing Genji, and more immediately the road.

Hanzo had laid his head back against the seat, dozing off for only what could be assumed was much needed sleep. McCree mused he could think of something worth saying by the time he woke up, but he was dubious if Hanzo would be up for a conversation. It was ironic to a degree, that every time he finally thought things were looking up that he would be the one to ruin it for himself. 

He grumbled before turning on the radio, the white noise of country music helped clear out his overbearing thoughts. He had a job to do, and he’d be damned if he didn’t finish it. He was already neck deep in trouble and never feared the plunge. He had wised up enough to know looking back was pointless, that in order for things to get better he had to go forward. So he went forward.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know the chapter's a bit slow but hey big things are coming up as I actually have finished out planning out the ending (mostly). The fic is gonna be 20-21 chapters long but after 19 if it's actually two more chapters I'll just do a double upload! Again sorry if this chapter is meh, I really wrote this in fragments so maybe it doesn't flow well?? yikes.
> 
> Thanks again for all the support, I really am gonna try to get back to uploading weekly...
> 
> If you need to contact me for whatever i'm on tumblr @ draconicfly and twitter @draconic_fly


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So it starts off with a dream sequence if you're confused! Also note there's some graphic violence in this chapter (idk if i would consider it as such but better to be safe than sorry)  
> Thanks again for all the support! All the kudos and comments really motivate me to keep writing haha it's really fun and I enjoy interacting with you guys!

The breeze was soft and pleasant, green grass spanning as far as the eye could see. Hanzo always loved Hanamura in the spring, the slumbering trees would wake up bringing forth fountains of blossoms, petals littering the earth in the softest of pinks. The woods was not too far from their estate, it was as simple as jumping the walls to explore the unknown woods. Often he’d go as a child to play hide and seek with Genji there, and when he was a bit older he’d go there to practice with his bow. It was sacred, untainted lands that he loved dearly, only filled with pleasant memories and childlike nostalgia. 

However, this time was different. He was lower to the ground, no bow in hand or a hand to trail his fingers across the trees. He was a wolf, his ears sharp and eyes shifting, the woods felt  _ different  _ more vivid _.  _  Everything was more  _ intense _ , the scents, the colors, everything was overwhelming but it was screaming  _ home  _ to him. He ran through the brush; twigs and branches caught his fur in painful tangles but he was strong. Nothing slowed him down, nothing could get in his way as the only thing he could focus on was the steady drum of his feet on the earth, more and more ground slipping away that he felt like he was flying. Hanzo had never experienced such a sense of freedom, he was light, weightless as a cloud. The woods were his, and his alone. A lone wolf ruled the land without law or regard of the outside world, he could be safe here, he could be happy. There was no fiercer warrior than him on his own terrain, the people of Hanamura knew better to question a Shimada let alone the wolf. 

That is when the wolf heard the flutter of wings rush against the treetops, the footsteps and shouts of a man not too far away. Anger filled his lungs as he bared his teeth into a wicked smile. There were few pleasures in the life of a wolf, but the hunt was something essential, something intrinsic into becoming one with the wild. He sprang forth, faster than before as he kicked up some dirt, following the trail of erratically falling blossoms. Pink wisps fell slowly, lazily idling across the sky in all directions before meeting the earth below, their final destination. The wolf had almost envied them, the beauty they exalted in stillness and simplicity, nowhere to truly go with all the time of eternity to get there. It was something the wolf worried about often, that he was always running out of time. He knew it was foolish to let such petty anxieties eat at him, but no beast was without burden. He feared that he would not catch up to the flutters before the shouts did, that he would fail as the protector of the woods and all those who lived within it. That he would slander what it meant to be a wolf, that he was not as strong and fast as he should be. That he would not be able to fulfil the expectations set for him. 

Before doubt could overcome the wolf, he found that he had wandered into a clearing, the trail of petals abruptly ending. Up above flew a single sparrow, singing sweetly into the wind, carelessly cruising along the currents. 

“Sparrow do you not fear the hunter?” The wolf cried out, his voice a harsh growl. “It is foolish to fly out in the open as such!”

The sparrow laughed, clear and loud. “There is no hunter I see! Only you my dear wolf!” He circled the sky with his eyes closed, basking in the warmth from the beating sun. “No one can hurt me up here! I am free!”

The wolf frowned, his claws digging into the dirt. He could not reach the sparrow if he jumped, he could not stop him from flying if he wanted to. The wolf knew he was greater than him, yet what was the point of his power if he could not even catch a small sparrow? He sat down impatiently, eyeing the sparrow down to no avail. It made him anxious as well as jealous, wishing that he too could soar among the clouds. 

“Dear wolf do not look so blue!” The sparrow called out in his sing-song voice. “Come up, join me!”

“But I have no wings!” the wolf replied, irritated that he mocked him so. 

The sparrow only continued to chirp cheerfully. “No, but you have strong legs for jumping! Strong claws for digging! Strong teeth for grinning!” 

The wolf contemplated for a moment prompting the sparrow to sing more. 

“Just try, dear wolf! There is no shame!”

He hesitated, but agreed that he indeed had nothing to lose. The wolf lowered himself to the ground, excitement pulsing through his muscles before the leap. 

“Yes! That’s good, very good dear wolf!” The sparrow cried as the wolf leapt upward, his tail wagging jerkily. 

He pumped his legs through the air awkwardly as he went forward, catching the currents of the wind. It propelled him further up, he could feel the air cool circle around his stomach as it pushed up against him.

“I’m-I’m flying!” He exclaimed gleefully as he became closer to the sparrow. “I am free!”

“Yes!” The sparrow agreed, drifting closer to the wolf. “We are free!”

Before the wolf could reach the sparrow, an arrow as swift as the sea came bursting through his new friend’s chest. The sparrow’s eye’s widened in surprise, in betrayal, before he came crashing down towards the earth. The sparrow looked so small, dripping red as it spread across his chest. He no longer sang, nor would he ever again, his eyes milky and faded. 

“No!” The wolf screamed, before tumbling downwards after him. The hunter’s steps grew faint as he fled, kicking up petals along the way. 

This angered the wolf, he sprang forward to pursue the hunter, his teeth bared in a fierce snarl. The man was quick and clever, but not nearly enough to escape the wolf. In a matter of minutes, he had found the man stopped beneath a cherry tree, placing something onto a large pile of flowers.

“You coward!” He bellowed before leaping onto the man, burying his teeth into his flesh, tasting blood and crunching bone. 

The man did not cry, nor did he turn around. Black hair melted into dust, the taste of blood into feathers. 

The wolf looked down in confusion, only to see a sparrow’s feather arranged neatly on top of the cascade of fallen flowers, the taste of blood heavy in his mouth. The wolf felt leaden, turning around slowly, his legs stiff. 

He heard the sound of an arrow being drawn back knowing that the hunter had been the one to find him. The wolf accepted it, that he had failed the sparrow and his death was inevitable. He only hoped that the next protector would be better.

“Do your worst hunter,” he growled before turning back to face his enemy. His mouth grew dry when all he could see was his own reflection, not of the wolf but of Hanzo. “Wait--”

The arrow was released as he glared down at himself, the world fading from pink to red to black.

  
  


“Hanzo,” McCree’s voice was raspy. “Hanzo we’re here.” He shook his shoulder softly though that didn’t help his own reaction.

He woke up with a gasp, as if he was suffocating, the taste of blood still clogging his mouth. Hanzo didn’t recognize where he was at first, prompting him to reach towards the door handle, every nerve in his body screaming for him to get out. 

McCree grabbed his arm, visibly startled. “Hey now, it was just a dream.” The pressure wasn’t reassuring, but it did give him enough time to get his bearings. Hanzo pulled away sharply, grunting an incomprehensible response.

Jesse looked away, shaking his head. He dropped the handkerchief near him. “Whatever, alright. Just put this on, don’t look nobody in the eye and let me do all the talking.”

Disoriented, Hanzo blinked at him a few times. “What?”

McCree appeared more annoyed than anything. “We’re here, at Cactus. It’s a fairly small place so people will know we’re strangers right away. Since you’re especially foreign lookin’, ya need to keep your face covered so they don’t know we’re here.” He scratched the back of his head, squinting his eyes at the sunset. “Shit, it’s getting late.”

Hanzo grumbled taking the red handkerchief. “Won’t they recognize you?” 

“Didn’t know you cared,” McCree said with a bit more bite than Hanzo had expected. “But they all think I’m dead. Ya typically don’t find something ya not even looking for.” He glanced over to Hanzo who rose an eyebrow. “And I’ll be subtle.”

Hanzo eyed him over, from his boots to his hat. “I’m sure.” He opened the door, his worn shoes landing in cracked earth. It wasn’t as dry and ragged as the roads before, but it wasn’t a garden by a long shot. 

“Hey everyone round here dresses like me,” McCree shut his door before tapping the hilt of Hanzo’s sword. “This stays in the truck, ain’t no how we’re walking around town with a fucking katana.”

Hanzo stared at the blade for a moment, wanting to argue though he knew there wasn’t a good one. He didn’t want to let go of it, that somehow it was a constant reminder that Genji was near, that they would find him before it was too late. That he hadn’t failed him yet. After a while of inner contemplation, he hid it in the back in the bed of the truck. 

“I’m taking my bow,” his voice was low and curt. McCree snorted, but didn’t press it further.

They walked into town, Jesse wasn’t exaggerating when he said it was small. Hanzo could spot what looked like a neighborhood, with a few rows of houses hidden behind what looked like their supermarket. The streets were mostly cleared out as darkness fell, he doubted the night life was very exciting. 

Jesse had parked them in the town’s gas station’s parking lot, a bit away but Hanzo could see the flickering dying lights of a motel sign. The red neon was harsh to his eyes, along with the rest of Cactus. The place seemed dirty and there was a disturbing lack of actual cacti. 

“Where do we start?” Hanzo absently asked, still sizing the town up. 

“First a motel room, because I’m beat.” Jesse lacked any humor in his voice, the slump in his shoulders told Hanzo how truthful he was. “Then I was planning getting up early to reacquaint myself with ole Cactus, it’s changed a bit since I’ve last been here.” He lit a cigarette, the red glow illuminating his face. He looked older in the lighting, long lines drawn on his forehead with bags under his eyes. He did look tired. “Then we pinpoint where Deadlock is, or at least capture one of their guys. From there we can get info about Genji.”

Hanzo scoffed. “What makes you think they’d give intel so freely? Or are they easy to break?”

McCree cracked a grin with a chuckle. “Hell, an interrogation only goes so far with these guys but I’m sure the two of us can think of something.” He clenched his fist, his knuckles white. “Everybody got a breaking point. Just matters how much pressure ya put down.”

“I suppose,” Hanzo drifted back to the motel sign, the ‘o’ had died and now it was just the m tel. He mused it matched the demeanour of the situation, a bit hopeless and a dying light.

He followed McCree into the building silently, finding that his mind was too busy wandering off rather than to listen to McCree’s conversation with the clerk. Hanzo recognized he was good at talking to people, he smiled easy and put the woman behind the counter at ease despite two odd strangers showing up in the middle of the night. He figured if he was a ground agent in a covert ops group it only made sense that smooth talking was one of his skills, it had certainly had worked on Hanzo at one point. He frowned bitterly at the thought, somewhat grateful that the bandana blocked it but cursed it all the same. It didn’t help that he had Jesse’s intoxicating scent wrapped around his face, that with every breath he took he was reminded of what longing and betrayal felt like. It burned sweetly, and ate him in more ways than one.

He surveyed the interior, finding himself more disgusted with the dust and grime that lined the walls. The wallpaper looked as if was from several decades back, and peeled at the edges revealing a sickly yellow wall underneath. Whatever small town charm Goodwell had, Cactus obviously lacked. The only thing in the room that was mildly amusing was a cactus statue with a cowboy hat. The words ‘Don’t mess with Texas’ were in bright red lettering on the figures stand. Hanzo wondered if Jesse had noticed it, though he quickly chased the thought away. 

Whatever they were talking about seemed to make Jesse nervous as he was hesitant to meet Hanzo’s eyes when he turned back to him. He gestured for them to go outside, keys in hand along with only what could be described as a forced smile. 

“They only got one room available at the time, who would’ve thought.” He laughed sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck. “Don’t even see any cars out here, I wonder what’s going on.”

“Perhaps they are all too disgusting for human occupancy,” Hanzo scoffed, still unimpressed with the dusty doors and chipped painting. “But we don’t really need more than one room.” He knew it was going to hurt like a bitch, but two separate rooms was a bit much. Sure he didn’t know if he wanted to kiss him or kill him when he looked at Jesse, but to his roots Hanzo was pragmatic. 

“Yeah..” Jesse opened the door, the sound of the hinges creaking was more than unpleasant. 

“Oh.” Hanzo finally saw what had bothered Jesse, besides the tacky curtains, dusty furniture, and what had to be the smallest refrigerator he had ever seen. There was only a single bed. 

Jesse shrugged sheepishly at him. “Don’t worry I’ll just--”

“I’ll sleep on the floor.” Hanzo grabbed one of the pillows and walked to the other side of the surprisingly large room. The floor didn’t have carpet but was filled with tile which he supposed was nice in the fact it would be easy to clean although cold. He had been sleeping in a warehouse for the last month or so, he could manage this.

McCree looked genuinely shocked as Hanzo threw down his pack and bowcase. “You..you don’t gotta do that. You should get the bed, I mean this is--”

He interrupted McCree again, scowling underneath his hood. “This is my fault. I know you will say otherwise, but I take responsibility for what happened to Genji. If you truly want to help then please go ask the lady if she has spare sheets.” He spoke politely, hoping to avoid another spat. He understood where Jesse felt guilty, but no matter what actions he took none of this would’ve happened if Hanzo had stuck to his plan. Never stay anywhere longer than a few weeks, always stay on the move, never use their real names: he had broken all of his own rules. And now his brother was gone.

Jesse seemed to want to avoid an argument as well as he merely nodded in agreement. “Well, if that’s how ya feel who am I to tell ya how to live.” He shook his head somewhat exasperated before walking out the door. 

Hanzo let out a small sigh, taking a hand towel from the bathroom to clean up the floor a bit. He wanted nothing more than to strip down and take a shower, to clean the layer of dirt and grime that covered his body but the knowledge that Genji could be here prevented him from doing so. He shoved the hand towel to the corner, rubbing his hands in thought. Jesse would no doubt be pissed if Hanzo left without him, that if he returned to an empty room. However, he wanted to scout the town, learn it’s layout before they truly started investigating and there was no better time to do that other than night. He found a small bible in one of the drawers and a pen and scribbled on the title page. 

“ _ Going out for a walk, don’t worry I’ll be back.” -H” _

He wondered if this would actually do anything, if Jesse would care. He’d probably be mad but Hanzo decided that a little recon with some fresh air would be nice. His legs had been in a car far too long for the past day, they needed a good stretch.

The night sky was clear with not a cloud to be seen. The stars were vast and beautiful, something that should be revelled in yet Hanzo couldn’t bring himself to smile. All he could think of was an old sheet on a shooting range, how Jesse’s scent meant something so much differently to him after only a couple days ago. He didn’t like this, the mess of affection conflicting with rationale. It was complicated and made him feel juvenile. Hanzo had never thought another person would have so much say on his state of being, it was ridiculous yet he couldn’t help but ache at the thought of what was lost. He kept losing things, as the dragons remained silent he had nothing, no one to turn too. Hanzo stifled a quiet cry, feeling like a small child again wanting nothing more than to lay in his mother’s arms with his brother. He missed Genji dearly, he could only shudder at the thoughts of what may have happened to him at this point. He hoped that he found him soon.

There were only a few streetlights that riddled the streets, most of the town was consumed in darkness. He found not a soul walked about, and he kept to the shadows himself. The last thing Hanzo needed was another incident like he had nearly caused at the gas station. He narrowed his eyes in thought of the other man, how crude and cowardly he had been. Hanzo knew to a degree he had been out of line in causing a scene, but he doubted that he’d apologize for it. At least, never to that clerk.

The town was simple for the most part, his initial impressions all checked out. The houses were all grouped together, with the stores lining up along what was deemed ‘main street’. He didn’t wander too far from the motel, though all he could assume that there was a small schoolhouse somewhere lost in the buildings along with other staples of small town life. He let out a small huff, somewhat disappointed with it all. The place hardly seemed sinister, he doubted that Deadlock was here which meant that his brother probably wasn’t as well. Perhaps the town had been different when Jesse was apart of them, but there was about zero night activity going on which didn’t scream ‘gang’ at all. He leaned against a wall, his hands shoved deep into his pockets. There was a chill to the air, but he found it more comfortable than anything. What skin on his face that was exposed singed from the coolness, he pulled down the bandana to take a long and heavy breath. So this was the ‘country fresh air’ he had heard some of the locals in Goodwell talk about. It was good.

Hanzo smiled to himself, thinking that despite his own troubles that the little town in Oklahoma was for the most part unchanged. They were good people, although with their own prejudices and faults. He closed his eyes and mused what it would’ve been like to be born like them; to not have their lives planned out before them but to enjoy each day individually with it’s own mysteries. Hanzo acknowledged that he had ruined what plans his father had for him when he left, but before that point he had never felt like his own person. Even now, he struggled with it, that the notion that he could simply do as he pleased. That when he found Genji, he’d be back at square one with the problem with this plan: there was no long term goal. They would be back wandering on the road. 

His eyes trailed back up to the sky, fixating on what was visible of the moon. It was thin and sickle shaped, like a sharp grin. He couldn’t help but feel like it was mocking him in his troubles, like everything else in his life.

He turned quickly as he heard the patter of feet against concrete down a nearby alleyway. Hanzo made his way to investigate, wondering if this was his break, that this could be his link back to his brother. The person was easy to track with their heavy breathing that contrasted the quietness of the night. He mentally took note of how many turns he took, following them deep into the back roads of the general stores. He figured they were fleeing something, he recognized that they were getting further and further from the main road, but also from the town in general. He eventually caught up with the stranger, they had their hands on their knees taking desperate breathes standing out on the outskirts of town behind a small building. Hanzo came up behind him cautiously, realizing that he was unarmed. He’d play it safe and dumb for now, see if could take information before a hostage.

“Hey are you oka--” as Hanzo reached out to the person’s shoulder, they quickly turned around gripping his arm tightly. The stranger was a man, probably a few years older than Hanzo himself, with no real distinguishable features. His eyes looked red, as if he hadn’t been sleeping or was crying all day. Hanzo could believe both.

“Y-you shouldn’t be here,” his voice quivered in a harsh whisper. “He-he’s coming and he,” he let Hanzo go running his hands through his sandy hair. “Oh Jesus, he’s going to ki--,” he choked on his own words before returning his attention to a confused Hanzo. “You should get out of this town while you can. Don’t accept any job’s here it’s all a tric--.” The man cut himself off again, looking back towards the silhouette of buildings. 

“Breathe,” Hanzo commanded, attempting to calm the frazzled man. “I’m not here to hurt you, who is this ‘he’ you speak of?” 

The man blinked a few times absently before replying. “What, you don’t know?” He took a long look at Hanzo’s face before grimacing. “You should go, I don’t know you but he’s looking for somebody who looks awfully like ya.” He paused. “He’s… he’s a goddamn monster.”

Hanzo was stunned. They were actually here, in the middle of nowhere Texas, Genji was nearby. He was on the right track. “Look, I’m sorry for any pain they have caused you but I need to know where to find him.”

“What?! Are you fucking crazy?” The man raised his voice before quickly hushing himself. “Look kid you don’t go to ‘find’ these people, you need to get the fuck out of here. Like I’m doing.”

Hanzo gritted his teeth. The man had large bags under his eyes along with what looked like a cut on his cheek. He knew he must have his reasons for leaving in a such a manner, but he needed answers. “I know it’s Deadlock here, they have my brother.” He placed his hand on the man’s shoulder, looking him in the eyes. “I need to get him back so please, I  _ need _ to know.”

The man pondered on this for a moment, his face somber. “I--I can’t.” Hanzo dropped his hands to his side, frowning. “Your brother is probably dead, my advice is that you should go, it’s  _ worse _ than Deadlock.” He closed his eyes, biting his lip. “I’m sorry but--” 

He was cut off by a loud bang, a flash of light. A gun. Hanzo was shocked, his eyes wide. Warm blood sputtered from the man’s neck as he choked out lost words. He fell forward grabbing onto Hanzo, his grip loose. He felt the blood cover his face, trickling down his skin and soaking onto his clothes. He held onto him in silence as another figure approached from the shadows.

“Tsk, tsk, tsk.” He wore a black blazer, a golden ‘T’ curved across his shoulder. Hanzo watched him holster his gun, a sardonic smile on his face. “What a shame, he might’ve gotten away if he didn’t stop for a little chit-chat, but that was always Pete’s problem you see.” He grinned flashing an array of golden teeth. “Always had a big mouth and loose lips.” His accent was deep and Southern, the way he drawled out his words made Hanzo uneasy if he was ever actually done with his sentences.

Hanzo kept the dead man in his arms, hoping that the blood and the darkness would mask his features. This man could not know he was Hanzo, he could not know why he was here. The dragons begged him to drop Pete and to fight, that he could feel the adrenaline pump through his veins aching for action. This man was part of whatever organization took his brother, he was responsible. He wanted to hurt him.

“Quiet type huh?” The man tilted his head, eyeing Hanzo who remained silent. “No need for ya to get shy now boy, what were ya asking good ole Pete here about?”

Hanzo placed the body down slowly, the fire of the other man’s gaze hot on his back. He couldn’t speak, his accent would give him away in a heartbeat as he tugged on Jesse’s bandana back over his nose. He managed to give a shaky breath and a small whine, hoping it was enough to fool the man that he was too shocked for words. In a way, Hanzo was. He hadn’t ever been this caked in another man’s blood before.

“Aw, don’t cry over him now. No one else will mourn him, he was a real asshole.” The stranger with gold teeth laughed to himself before continuing. “Good shot, but hell he had to break the rules. Ya get that don’t ya boy? That place’s got rules and ya can’t just run away from them when you damn please to.”

Hanzo stood up and took a step back towards town, wondering if he could make it back into the back alleys if he made a dash for it. The click of a gun told him otherwise.

“Now, now I didn’t say ya could go yet. Don’t be rude boy, I don’t like rude people.” Hanzo bent his head down but could see his eyes twinkle in the starlight. Gold, like most of his adornments. 

Hanzo stood still, his hands tightened to fists by his sides. He needed to get away, but he knew he couldn’t outrun a bullet. Hanzo only glared back at the man, who only seemed to be interested in the gold work he had done to his gun. 

“A real beauty ain’t she? Cost me a fortune.” He kicked at Pete’s body, uncomfortably close to Hanzo now. “Suppose they’ll be less people to pay now though.”

He chuckled at himself as Hanzo swallowed deeply. The dragons goaded him, calling him a coward. He felt the unspent energy spark against his skin, the ink on his arm pinching him in protest of his inaction. He bit his lip to prevent a sharp retort, a nausea swimming around his gut. 

“Now, don’t be mad at me.” He pointed the gun at Hanzo’s head. “I just want to have a nice midnight chat and here ya being all rude to me.”

Hanzo remained silent, keeping his eyes cast on Pete’s body. He wondered if this was the hunter in his dream, that this was indeed how it ended. He was too far from anything to get away in time from a point blank shot, and the man with golden teeth didn’t look the least bit shaken. He bit into his lip, bleeding slightly.

The man cocked the gun, grinning from ear to ear. A loud shot, a flash of light, Hanzo watched him shoot another bullet into Pete’s body, before pointing it back at Hanzo. “Bang!” He mimicked the recoil from the gun, finding the whole ordeal amusing. He was fucking with him.

The golden man holstered the gun after a few more tense moments passed, though he was still chuckling. “Don’t get ya panties in a bunch if I wanted ya dead we wouldn’t be talking.” He pulled out a handkerchief from his pocket, a stark white. He walked towards Hanzo, only a foot or so away.

“Don’t.” He cursed himself for speaking, but his voice was low and hoarse that perhaps his accent wasn’t distinctive.

The man let out a loud laugh. “So you do talk there, son.” He ignored Hanzo, and reached forward wiping dirt and blood off of Hanzo’s brow. “Ya don’t know Pete he’s the sort of nasty fellow, ya really don’t want his shit all over you now, do ya boy.” Hanzo willed himself to stay still, to not lunge out to wrap his hands over the man’s neck. He was cocky, but dangerous. He needed to get out of this alive above all else, his pride be damned. 

The man with the golden teeth seemed pleased enough with his lack of resistance, stuffing the dirty handkerchief into Hanzo’s pocket. “You might want to clean yourself when ya get home, son. Wash yourself off and forget what you saw.” He wiped his hand that had some blood on it on Hanzo’s hoodie. He shuddered at his touch, a mixture of rage and disgust bubbling to the surface.

He paid him no mind. “ Now why don’t ya keep passing through town and don’t get into any more trouble.” He started back towards town before he spoke again. “The sheriff don’t take too kindly to visitors so be a good boy and run along to wherever ya came from.”“ Hanzo stood rigid as he watched him disappear into the night, his walking much like his speech, slow and with long strides.

After a few minutes, Hanzo started to run back to the motel, the reality of everything sinking in. It was insane, there was no way in hell that the man didn’t know who he was, and Hanzo didn’t understand why he let him go. Sure he could hope that he didn’t recognize him, but that man was too calm and unsettling to put anything past. Pain streaked up his legs as he exerted his muscles past what was normal, he wanted nothing more than to wash the blood off of him. His mind flashed between the man dying in his arms and what the golden man had said. The sheriff’s station. He knew that he needed to investigate further, despite it being an obvious trap. There were too many unknowns going into this, but he had to take the bait. If there was even the slightest of chances that he could get more information about Genji’s whereabouts he’d take the risk. No matter how stupid he’d be for believing. 

It didn’t take long for him to be back in front of the flickering motel sign. He sighed heavily, wondering if Jesse was awake waiting up for him. He’d like to have someone else’s ear to say what happened but he also didn’t want him to see him covered in blood. Too many questions where he knew he wouldn’t be able to provide any answers. Not any of substance, not right now.

The door was left unlocked, and he tried his best to open it slowly, the creaking somewhat softer. The lights were off, and he could see an outline of McCree on the bed, unmoving. He snored confirming to Hanzo that he was indeed asleep.

He crept to the bathroom, tip toeing after slipping off his shoes by the door. He shut himself in, methodically taking off articles of clothing, washing his hands in the sink. He watched the red go off his skin down the drain absently, his mind still shell shocked. A man had died in his arms tonight. He felt the life slip out of his body, the warmth of his blood, how the pressure gradually ended once he succumbed to the wound. All by the man with the golden teeth, the one that held a gun to him and laughed, and yet all the same let him leave. It made no sense, not a lick of it, but his hands were more productive as they scrubbed at the crusted blood on his face and neck. He clawed at his skin, the cold water sobering him. He stifled a shudder, wiping his face with a towel only to see he had stained the white material red. It was infectious, his hoodie was stained along with the Jesse’s handkerchief. He wondered if he’d be mad. 

Hanzo attempted to clean the mess up, folding everything neatly, orderly. He felt that maybe he could contain the chaos of it if he washed any signs of it away, if he kept it tidy. It was nonsensical, but nevertheless he mused it was a comfort as he chipped red off his nails. If they had time he’d see if he could wash them up in the morning, the only small victory he had was that his jeans were too dark for anyone to see the dried blood. 

Hanzo left the bathroom, clicking the light off only to be met with the darkness deep at night. McCree’s steady breathing soothed him, he knew it wasn’t his to take comfort from but he did. He noticed that Jesse had lined up several comforters and a few pillows on the floor, it wasn’t much but it was nice. Hanzo curled up on top of the blankets, his eyes glued shut. It was an unspoken kindness, not one that he would ignore. 

Hanzo couldn’t suppress a shiver, his grip on the sheets too tight. He was only in his boxers now, the sheets feeling too rough against his skin, like the cloth from the gold toothed man when he wiped his eyes. He wanted nothing more than to scream, to climb up to the top of this motel and yell for all it was worth until there was nothing left of him. He wondered how people slept after such occurrences, but the way his mind drooped told he was near the edge. The way Hanzo was raised, of course he was too calm and comfortable with it all. Of course he could see the limp, riddled body of Pete in his mind and feel nothing. Of course he could only fixate on what the golden man had meant.

With great unease Hanzo fell asleep wondering if the smell of blood ever washed off someone’s skin. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some shenanigans are in store in the next chapter :) Although it may be a bit before I update again, it's finals week for college so I will do my best to not ignore my writing though!  
> Unrelated note, my friend showed me the song on hold by the xx and i think it sorta fits this fic if ya u need some tunes  
> Thanks again for all the support!
> 
> If you need to contact me for any reason i'm on tumblr @ draconicfly and twitter @ draconic_fly


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally a more eventful chapter, warnings for violence though tbh that can be expected for the rest of the fic! Sorry for the wait haha, finals have left me a little dead but I got super high marks so it was def worth it. Thanks again for all the support, I honestly love interacting with you guys!   
> I edit everything on my own so all mistakes are on me.

Worried. Irritated. Tired. McCree was worn down from the past day and seeing that Hanzo had gone off to do only lord knows what didn’t help with any of Jesse’s current afflictions. He was stubborn, and more resilient than he expected but he’d be damned if he stood up all night waiting for Hanzo to turn up.

He had fetched him a good amount of pillows if he was going to so willfully insist sleeping on the floor. The thought crossed Jesse’s mind that he could easily settle down on the makeshift bed himself, but after his head hit the pillows it wasn’t long before he was snoring. Hanzo could sleep on the real bed tomorrow.

 

His phone went off, blaring that horrible auto-alarm tune that caused him to nearly throw the thing. He had set it for five that morning, and was extremely tempted to set it back at six before he heard Hanzo’s gravelly voice.

“Good morning,” he looked like he’d been awake for a while, his hair still wet from a shower. He sat by the window, a towel still draped across his shoulders. Hanzo crossed his arms, his skin streaked in red as if he had been scrubbing too hard. McCree blinked a few times letting his mouth catch up to his brain.

“You’re up early,” he yawned, stretching his arms out. A full night of sleep did him a load of good. “How was ya walk? Didn’t even hear you come back inside.” He chuckled to himself rubbing his eyes. “I slept like a rock.”

Hanzo didn’t turn to face him, his gaze was directed outside the window where rays of sunlight slipped through the blinds contrasting the darkness of his eyes.“Good, I suppose.” There was a heavy pause. “I found some information that might help us with our search.”

Immediately Jesse noticed that something was off in his tone, the usual self-assured sense of ‘I-know-more-than-you-do’ had apparently vanished overnight. He seemed...shaken. McCree scratched his head, not sure what to make of it. “Well, that  _ is _ good. Might I ask what?” 

“I..” he trailed off as if his mind was elsewhere before continuing. “I think we need to talk to the sheriff. He might know more about what’s going on in town.”

His voice wavered and Hanzo wrapped his arms around himself, squeezing as if to reassure himself. Something was definitely wrong. 

Jesse walked up to him carefully, as if Hanzo would spook like a deer. He may appear fragile at the moment, but he knew him well enough that his demeanor could change in flash. “Makes sense...but...what brought that up? Like, from your walk.”

He cleared his throat refusing to turn to him. McCree was close enough to catch the scent of soap, clean and compelling. He wondered what he was trying to cover up. “It was...suggested from a man I met last night. More of a warning actually, but at this point I don’t think we’re backing down at cryptic messages.” He huffed to himself eyes glued to world beyond the glass. “I think I found Deadlock, or at least an associate.”

McCree felt his blood boil and freeze all at once, his hand tightening into a fist. “What? What’d they do, how do you know?” If they had laid a hand on Hanzo he promised that he would finish what Gabriel started, excluding the prison deals. It was bad enough that they had the other Shimada, but whatever game they were playing was only of the sick variety. Jesse  _ knew _ them, knew what they were capable of, that they had little to no boundaries, no line of decency they wouldn’t breach. Hanzo continued to stare blankly outside before Jesse bit his lip and placed his hand on his shoulder, a visceral, physical connection. “You know ya can talk to me about anything still right?” He realized they had been at each other’s throats more rather than less these last few days, but there wasn’t a damned thing he wouldn’t do for him. Jesse was going to everything in his power to make it all up to him; he only hoped that Hanzo understood that.  

It was a shot in the dark, a moment of vulnerability, but McCree wasn’t about to go on denying how he still felt about him. He’d let go if Hanzo showed any sign of discomfort but he surprisingly reached his hand up to McCree’s, holding on to it loosely. 

His voice was quiet and rough, that he almost missed it. “I know.” 

They stood in silence for what seemed like an eternity, Jesse closing his eyes to reflect. He loved him. He loved Hanzo more than he had ever thought possible and seeing him in pain was a torture he didn’t know how to handle. He felt electricity pulse where their hands met, a warmth, a spark, a hint of hope. He loved him, and maybe for this brief moment he could pretend like Hanzo loved him too. 

The spell ended when he tapped his fingers prompting McCree to let go. “I trailed a man who was trying to escape town...I questioned him. He wasn’t particularly helpful but he did warn me to leave this place.” He paused, brow furrowed. “Then that’s when the other man appeared. His gun was gilded in gold. He shot him.”

Jesse rubbed the back of his head, frowning. “Well shit.”

“He...he warned me to leave as well, along with a throwaway comment about the sheriff. It might be nothing, but I doubt that man says anything without meaning another.” Hanzo fiddled with his hair between his fingers, obviously bothered. “He had...golden teeth and an accent deeper than yours. You don’t recognize anyone from Deadlock like that do you?”

Jesse itched to reach out to him again, to feel the warmth of his skin, though he knew better than to test his luck. What mattered was they were back on the chase, and that Hanzo had found them a lead. He needed to stay focused, professional. “Nah, I don’t reckon I do. Doesn’t mean he ain’t Deadlock, might’ve just frilled himself up in these last few years. Lots of guys are from the South though, so the accent doesn’t really narrow it down any.” He wanted a cigarette to chew on, but he hadn’t even had his coffee yet. He was having either a super slow or too quick of a morning. “Either way, he’s someone to keep an eye on. What happened to the guy who got shot?”

Hanzo’s expression faltered, the tips of his mouth wilting. “He died.”

“Oh.” McCree could see it troubled him more than he let on, the small motions of his face betraying his stiff appearance. “Well shit.”

“Yeah.” Hanzo stood up taking a deep breath. “So we should get to work. Before anyone else dies because of my absent mindedness.”

“Hanzo, it ain’t your fault.” He wanted to comfort him, but he doubted his words were falling on willinging ears. Hanzo beat himself up, he would always blame himself despite any circumstances. He was a creature cursed with guilt and self-depreciation. “But ya wanna start at the sheriff’s station? If it’s the same guy as it was back when, then I doubt he’s part of it.” McCree remembered the man, with his overgrown mustache and stern eyes. He was a ‘by the book’ sort of guy that could never pin down any real evidence on Deadlock. The sheriff had hated that the gang was around, but never could crack down on them and find evidence that warranted an arrest that’d stick. He doubted that he would work with them now of all times. 

“I believe he’s an important link. It’s his town and it’s not that big, he has to know something.” Hanzo squinted his eyes as he wiped off excess dirt from his jeans. “But you do know this town better. It’s your call.”

McCree silently thanked God that somehow Hanzo was in a more agreeable mood although he figured it was linked to his bad experience last night. It was upsetting, but that was the reality of their situation. People died. People played around with other’s emotions and lives like dice. It drove him mad that Hanzo had gotten into that position in the first place, but at this time that anger wouldn’t help. They had a mission, and Jesse was ready to put in the groundwork.

“We’ll snoop around town a bit, talk a bit but not much. If nothing turns up, we’ll head over to the sheriff’s.” He gave him a clap on the back before turning back to the bed. “Just follow my lead.” He wandered to pick up his jeans, a bit abashed now realizing how he was parading through this whole conversation in just his shirt and boxers. 

Hanzo didn’t seem to notice. “Jesse...I know in your line of work you’ve had to kill people, right? Do you remember most of them?”

McCree shrugged, trying to shake the danger that came with the question. “I mean we ran around a lot. People got shot, but if I wanted to sleep at night, I suppose I don’t remember the lot of them.” It wasn’t a lie exactly. He honestly didn’t know all the faces of people he had killed, but whenever they showed up in his dreams they always manifested as a singular person. They didn’t look like anyone in particular, but he knew it was them as a collective. One face to put all his crimes to. 

“I see.” He couldn’t read his expression or tone, but Jesse could tell Hanzo was disappointed with the response. 

“What about you?” He pulled on his jeans, fidgeting with his belt buckle to give his hands something to do.

Hanzo frowned. McCree got the impression he had put thought into this more than once. “I..I don’t think I do. At least not of all it. I remember their eyes but never their entire face, not even their voices. But the way I have killed some people, it’s more intimate than a shooting, it’s closer.” He swallowed audibly, his gaze dark. “When you kill someone so closely with a blade, you remember little details. The way their mouths part, how their eyes flutter before they shut,  _ if _ they shut. The breathless gasps of their final words.” His looked down to his hands. “I always remember the blood. That’s something that always stays, how they bled, how warm it is, how it stains everything. How it never feels like it washes off, no matter how many times I bathe, no matter how hard I scrub,  _ it sticks _ .” He grew quiet before raising his eyes, for the first time meeting McCree’s gaze this morning. “I don’t remember their names, their lives. Only how died, only how I took it from them. I don’t even know why I’m killing them sometimes other than because ‘father said so’.” Hanzo took a shaky breath, his expression pleading for something unknown. “Does that make me a monster?”

Jesse was dumbfounded. He had taken his fair share of lives in his time with Deadlock, hell even with Blackwatch, but it was never something he reflected much on. He couldn’t afford to, with how quickly and deadly his life’s pace was set at he had to find some peace with the fact that the man with the faster draw was the man who lived. Jesse mostly ignored the parts that bothered him, he figured the past was the past and he could reflect and seek penance when he was older. For now it was a matter of survival, not one of moral consequence. 

He blinked a few times before replying, sorting out his words carefully.“I don’t reckon it does. Monster’s don’t show remorse, or at least the few I’ve stumbled into.”

“It’s not…,” Hanzo stopped himself with a quiet sigh. “Thank you, Jesse. I appreciate your patience.”

He gave a short nod as he adjusted his holster, knowing there was more to be said but he doubted they would. The timing was off, and they had a lot to accomplish today, not mull over the conscience of what it meant to be a killer. Hanzo had wandered over to the mirror, brushing his hair deep in introspection. Jesse could only pray that he for once would listen to him, and maybe take away one grievance he had against himself. At the very least, he gave him a hell of a lot to think about.

Jesse geared up quickly, making sure to check Peacekeeper three times, in and out. Six bullets in six chambers, nothing jammed, nothing out of place. He’d done this hundreds of times, but there was something familiar about the process that always calmed his nerves. He knew if he fucked this up the both of them could easily end up dead with Genji throughly screwed. He could do this, he  _ had _ to do this. Failure wasn’t an option he was giving himself anymore. 

Hanzo waited quietly at the door, holding his bow case with one hand. 

“Ready?” McCree asked, watching him tie the red bandana over his face. He had been to Cactus plenty of times as a younger teen, but a pool of anxiety nevertheless swirled in his stomach. 

“As ready as I can be,” he huffed, his face serious. “There is no place to go, but forward. Genji was never one for waiting.” McCree couldn’t tell if he sounded more annoyed or helpless. Either way he didn’t like it.

“Hey, before you know it he’ll back begging for McDonalds and asking embarrassing questions,” he joked trying to lighten the mood. He opened the door and gestured. “No need to worry.”

Hanzo gave a short scoff that was either in bemusement or irritation. “I’m sure.”

 

Cactus was more or less what he remembered from his last visit. Most of the people were different, but there was still a familiar face or two though they made no indication that they recognized him. Deadlock was well enough in the town that anyone important was paid off and the rest were intimidated into submission. It was horrible in retrospect, but it worked for the gang and was what kept McCree fed and alive at the time. It was crazy to think how different his life was just a few years ago, that he was some skinny brat who was only tolerated because of his uncannily accurate aim. He’d at least like to think that Reyes saw him more than that, though he wasn’t sure how well he’d be received when he went back,  _ if _ he went back. If Deadlock was actually here he had to come with terms that it was a real threat, that if they caught wind of who he was they wouldn’t stop until he was six feet under. McCree internally groaned, he couldn’t fit all the times death had haunted him on his fingers, that around every corner was a new exciting way the world wanted to end him with. 

His efforts were looking fruitless, people didn’t want to talk and if they did they didn’t say anything of substance. Everyone just rambled about the weather and the unexpected heatwave in winter, which honestly wasn’t too uncommon in Texas. What was a bit surprising was how windy the day was, the dirt kicked up and swirled around in the air coating everyone head to toe in filth. McCree begrudgingly smiled through the same generic three conversations over and over until it nearly drove him mad. He adjusted his hat harshly, visibly frustrated. He heard Hanzo chuckle which earned him a quick glare. 

“Now what do you find so funny?” It was early morning but several stores were already buzzing with business. Mostly older people were wandering the streets, eager to get their morning errands done before the heat and wind got worse. 

“Nothing, you’re doing great.” Hanzo looked at him amusingly, as if Jesse’s struggles raised his own spirits. “Though I’m not sure why you think the mailman, an old lady, or a grocer know anything of a lucrative gang in town.”

McCree exhaled, deflating with a laugh. Maybe it was the dirty air or shitty water here but he was definitely too tired to be pigheaded. “Well when ya put it that way I guess I sound stupid.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “You gotta see I’m just asking people who are often overlooked and happen to hear things that nobody else does.” Jesse tapped his temple. “ Don’t wanna be too direct. Unwanted attention and all.”

Hanzo, who had a red bandana tied around his face and carrying around what looked like a guitar case around, just stared at him quietly which made his point. It didn’t help that he had ditched the hoodie and his dragon tattoo was in clear view. If anything, they looked they were the gangsters rather than the heroic duo to stop them. 

Jesse rolled his shoulders with a pop. “Well, ya know not any more attention. I mean they didn’t see your face last night, right? The...ya know.” He skirted around bringing up the gold man and the shooting again. There was a notable stiffness that shot up Hanzo, his jaw twitching. It was a fresh occurrence, and Jesse wasn’t sure how well he digested this sort of thing. He knew he had a past of abuse, of killing, but that didn’t mean he was nearly as cool with it all as he tried to appear. He worried about him.

“No, but I do think he knows who I am.” Hanzo leaned against the supermarket’s wall as they stopped at the corner. “Or at least knows why I am here. Either way it’s trouble.”

“Lucky for you, trouble’s my middle name,” McCree winked which earned him a frustrated eye roll. 

“ _ Well _ , Mr. Trouble when you’re done with asking the elders of this town about secretive illegal activities, I’d like to go to the sheriff’s office.” Hanzo ran a hand to brush stray strands of inky hair from his face, gazing towards the horizon. “To, you know, actually get some answers. Where is he anyways?”

McCree kicked a rock, stuffing his hands in his pockets. “It’s a bit out of town, since it’s where the jail is too. People won’t stand to have  _ criminals _ so close to them, ya know.”

“Oh yes, this town is  _ so _ unnerved by crime.” Sarcasm was heavy in his voice, and Jesse swore that he could hear a grin. “But I guess we should take your truck then? I’d rather not walk.”

“Yeah, yeah I reckon you’re right.” He pouted, flicking his hat up. He was disappointed that they hadn’t learned anything, not even a footnote or a clue. He’d prefer them to keep a low profile for a few days but he understood Hanzo wasn’t patient in this situation. It was his brother after all.

“I know I am.” Hanzo stood up straight, attempting to wipe dust off his hands. It was reassuring to hear his old confidence. “It just took you a while to see it is all.”

Jesse shook his head with a soft grin. “Guess I’m glad you’re patient.” 

He didn’t answer him, but started towards the gas station. McCree wondered what was going through his head, that if Hanzo was as scatterbrained as himself right now. He was hit with a whirlwind of emotions, of fear and anxiety, but it was mingled with hope. He was constantly trying to keep his head on straight, but he felt as if it was all in vain. They were doing good, they were talking again, and closer to finding Genji than ever. Yet that dark place in his mind told him it was temporary, that Jesse was a bad man for hoping, that he had no right to hope for anything more than he had. That he was selfish, that every horrible word that had been thrown at him in his life was right. That he was worthless. He sighed, musing it didn’t really matter anymore either way. Leaving Reyes the way he did was damn insane, and chasing down his old gang wasn’t helping his case. Maybe he was cursed to be drawn in exclusively by danger, that he was a ticking time bomb with a short fuse.

Hanzo had stopped in front of him shortly as they arrived, eyes narrowed. “Fuck.”

“What’s that about?” It took only a moment for McCree to see what upset him, his own heart dropping at the sight. “Motherfuckers.” A large diagonal slash mark ran on the front side of the tire, the rubber laying limply off the metal like a wilting flower. He quickly rushed to check all four tires of his truck, each one cut and deflated in the same fashion. 

“Of all the shit luck,” Jesse pulled himself up to the bed of the truck, a frown encompassing his face. “Really? The fucking spare too?” They didn’t want them leaving, whoever ‘they’ were. He had a sick feeling in his stomach as Hanzo pulled on his sleeve.

“Jesse,” Hanzo’s tone was urgent. “I don’t think we’re alone.”

“Well fuck, yeah this is a message. They either don’t like newcomers or they know who we really are--”

“Jesse!” 

McCree hit the ground with Hanzo on top of him, his ears ringing from a bullet just shying from the right side of his face. The wind was knocked from his lungs, dirt billowing into the air. He instinctively rose an arm over Hanzo, though he was continuing to yell at him in a language he didn’t understand. He just nodded, reaching for Peacekeeper as Hanzo opened his case, his hands a blur. 

Jesse McCree was many things, popular opinion would claim he was an impulsive, reckless, asshole who always jumped before he looked. There was a bit of truth to it, that he relied on instinct, gut reactions. He would argue this gave him an edge, that doing what felt natural is what got him this far. Hanzo opened the side door into the truck, digging around. Jesse took the hint to give him cover for whatever he was looking for, his eyes stinging from sand as he leaned his back against the vehicle.

He peered over the edge, and could make out three shooters dressed in black. He didn’t have time to pick out any details before they started shooting again, but he figured they were Deadlock. 

“Hanzo, hate to ask ya what ya doin, but we  _ really _ need to get the fuck outta here.” Sparks of metal danced before his eyes, a bullet ricocheting against the steel of the truck. McCree managed to get a shot off, hitting the man’s leg which at least brought it back to a fair fight, two against two. Six chambers with five bullets, he always kept count, always knew what he was packing. He prayed to God that there weren’t more on their way immediately.

“One moment!” Hanzo yelled, as the gunfire kicked up dust around them. Jesse cringed at the thought of what his truck looked like, fully aware that this wasn’t going to be their getaway vehicle. The noise stopped, most likely to reload, which gave him time to steal a glance. They were two left, one talking into some device which didn’t grant him any confidence of them keeping at two versus two.

“ _ Now _ Hanzo!” He barked crouched behind a wheel, a bullet nearly hitting his foot. “Fuck, how much ammo can a guy be packing?”

“Here,” Hanzo shut the door and stooped down beside him, adjusting his belt to attach Genji’s sword. “ _ Now  _ we can go.”

“Glad ya took ya sweet time,” there was a pause in the shoot out, the faint noise of radio static filled the air as the dust settled. “We need to haul ass, and get a different ride to the sheriff’s.” 

“And how do you recommend we get there?” Hanzo shifted to the side of the truck, shooting an arrow before darting back to McCree.

“Just follow my lead,” He gave a wink, grabbing Hanzo’s arm and decking it back towards town. “I got a plan.”

 

In theory, it was a bad plan. Counting on horses that he saw over two years to still be there in some ranch was a longshot at best, the cause of their untimely deaths at worst. He remembered the old ranch, long abandoned as the cattle money maker it once was in it’s prime, but it still housed a few horses and goats. Only a spinster remained there when Jesse was younger, he remembered her as one of the few people to show him genuine kindness in his Deadlock days. She never ran him off her property, and she’d even let him watch the horses for hours at a time whenever he snuck away. He had not actually gotten to touch the horses, let alone ride them, but he had always admired their strength, their beauty, their freedom. There was something magical about watching a horse gallop across a field on it’s own will, the grace to its movements, the wildness. McCree had wished he was born a horse rather than a man as a kid, though lately it didn’t seem like a terrible idea. Life was a hell of a lot simpler for them, just eat grass and run. Nevertheless, in Jesse’s experiences bad plans in theory didn’t always turn out to be bad plans in practice. Sure he didn’t know  _ exactly _ how to ride a horse, but time and time again proved he was an exceptionally fast learner especially when the stakes were high.

“I will need more than that,” Hanzo squinted as he shook his arm free, raising his bow and shooting a man who pulled out of a nearby truck by the farmer’s market. Three more men dressed in black came out, shouting to each other as civilians scrambled to find cover.

“Shit, shit, shit!” McCree grabbed him again around the waist, pulling him back into the closest alleyway, anywhere off the streets. Hanzo panicked under his touch, his tattoo suddenly glowing a brilliant blue.

“No! Not here!” He hissed to himself leaving Jesse more than confused. The blue light poured from his eyes, clouding his irises for a moment before he violently shook his head. “You do not get to make that choice for me.”

Jesse let him go briefly, instead taking him by the right, not glowing, hand. He would’ve offered an explanation, but Hanzo didn’t seem responsive to anything despite the sound of oncoming footsteps. “Fuck me,” McCree muttered to himself, dragging Hanzo down the alleyway relying on his memory to head towards the ranch. After the sound of shouts and gunfire softened McCree stopped, leaning against a wall to catch his breath.

Hanzo let go of his hand slowly, taking off the bandana taking a deep breath, his eyes back to a hard brown. He bit down on his lower lip, glaring at his arm as the glow faded, cursing in his native tongue. His eyes were watery and red, eating away at Jesse’s conscience. He had no idea what had just happened, but he wanted nothing more in that moment than to kiss him, to try to ease his pain in someway. Hanzo noticed his burning gaze, McCree’s heart thumping at the hint of pink dusting his cheeks.

“I...apologize, I’ll explain when we’re not in the middle of being chased by armed company.” Hanzo handed him his bandana, his fingers brushing McCree’s a second longer than expected. He looked up at him, something soft behind his severe gaze.

Maybe it was the adrenaline, or the possibility of death but Jesse wanted to tell him that he loved him. That he wasn’t nearly as bad as he thought he was, that he felt too deeply but that Jesse loved him all the more for it. That, despite being covered in dried blood and dirt, that he was by far the most beautiful vision he had ever seen. His chest tightened as the words wouldn’t form. 

He managed a goofy half-grin with a tip of his hat. “Don’t sweat it.” It didn’t feel or sound like much, but the small smile that grew on Hanzo’s face filled him with an energy he didn’t think he had left. A warmth swimmed in his gut, strong enough to silence his anxieties for the time being.  

“How close are we?” Hanzo wrapped his quiver around his back, taking stock of his arrows. “To wherever we’re going, to this ‘plan’ of yours.”

“Almost there,” McCree pulled out a cigarette, letting the smoke calm his nerves. He recognized the dry paint on the walls, the dingey signs and even a few of the alleycats. They were on the right path, they had to be. “It’ll be bit of a shitshow when he gotta get out into the clear but that’s assuming they know where we’re headed.” He exhaled slowly, the first drag always the best. “They’ll be knowin we’re bound for the sheriff’s but I’m hoping they won’t know we’re gonna steal some horses to get there.”

“Horses? Really?” Hanzo raised an eyebrow at him. “You realize we aren’t in a Western movie right?”

It was probably best that he didn’t mention the part how he didn’t know if the horses were still there or that he had no clue on how to ride one. He just nodded, scratching the back of his head with a pseudo confident smile. “Hey, it’s Texas. If this ain’t livin in a Western I don’t know what is.” Hanzo didn’t appear impressed. “Well then, we best get going before they find us.” He nervously tapped Peacekeeper. “Don’t reckon we’ll outrun them on horses if they got wheels.”

“Actually you go on,” Hanzo placed his arm through his bow, resting it on his shoulder. “We have better odds if I have a higher point of view, above all the dirt. Don’t worry I’ll keep track of you, watch your back. At the best, I can lighten their numbers. At the worst, I can at least get an idea of what we’re up against.” His brow furrowed when Jesse rose his hand. “I am not asking for permission McCree, so don’t think you can stop me.”

Jesse reached out, taking his arm before he could bolt. “Just hold your horses for a second will ya? I’m not gonna try to stop you, I just…” He met Hanzo’s eyes, dark and angry but muddled with something else. Fear? Maybe, but McCree never pegged him the type to show fear openly, it wasn’t in his nature. It was something wild, untamed, something he desperately wanted to know more of trapped behind those brown eyes. His grip loosened, letting him slip out of his grasp. “Just stay safe, okay?”

Hanzo paused, his mouth slightly agape as if he was to say something, to respond. He ended up giving a stiff nod, his lips hinting at a smile before turning away. “You do the same, cowman. Try to stay out of trouble.” He caught McCree off guard by scaling the adjacent wall, his movements fluid and swift. It really shouldn’t be surprising, seeing how he was a trained assassin and all but it didn’t stop Jesse from taking a moment to appreciate how his back muscles moved as he disappeared onto the rooftops. 

He unholstered Peacekeeper, giving her a few flips for good measure. He was focused on getting to the sheriff’s office, smudging out the details buried in his mind. He was never one to get lost in them, he supposed he was simple in that regard. McCree didn’t like to overthink things, didn’t like to overcomplicate. There was starting point and an ending point. Everything else was open for improvise. He knew that more than often that line of thinking was what got him into trouble, but on the flip side it had saved his ass more than a handful of times. He was too far in at this point to try anything else, he’d have to settle for his intuition. 

He reached the end of the buildings, a clearing of dead grass all that separated him from his endpoint. The stables were in view, though he couldn’t make out if the horses were present. It was too late to turn back, he knew that the only way to survive in a life of crime and blood was to always take the next step, to own your shit. He didn’t see anyone in the immediate vicinity, only dry earth and a beating sun. Jesse took a deep breath, tossing his cigarette to the ground and digging his heel on the bud. The wind had began to pick up, dust rolling on the ground with low brown clouds billowing across. It was picturesque, what every good western started with before the final showdown. All it was missing was a tumbleweed, maybe a damsel in distress. Jesse couldn’t help but grin before he began to sprint across, the dirt blasting against his body fully. It was terrible, dirty, gritty, and dry, with the taste of earth stuck in the roof of his mouth and stinging his eyes. But it was fully and intoxicatingly  _ free _ , like a wild mustang out in the plains. He could feel the muscles in his legs extend and scream at him to stop, but he wouldn’t let them. This is what it meant to feel alive, to feel the world press against his skin and for him to press back. Jesse was actually enjoying himself before he heard a shout, the screech of tires accompanied with Hanzo’s disembodied voice. 

The dust cloud whirled around him giving him only a second to jump out of the way before a car with a busted windshield surged forward. The drum of the earth rattled, he could feel it against his chest before he sprung back up. He squinted his eyes seeing past the smoke as a few men poured out of the overturned vehicle dressed in the similar dark outfits from earlier. 

“Fuck,” McCree was glad Hanzo had given him his bandana back, the burning in his lungs lessening as he yanked it over his face. He rose his revolver, still not sure where the archer was, despite his shouts in the wind.

“Four at your nine!” His voice was clear and deep. He wasn’t sure if he was imagining it, or if Hanzo was nearby but he decided to trust it. If this was how he was to die, then at least it would doing it for something he believed in, for someone he loved. He didn’t imagine a lot of men got to go out that way.    

He heard a shot behind him, clipping his shoulder which sent him back with a yelp. He turned back and shot, six chambers now with four bullets, only clipping the man’s leg. McCree cursed then went back to running, running for his life, for the horses, for the second chance he wasn’t sure he deserved. The gunman appeared again through the dust limping, but Jesse was able to draw first, this time hitting his mark. Three bullets in six chambers, with what sounded like three men left. The math worked if didn’t miss again, or if he didn’t just brush his target. There was a chance, and Jesse always just needed a foot in the door to get things going. The dirt was dry and light like sand, blanketing the area making it almost impossible to see five feet in front of him. He could hear the shouting mixed with the roaring wind, stepping boldly towards the overturned car.

“Jesse!” He heard Hanzo’s voice again, louder, closer than last time. He saw a figure rush towards him, bow in hand and blood on his face, a stark contrast to his fair skin. “Jesse we need to go  _ now _ , there’s at least two more vans coming in from the west.” 

“Shit,” Jesse lunged forward, climbing on top of the crashed vehicle. The other gunman had seemingly vanished, only the man in the driver’s seat left. He was worse for wear, the windshield had been pierced and broken, shards of glass sprinkled the ground along with a fair amount of red. The driver was bleeding from his mouth, a well placed arrow wedged into his chest, just below the sternum. Jesse would’ve commented on the good shot, but there was still more people coming and from above the dust he could see the three mystery men scrambling to position. The wind began to die down, the wall of sand would soon fall and they’d have a clear shot at them before they got to the stables in time. He could hardly visualize where they were exactly, their bodies moved like images do in dreams, just shadows in a haze, but he knew what he had to do.

“ _ Jesse, _ ” Hanzo hissed to him, his gaze towards the ranch. “Get your shit together, there’s too much obstruction, we need to take this chance before the dust settles.”

“Go on,” McCree stepped up, taking a muffled breath through his bandana, the sun beating down on his face and back like a roaring fire. He could feel the sweat on his skin, his hair sticking to his forehead under his hat lined with grime. Three bullets, six chambers, three shots. No room for error, no room for excuses, no room for mistakes.“I’ll take care of this.”

Hanzo looked infuriated, the lines on his face stern and unwavering. “None of this hero bullshit, we need to  _ go.” _

“Wasn’t asking for permission darlin,” Jesse raised Peacekeeper up, wiping his hair from his eyes. “And none of this is bullshit.”

He hadn’t done this often. Maybe once or twice that he could recall, always on accident, always on instinct. It was painful. McCree didn’t quite understand how it worked, but when the sun was at it’s highest peak, when he needed it to be, he could feel his right eye burn, feel it blister and fester and nearly burst into flames right in his head. But he couldn’t miss, he wouldn’t miss, whatever it was steadied his hand, managed to make impossible shots possible. He didn’t enjoy doing it, hell he hadn’t even told Reyes that he could, he was a natural deadeye without whatever  _ this  _ was. It had been an unnecessary trick shot. Yet this was different, he needed this to work, he needed to make these shots.

Six chambers, three bullets, three targets. It started with a flicker, a spark. The pain wasn’t immediate, there was a build, a horrible crescendo of fire that laced the world in red. He rose Peacekeeper in a trance, the the dirt and grime the least of his worries, the agony in his eye a focal point of concentration. All he could see was the fire, the targets, the pain. He could visualize hitting his marks, what would happen as the bullets left the barrel. What would happen if he missed. Six chambers, three bullets, three targets. 

It was quick, like a strike of lightning, he pulled the trigger feeling the thunder of recoil in his wrist trail up to his arm. He shot three times into the dust cloud, six chambers, zero bullets. The wind died down in dirty wisps revealing that he indeed hit his mark, three dead men each a fatal hole in their heads. He grinned wearily, holstering Peacekeeper on his side. His trick shot still worked.

“Jesse..” Hanzo muttered before McCree nearly fell of the car, his mind melted from the burning of his eye. “Jesse!” He darted up next to him, grabbing him before he completely lost his balance. “What..was..are you okay? Your eye..” He reached up to his face, stroking his cheek gently. 

He knew he must’ve looked like shit, that after each time this happened his eye turned red with a popped blood vessel, not the mention the scorch marks. The pain didn’t immediately leave, it faded but it ached like a sore muscle after a long day of work under the sun. Despite it all, he couldn’t resist smiling up at Hanzo, enjoying the easy touches against his skin. “Let’s just say you’re not the only one around here with a secret. How about we get the hell outta here before the rest of these bastards show up?”

“You good enough to ride a horse?” Hanzo let him lean against him, arm draped over his shoulder as they walked to the stables, the insistent neighing a welcoming sign.  

McCree couldn’t help but the laugh, a warmth spreading through his gut that had no right to be there. “As long as you’re leading, baby.”   

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woo! I don't know why but I super struggled with this chapter and I'm honestly just so happy for finally updating. But now it's the summer months so hopefully I'll be able to finish this fic before the school year comes back...  
> Though the boys definitely have more problems and more action in the next chapter! Thanks again for all the support, y'all the reason I write at all!
> 
> If you need to contact me for any reason you can find me on tumblr @draconicfly and twitter @draconic_fly


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Again for this chapter there's a lot of violence for a head's up! Thanks for all the support! You guys are the reason I keep writing! I edit everything myself so all mistakes are my own~

It had been but a dream ago that Hanzo was this close to horses. The large stables that complemented their estate, the finest and fastest animals that their father’s money could buy, nothing but the best for the Shimada Clan. He remembered long hours spent on horseback, how his legs would ache along with his arms for days on end. ‘ _ Wrong, back straight and watch your arms _ .’ His father’s voice echoed in his mind, stern and unwavering. _ ‘Better. Faster.’  _ An unspoken authority from his gaze, his father could make Hanzo feel so insignificant, so weak, by a mere look, but his words would always cut deeper. Hanzo had grown to hate them, it was silly and unfair to the horses, but he had created a deep association with them with failure and disappointment. 

Yet there were lingerings of fondness left with them. Late nights sneaking out with Genji, he’d always somehow manage to convince him to go out with him. No practice with archery, no long hard rides that ended with ridicule and guilt. It was fun. Plain, unadulterated joy of riding as fast as he could under the moonlight, the cold night wind cutting his skin leaving behind goosebumps. There was always the panic, an alarm in the back of his head that warned him of indulging himself in such things, not to mention what a poor example he was being to Genji. Yet growing up they had not had much time to be children together, to run around and play as brother’s do. He was always ushered away for studying, for training, to be molded and prepared so that one day he could carry on the Shimada legacy. That’s all he was at the end of the day to their father, a legacy, just another link in the chain of their family tree. He knew he should hate him, not the horses, yet feelings had an odd way of manifesting themselves with Hanzo. They were beautiful creatures, born to run freely but they were more often than not caged in the stables, only allowed to run when called upon. Perhaps he had more in common with the beasts than he’d like to admit.

Hanzo pushed the memories of his father from his mind, trying to focus on the good times with his brother as they approached the stables. It was a sharp contrast to the one’s from Hanamura, this was small and dirty, housing only one animal.

“Well I’ll be damned,” Jesse took off his hat in reverence starry eyed. “She’s still here.”

The mare was older, that was sure, but her muscles were sleek under a tan coat. Her mane was nearly white, long and matted, whoever owned her didn’t brush her as much as they should. Hanzo was irritated that such a lovely animal was not treated and cared for with more respect, her eyes holding a wisdom and a calmness was genuinely surprising.

“She’s beautiful,”he took a moment to wipe the grime off his forehead, grimacing at how he mostly just smeared it. She wasn’t like any of the horses Hanzo had, kept in the best conditions, trimmed and clean at all times. There was a wildness to her, a certain unkept visage that added an authenticity to her. He bit his lip as he watched Jesse come up to her, wondering if he indeed had a type.

“Wow, I’ve never been this close I uh..” He reached out his hand, crouching down slightly. “Remember me girl? I know it’s been a while, but hey. It’s Jesse.” Hanzo squinted as she leaned down to smell his hand, most likely expecting food. They were fortunate that she was this well mannered, and seemed to be extremely people friendly. 

“Wait, what do you mean you’ve never been this close?” Hanzo scrunched up his face, watching the doorway. “Don’t you know this horse?”

“Well  _ yeah _ I know her...I watched her...from a distance.” Hanzo audibly groaned as Jesse tried to explain himself. “I was a  _ criminal _ Hanzo, her owner wasn’t just gonna let me ride her.”

Hanzo released a long sigh before approaching the horse. She sniffed his hand when presented, and didn’t seem overly concerned with the two strangers in her home. “Jesse. We are literally here to steal her and you don’t even know her name.” 

“Borrow! We’re going to borrow you.” He spoke to the horse apologetically, stroking her nose. “We’ll take you right back home after a little ride. Now where is your saddle.. you need a saddle to ride, right? Right.” He mumbled to himself as he wandered around the stable, though Hanzo could only see old wood and hay. He leaned a little outside, the bodies of the men before still in the bright brown dirt. He wondered how long they had before more showed up. “And sure, I don’t know her name but I doubt she does either. By the looks of it, she’s left here out on her own quite a bit.”

Hanzo quirked his lip, feeling pressed for time. “It’s fine, we can bareback.” For many of his riding lessons they weren’t allowed a saddle.  _ ‘Weakness’ _ his father would comment, ‘ _ You never know what you’ll have available.’ _ Though in retrospect, it only really made Hanzo and the horse both sore. 

“Woah, not even gonna buy me dinner first?” McCree joked somewhere in the back room, out of sight. 

Hanzo grimaced, mostly upset at himself for actually blushing. “No..I didn’t mean! Ugh.” He shook his head leaning against the doorframe. “Just hurry up then. We won’t last on horseback for that long if they find us out on the road.”

“You got it, hon-,” McCree hesitated before changing his wording. “Han, you got it Han.”

He could feel the tightness build in his throat, his jaw locked shut. Hanzo wasn’t an idiot, he knew what he was going to say. The worst part is that it hurt more that he didn’t say it, that Hanzo was  _ mad _ that he didn’t say it. It was stupid, he had been the one to push him away yet he still craved attention, the pet names, the winks, all of it. He wanted it all. 

He shoved those thoughts aside as Jesse appeared saddle in hand. The man he loved looked like shit to be honest. His clothing was dirty, bits and pieces torn, though none of it compared to how bad in shape his eye was. His eye still looked burnt, the skin around it a lingering red with inflammation. Hanzo had seen many unsettling or magical things in his life, for one he had literally two spirit dragons bound to him. Yet he had no clue what McCree did, what the red light had been that sprang from behind brown locks was. It had happened so fast, too quick for him to properly asses the situation before McCree had worked himself up onto the overturned car and shot three men dead in the midst of a dust storm. It was extraordinary. Sure he was a good shot, but that was simply impossible. Hanzo was struck with awe again thinking about it, filled with admiration and worry all at once. He wondered if it had hurt. He knew looking at McCree’s expression that he had to still be in pain, but he hoped with all his heart that he wasn’t.

“Okay, so dumb question.” Jesse went on, not noticing Hanzo staring at him. He fiddled with the saddle nervously, the old mare apathetic to his presence. “You wouldn’t just happen to know how these go on, do ya?”

“Yes, of course I do.” He said matter-of-factly. Hanzo stood next to him, taking the saddle from his hands. “I’m actually considered an expert rider. Perhaps not in the Western way of thinking, but I definitely can hold my own.”

“Oh,” there was an odd wave of relief over Jesse’s face. “Well, I’ll leave ya to it. I..I would like to see how they do it where you’re from.”

“Okay…” Hanzo squinted his eyes at him, trying to read his smile, unsure why his voice wavered so slightly. Then it clicked. The nervous quirks, the uneasy looks and gestures. Jesse McCree, who dressed like a cowboy with the boots and the hat, had no idea how to handle a horse. He didn’t know whether to laugh or cry at the irony of it.

“Oh.” Hanzo finished fastening the straps of the saddle. “That’s funny.”

“What is?” McCree was sweating, a streak of grime slightly washed down the side of his face. He wiped at it with his sleeve, scowling.

“You don’t even know how to mount a horse do you?” Hanzo couldn’t help but smirk, an easiness settling on him that had no reason to be there. “You wear  _ spurs _ and now I know it’s all for aesthetics sake. That’s funny.”

His cheeks burned red, something Hanzo couldn’t help but find cute. He opened his mouth in retort, but no words came out which only caused Hanzo to chuckle. 

“Here, it’s easy.” He got onto the horse, petting her neck with a pat. “Let’s go.” He offered his hand to Jesse, his gaze softening at his hesitant nod. 

“Yeah...I mean...yeah. Let’s hit the road.” He messed with his hat as he sat behind Hanzo, unsure where to put his hands. “I-uh- just never rode with someone else is all.”

“Hmph. I’m sure.” He cleared his throat as he egged the horse out of the stables, his hands loose in her mane. He wished he had found the reins, but they didn’t especially have a lot of spare time. “Just..hold on to my waist and don’t fall off. That would be bad.”

“That  _ would _ be bad,” he repeated slowly, his hands resting on Hanzo’s hips. It was awkward, there was no getting around that, but he also hated how he had missed his touch. He had large, calloused hands. Hands that worked, seen death, caused it even, yet on him it was always gentle, always soft. He shook his head, returning back to the task on hand refusing to be blinded by emotion.

“And stay out of my way. Like when I’m using my bow, don’t get in the way of my arms. It won’t end well for either of us.” He started the horse on a trot that she was happy to oblige to. He had no idea of her age or speed, but he hoped it would be enough if more men showed up. When they showed up.

“Now how exactly am I supposed to do that?” McCree’s hands slipped away from him, quickly reloading Peacekeeper before snaking one arm around him again. 

His arm was broad and warm against his stomach, his heart jumped to his throat when his grip tightened. “You’ll figure something out cowboy.” He squinted his eyes up at the sun, the heat uncomfortable. “Which direction is the sheriff’s office anyways?”

“You’re going the right way, just due west,” Jesse coughed as a wave of dust swept over them, annoying Hanzo at the very least. “A little out of town there’s a dirt road ya can follow. Hopefully we’ll miss the other vans you saw coming.” He shook his head, trying to hide his obvious discomfort. “I don’t think I can manage another trick shot today.”

“You may need to,” Hanzo bit his lip as his body stiffened. “Because we are not alone.” As on queue, two black vans rounded the corner, the brakes squeaking with a sharp turn. Hanzo was a good rider, but he couldn’t outrun vehicles especially with a horse that seemed like her fastest days were behind her. They were in trouble, badly.

“Oh fuck,” Jesse raised his gun gesturing towards the side. “We need to get off the road,  _ now.” _

Hanzo growled, the land was dry and uneven, if anything it would make riding harder but not driving. “That’s fruitless!” He hissed, his voice clear against the sweeping wind. They were already gaining on them, the roar of wheels on gravel loud in his ears. “I’m heading back into town!” He gave the mare a kick rotating ninety degrees back towards Cactus. At least with the cloak of buildings the vans couldn’t follow them as well, and maybe they’d have a better chance of losing them. 

“We just came from there!” McCree sounded exasperated. “They’ll just pin down the perimeter if we stay here, this is our chance!” 

Hanzo had already made the decision in his head that they’d cut through an alleyway before going out the south end. He’d admit they’d be fucked if they found them past that point, but this wasn’t a fully developed plan in the first place. He spurned the chaos of improv, but he was never one to give up. He could do this. He had to.

The dirt kicked up around them as a few stray bullets shot off towards them, but he was able to get the horse back into the alley without her bucking too hard. He could feel his own heart thump against his chest, he could only imagine what she was thinking. Hanzo felt bad for the beast, she had to be terrified, but she was their only hope of getting out of this alive. 

McCree silently stewed behind him, he could tell that he fully disagreed with his decision as they went back into a trot. The vans however went past the crack between buildings, too large to follow them and no doubt circling about to look for where they would go out. If he didn’t act quickly they’d be trapped, and if there was one thing Hanzo didn’t do well with was being caged. He felt the whispers and hisses under his skin, the dragons begging him to release them, to let them cleanse out the filth of the area. It was tempting, but he knew they would be no stopping them from destroying the whole town if they got out. The power of the dragons was something he couldn’t control, that he had failed to tame. They would devour all in their path undiscriminating, friend and foe alike. He could smell the blood they would leave, the bones they’d crush. It was terrible, beautiful, everything he was raised for yet feared. He opted to run instead, digging his heels lightly into the horse’s side. 

“The southside?” Jesse piped up as he noticed the route he was taking, a level of anxiety in his tone. 

“Yes,” Hanzo was curt, not willing to compromise with this. “You agreed that I’d be the one leading, so I am.” He had been trained to be decisive, to analyze all that was given to him and to do the best with it. Hanzo was typically self assured but he couldn’t help but feel his stomach do flips wondering if his choice would end up with both of them killed. With Jesse killed.

He scoffed, his arm sliding from his chest to his hip, the sensation sending pinpricks up Hanzo’s spine. “That I did.” McCree took a heavy breath as the opening came into view. His voice softened, the stage of acceptance when faced with death Hanzo mused. “Alrighty, from here we still gotta head west, but there’s no road. It’s a bit longer but there’s not a lot of obstruction so we can’t miss the place. It’ll be a straight shot to the finish line.” 

“Understood.” Hanzo knew what he was getting at.  _ They find us they kill us. _ He should’ve said.  _ They see us, we’re fucked. _

He worked her back into a gallop, darting out not bothering to check if any vans were nearby. It wasn’t like he had much of a choice at this point, it was either now or never and he refused to die here. He was a Shimada, and despite the recent downward spiraling of his life he retained the pride of a dragon. He would not submit so easily. 

“Hot one coming in!” Jesse called out, an accursed black van shooting up behind them. He supposed they were lucky it was just one, but that didn’t help with how it’s speed was gaining on them.

“Hold on, I’m gonna try to shoot out a tire or some shit!” McCree’s grip tightened harshly on his hip as he turned to aim. 

“Try the driver!” Hanzo managed to yell, wondering if Jesse believed everything he saw in his Western films. “It’s easier to aim for, just do something that  _ works!”  _

He should’ve known better than to challenge Jesse McCree when it came to sharpshooting, the gunslinger was almost as stubborn as Hanzo. He knew his eye must’ve burned, but he grew silent before aiming his gun. 

“Shit,” he hissed, the first shot lost into the gravel and dust as the van thundered on, ever closer. 

“Jesse!” Hanzo couldn’t disguise the desperation to his voice. They were getting too close, too fast, the quickening of the horse's pace on the earth matching his heartbeat. Sweat thickened with dirt trickled down his forehead, burning his watery eyes. 

“Give me a sec,” Hanzo kept his eyes forward, praying to whatever deity that would care to listen that he could do it. “Don’t get mad at me for this,” Jesse muttered as he took an arrow from his quiver. “I need ya bow.”

“What?!” Hanzo felt a wave of uneasiness wash over him. He was fine at the shooting range, but that compared to a stunt on horseback had leagues of difference. “What are you planning?!”

“Just trust me!” He yelled, the roar of an engine nearly drowning out his voice.

After the course of the last few days he had no rationale to trust him, no rhyme or reason to. He had broken his heart, broken his promise to never hurt him, to betray him. Yet Hanzo rose his arm, letting him slip the bow off. “I hope you know what you’re doing,” he growled knowing it was their last shot, literally and figuratively. 

“Don’t I always,” he murmured before he let go of Hanzo’s waist, releasing a single arrow as the horse vaulted over a low fence of the town’s border.

He heard the the hiss of an arrow, hitting the ground and expanding into several, missing it’s target but nevertheless ripping up the bottom of the vehicle. It choked and coughed, the sound of metal screeching was like music to him, Hanzo was never happier to hear destruction. He had taken a scatter arrow, the clever cowboy. 

“Yeehaw!” McCree howled behind him, clapping a hand on his shoulder with a thud. He squeezed, his thumb rubbing near his neck. “That sure show--, oh fuck.”

“What now?” Hanzo took his bow back as the horse slowed to a trot. He turned only to feel his own hopes crash back down. “Oh shit,” he kicked again with vigor as the black van’s back opened to reveal two men on motorcycles, speeding outward. 

“Who the fuck does that?” McCree sounded a tad bit impressed and dumbfounded. “Like I’m mad, but that is also kinda badass. In a ‘I thought this only happened in movies’ kinda way.”

“Shut up and shoot them!” Hanzo barked, coaxing the horse back into a gallop again though it was obvious she was getting tired. He prayed that they were nearing the sheriff’s station. 

“Got it,” he said with a bit more pep than he had been showing, raising Peacekeeper confidently. “Now that I can see the bastards it’ll be like shooting fish in a barrel.” 

“Enough gloating and more  _ shooting,” _ Hanzo’s patience grew thin, the two motorcyclists moving to both sides of them. He pulled her mane to the left, heading into more rocky terrain to try to slow down their pursuers. “Take the one to the left,” he ordered, taking a deep breath to calm himself despite the dragon’s protest. 

“What about the other one?” McCree steadied himself, his arm clutched to Hanzo’s chest as they increased in pace. 

“Leave it for me,” he narrowed his eyes as the motorcyclist sped by, tearing down any fauna in their path. He hadn’t rode while shooting his bow in a while, but he had done it so many times now it felt natural. In a way, it was muscle memory, the way his hips turned and his back tightened as he pulled back the string. He could hear his father yelling at him in the distance.  _ Back straighter. Hold on with your legs. You let go too fast, you can do better, you will do better. _ His words of encouragement had always turned into shaming, always belittling him and adding on the great expectation of his life. It had always lit a fire in his stomach, driving him to continue until his body broke down.  _ You are a Shimada.  _ Dark, judging eyes, an unsatisfied frown at his weakness.  _ Perform as such.  _

The cyclist matched their speed, driving by before raising a gloved hand with a small gun. He didn’t manage to get a shot off before Hanzo drove an arrow through his chest, his body crumpling before the motorcycle darted in front of them causing the horse to throw back. 

“Fuck!” McCree grabbed onto him which didn’t help his fall, both of them toppling over. She had successfully thrown them off, spooked by the now crashed motorcycle on a bed of cactus along with a dead man. 

The wind was knocked out of his lungs as he hit the ground, Jesse curling around him taking most of the impact. Hanzo wasn’t able to get a thought out before she ran off, something he had half expected from the beginning, but nevertheless was devastated by. If he thought their chances on horseback were bad, it was only laughable on foot. 

“Jesse,” he was able to gasp, his throat burning in the cloud of dust that danced around them as he heard the second motorcycle approach. 

He was wordless, Hanzo couldn’t see but he felt McCree leave his side and stagger up. He wanted to scream. He wanted to yell for him to come down and watch out for the gun. To not get ran over, to not get shot. To not die. Hanzo was a man who had felt a wide range of emotions in his life. Of anxieties, sorrow, and anger. Yet he had never once been frozen in fear but now when he ordered his legs to stand they wouldn’t, when he ordered his voice to shout out nothing came. He was a man who feared nothing, but the idea of Jesse dying out here hit him with a wave of cold nausea that he couldn’t shake. Only when he heard the exchange of gunfire did his senses kick back in, scrambling to get himself upright again. 

What were actually a few seconds felt like an eternity, as Hanzo waited for the dust to clear. He coughed, his veins running cold fearing the worst before drawing another arrow. It wouldn’t be nearly fast enough to stop a bullet, but if he was able to sink it into the chest of the man who killed McCree he wouldn’t care. It would be enough.  

“Woah there,” it felt as if a million burdens were lifted from his shoulders, the sound of his voice as sweet as a nightingale's song. He held Peacekeeper to his side, cracking a half grin at whatever face Hanzo was making. “Ya really gonna shoot me after all that?” Dirt and blood painted his face, scraped up and battered, but alive.  _ Alive. _

“Jesse,” he gave up into a moment of emotion, wrapping his arms around his sides and squeezing for all he was worth. 

“Hey, now that hurt’s a bit,” McCree winced though he rested his hand on Hanzo’s head. He buried his face into his chest, relieved to smell the smoke and sweat that he had grown fond of. 

Like a switch in his head went off, he quickly stepped back, shaking his head in apology. 

“I’m..I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have. It’s just... you’re not dead.” Hanzo swallowed deeply, feeling betrayed by the flush he could feel creeping over his face.

“I’m not dead.” McCree confirmed wiping a grimy hand on the side of his jeans. “And neither are you.” Hanzo looked up at him, only to see a soft smile. “I’m glad we didn’t break anything or get trampled by her...poor girl.” He shook his head, his gaze sweeping around their surroundings. “But hey at least we are a bit outta town, doubt they’ll know we’re here.”

The gravity of the situation fell back onto Hanzo along with a sharp ache centered in his hip. The fall had not been kind to his back either, his muscles locked somewhat painfully. “And where is ‘here’ exactly?”

“Exactly? Eh, I’m not sure.” McCree interjected at Hanzo’s frown. “But! But I think I can get to the sheriff’s from here. I have a  _ general _ hunch where we’re located.” He went over to a crushed cactus, his damn hat surprisingly sitting there unharmed. 

“But how will we get there? By foot?” Hanzo eyed the motorcycle from the man Jesse killed who had apparently parked to get an easy shot at them. So much for that. “I do not know how to operate one of those.” He wouldn’t admit it, but he did think sleek cars and motorcycles were cool. It was always more of Genji’s scene, the fast and redline aesthetics, but perhaps there was an air of freedom to it that was all but too alluring. 

The biggest smirk grew across Jesse’s face that he wasn’t sure if he was supposed to like. “Oh darlin,” he grinned toothily, ear to ear. “Leave this one to me.”

He wasn’t sure how he appreciated sitting on the back, but the leather seats were a nice change from the truck or even the horse saddle. McCree was too pleased with the arrangement, he whistled in appreciation as he revved up the engine. 

“Oh it’s been a helluva while since I got to ride something this nice,” he cooed basically drooling over the handlebars. “It actually might’ve been forever.”

Apprehension swelled in his chest, his grip tightening around Jesse’s torso wondering if it hurt. If it did, McCree paid no mind as he had them speeding off, the wind lashing against his face with bits and pieces of dirt and sand. His eyes burned and he cursed that the man’s helmets had all but shattered on impact of the crash and with Jesse being a showoff he had shot his man through the head. However, Jesse seemed more than content with pulling his bandana over his nose, whooping and hollering as they sped into the vastness of what he considered a desert.

They went rest of the way to the sheriff’s with no trouble, the ride only about five to ten minutes. There was no sign of the second van, but that didn’t mean they were out in the clear. Hanzo pondered how many more of Deadlock waited for them, if they were actually even Deadlock at this point. The man in gold had hinted at more, and the knife of curiosity prodded at him. He knew whatever path it took to find Genji they’d learn more, and that motivated as well as scared him. Who were they, what did they want? How did they get in touch with the Shimada Clan, how did they know where they were? He knew McCree figured it was a coincidence, but the way the events aligned bothered Hanzo. He didn’t believe in fate despite it all, and didn’t trust the situation to go this badly by chance alone. Still, in his mind he could place it in simple terms. These men had his brother, and for that he would kill them. Every last one. 

McCree parked out by the old building, a single entity amongst the dust and brown grass. It was small, which Hanzo supposed made sense with the population of the town. Sure, it was apparently filled to the brim with criminals, but it wasn’t like the jailhouse was actually ever going to be used by the way things were ran around here.

“What’s the plan?” Hanzo huffed, attempting to tame his hair back into a ponytail after the wind and sand had blown through it.

Jesse on the other hand seemed to look good despite the wind, dark locks falling across his face careless and free like his smile. “We go in as cool as we can, say we’re reporting a crime, no specifics. I’ll do the talking, keep him distracted, and you investigate to see what ya can find.” He frowned, scratching behind his ear. “Easy enough.”

“You don’t think I’ll find anything do you.” Hanzo knew he didn’t like this plan from the start, but what else did they have to go on?

“It’s not that I don’t believe you. It’s just I have a hard time seeing this guy being bought out. He was always such a strict bastard.”He swept a hand through his hair, squinting his eyes at the sun. It was starting to get late into the afternoon, approaching evening. “He might be the saddest sonuvabitch here, but that’s because he’s a good man. An honest one.”

Hanzo’s face darkened, trying to decide if it was naivety or the truth. “Not many of those left.”

Jesse chuckled, a little too hard. “I’ll drink to that.”

Hanzo placed his blade in the case along with the bow, knowing they both looked torn up to hell but they needed to make some attempt to be ‘normal’. He was glad McCree would do the conversing, Hanzo didn’t think he was in a state of mind for it. His heart was still racing despite the last encounter being over fifteen minutes ago, the adrenaline seemingly never ending. Hanzo wished he had drink to settle his nerves. 

Jesse was the first one to walk to the door, muttering to himself under his breath before knocking. “Keep it easy, casual.” He coughed as the door opened, a grizzled old man glaring back. 

“Now what in God’s green earth happened to you boys?” If Hanzo had thought McCree was a stereotype, the sheriff had him beat. His Southern accent was thick as butter along with his pressed uniform and bushy mustache. He had stern eyes that were as light as the sky, and the way they shifted between them did little to ease Hanzo’s worries. 

“Oh, well you see we have uh..,” Jesse rubbed the back of his neck, his eyes trailing to the ground. “We have a crime to...report.”

“Oh?” The man opened the door, his sheriff’s badge polished on his chest. “Then I suppose ya’ll should come inside. You look like you have a lot to say.”

McCree shot Hanzo a look before nodding, following the sheriff inside. He had wrinkles, obviously way past his prime, but he was still well built with a broad back and shoulders. He speculated he was ex-military, his office unnaturally neat and orderly. He wondered if it was a tick of his, or just due to the boredom he must experience on a day to day basis of living all the way out here. 

“I’m Sheriff Wallace,” he reached out his hand to Jesse, taking it into a tight grip.

“Joel Matthews,” McCree held his own, smiling and keeping his wrist taught. “It’s an honor to meet ya sir. Always had the greatest respect for the force.”

“Really now?” He perked an eyebrow, gesturing for him to sit down as he went behind his desk. 

“My daddy was an officer back home in Oklahoma,” Jesse complied, leaving his hat at the door. 

“Now what’s got you in Texas then?” He cracked his knuckles, frowning as he glanced over to Hanzo who was still standing by the doorway. “Ya’ll look like you’ve been through a meat grinder.Why you not home with your pa?” 

“‘Fraid to say he ain’t with us no more. He..he got shot on the job a couple years back. Robbery went bad.” He cast his eyes downward, his sorrow almost palatable. Hanzo would even have felt sorry for him if he knew he wasn’t full of shit. It was unnerving how good he was at lying, McCree kept reminding him that he was a covert op agent. 

“Sad to hear that,” He gave him a nod before turning his attention to Hanzo. “Why don’t you sit down and introduce yourself young man?”

Hanzo eyed him warily as he approached, leaving his arms crossed over his chest. He opened his mouth to speak but McCree interrupted. 

“That’s my friend Yuki. He’s an international student who’s been staying with me and my ma.” He shot him a little smile and motioned him forward. “His English still needs a lot of work, but he’s just kinda skittish in general. We’ve had a long day.”

Hanzo bit his lip, nodding in confirmation before looking at Jesse intensely. 

“Ohh, yeah do you have a bathroom?” He lied so casually it was both impressive and distressing. “He want’s to clean up.”

Wallace gave him a long look before nodding. “Down the hall near the prison cells. Don’t take too long now, you’ll need to make a statement. I wanna hear every detail of what happened to you two.”

Hanzo took the hint from Jesse to go snoop around. He wasn’t sure what he was looking for, and it didn’t help that the sheriff kept everything impeccably in order but nevertheless he’d at least try. 

He walked towards the back, though he could still hear their voices through the corridor. It wasn’t a large building, definitely not large enough for as many different sections it was put into, but Hanzo supposed it was only beneficial for him. It was easier to play dumb and stay lost while looking for clues though he hated that he had to ham up the stereotype of the clueless foreigner. As long as it worked, and ended up with Genji back safely it would be worth it. 

“We’re filing a missing person’s report,” He heard ‘Joel’ tell the Sheriff, in what sounded like a sincere voice. Hanzo had fallen for him in the first place for his genuineness, how real and upfront he was. Was it all an act? A series of well worded lies and a smug half grin all a ruse to get close to him? But for what ends, he had to question. If it was just for sex he would’ve left the day after, and if it was to turn him in to Blackwatch then he was doing a terrible job of it. He hated lying to himself, but perhaps it wasn’t one. He’d let himself believe that Jesse actually liked him, that he had cared for him at one point though he wasn’t sure what their relationship was anymore. He was fairly sure he had ‘broken up’ with him, but it was still an odd dance of emotions whenever they spoke and touched. Too familiar to be merely coworkers yet too distant to be lovers. Their interactions were too complicated for simple friendship, and it didn’t help that Hanzo was in love with him. He groaned to himself, lightly bumping his forehead into a wall for allowing himself to get trapped in this emotional mess. 

While Jesse went on a roundabout way of describing Genji and a fake mugging and kidnapping scenario, Hanzo found the bathroom with no trouble. He thoroughly checked the toilet, the medicine cabinet, and the sink for any indication of suspicion or tampering. By all accounts it was a normal, clean, and somewhat peppermint scented with no signs of criminal activity. He furrowed his brow wondering what could possibly be here that would have the golden man bring him up. The thought came by that there was nothing, it was all a distraction while they took Genji further and further away. He dismissed it with a bit of an ego, knowing that even though Genji was their father’s favorite it was Hanzo who was the heir. Above all else, he knew he would want him back. It wasn’t as simple as training Genji or having another child to take his place. He had been taught and groomed for this for twenty years. Hanzo wasn’t his son, he was an investment. There had to be something here.

He quickly went through the cleaning closet, which to no surprise was well stocked but lacking any contraband. He could hear the Sheriff asking if ‘Yuki’ was okay which only made Jesse raise his voice.

“Yeah, I’m pretty sure he’s fine he just has a bathroom  _ problem _ if ya catch my drift.” He could only imagine what smug expression he was wearing knowing full and foremost that Hanzo wouldn’t respond. “It..it might take him a while. Don’t worry about him, he’s not the one missing ya see…”

It took every ounce of self control for Hanzo not to storm over there and skin him alive then and there. He squinted his eyes, focusing back on the task at hand understanding he was trying to buy him precious time. He scanned the prison cells and the rest of the back compartments only to come up empty handed. He saw that there were living quarters consisting of a small bedroom. The sheriff must’ve lived here as well, which only added to his isolation. Hanzo didn’t trust the man, but he did feel bad for him if this was all he had. A small empty office and house with no real work to be done for whatever reason, though that didn’t make sense with the amount of crime that took place today. He shook his head, again frustrated for finding nothing. He went back up the hallway hearing Jesse tell the sheriff about his dream job of being a photographer which brought them to Cactus in the first place. Another darling lie.  

“And look who’s back! Everything okay there Yuki?” Jesse gave him a hopeful expression where Hanzo only replied with a shrug. 

“What did you do to my bathroom?” Wallace looked more than concerned with Hanzo’s uneasy stance. 

“Uh..maybe it’s best if we just left, ya got all the info so you can get that man hunt started or whatever.” McCree stood up taking Hanzo by the arm. “We’ll get outta ya hair and leave ya to important business.”

As they walked past the desk, a glint of gold caught Hanzo’s eye. A thumb drive engraved with a curved t, black and gold, sat next to his computer. The same golden t embroidered on the man’s coat, a nightmare only from a night ago.

“Wait!” He yelped, hoping that his voice cracked in character and not out of his own excitement. 

Jesse all but nearly jumped out of his skin, already setting his hat back onto his head. “What? And ouch my ears.”

He turned to him, rubbing his fingers lightly down Hanzo’s arm, his gaze locked onto him. He didn’t know why he focused on such a small gesture but his mind went blank when he heard the cock of a gun. 

Without a second thought he reached down to Peacekeeper, unholstering it and drawing it up like lightning. A single shot fired behind Jesse, Hanzo felt the dragon's sing and dance on his skin, enthralled by the shedding of blood. McCree turned around slowly to see Wallace with his gun drawn, his other hand clutching his chest as he fell back onto his chair. Turned out there weren’t as many good men as he had believed.

“He..was..no.” It broke Hanzo’s heart to see the realization dawn on Jesse, his gaze darkening. He looked back at Hanzo, his eyes drawn to Peacekeeper. “You saved my life.” His voice was hardly above a whisper.

“I know.” He fought the urge to kiss him, to drown the sorrow and awe in his eyes with his lips. He settled for re-holstering his gun and walking over to Wallace retrieving the thumb drive. “Now let’s find out who these bastards are.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, the last few chapters have been fast paced! The next one will be a bit slower so the boys can catch their breath, and discuss what the hell is happening. Sorry about the long update time, I actually went to ACEN and then started a summer internship so I've been swamped though I'll work hard to update more! Thanks again for all the support talking to you guys is always a treat!
> 
> If you need to hmu for any reason you can find me on tumblr @draconicfly and twitter @draconic_fly


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! This chapter is less actiony, more emotions and angst. Sorry for the long update time but again thanks for all the support, you guys really are the reason I keep writing. I edit everything myself so all mistakes are my own!

 

It hurt. There was no getting past that, no denying the pain that swam around his gut and leapt into his chest. It wasn’t like his eye, burning and fading, not even like the bullet he could’ve eaten, sharp and quick. It hurt like the first time he realized that boys and girls normally had a mom and dad, that growing up alone wasn’t typical. It hurt like the first time his mom forgot his birthday, or him altogether and left him alone. It hurt like when he found out the cowboys he saw in the movies were all dead, weren’t real, that he was always chasing dreams and ideals. Seeing the sheriff on his chair, frozen in death, hurt like a motherfucker. 

Hanzo had made his way to the computer, placing the flash drive in the port leaving him to sit back down. 

“Shit,” Hanzo hissed, his fingers clicking against the keyboard. “It need’s a password.”

“Well I reckon most secret plans do,” he said blankly, still in shock. He had only met the sheriff once in his time before, but like everything in Cactus, Jesse had watched him. He was a good man. An honest one. McCree had witnessed him deal with the community, keep order, help out those who needed it. Sure, he never could touch something as big as Deadlock, but he tried where others had turned their backs. He supposedly gave a damn.  

Yet he was the one who pointed the gun first, the one who was obviously paid off, the one who knew who Hanzo was the moment he had stepped in. It was a lie, an elaborate ‘fuck you’ from the world towards Jesse, that any hope he had in humanity was quickly going down the drain. However it was outlined in blue, that without even a second thought Hanzo had saved his life. 

“It must be somewhere around here,” he moved to shuffle through the desk, checking the corpse's pockets. “Shit nothing…” Hanzo hissed before he looked up at McCree, noticing his deep frown. “I’ll...I’ll go move the body. Why don’t you just search around for it in this room.” Jesse hated how his voice went quiet, knowing that he had to look like a dumb kid at this point. He was stronger than this, knew better than to believe in heros. 

“Y-yeah, that makes sense.” Jesse took a deep breath gathering up some composure. “He was old, old people always write this sort of stuff down. Bad memory and all.”

Hanzo gave him a curt nod as he started dragging Wallace away, Jesse turned his head to avoid his pale dead eyes. It was unsettling, death was never something that made him queasy yet he found himself glued to his chair until Hanzo was out of the sight. 

Silence. It was an oddity that he hadn’t experienced in a while now, the quiet that came with an empty room. He stood up, feeling a bit weak now that all the action had calmed down. He knew the fall from the horse hadn’t been good to his back, not like any of his current choices were doing him any benefit. 

Before he had actually even searched that much Hanzo popped back in, his face heavy with worry. “Hey.” He said a bit breathlessly, Wallace wasn’t exactly a small man.

“Yeah. Sorry no password so far.” He shrugged though Hanzo’s eyes stayed focused on him. It trailed from his scuffed up jeans, to his arms, all the way up to his dirty face. “So I’m guessing you’re wondering what that was…”

“I mean, yes. I do not want to pry but that was… that was incredible Jesse. Incredibly stupid and brazen but amazing nonetheless.” Jesse wanted to say he saw a hint of pink glow on his cheeks, but it very well could have been the sun. He knew at the very least that he was sweating.

“Thanks...I guess.” McCree rubbed the back of his neck, unsure what to do with the praise. “But if I’m being honest I don’t rightly know. It’s one hell of a trick shot.”

He gave Jesse a skeptical gaze, though nodded in agreement.“That it is.” 

They both stood in silence, staring at the floor. It was awkward, he wouldn’t lie, but he was also enthralled that they had made it this far. How many times should they have died that day? How many bullets had been shot at them, how many men had hunted them down only to be end up lost or dead? Yet Hanzo was in front of him, dirty and bruised, but alive. Jesse bit his lip, wanting nothing more than to reach out and brush back a stray lock of inky hair behind his ear but his hands stood motionless. 

“What about you?” He spoke up as he followed Hanzo into another room to resume their search. “Y’know that whole glowing arm thing? Where ya kinda got mad at it and yelled something. That was sorta weird.”

Hanzo snorted at Jesse, throwing a blank notebook at him. “I did not get mad at my  _ arm. _ If I told you the truth you’d just think I’m crazy.”

Jesse threw the notebook back, laughing a bit from the smirk Hanzo shot him, the childishness lightening his mood somewhat. “Please, I already think you’re crazy.”

Hanzo rolled his eyes, though he wore a smile. “Fine. I have two spirit dragons bound to my soul that’s tied to my bloodline, and they can manifest themselves in our world as concrete entities that release destruction and death.” He exhaled deeply, making eye contact with Jesse. “They wanted to fight, and I did not want them to destroy the town. There.” He folded his arms across his chest, Jesse swearing that the tattoo glowed for a split second. “Told you it sounds crazy.”

“Eh, I’ve heard crazier,” Jesse gave him a short shrug, though he wasn’t sure if he had. Soul dragons were certainly something new. “So you have arm dragons and I have a helluva trick shot.” McCree shook his head as he continued to sort through a pile of notepads. “No wonder we have so many problems.”

Hanzo couldn’t hold back a chuckle, covering his mouth with one hand. “Yes. Cursed to be part of something we don’t understand.”

“And something we never wanted to be a part of,” Jesse sighed, frowning a little before standing up. “Hey, I’m gonna raid his fridge. If we’re gonna search I ain’t doing it hungry.”

Hanzo nodded to him, turning back to search as McCree slipped away to the kitchen area. It matched the house, small and organized although he admitted it looked sparse in the food department. He groaned, hitting his head against the fridge frustrated with himself. He didn’t really have an appetite, for the most part he felt numb and sore wanting nothing more than to fall asleep. They had gone through so much shit today for a thumb drive, and he still couldn’t shake the ache that something terrible was just around the corner. He prayed for the first time that his instincts were wrong, and maybe he was just anxious from dehydration or something. 

He had only managed to grab a cup of water before he heard faint footsteps behind him.

“Jesse?” Hanzo’s voice sounded uncharacteristically soft, the bite in his voice absent. “Do you wish to talk about it?”

“I already done told ya, I don’t know what it is. Guess there’s something wrong with my eye.” He took a long sip before facing him, startled to see his stern expression.

“That’s not what I meant.” Hanzo took a step forward, maintaining eye contact. “The sheriff..the town. All of it...all of this…” His gaze was unwavering, as stoic and solid as he always was. “Are you okay Jesse?”

“Okay?” Jesse chuckled, as he set the water down, his hand slightly shaking. “Yeah I’m great. Just seeing that everything is still as fucking terrible as I left it. Or I guess even more so, since the only decent man I thought was around just tried to shoot me. So yeah, I guess other than that I’m a-fucking-okay.” His voice cracked, a frown breaking through as he found a stool to sit on. “One of my friends is still missing because I’m a selfish asshole, I went AWOL to the man who saved me, and to top it off I’m…” his eyes trailed back to Hanzo, his face serene in the harsh bright lighting of the room.  _ And I’m in love with you. _ “I’m not okay.” He admitted, staring back at the ground. “I know I ain’t got no right to be telling you this, but I don’t think I am.”

Hanzo walked forward, placing a hand on his shoulder. “Then talk to me. Let’s...let’s figure out what’s going on.” 

Jesse bit his lip, a swirl of emotions surging through him. He didn’t know what they were anymore, where they stood. Yet when he reached his hand to his, Hanzo didn’t move, didn’t pull away. McCree held onto his hand weakly, nodding. 

“I did you wrong. I did you all wrong, and now it’s like fucking karma that everything is going to shit.” He hung his head, the words slipping past his inhibitions to stop. “Just...I’m sorry Hanzo. I’m so fucking sorry that any of this is happening.”

“Jesse, I told you it’s not your fault.”

“But it is, I--,”

“Jesse.” Hanzo interrupted him, his voice dangerously low. “It isn’t your fault, at least not solely. The truth is it doesn’t matter who’s responsible at this point. We need to find my brother, that’s all that counts.” His grip on his shoulder tightened, his thumb rubbing against McCree’s hand. 

“I know.” Jesse replied after a long pause. He let out a soft sigh, a little disappointed to feel Hanzo’s hand slip from him.

“When...when we were boys we had to share most of our belongings,” Hanzo started as he went to open the fridge, his eyes narrowed in thought. “Despite our family’s wealth our father felt that if he gave in to our every whim we’d become spoiled. That worked so well until Genji could talk fully, then he could end up with anything he wanted.” Hanzo chuckled to himself as he went to grab some sandwich meat, moving over to the cupboards afterwards. “Anyways, we had to share our toys as well. I didn’t agree with this very strongly when I was young, in honesty I was mad they had another child to begin with.” Hanzo paused for a moment, his hands tapping the counter as he continued. “Yet Genji was in fact born. I had to let him play with my things, but only after my parents and I came to an agreement, an exception. You see, I owned an action figure of my favorite samurai, hand carved and painted. Truly a beautiful and rightful treasure for a boy, he was my prized possession. I forbade Genji from ever touching it, and you know what he did?”

McCree cleared his throat, not expecting him to ask him anything. “Welp, I’m guessing he touched it.”

“Yes, not only that but he  _ broke _ it.” Hanzo found the loaf of bread, taking a couple of slices. “Split in his midsection, he had managed to bisect my poor samurai. I found him clutching those two pieces, tears in his eyes. ‘Oh brother I’m so sorry, I did not mean for him to break’, he was so remorseful. He was afraid I was going to kill him.”

“You were furious though, right?” McCree tilted his head, watching Hanzo intently. 

“Yes, but I was far more upset when I saw him crying. He was...he was so little Jesse. It was then when I first understood what it meant to be an older brother, what I was in his eyes. He was small and afraid and I knew it was my job to prevent that, to watch over him.” Hanzo shifted his gaze to McCree. “He kept apologizing, snot and tears everywhere, it was just pitiful. So I took ahold of his hand and looked him directly in his face and told him I forgave him. ‘But this was your favorite, you told me not to, aren’t you mad’ he asked between his sobbing. Yet I still told him I forgave him because we are brothers and I love him. I knew it was my duty to make sure he never seemed so small again. I knew it down to my core.” He grew quiet, his eyes drifting to the tile floor. “I can’t fail him, Jesse. I can’t let him down.”

McCree stood up, leaning over the countertop beside him “You won’t. I know family means a lot to you.” 

Hanzo nudged his shoulder lightly. “There was a point to that story other than that. I..” he almost looked nervous, a sight McCree was not used to seeing “I forgive you because I care about you.”

They were both silent for a moment, Jesse staring at him as Hanzo took a bite out of his sandwich. The words rang hollow in his ears, wondering if he was still stuck in some sort of dream or nightmare. “Hanzo..” he didn’t know what to say, what he could say. Jesse was dumbfounded and tongue tied all over again, a toxic cycle he found himself constantly in when he was around him. 

“You don’t have to say anything Jesse. Nothing you don’t want to.” He took a few bites before turning to him, his eyes dark and unreadable. “I just wanted you to know.”

He walked past Jesse, mere inches away yet it felt like miles. He wanted to reach out to him, to feel his inky hair against his skin, to breath in his scent and try to forget all the horrors that surrounded them. But he just stood by, waiting for him to leave the room before laying his head onto the counter, taking his face into his hands.

“You’re so fucked,” he mumbled to himself, knowing that he wasn’t okay. That he didn’t deserve forgiveness, that he didn’t deserve whatever affection Hanzo still had for him. But there was something. Out of it all, after all the shit of the last few days, he still had space left in his heart for Jesse. He swallowed deeply, knowing he wouldn’t let that go for granted, that he wouldn’t let go that small grain of hope. He wouldn't let him down again.

McCree figured he needed to make something to eat as well, but the numbness mixed with nausea that persisted in his gut did little to help in the way of an appetite. He let out a heavy sigh, dragging his feet out of the kitchen. 

“Hey, Hanzo I…” he could hear the other man sorting through more boxes, the sound of flipping paper along with mumbling behind the cracked door. _Tell him the truth._ “I think...I think I need to tell you something as well.” He was met with silence, as he leaned against the doorway, his gaze stuck on the wall. He took it as an invitation to continue, his nerves almost clogging up his throat. “Now I ain’t got a lotta stories about forgiveness, and I don’t got any family anymore, but I do know about fucking up. I guess you’re familiar with that.” _Tell him how you feel._ “I didn’t have anyone growing up. Anyone worth a shit at least, I got...I got mixed up with Deadlock a lot younger than I should’ve, and I’ve a done a lotta bad that I know I’m damned for.” _Tell him you’re sorry._ “I ain’t asking for forgiveness. You’ve already given it, though the lord knows I don’t deserve it. I know I’m rambling but I just want you to know Hanzo…. I’m not a good guy.” Tears threatened to breach the edges of his eyes, his sore eye beginning to sting. “The man you think I am...the one you said you loved...it’s not that simple. I should’ve been kind and good and honest, but I wasn’t and now we’re here. I should’ve been someone who you could love without worries or strings or all the bullshit I’ve put you through. I should’ve put you first.” He heard the sounds of papers stop, his own heart beating too loudly for him to be certain. “I thought when I joined Blackwatch things would change, that I would change. That somehow magically I’d become a better man.” _Tell him you love him._ “But I didn’t. I still did bad shit. Maybe I still do, but for this last month or so I’ve known you...I felt like I was someone I wasn’t. I don’t reckon in my short life anyone had loved me, but you...Hanzo you made me feel _different._ You made me feel like someone in the world gave a damn about me for no other reason than you _liked_ me. Hanzo..I..”

Hanzo opened the door suddenly, taking Jesse off guard. “I found the password.” He wouldn’t meet his eyes which only heightened his anxiety. 

“Oh,” he felt more than a little embarrassed as he followed him back to the computer not knowing if he should finish his train of thought. “What is it?”

“Eleanor34,” he stated, looking down at a piece of paper. “I’m assuming a wife, or a daughter.” Hanzo appeared trouble, his gaze narrowing. “Doesn’t matter anymore. Let’s just see what’s going on.”

Jesse went to plug in the thumb drive, waiting for it to pull up as Hanzo sat down at the desk. He still felt a bit shaken from his emotional outburst, but attempted to appear cool and casual.

“Soo...what’s on it,” he squinted his eyes at the screen viewing a series of names and numbers that meant nothing to him. “Anything about...Deadlock? Or Genji or…”

McCree let out a small ‘aha’ as Hanzo clicked on a folder labeled ‘Shimada’, his scowl worsening. “They’ve...they were hired by my father. Deadlock apparently is working for a larger organization, a ‘Talon’?” He looked up at Jesse who only shrugged in reply.

“Never heard of them.” The name didn’t ring any bells from his time with the gang or with Blackwatch. Whoever they were, they were either new or super confidential. 

“Neither have I.” Hanzo stated darkly as he continued to click into more sub folders. “Palo Duro? What does that mean?” 

“Hard wood,” Hanzo shot him an incredulous look before he continued. “It’s a canyon, like a state park or some shit. It’s not too far from here.” Jesse had never gone himself, but remembered seeing it on a tourist pamphlet before. “Is that where they took Genji?”

“I believe so. It seems they have some sort of secret base there, that’s where they’re supposed to fly him and me back to Hanamura.” Hanzo squinted his eyes at the screen, as if he was trying to melt it. “Though apparently one is enough for them, there’s a chain of emails saying to send whoever they have thus far. I have to get there before they ship Genji off. As soon as he steps onto a plane, it’ll be over.” Desperation was blatant in his voice, his hands fidgeted as he read further. 

“Then, we should probably get to it. Palo Duro is about a couple hours away if we can grab ourselves a set of wheels, and I’m sure we can just take the Sheriff’s car since the keys are just --”

“Jesse,” Hanzo rose his hand to cut him off. “I’m going alone.”

He was taken back, the words taking a moment for him to process before he could respond. “What?” McCree rubbed at his eyes as his brain was buffering. “Are you fucking nuts? Alone? You’re the other goddamn Shimada they’re looking for! You might as well be gift wrapped with a fucking bow on ya head if ya gonna make it so easy! No, nope, you are not going by yourself, you hear me?”

Hanzo stood up forcefully, his hands balled up at his sides. “I was not asking you,” his voice was low, radiating authority. “I understand that you are angry. You are upset and emotional and that is something I cannot afford to watch while I do this. I thank you for what you have done for me to this point, but this is something I must continue alone.” His eyes were glued to the monitor, it agitated Jesse that he couldn’t read his expression. “You can go back home Jesse. To Blackwatch. Perhaps they’ll take you back. Tell whatever lies you must about me, just do what it takes to ensure your safety.”

Jesse was dumbfounded, shocked, bewildered with about a million different responses running through his mind. He stared at him, eyes wide, a surge of fire igniting inside his chest. “I don’t give a flying fuck about Blackwatch right now Hanzo. I thought we said we wouldn’t do this hero bullshit! Genji needs  _ us _ ! Fuck!” He ran his hand through his hair roughly, unable to control his volume. “Hanzo, look it’s suicide to go by yourself, I have to help, I..”  _ Tell him the truth. _

“You what Jesse?” Hanzo took a step towards him, his brows knitted together. “What’s so important that you should risk your life for me? Your livelihood, everything you have ever fucking worked for? You don’t owe me this, you don’t owe me shit anymore. You have a chance to be better, to do better. This? Genji and everything, this is my family. My problem. Not yours.” 

McCree scoffed, frustration bubbling to the surface. “I just poured my fucking heart out to you, and you tell me to leave? That I don’t have any stakes in this? Ya gotta know I’m human, sweetheart, that I don’t rightly think I understand what you’re trying to say.”  _ Tell him you love him. _

“I am not your sweetheart.” Hanzo’s words were like venom as he spat them out. “And do not act like you are the only one who has exposed their heart to be disappointed.” His eyes went down, his stony demeanor nearly cracking. “I’ll state it simply. I want you to leave.”

Jesse’s face drooped, his anger sinking into despair. “You...if you really want me to go so fucking bad, I will okay. But think about it hard, fucking hard because as soon as I walk through that door I ain’t coming back.” He gestured towards the entrance, knowing his eyes had to be red at this point.  _ Coward.  _ “I’ll leave, and I won’t turn back. It’ll be the last ya see of Jesse McCree, forever. So what do you really want?”

Hanzo stared up at him, his face placid and calm. The silence before his response was tearing him up inside. “I..I want you to go back to Oklahoma.” 

It hurt. Not in the way his eye did, or any other physical or mental suffering people had put him through throughout the years, but it hurt. He remembered seeing heartbreak on television, thinking it was stupid to let yourself be so emotionally exposed that someone could break you. Now he understood, now he felt broken. He knew Hanzo did this to keep him out of the way, to protect him, yet it didn’t help with the pain that was burning through his system, the storm of emotions that was ripping the color out of his life. “Alright,” his hands rested on his belt buckle as he turned his face away from him, tears beginning to stream down his cheeks. “I reckon this is goodbye then.” 

“I suppose.” Hanzo’s voice was quiet almost to where Jesse thought he imagined his voice. McCree wanted to be angry again, wanted to spit back fire and salt but the weight in his limbs ached only with weariness. 

There was a moment of awkward silence before Jesse started out the door, not looking behind him. He wanted to scream, to tear his hair out about how stubborn the both of them were and how he could not force himself to vocalize the words that he held so closely to his chest.  _ I love you. I love you. I love you. _ It drummed through his mind like a chorus as he slammed the screen door behind him, his hat turned downward to try to cover his tearstained face. 

He stormed out towards the bike, his vision blurry as his breathing hitched. He was a mess of emotions, not quite believing it while fully aware of what goodbye entailed. “I can’t...I fucking...Jesus christ I’m an idiot.” Despite what he said, he turned back, noticing he was a good distance away from the jailhouse. He couldn’t quite wrap his mind around it, after everything they went through, after all that they had did together Hanzo didn’t want him to finish it. That McCree was doomed again to leave the job half finished, to leave his tab unpaid. To leave without telling the love of his life how he really felt. 

“I do agree, you’re an idiot.” An unfamiliar voice shot him back into survival mode as he reached for his gun. Before he had the chance to draw he felt a barrel press to the back of his head, causing him to silently curse his distracted state. “Uh, uh, uh. Steady there cowboy.” He rose his hands up as he slowly turned, seeing the missing van parked a few yards away. More Deadlock or Talon, whoever the evil masterminds were behind this. They had tracked them down afterall.

The man glared at him, nodding towards the house. “Is he in there?”

Jesse stared at him blankly, the gun pointed at his face. “Fuck off.” He grumbled, knowing that he meant Hanzo. To them, he was just an expendable kid, an inconvenience towards their paycheck. If he was going to die, he was going to die as he lived. Mouthy and unreasonable. 

The gun cocked as he shut his eyes, prepping for the worst. He wanted to laugh, that it was only poetic that he died in the middle of nowhere Texas, a gun to his head with his heart in pieces. It passed his mind that he hadn’t made it to twenty, that he would die young just like everyone had warned him. That despite his youth he still had his regrets, that there was so much unsaid to Reyes, to Genji. To Hanzo.

As he began to accept his end the wind picked up nearly knocking him forward. It was sudden, quick, and for a moment he thought he had died though he did not hear the thunder of a gunshot. It was terrifying, the energy around him swallowing him whole, electricity rushing around him in currents like an angry river. He managed to open his eyes, both horrified and mystified as large blue scales swarmed and wrapped around him, shocking his skin. Jesse thought his eardrums were about to burst as a loud bass pounded against his head. He could only watch on in horrified silence as he witnessed curved teeth and claws rip and bite the man before him, leaving nothing left. His heart nearly stopped, the air thickening making every breath more difficult than the last. As swiftly as it had rolled in, the chaos dispersed leaving Jesse breathless and confused. He fell forward, the world swirling and howling into darkness, his last thought thinking that maybe that it was Hanzo who he heard calling out his name.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh I know it's been more than a month since the last update but big changes have happened so recently! I actually just moved and now that I'm living at a much better place I'm happy to say I can write on a somewhat normal schedule and that I'll be trying to go back to every 1-2 weeks to update! Again, thank you for your patience and support, writing is my most beloved hobby. Also, I promise the boys will make up before all is said and done, though there will be a second part to this series!
> 
> If you need to hmu for any reason you can find me on tumblr @draconicfly and twitter @draconic_fly


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! This is more of a soft, good feels kind of chapter so I hope ya'll enjoy! I edit everything myself so all mistakes are my own~

He made a mistake. Few times would Hanzo, heir to the Shimada legacy, the proud dragon himself, would admit as much but when he watched that cowboy walk out the door he felt his heart shatter. He tried to convince himself that it was for his safety, for both of them. That the longer they strung this along the worse the end would become, so Hanzo had decided to end it now. He screamed to set him free, to clip the string that tied Jesse to him. It wasn’t fair, none of this was fair, but Hanzo had not been raised to believe the world was such. He wanted the lessen the pain, to give Jesse a chance before either of them became too invested. But he had made a mistake.

Hanzo gritted his teeth, told himself to stay put, to let him go. That if he truly loved him he would let Jesse try to go out and reclaim his life, to go back to the world he knew before Hanzo had brought his storm of problems. Jesse deserved so much more than him, deserved a love that didn’t hurt, didn’t cause him so much pain and conflict. He deserved someone who wasn’t Hanzo. 

Yet again his body betrayed his mind, yet again he failed to exhibit control. His feet went, carrying him through the doorway after an agonizing minute, chasing after the one man he had truly loved. He didn’t remember where he parked, if he’d already be on the bike racing away from him but his legs didn’t care. He had to catch him, he had to apologize, he had to let him know. Hanzo didn’t just care about him, he loved him with his heart, his soul.  _ I love you, I love you, I love you. _ The words leaped from his chest nearly out his throat, trapped on the tip of his tongue. Hanzo instinctively grabbed his bow on his way out, prepared to shoot the damn bike if it would make him stay, make Jesse at least listen to what Hanzo had to say. 

His heart stopped as he came to a cold halt, his eyes widening in horror when he had found his cowboy. A gun to his head, his breath got caught in his lungs as the enemy that took his brother away threatened again to take what he held so dear. He couldn’t lose another one, he was running out of people he cared about. He didn’t know how much more he could take, again it would be his fault that they were gone, that his isolation was self inflicted. That no matter how hard he trained or studied or tried that he was helpless to watch fate unravel before him. Hanzo didn’t blink as he drew back an arrow, his emotions and thoughts the only thing that dictated his instincts. 

A shudder went up his spine and flowed through his skin. It had been a while since the dragons had spoken to him so directly, that he could feel them claw up from underneath his ink pulling at the edges as they asked a single question repeatedly.

_ What do you desire? _ Their voices rang as one, his rage building in his chest, as he worries and fears melted into one wish. . 

_ Fire.  _ He saw the man, saw him cock the gun as McCree stood there, his hand on his holster and head bowed.  _ Death. _ He screamed, his voice seemingly lost as the arrow was released, the wind and torrents of lightning ripping through the air violently. It had been so long since he had called upon them, he had forgotten how it felt, how they felt. They tore through his arm, his ink glowing as they ripped their way into his plane of existence, grinning and snarling for blood. His eyes shut as they surged toward the man, his screams lost into the howling of the dragons, another soul claimed, another life lost because of him. 

Hanzo almost fell, his legs weak as he stumbled forward, the storm quickly dissipating as the dragons dissolved back into a blue mist. His body ached, the skin on his arm throbbing as he could feel the dragons clawing to be let free, claiming that they weren’t sated, that it wasn’t enough. Yet again his legs kept running, hushing them as his voice cracked calling out to him. “Jesse! Jesse, please!” 

He saw him laying on the floor, his clothing ripped with bleeding scratches covering his body. Hanzo’s heart almost stopped when he could see that the tips of his hair were singed, that he was unconscious, hurt, because of him. Hanzo felt the shame nearly swallow him whole knowing that he had risked Jesse’s life because he succumbed to a moment of fury. “No, please Jesse.” He pleaded, his hands running over him searching to see if anything vital was damaged. He shook his head, knowing he had to move him before any more surprises came their way. The other man was a bit bigger than him in weight and height, but he was a Shimada, and a Shimada never gave up. He heaved Jesse up into his arms, his muscles cursing at him in protest and exhaustion, yet he was determined to get him back into the house, back into safety. Jesse had promised never to return once he left through that door, but Hanzo would break it for him. He had made this mistake, and he only hoped he could repair it.

Jesse wasn’t light, and the walk back wasn’t fun. It was only a handful of yards and he could feel Jesse breathing heavily but it did little to calm his nerves on the terrible march.  _ I did this to him. _ His mind hissed as he could feel the dragons dancing under his skin again, their delighted growls conflicting with his own emotions.  _ I hurt the man I love. _ He knew it wasn’t just the superficial injuries once he was able to flop him onto the Sheriff’s bed. Jesse’s face was dirty and scuffed up, tear streaks staining his cheeks. He had done this to  _ him _ . He had made him cry. 

“Jesse, please.” He moved him onto his back, grabbing a dishcloth to begin wiping away the dirt and blood along with his tears. “Please wake up,” his voice wavered, no longer holding true, no longer holding steady. Hanzo knew he was falling apart, crumbling from his foundation as his anger dispersed into despair. His fingers clawed through his hair as he paced about the room, returning to Jesse’s side to attempt to clean him up further. “Jesse, I need you. Please.”  _ I lied. I lied. I lied. _ His mind raced as he could feel his heart try to beat out of his chest. He couldn’t control his own tears as they began to run down his face suddenly. Hanzo almost began to heave due to how dry his own throat was, coughing up a bit of dust.

Jesse was breathing. That much was evident, though his eyes were still shut he was breathing which meant he was alive. Hanzo moved a chair beside the bed, watching him intently as the pounding in his chest finally started to calm down. He wondered if there were more of them, if more Talon was already on his doorstep and they were cursed to die for being here. He knew he couldn’t move Jesse much further, that he needed him to wake up. His bow was placed by the door, his gaze moving to it for a moment recognizing in his heart that he was ready to kill for Jesse, that he had already done so. Hanzo was past denying and repressing his emotions on the matter, he would go to any measure to keep him safe. He didn’t realize he had clenched his fist as he waited, his knuckles an icy white as he moved his attention back to Jesse. He almost looked peaceful like this, despite the dirt and blood he had a serene expression as he slept. 

Hanzo reached over to hold his hand, feeling rather hopeless. There was little he could do at this point but wait, wait and pray to whatever god that watched over them for a miracle. That somehow, they would come out of this okay, that somehow if he woke up that he could forgive Hanzo and at least hear him out. He wasn’t sure what he would say to him, what he could say to him, but he knew he had to try. Hanzo hated admitting any weakness, the voice of his father ringing in his ears.  _ Emotions lead to liabilities.  _ He could feel his father’s phantom eyes burn into the back of his skull, as if he was there.  _ You will rule our family one day. You must purge such petty attachments if you wish to survive such a life _ . He thought he could do it, that he could be strong, but it had all but gone to hell with the messy, addictive past few months. He hadn’t lied, he needed Jesse, needed him more than he had ever needed or wanted anyone else in his life up to this point. Squeezing his hand lightly, he rose it to his lips brushing his knuckles in a feather light kiss. “Please,” his voice was hoarse at this point, a sob threatening to break through the dryness of his throat. “Please Jesse. I can’t be alone, I can’t do  _ this  _ alone..” 

By some act of god he saw his eyes open, as if he had heard his pleas for help. Honey brown eyes looked up, glazed as if he didn’t understand where he was. “Jesse!” He failed to control himself as he wrapped his arms around his neck, his head burying into his shoulder.“Jesse, I’m so sorry, I’m so fucking sorry.” Hanzo figured it was unbecoming of him to be literally crying on him but he couldn’t stop it, couldn’t command his body to listen to his father’s voice in his head. 

“Hanzo, what..” He felt his hand raise up, moving to cradle the back of his head. He leaned into his touch, his voice beginning to crack into a small whine.

“I lied, I didn’t want to, but I  _ lied _ .” Hanzo lifted his chin to look him in the face, noticing that Jesse’s eyes were bloodshot red.  _ You made him cry, you hurt him.  _ The horrible voice confirmed to him.

Jesse appeared shaken, more than a little confused as he squinted his eyes at him.“Hanzo, I don’t understand--”

“I hurt you,” he said plainly, his hands slipping down to his shoulders. “I hurt you and I apologize. I never wanted...I never wanted any of this for you, Jesse…” he took a deep breath, attempting to compose himself, to offer an explanation. He did this for him, without Jesse he knew he would be dead at this point with no hope of reclaiming his brother. Hanzo was never the best with words, but he was determined to try. “I just want you to be safe.”

Jesse was still dazed, his eyes slowly focusing on him. “Where are the dragons? Those...those were the dragons right? Is the town okay, Jesus my head…” he attempted to stand up, though he quickly grimaced his hand raising to his temples. 

Hanzo was swift to sit him back down, his grip on his shoulders tightening.”Take it easy, you have been through a lot.” He bit his bottom lip, looking down. He honestly was lucky the dragon’s only appeared for a brief moment, that they didn’t steamroll the town. Hanzo cursed himself for being so emotional, for releasing the dragons. “Because of me..I..I’m sorry.” It was ironic, he thought how the tables had turned of who wished for forgiveness. “The dragons are gone, they never got close to Cactus.” 

“That’s..that’s good.” Jesse took a slow breath.”Look, Hanzo--,” he cut him off by raising his hand.

“Please hear me out first, I..I need to get this off my chest. Then I’ll hear your judgement, just listen.” Hanzo waited til Jesse gave him a confirming small nod. “Good.” He took a moment to gather his thoughts. There was too much he wanted to say, but what could he say? How could he justify his behavior, his polarizing attitude towards the one man he had ever loved? “I understand if you hate me, you have the right too. If you despise me, never want to see me again, then after I’m done tell me and you will never hear from me.” Jesse opened his mouth to retort but Hanzo raised a finger, hushing him. Hanzo feared if he stopped now, he would lose his strength, lose his hope. “I was wrong, believe me when I tell you I say this with great difficulty, but I was wrong. I cannot do this alone, I cannot go on...alone. Genji needs you,  _ I  _ need you.” He held Jesse’s hand with both of his, bowing his head. He didn’t know where the words were coming from, but they flowed out smoothly letting his mind free for once. He had to confess to Jesse, to let him see what he was. Hanzo hated the idea of vulnerability, but if anyone deserved to know the truth it was Jesse.  _ Love is not unconditional _ . His father hissed into his ear. ”I know I’m ugly inside, that deep down there is something cruel, unnecessarily cruel, that I hate but cannot get rid of. I am a monster, but you have looked at me in a way that I think perhaps somehow I could be better, that I could be something different. I have no right to ask you of this, to take me back, but if you will I promise I will be better, stronger. Stronger for you, for Genji...for myself.” He couldn’t bring himself to look into Jesse’s eyes afraid of what he’d see. Hanzo bit his lip forcing himself to continue. “There is a darkness, a sickness that crawls around me, and you’re the only person I’ve ever known who...who understands. You were never afraid, never tried to change me. You accepted me as a flawed individual, and in turn I wanted to be someone worthy of that affection.” Hanzo suddenly looked up, Jesse’s eyes glowing golden in the evening light. The shades in the Sheriff’s room left rows of sunlight on him, softening the hard lines on his young face. The words got caught in his throat momentarily, baffled at how beautiful Jesse was. “You are the only person who I ever felt free with. Whatever happens to me, to us, I just wanted you to know that. Thank you, Jesse McCree. Thank you for making me feel alive for the first time in twenty years. I will never forget or think ill of you for as long as I live.” His jaw twitched before casting his eyes downward, slightly embarrassed. “I love you, and part of me always will. I never wanted you to cry, and it is my deepest regret to have ever harmed you. There, that’s all I have to say.” The room grew silent, the tension nearly suffocating. He waited for Jesse to speak, feeling his hands shake slightly when he took a deep breath.

“You came back for me.” His voice was filled with such awe, Hanzo couldn’t help but return his look, witnessing the softest smile spread across his face. His heart ached at the way he looked at him, the way he always did. That he wasn’t bad, that he wasn’t just destined for tragedy and horror, that somehow he was someone completely different. Someone that could be good. 

“Yeah,” he replied softly, watching him carefully. 

“I...thank you. You didn’t have to.” A rush of red on freckled skin, a flash of white in a nervous smile. Hanzo was speechless, unable to articulate on how he felt further. Jesse chuckled, understandingly. He always understood him, better than Hanzo knew himself some days. “I guess you felt ya had to. I mean I appreciate it all but shit…” he trailed off, his eyes sweeping to their hands. “Why...why did you make me go if you love me? I’m sorry if my head got knocked around a bit but I’m a mess right now so ya gonna have to spell it out to me.” He sounded frustrated, which was reasonable. Hanzo would be furious at him if the roles were reversed honestly. 

Hanzo squeezed his hand, perhaps too hard as Jesse squirmed a bit. “I..I told you those things because I was scared. I have already lost Genji and I do not wish to lose you as well, to put you through more danger…” Hanzo did his best to maintain eye contact, something he never had much trouble with before. “I did not mean to make you cry. By hurting you, I have broken my own heart, my own soul.” He brought Jesse’s hand up to press a weak kiss on his knuckles. “I was a fool, who let cowardly words speak louder than my affection. I am yours if you will have me.” 

The smile grew, his tone growing softer. “Well...damn. Can’t say I’ve ever been too keen at holding grudges at people who saved my life.” He squeezed his hand back, a warm crimson worming it’s way up to his ear tips. Hanzo had always adored how he blushed so fully, that someone like him was doomed to wear his heart on his sleeve. “I..I love you.” He moved one hand to wipe away any stray tears on Hanzo’s face. He leaned into his touch, surprised that he had forgotten that he had cried a fair amount from this ordeal. “I should’ve told you a long time ago, but I love you and if you need me,” Jesse straightened his back, adding a bit of authority to his voice. “If you need me, I will always be there for you Hanzo. Always. I love you.” He restated it more firmly, his expression lighting up. “I love you for all I’m worth darlin, and it would be my pleasure to be your date to hell and back.”

Hanzo’s eyes widened as he took a second to process what he had said. He loved him. Despite the torture he had dragged him through, despite the truth of who Hanzo was, Jesse found a way to love him. The same man that his father had trained to be nothing more than a link in the Shimada chain was someone more, someone who could love and be loved in return. That Jesse once again surprised him, that the world wasn’t nearly as bleak as he saw it.“So..so okay.” He bit his lip as Jesse nodded.

“So okay.” Jesse chuckled, the ends of his eyes crinkling. He was beautiful, even dusted in dirt and blood, he was the most beautiful person Hanzo had ever had the privilege of knowing. His chapped lips tempted to crack as his grin grew, his heart doing cartwheels knowing he loved him back.

Hanzo leaned forward, feeling nervous as he eyes fluttered shut. Warm lips met him halfway as he tasted smoke and honey, tasted Jesse. He didn’t know how long they sat there and kissed, but it was Jesse who withdrew first. 

He rested his nose against Hanzo’s cheek, not wanting to break contact. “I love you Hanzo Shimada, and I ain’t ever gonna leave your side. I’m yours too, y’know.” 

His grin almost hurt from how wide it was, Hanzo watching him through partially lidded eyes. “I love you Jesse McCree. I promise I won’t ask you to leave, ever again.” He pressed another kiss onto the side of his mouth, his stubble rubbing against his cheek. Hanzo could feel his stomach do flips as his heart danced. He moved to cup his cheek, almost feeling like they were making vows. “I am your sweetheart, okay? From this moment for the rest of my life, I want to be with you.” There was still so much left to be figured out, so many unknowns before them. Yet somehow the knowledge that he would face them all with this man next to him chased all doubt from his mind, eased him when otherwise he would be hopeless.

“We’re going to get Genji back,” Jesse asserted, running his hand through Hanzo’s hair. His fingertips grazed his scalp, causing him to lean into his touch. “We’re going to get him back and then the three of us will figure it out. I’ve lived out on the road before, and with you two I doubt it’ll be hard.” He pressed a kiss to his forehead softly, Hanzo helpless but to blush at the affection..

“Yeah, it’s not like assassins and bounty hunters will be chasing us.” Hanzo joked, rubbing his thumb over the facial hair on Jesse’s cheek. It was coarse, but he couldn’t lie about how he liked the texture.

“Don’t forget Blackwatch! Lord knows Reyes will be pissed with me going AWOL, I know way too much shit.” Jesse joked before his gaze faltered for a moment, reaching out past the windows.

“You don’t have to,” Hanzo whispered before going in for another kiss. “After this you can go back, I would not hold it against you.” He knew Jesse was taking a risk if he decided to stay with them, that he would essentially be throwing away his second chance. He loved him dearly, but he wouldn’t ask him to give up everything for him, no matter how much he wanted him to stay.

“Didn’t ya just hear me? I ain’t leaving you.” Jesse murmured, leaning his forehead against his. His eyes were always so expressive, so hypnotising. They took on an intensity that demanded to be drawn into which left Hanzo finding it impossible to look away. “No power on this earth is keeping me away from the man I love.” He shook his head with a grin. “Shit, that sounds cheesy but I mean it. I’m in this for the long haul, honey. I just think you might be the love of my life.” 

Hanzo’s eyes widened as he felt himself blush, the heat rising in his cheeks. “You are my heart,” he mumbled against him. “There is little I wouldn’t do for you, my love. This..” he smiled as he placed a quick kiss to his cheek. “This fills me with joy. I would be honored to have you by my side, now and for as long as you please. I know I am not an easy man to love, I am….stubborn.” He knew he was putting it lightly. It wasn’t a secret that Hanzo was naturally domineering from his upbringing, and often had troubles expressing his emotions. Yet he promised to himself that he would work on it, that he would make himself open up to Jesse. He wanted to more than anything.

“Please,” Jesse moved a hand to pinch his side playfully. “You are strong-willed, handsome as hell, and witty as the devil. Loving you is one of the easiest things I’ve ever done.” McCree tilted his head, deepening the kiss with lidded eyes.

Hanzo sighed contently against his lips, his hands moving to wrap around his neck before he felt Jesse’s muscles tense. “Jesse?” he asked, breaking from the kiss with some concern.

“Oh, it’s nothing babe. I think falling off the horse might’ve hurt my back is all,” he admitted wincing a bit. “B-but it’s nothing. We should go back to kissing. Definitely more kissing.” he offered though Hanzo chuckled. 

“You need rest, my love.” He murmured against his cheek. “We will have plenty of time to kiss during our lifetime.”

“I need  _ you _ ,” Jesse whined, snaking an arm around his waist. “I know we have time, but I wanna kiss you now. You would understand if ya could see yourself, drop dead gorgeous. Who can resist lips as perfect as yours?” He waggled his eyebrows only causing Hanzo to laugh more.

“You ridiculous man,” he sat up, letting go of his hand reluctantly. “I’m going to shower and then I’ll go to bed, it’s getting late and we will have to leave early. Genji is not a patient boy.”

Jesse sighed, resting his hand on his cheek with a pout. “I’m guessing I’m not invited to the shower?”

Hanzo perked an eyebrow at him. “I do not think getting up for the rest of the night is advisable. Dragons are not a small ordeal, I wouldn’t be surprised if you passed out again cowboy.” He turned from him, feeling his face flush. “Otherwise, I would not see why you couldn’t join me.”

“Damn,” he huffed, leaning back on the pillow. Hanzo knew he’d probably fall back asleep soon, given that the bed was the most comfortable thing they’ve seen in Texas, and not to mention the exhausting achievement of almost dying several times in a day. “But...but you’ll come to bed right? No sleeping on the floor?” He watched him intently, waiting for Hanzo to answer him.

“No sleeping on the floor.” Hanzo leaned down to peck his lips lightly. “I will be coming to bed after my shower, my love. So don’t hog all the covers.”

“I make no promises,” Jesse joked, his smile contagious as he stole another kiss before Hanzo moved to leave the room.

He gave him one last look watching him settle comfortably before heading into the bathroom, starting the shower. Hanzo felt light, as if a huge weight on his shoulders had been lifted. He was uncertain of how they would manage rescuing Genji and embarking as runaways together, but he wasn’t discouraged. For the first time in his life, he was free, something he had always believed to be impossible. That in the midst of chaos and dirt he had found hope in Texas, something he would never have believed. 

Hanzo wore a small smile as he showered, knowing that the man he loved was resting and only a room away. With the voice of doubt silenced, he convinced himself that everything was going to be okay for once. That with Jesse by his side, he could accomplish more than he could imagine. That he could be more. That he could be good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So we're coming close to the end of the first part of this series and I'm excited! School is coming up soon so I might take a hiatus but I'll do my best to upload as much as I'm able to. Thanks again for all of the support you guys really are the reason I keep writing! 
> 
> If you need to hmu for any reason I'm on twitter @draconic_fly and tumblr @draconicfly


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so if you aren't about smut, this is NOT the chapter for you! skip to the notes at the end for a synopsis of the chapter! if not, then heyo get ready for some of my attempts at smut, I apologize since it's difficult for me to write but i wanna get better! again thanks for all the support, i edit everything myself so all mistakes are my own!

Jesse woke up first, a cold sweat that covered his brow burning the edges of his eyes. Waking up early was something conditioned into him, an aspect that he hated he could never shake but had to admit that it did help not needing an alarm clock. McCree figured it was sometime around five maybe earlier, but found that he couldn’t reach to check his phone with his arm trapped. 

Hanzo was curled against his side, his head resting neatly against his shoulder. The air got caught in his lungs as he watched him, his sides rising and lowering in rhythm with his quiet breaths. Hanzo was unearthly, so beautiful that Jesse forgot how to breath with him so close, so warm. 

McCree couldn’t help but grin at him, still surprised it wasn’t all a dream, that the only good thing to come out of yesterday was all but an illusion cruelly sent to him to give a taste of hope. Yet it  _ was _ real, it had all been real. Before him the love of his life was sleeping soundly, his arm draped over Jesse’s waist. He must’ve passed out while he was in shower, for he didn’t remember when Hanzo had snuggled against him during the night though he wish he did. Jesse figured he should try to wake him so they could start their journey, but it felt like it’d be a crime to stir him. Hanzo was gorgeous, anyone could see that, but the faint light that came before the sunrise glowed against his skin so perfectly, so right. His eyelashes were long and dark, shadowing his high cheeks and sharp features. He loved him, and Hanzo loved him back, a blessing he still couldn’t wrap his mind around. Moving his arm around his back, Jesse laid his head back down thinking he could die here and die the happiest he had ever been. 

Then there it was, the persistent nagging that resided in the back of his mind that followed him endlessly.  _ What now? If you survive this then what?  _ He tried to hush his conscience away, but anxiety was a mistress who wouldn’t be ignored. Jesse chewed the inside of his cheek as he eyes floated towards the ceiling, lightly rubbing his lover’s back.

He knew he wanted to stay with him, and in a way he had already sealed his fate by running off. The question with Blackwatch was would they take him back, and if yes would they ever trust him again. Reyes had obviously believed in second chances, but what was his opinion on third ones? Shaking his head, he chased off any doubt or fear that he could manage. He was with Hanzo, and as far as he was concerned this is what he wanted, what he needed. They would save his brother and together as the three of them they would find their own way, carve their own path. They would figure out how to survive, running off and stowing away as he had done before and as he knew the brothers had. It’d be like the old films, where a small band of vagabonds would go against the odds and manage to come out on top. He wasn’t sure what skills they collectively had that would be good for legal jobs, but he was sure they’d find a way. With how Hanzo felt in his arms pressed against him, he knew he’d have to. God himself could not rip him from his love’s side. 

Yet there was a spot of fear that laid in his chest that Jesse couldn’t shake. The last few days felt more like a haze than real life, almost like a nightmare. The thought of the dragons made him shiver, their beauty and power was overwhelming along with their terror. He knew he’d never forget them, it would be impossible to not remember the electricity that shot up his veins as they passed, that somehow they deemed him worthy not to die by their will. Watching Hanzo’s eyes start to open, he has a small idea of why.

“Good mornin’ there sweetpea,” Jesse said softly as went to run a hand through his hair, admiring the inky blackness of it. Whatever shampoo the Sheriff had kept was nice, as his hair was silkier than usual. He wondered how it must’ve felt before he had went on the run, back when he lived like a prince.

“Hm?” Hanzo looked up at him, his face oddly serene from sleepiness. “What time is it?”

McCree pressed a kiss on his head before reaching over to the nightstand for his phone. “It’s...wow it’s actually about two thirty.” Jesse squinted his eyes outside, how it seemed to be much lighter than the time suggested. “Guess we could get rollin’ early and make it down to Palo Duro or….” He trailed off losing track of his words as Hanzo curled closer, placing a kiss to his chin.

“Or?” Hanzo asked, raising an eyebrow. He rested his strong jaw against Jesse’s chest, the faint hairs that started to grow on his face tickling his skin. He would never tell Hanzo to his face, but Jesse thought he’d sport some facial hair quite well. 

He knew they should get going, but honestly Jesse was hesitant to leave bed. They could die today, they had nearly done so multiple times only the day prior. He was a young man, and there definitely were a few things he wanted to cross off his bucket list before he went to meet his maker. 

“I was just thinking...maybe we’d take the extra time to...y’know..” Jesse felt utterly unsmooth, his face turning a bright red. “I mean we could  _ die _ today and I’ve never…”

It took a moment for Hanzo to realize what he was asking, a pink glow spreading across his cheeks. “...Oh.” He chuckled, rich and dark, giving a light slap to McCree’s chest. “You are so dramatic Jesse.” He lifted his chin for a deeper kiss, tilting his head to the side. “I’ve never as well, but I know there’s...things needed.” Hanzo sat up suddenly out of McCree’s reach as he went into the bathroom. “Go find them. I want to brush my teeth first, you should as well,” Hanzo shook his head amusedly, “A smoker’s morning breath is not the most desirable thing.”

A fire ran through Jesse as he shot up, a bit in disbelief that this was happening. He searched the drawers around for anything that could work as lube and prayed for a condom but the way the Sheriff lived his life he was only really able to find lotion. “We’ve come into a problem honey,” he called at the bathroom. “I don’t have a rubber.”

His breath got caught in his throat as Hanzo left the bathroom, his hair down as he only donned his underwear. Lord knew he was blushing, but the pink on Hanzo’s cheeks made him forget the world around them. 

“Well...I’ve never been with anyone else so I’m clean,” he almost seemed embarrassed, his eyes dusting the floor. “How many have you...been with?” His gaze narrowed in a way that Jesse felt that he was mad at him or even jealous. 

“I mean I’ve messed around with a few guys, but I’ve never actually gone all the way with anyone.” He felt helpless but to stare at Hanzo, his eyes wandering his body very obviously. “So..I mean..it should be okay but it’ll be messy.”

Hanzo smiled at that, nodding his head. “Come here,” he motioned for him with his hand.

“I haven’t brushed my teeth,” Jesse teased, crossing his arms across his chest. 

Hanzo was the one to close the distance between them, lips crashing into each other as he pulled at the ends of Jesse’s shirt. “I don’t care,” he growled, Jesse unable to respond from breathlessness. “I want you. I want you,  _ now _ .”

He let Hanzo undress him, his hands deft to quickly get him back onto the bed. “I-I found some lotion.” Jesse managed to get out before a moan escaped his mouth as Hanzo kissed his neck viciously. 

“Mhm,” Hanzo hummed against his skin, looking down at him as placed himself between Jesse’s legs. This wasn’t where he was expecting the positions to be, but he found himself relaxing into his touch. “Is..is this okay?” Hanzo asked as cupped Jesse’s face, his thumb trailing his jawline. 

Jesse nodded, leaning into his hand. “Just..take care of me okay? I’ll return the favor next time,” he flashed a grin and a wink that only seemed to fluster Hanzo moreso before he hungrily claimed another kiss, all teeth and tongue. 

“I promise,” Hanzo muttered against his skin, his arousal rubbing against Jesse’s thigh. “I would never hurt you Jesse. You have no idea what lengths I would go to, to keep you safe.” Jesse felt secure with Hanzo’s weight above him, his dark eyes watching him possessively. McCree swallowed audibly, finding himself wanting to be his, to be marked.

“Then show me,” Jesse whispered against him, his hand moving to touch his pecs with a squeeze. Hanzo let out a small squeak, which only made Jesse giggle before Hanzo attacked his neck with his lips, trailing to his chest, to his stomach, to his thighs. He left a trail of marks and lovebites which had Jesse moaning quietly. “Sweetheart,” he gasped, Hanzo teasing his length with the tip of his tongue. “Y-you don’t have to--,  _ oh, _ ” his head reeled back as Hanzo took him with his mouth, a little unsure what to do but Jesse couldn’t care less nor notice. He instinctively bucked up, feeling a little apologetic as Hanzo gagged, grabbing his hip down. “S-sorry, there darlin--I--,” he lost his train of thought as Hanzo licked down the side, laughing at McCree’s state of wordlessness. 

“You talk too much,” he grunted as he withdrew with a wet ‘pop’, the redness of his lips driving McCree mad. “I was trying to shut you up.”

“Well I have an idea of how ya can do that,” Jesse smirked up at him, glancing at the lotion. There was a pool of apprehension swimming in his gut, but his arousal outmatched it by a long shot. Hanzo gave him a short nod, pressing another kiss with a bit of a bite on his neck before reaching over to take a few pumps of lotion.

“This...is probably going to feel weird. Tell me if it hurts too much,” he muttered in his raspy voice, Jesse already missing the contact of his skin on his own. 

“Promises, promises,” Jesse teased though he felt himself tense as a finger reached below his legs. The intrusion felt odd, as Hanzo slid his finger deeper it definitely hurt. He let out a small grunt of discomfort, Hanzo pausing with his brows furrowed. 

“Are you okay?” He could feel Hanzo’s gaze burn down on him, the pressure against his thigh twitching as he let out a breathy moan. 

“Y-yeah. You can add another,” he shut his eyes as he let out another moan, Hanzo stretching him out slowly as he felt his fingers move within him.

“You are so beautiful,” he heard Hanzo whisper next to his ear, peppering a few kisses down his neck. “I love you, anata.”

Jesse couldn’t control a shudder down his spine, letting out a small laugh at how his breathing tickled his neck. He wasn’t sure what the pet name meant, but the way he said it only made butterflies dance in his stomach. “I love you, too.” Jesse opened his eyes to see Hanzo watching him with a heavily lidded gaze, his swollen lips a gorgeous red. Leaning upward, he found himself sighing into a deep kiss, gently biting at Hanzo’s lower lip not eager to let him go. He met his gaze, the air caught in his lungs as Hanzo removed his fingers.

“Okay,” Hanzo muttered, rubbing more lotion onto his length watching Jesse carefully for confirmation. 

“Okay,” he nodded, wrapping his legs around Hanzo’s waist, his back at a somewhat awkward angle. However Jesse couldn’t think of anything else than the heat between their bodies, the aching want spreading from his gut to his chest. Moving his arms around ish shoulders, he let out a sharp gasp when Hanzo began to press inside, finding himself to be filled in too fast, the burning too intense.

Hanzo stopped, leaning down to kiss his eyelids. “Are you okay? Jesse, anata?” His raspy voice shuddered as Jesse pressed his hips forward, biting the inside of his cheek to try to adjust to the pressure. 

“Yeah, please, baby  _ move.” _ Jesse groaned as Hanzo began to twitch his hips, moving in a slow rhythmic fashion. “Oh sweet lord almighty,” he babbled on as Hanzo increased the pace grunting on top of him. Jesse leaned his head back, mouth agape as he found the burn to be increasingly pleasurable, clinging onto Hanzo helplessly. 

Hanzo growled in approval, hitching one of Jesse’s legs higher to get a better angle as he thrusted his hips down. Jesse let out a howl as he knew he hit the right spot, feeling an explosion of pleasure as the bed creaked from the weight of the two, the room filled with the sound of skin slapping on skin alongside with their grunts. Hanzo took it as encouragement as he honed down on him, making Jesse’s eyes water from the overstimulation. With a yelp, Jesse scratched lines down Hanzo’s back riding out the experience as close as he could get their bodies together.

“Jesse--I’m--I’m going to--,” Hanzo managed to say between groans, his air of authority nearly breaking as he movements became sloppier, more desperate. McCree squeezed his legs around him, keeping him there knowing what he was implying.

“Stay,” Jesse managed to whimper out, his nails digging into inked skin. Hanzo came with a loud cry, pumping his hips helplessly into Jesse as he rode out his orgasm leaving him spent as Jesse approached his own end. He let go of his shoulder, beginning to stroke himself haphazardly until he came with low groan, spilling all over his stomach. 

They both stood still for a moment, only their heavy breathing filling the air with the smell of sweat and sex mingling about. Hanzo rested his head on his shoulder as Jesse unwrapped his legs, letting him pull out with a rather unorthodox sound.  

“Holy fuck,” he managed to say as he calmed his breathes, letting Hanzo play with his hair. “You sure you’ve never done this before?” Hanzo chuckled at that, pressing a kiss to his forehead.

“I have..done my share of reading. I am not a man without desires,” he shuffled himself to lay down next to Jesse, stroking his side lazily. “You’re not hurt, are you?” He looked at him with concern, his touches soothing and gentle.

“I mean, I’m figuring I’m gonna be fucking sore, but it’s worth it.” Jesse reached for his hand, watching Hanzo’s chest go up and down as he calmed himself. He knew he was going to be sticky if he didn’t go and wash off just yet, but he had to take a moment. He had never felt this close to a man before, never let someone so close. Hanzo’s hand squeezed his before letting it wander possessively over his body, admiring the dark marks he left near his neck. “I love you so fucking much, it scares me sometimes.” Jesse said absentmindedly, feeling revered by Hanzo’s attention.

He appeared off guard at the statement, managing a subtle blush before butting his head on Jesse’s shoulder. “You are my heart,” he stated simply. “The one love of my life...it also scares me.” He looked up, moving a sweaty mess of hair out of Jesse’s face tenderly. “But it also makes me want to live.”

Jesse let out a small laugh as Hanzo crowded his space for another kiss, his lips warm and chapped but heavenly all the same. “I need to shower since y’know,” Jesse teased as Hanzo went red once more. 

“You wanted me to...right?” He seemed genuinely concerned which only made Jesse let out another airy chuckle, loving how bashful Hanzo could get.

“Yeah, I mean...it felt nice. Messy, but nice.” Jesse sat up and attempted to walk though the soreness in his back wasn’t to be ignored. He let out a small groan, rubbing his back as Hanzo stood up beside him. He snaked an arm around Jesse’s waist, helping him up towards the bathroom wearing a smirk.

“What’s so funny, Shimada?” Jesse rose an eyebrow adoring how he had such a cocky demeanor. “Ya actually fucked me so hard I can’t walk straight,” he let out another chuckle as Hanzo embarrassedly shoved his shoulder as he walked him into the shower, his smile more hidden.

“Don’t be so crude,” he said bashfully, his eyes still full of mischief. He turned on the water, the hot spray welcoming to Jesse’s body. “I’m going to find the car keys, you clean up cowboy.” With a final kiss, Hanzo was gone leaving Jesse alone for a moment.

He groaned as he washed himself down, still trying to wrap his head around what had gone down these last few days. First they were hot then they spiralled out cold and now he just had fucked the guy. He looked down at his stomach, blushing as he wiped the remnants off. Perhaps ‘fucked’ was too harsh of a word, Hanzo would probably like the phrase ‘made love’. Jesse felt lucky, that the man he fell in love with was Hanzo. Someone as cold and deadly as a highly trained assassin, but at the same time was sweet and caring.  _ He loves me. _ He felt his cheeks warm up the more he thought about him, how Jesse in all his life never envisioned himself to be madly in love.The unyielding pattering in his chest told him two things. One, that the water was too hot, that his skin was scalding and that he hadn’t noticed, but two, he wasn’t lying when he said he was afraid. Jesse McCree was a man of action, of light allegiances and quick to flight at signs of a messy conclusions. He had tried to change for Blackwatch, for Reyes, yet even now he knew he was disappointing him by running off, by throwing away that second chance. He shook his head while clenching his fist, wishing he could silence his brain.

It wasn’t fair. Fuck, most of his life wasn’t fair, it wasn’t something that surprised him or that he didn’t expect yet he couldn’t help but feel slighted. Jesse wanted Hanzo, wanted to be with him, to be in love with him. It was all so tangible, right in the palm of his hand, yet he feared it would be ripped from him as everything else in his life had been. That he would have to run away again, that he would have to swallow the blue pill or ignorance to be able to live with himself. He was close. So fucking close to achieving his happiness, to something no one believed he could obtain. All they needed to do was save his friend. To save Genji.

After sometime he shut the water off, grabbing a towel that Hanzo had to have left out for him. He smiled down at the gesture, the fluttering in his chest catching his breath. “Such a sweetheart,” he mumbled to himself as he wrapped it around his waist, leaning against the doorway to watch Hanzo scavenge the bedroom. “Whatcha up to there, good lookin’?” He crossed his arms, hoping to pull some sort of seduction from his entrance. 

Hanzo hummed happily at him, closing a duffle bag before going over to him, holding him loosely. “Stealing. Taking anything we may find useful since we should leave directly from here.” He placed a chaste kiss on his lips before continuing his packing. “We should have a short breakfast then go. Genji is waiting.”

“Yes he is,” Jesse went over to dress, though he couldn’t find his clothes other than his boxers. “Hey, babe where are the rest of my clothes?” He asked amusedly, as Hanzo offered him some of the Sheriff’s. 

“They are dirty and torn,” Hanzo placed a white shirt and a pair of jeans on the bed before him. “I’m sure they’ll be big, but it’ll be clean. You deserve as much.” He watched Jesse intently until he rose his hands up in defeat.

“If you say so, who am I to question my baby’s word?” McCree winked at him playfully as he let the towel drop before starting to dress.

A faint pink went into Hanzo’s cheeks.“You tease,” He mumbled to himself as he walked out towards the kitchen.

“You know ya love it,” Jesse called out as he finished dressing, needing to tighten the belt up to keep the jeans from falling. It wasn’t the most flattering of clothing, but he still had his boots and found a nice plaid shirt to put over it so that he didn’t feel totally foolish. With a soft grin he went over to follow Hanzo, hearing him huff at the coffee maker. 

“What’s up, Han?” Jesse asked as he pulled out a few mugs. Hanzo’s expression lightened as he made eye contact with McCree, taking one to pour some coffee. 

He moved over to kiss Jesse’s cheek, holding him by the small of his back. “Nothing. Everything is fine, or at the very least will be.” He ran his hand over him, squeezing his side. “How long do you think you’ll be walking funny, love?” He said slyly. 

McCree snorted, enjoying how affectionate he was being. “Reckon the long drive won’t help, but hey no pain no gain.” Jesse scrunched up his nose at him, taking the mug for himself playfully. “But I’ll be fine. You really are such a sweet thing.” He took a long sip, craving a cigarette but not sure how many he had left. Wrapping his arm around Hanzo’s he leaned down, resting his forehead against his. “We got this. With your aim and my good looks there’s nothing the world can throw our way to stop us.”

Hanzo giggled, closing his eyes. Jesse would always be astounded by how long and thick his eyelashes were. “Alright then, cowboy. I believe you. Now eat your cereal and let’s get going.” 

Breakfast was quick, both of them eager to see what Palo Duro had in store for them. Apprehension ate at Jesse, his chest tight with the knowledge of how high the stakes were now. He had allowed Hanzo to get close to him, closer than any other person had been. He couldn’t lose him, couldn’t lose  _ this. _ His dark eyes that watched him so sweetly, his low raspy voice that whispered all the words he craved to hear, his warm calloused hands that touched him and that made him feel alive. He didn’t want life to go back to how it was before, before the quick kisses that tasted like coffee and cigarette smoke, before the warm sighs and perfection of Hanzo’s hand in his. No, he wouldn’t give this up, Jesse decided he would do anything to keep these things, to keep his lover by his side. With a final squeeze from Hanzo’s hand they were on their way into the lion’s den, unsure of their future but hopeful. God he was hopeful.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> synopsis: they wake up early and end up sleeping together if u catch my drift and finally make their way to Palo Duro for where the finale of the fic will take place!   
> So excited and amazed that there's only 3 more chapters til the next part of the series! I hope you are all enjoying it and thanks again for reading! I mean it, ya'll the reason I write
> 
> if u need to reach me for any reason im on tumblr @draconicfly and twitter @draconic_fly


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ALRIGHT, I apologize for the hiatus but life happens! School and work totally ate up all my time and energy but here is the next chapter, thank you all for the support and patience with this series!  
> i edit everything myself so all mistakes are my own

Palo Duro was beautiful. The walls of the canyon were layered, interlacing with  different colors of rock, the striations blending together harmoniously. Hanzo was used to expansions of green from forests or the lights and hum of city streets. Texas was an entirely different experience, the dry dust and cracked earth coating him in grime yet he was still captivated by the ruggedness of the Southwest. Looking over at McCree, he saw him pulling out a few more rounds of bullets into his pocket from the car.

“Do you need a hand?” Hanzo asked, tilting his head to get a better view of whatever Jesse was doing. The cowboy waved him away, shutting the door with a thud before jogging over beside him.

“Nah, just loading up on these boys.” He patted by his belt with a half smile, a few cylinders of an unknown substance hooked to him. “Never can be too prepared when we’re storming some asshole’s evil lair.” He nudged Hanzo playfully with his elbow, trying to get him to crack a smile.

Hanzo squinted his eyes at them, giving his belt a tug to pull him closer. “What are they?” Jesse already had a cigarette in his mouth, the smell of smoke overwhelming. It was a pity really, Hanzo was excited for the clean scent that came after a shower but Jesse did have an alluring odor that was personalized to just  _ Jesse. _ He moved onto his tiptoes, pressing a chaste kiss to his cheek.

McCree grinned at the affection, taking a drag before removing one off his belt loop. “Well, ya see darlin these are my own special homebrew. Call ‘em flashbangs. Just throw them at a man, and he’ll stop in his tracks for a good second.” He gestured to his six shooter on his hip, tapping his holster. “And that’s all I need to stop them for good.”

“‘Flashbang, huh? Sounds peculiar, a non lethal grenade.” Hanzo hummed, letting him go to start towards the caverns they parked nearby. The map on the thumb drive had indicated that this was one of the entrances, and to Hanzo it was their best bet to get inside undetected. The strategist in him begged for stealth, wanting nothing more to sneak in and to sneak out. That the plan to get Genji could be done quietly, professionally. No sounds of gunfire, or sword strikes was needed to flood the air, that he could lead them in and out without a trace. Yet the dragons that danced beneath his skin demanded reparations, demanded blood. That this was a place where a lesson should be learned, that one did not steal from the dragon and expect to live. His knuckles turned white as he tightened his fist unintentionally, his blood beginning to boil. He wanted to leave a message, one of vengeance, one of power.

“Honeybee?” A low but sweet drawl snapped him out of his inner thoughts. Jesse went to hold his hand, Hanzo’s fist melting to grasp his. “I know ya must be stressed with more than a million things going through that pretty head of yours, but I promise it’s gonna be alright.” He gave him a comforting squeeze, that damned half smile thawing Hanzo’s heart. “I ain’t ever gonna let anything happen to you.”

“I will endeavor to do the same,” Hanzo responded, returning the smile. He was glad McCree was with him, his presence grounded him, brought him back to the reality of the situation. “My worries mostly lie with Genji. Who knows what they’ve done to him…” he grimaced how he had let him down, that his baby brother had been alone and afraid for this long. 

“Don’t think of it that way honey,” Jesse squinted his eyes as he looked around before pulling them closer towards the side entrance. “We’ll have some fucking wild stories to tell him, I’m sure he’ll love it.” 

No one was guarding the outside, though there was several cameras. Hanzo pulled out his bow, drawing back an arrow. “Yes, I’m sure he’ll be thrilled to hear how we yelled at each other several times before a series of dangerous close calls.” With a few well aimed strikes, the cameras were taken out one by one. He hoped it would be awhile before Talon noticed that they were missing footage, but then again speed was key. 

“I’m sure he’ll think it’ll be awesome how I got my Deadeye,” Jesse whispered as he unholstered Peacekeeper, walking over to the door cautiously. Of course it was locked, though the cowboy didn’t look too concerned with it. 

“You call it Deadeye?” The skin around McCree’s eye was still red, though the swelling for the most part was gone. Hanzo mused that the name fit, though he didn’t like the way he was eyeing the door. “You know a way to open it?”

McCree very suddenly shot at the electric lock, a few sparks flying around before the door slid to the side. “Cheap locks,” he grinned seemingly impressed with himself. He motioned for Hanzo to follow as they pressed in deeper.

“We’re lucky no one heard that,” Hanzo grumbled, his eyes darting from wall to wall assessing every hallway they weaved through. He had gone over the map of the interior of the base several times, but anxiety couldn’t help but eat away at him. 

Paranoia was what kept him alive, it was what kept him sharp. Pulling out an arrow and managing to quick shot of one of the approaching men around the corner was why he always uptight, why he was always training to be one step ahead. 

The cocky smirk on his face soon melted away as he realized who was before them, a group of perhaps five men, one of them wearing black rimmed with gold. Hanzo felt his heart drop a beat. It was him. 

“Hey there,” the golden man grinned, a flash of gold. “Fancy seeing y’all here. Don’t imagine you should be.”

It didn’t take long for Jesse to step between them, holding his arm protectively over Hanzo. “You know exactly why we’re here, so I’m gonna make myself real clear. Give us what we want and we’ll be on our merry way or else someone might get hurt.” His voice went low, dangerous. “Real hurt.”

One of the henchmen rose a gun though the golden man waved him off. “Now, let’s wait a moment, I’m interested to hear what the runt got to say. I know ya both here for his brother, but you gotta understand that our employer is paying a pretty penny for that boy.” He offered him a shrug. “I don’t want anyone to get ‘real hurt’, so do us a favor boy and put the gun down and I promise ya a quick death. We’ll box up and send the other brother along so no shooting that one.” Another flash of gold before he rose his gun, giving Hanzo only a moment to pull his blade out and deflect the bullet, hitting the man to his right with it. 

“Jesse!” He managed to yell as the cowboy pulled him behind a few crates in the storage room they were in. “So much for doing this quietly…” Hanzo hissed, his eyes wide as he looked over McCree relieved to see him unharmed. 

“I got this,” he grunted, peering over the crates and taking a shot. It was followed by a sharp yelp of man, before returning gunfire. “You go down the east wing and get Genji, I’ll meet ya out there. I got this.” He stared at Hanzo who was shaking his head, mouthing ‘no’.

“They outnumber you Jesse I --” Hanzo was suddenly cut off with a deep kiss, Jesse’s lips tender and desperate. He could taste smoke and honey as it was ended too quickly, always too quickly, McCree gazing at him with pleading eyes. 

“Get your brother, I will meet you outside.” He reaffirmed, watching him for permission.

With a sigh, he nodded in agreement. “I will meet you outside.” He repeated as he  pressed a quick peck on the cheek, following behind cover to the other hallway out of the room. “I love you,” Hanzo turned his head, his heart aching for him to stay. He knew Jesse was being practical and he needed to find Genji as quickly as possible before more people learned of their presence.   

He saw the cowboy smile at him, despite the gunfire he felt safe for a moment. “I love you more,” he read his lips before turning to go down another corridor. Hanzo went as quickly and quietly as he could, praying to whatever deity to keep McCree safe.

“I love you most…” he muttered to himself as he unsheathed the sword, turning the corner in hard alert. He was Hanzo Shimada, heir to everything wondrous and terrible, and never in his life had he felt such fear. Fear for his love, fear for his brother, yet as the lights went off when he stepped into the next room he felt no fear for himself. 

He shut his eyes, listening for the faintest of footsteps, surprised with how quiet they were. It was a stark difference from the men in the other room, all noise with guns ablazing. Hanzo held his breath for a moment, his knuckles going white as his grip tightened. ‘ _ Become more than your eyes.’  _ His father’s voice was a whisper in his mind. ‘ _ Use sound. Scent. Know your enemy before ever lying eyes upon them. You many never get that chance.’  _ He leaned back, barely avoiding a knife as he swung the blade forward, the sound of metal on flesh singing to him. A yelp was followed with a short lived scream as he stabbed down, moving to the left as two blades clashed together, his movements fluid and instinctive. There was a gasp, a heistation with his opponent though Hanzo took it as a chance to get the upper hand. With a quick flick of his wrist he was able to disarm the figure in the dark. He was blinded for a moment when the lights abruptly turned on as he placed the sword to his opponents neck. 

“Wait!” The man rose his hands up. “It’s him, it’s the elder son!” Hanzo’s eyes opened with a start, darting around the room to discover that six other men were present. They all were dressed the same, in dark layers of clothing that were all too familiar to him. These weren’t American cowboys, in any aspect.

“No,” he muttered quietly, lowering his blade with a troubled expression. “No, it can’t be…”

One of the masked men stepped forward, bowing slightly. “We are going to take you now, with or without a fight. But..” he looked down at the man bleeding out on the floor. “We would rather not have more bloodshed. It is only talk, I promise you.”

It didn’t stop his fear, the ache in his gut that screamed for him to run back to seek out Jesse to protect him. He glanced back to the door before thinking of the small boy with scared eyes, desperately wanting a big brother. Green hair with red eyes, he clenched his fist reminding himself of why they were here, why he was here.

“Where is Genji? I do not want to talk, I want my brother and to leave. Unharmed.” He pressed his blade to the man’s neck, narrowing his gaze at the others.

“That… that is understandable.” The masked man sighed. “We are willing to take you to him, but we ask for no more death.” He dropped his own sword as a show of good faith, though Hanzo still didn’t trust him.

The dragons demanded to kill him, to kill all the men in the room and continue. But that wasn’t the point, he wasn’t here for himself he was here for Genji, for McCree. As much as he didn’t like it, his body surrendered to the request. With a faint growl, he let his hostage go, sheathing his sword. He nodded numbly, following the remaining men through the east wing his hand still tight around the hilt of Genji’s blade. 

The walk to the office was a bit of a blur, the need to see his brother clouding his better judgement. Adrenaline pumped through his veins, his fight or flight response being resisted for either. Hanzo could feel himself shake faintly, knowing these men were from Hanamura, from his home. He needed to see who was leading them here, who was in charge. He needed to know who found them. 

“We brought him to you. Unharmed, and only one casualty.” One of the men spoke, though the figure only waved him away. 

The room was small and dark, a man turned away from Hanzo was drinking from the smell of it. The masked men left silently, leaving them alone for an awkward while Hanzo staring a hole into the back of his head. He couldn’t help but see the glaring lack of Genji in the room, his throat feeling dry.

He cleared his throat, anger beginning to boil over his fears. “I am Shimada Hanzo, heir and first son to the Shimada Clan, the dragon of Hanamura, though I suspect you know that.” Hanzo narrowed his eyes at the tall figure, feeling slighted that he hadn’t turned to face him. “I have killed your men, bypassed your defenses, and defy you openly. You will give me back my brother, who is rightfully mine to protect and who has the right to decide his own fate.” His heart was beating quickly in his chest, the sound almost deafening. The man merely took another sip, his silence only making it worse. “I do not fear you.” He said sharply, squeezing his hand into a fist though part of him wondered if it was fully true.

“Hanzo,” his voice was as low and cruel as he remembered. He wanted to cry, to curl up into a ball and have it all end but he knew who the man was before he walked into that room. Oh, how Hanzo tried to deny it, to will it into a different reality, a different situation. How he wished it was any other man than him.

“Father.” He replied, swallowing slowly as the older Shimada turned to face him. He had not believed Sojiro would have shown up, that he would take time off from running his empire to hunt his sons down. Hanzo bit his lip knowing he should’ve known better, that if this man was capable of love it was only for continuing his legacy. “Where is Genji? Where is my brother?” He shouted, unable to control his volume as he pointed his sword at him. 

Sojiro seemed unimpressed, setting down his drink. Disappointment was written all over his face mixed with a general disgust, Hanzo nearly feeling ashamed. “Genji is home, Hanzo. With your mother.” His dark eyes narrowed at him, Hanzo planting his feet down into a wider stance. “She was worried sick,  _ is _ worried sick about you. It was a very, very foolish thing for you to run off, but to take your little brother? You broke her heart, Hanzo.” His hissed condescendingly. 

Hanzo’s eyes widened in disbelief, his breath caught in his lungs for a moment. “No,” he said quietly at first. He couldn’t have been too late, too slow. He couldn’t have failed, couldn’t have failed Genji. “No!” He yelled at him as he tossed the sword at him, Sojiro only stepping to the side with a mildly annoyed expression. He couldn’t have brought Jesse all this way to possibly die for nothing. He couldn't have. “You’re lying! You’re always lying!” He shouted, tears starting to go down his cheeks as he couldn’t contain his emotions. “You are a liar, now tell me where he is! Where my baby brother is!” His voice cracked at the end, tears threatening to blind him.

“Drop the bow now, Hanzo.” Sojiro said in the same collected voice he always had. “We will discuss the consequences of your...disobedience once we return to Hanamura. Save yourself from further shame.” He looked revolted at Hanzo before he turned around for a moment to pick up the drink.

Without a second thought Hanzo pulled an arrow back and shot at his father, his heart nearly leaping out of his chest when he realized what he did. Sojiro turned around in almost a blur, deflecting the arrow to the side with a knife hidden in his sleeve. It grazed Hanzo’s hand, prompting him to drop the bow with a hiss of pain.

“No!” Hanzo screamed as the six men came back into the room, immediately grabbing him as he tried to rush his father. “No! Let Genji go! You know what you did to him, you monster!” He snarled and spat at him as Sojirio approached a dark look to his gaze. “You know what you’ve done to  _ me _ .”

“That is enough,” he said lowly before one of the men struck a nerve in his neck, the world becoming too dark too quickly.

“That takes care of that but what of the American?….” he heard a voice ask as he desperately clawed at his father’s leg as he fell to his knees.

Sojiro merely brushed him off as he walked towards the door, his footsteps like thunder. “I’m taking him home. Kill the American and clean this situation up. I don’t want word of this getting out.”

_ Jesse. _ His mind screamed as it fell into a pool of black, imagining the cowboy’s lips mouthing ‘I love you more’.  _ Most. I love you most. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alrighty, I do plan on uploading the last two chapters together, and sometime this week! I'm so excited to finish this fic to work on the second part as well as other projects. i again am so thankful for all the support/kudos/comments yall leave, it motivates me to write and i will finish this, this week or god help me...  
> this doesn't exactly have a happy ending folks, but i hope it's a good one
> 
> also I'll be at magfest later this week so by uploading this week, im talking bout tomorrow or wednesday
> 
> if u need to reach me for any reason im on tumblr @draconicfly and twitter @draconic_fly


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here we go! Really chapter 20 and 21 could be one chapter but it changes pov so i split them. i'll have some final notes in the next chapter but enjoy!  
> I edit everything myself so all mistakes are my own!

“You’re a good shot kid,” he grinned, his gold teeth in view before McCree had to duck to avoid another bullet. “But not nearly good enough.”

Jesse gritted his teeth, glancing back towards the hallway Hanzo had disappeared into. This gunfight was lasting too long, and not in his favor. Patting his belt, he felt that he didn’t nearly have enough rounds to kill every last man in the room, let alone getting him to Hanzo. He sighed heavily, knowing he’d have to improvise but he made a promise and planned to keep it. He had to see Hanzo again. 

“Yeah?” He yelled out as he pulled a flashbang messing with the top. It was one of his last canisters he had, his chances of getting out of this alive hinging on it working. “I don’t know, I feel like I might be good enough.” He couldn’t help but snip back, knowing that the golden bastard had a problem with banter. He always wanted the last word, as if he had something he needed to prove, that he had to exert power in every action he took. Jesse didn’t mind all that much, it was something he could exploit for time, a commodity that he was in desperate need of. 

The sound of gunfire stopped for a moment as the golden man raised his hand, the room nearly going silent. “Look, I gave ya a chance to go. This is business and ya ain’t a Shimada. You’re just a dumb kid who is in the wrong place in the wrong time.” He cocked his gun as he started walking towards the crate Jesse was crouched behind, his grip on the flashbang tightening. “So I just wanted ya to know, it ain’t personal. Maybe in different circumstances I could see someone like ya working for me.” He said mockingly, riding whatever power trip he was experiencing. “But you won’t. You will die and I will go fetch that brat and ship him away.”

Anger flared inside McCree, images of Hanzo looking so blankly and troubled the night in the motel flashed through his mind. He knew he did this to him, and for that alone Jesse swore to make him pay. “Maybe I would’ve worked for you.” He hissed, peeking over as he saw him approach. “Maybe I could’ve grown up to be a real gaudy asshole like ya, decking everything in gold and blood. But I’m gonna make this one thing real clear, you’re never, ever, gonna lay a finger on Hanzo again.” His voice deepened into a growl, his patience beginning to wane for his final attack. 

“Is that so?” He could hear his drawl loudly mere feet from his position, McCree’s other hand a fist knowing he had only two bullets left. It was do or die, in the most literal sense of the saying. 

“Ya could bet all ya teeth on it,” He stated as he threw the grenade down at the golden man’s feet, a sudden and bright light temporarily blinded him. Adrenaline pumped through his veins as he shoved the last two bullets into their slots. Without a second of hesitation, he shot him in the chest twice, knowing one was enough to do the job, but the second one was personal.

The golden man appeared as surprised as Jesse that it had worked, his hand moving to cover the wound with wide eyes. “Well...damn…” he muttered as fell to the ground, the other mooks beginning to return fire after the moment of shock passed. McCree focused on the sound of his breath rather than the bullets behind him as he sprinted down the hallway towards the east wing, quickly shutting the door in the next room and shooting the locking system, sealing the door behind him. He figured they could find a different way out once they got Genji. 

Jesse wasn’t sure if this was the way Hanzo went, but it was his best bet. Taking a quick sigh of relief at the locked door, he quietly made his way through the next part of the facility, looking for any sign of his dragon. After a while, he heard soft footsteps, a surge of hope building in his chest. Maybe it was him. Maybe it was over. 

“Hanzo, honey? Didja find ya brother?” He asked as he walked over to the familiar small steps, only knowing Hanzo to walk so quietly. His eyes widened in surprise and slight embarrassment when he saw that in fact it was a different man though of similar stature. 

“American,” the man simply stated with a Japanese accent, quickly reaching for his side before Jesse raised up Peacekeeper. 

“Hey, not so fast,” He growled, knowing it was a bluff but he didn’t have much of a choice. He was out of bullets and anxious as hell, but after all he had went through he refused to go down like this, to let it end so suddenly. McCree bit the inside of his cheek, tapping a flashbang container on his belt, his eyes darting around the room. He was alone for now, but from how calm the other man appeared that was likely to change. “Ya wouldn’t happen to know where Hanzo went, huh? About ye tall, long black hair, severe but still pretty face?” He mouthed off, trying to think of his next move as he kept checking the doors, not wanting to be caught off guard.

The ninja’s face didn’t emote, no hint of a smile or of anger. It was emotionless, placid. “That is no longer your concern.” 

With one swift motion, Jesse threw a flashbang at his feet before bolting towards him, tumbling them both down into the ground roughly. He had spotted a large vent opening hidden behind some crates, and if he could manage to take care of him he would have enough time to enter it. The ninja was dazed from the light, his arms covering his face instinctively as they hit the floor. Taking a martial artist like this was a mistake, a few kicks and elbows landed on the cowboy causing him to yelp loudly, but he managed to hit the back of his head hard enough with Peacekeeper to shut him up.

McCree scrambled up, not bothering to hide the body as he made his way into the venting system, his mind starting to go into a panic. He had to find Hanzo, he knew should trust in him, but what if he was in trouble? He knew he could never forgive himself if he let Hanzo down, if he somehow let the love of his life slip through his fingers. Jesse was well aware it was young love, something typically short lived and frivolous, yet to him it was different. The cowboy was still a teen himself, yet he knew whatever he had with Hanzo was special. It was, to say plainly, extraordinarily new. Exciting, heartbreaking, an all encompassing love that burned through every fiber of his body. He wanted it to grow into old, boring love, he wanted the chance to get his first gray hairs with him, to tease him about his own. God, he wanted to spend his whole life with him. As he crawled through the vents with a mild struggle, he eventually got to a place he found relatively safe. He couldn’t hear any nearby noises or muffled voices so he figured it was alright to get out his phone. 

“Hanzo, come on…” he muttered quietly as he listened to the phone ring. His hands fidgeted nervously, all but too aware of his situation. He was out of bullets, out of options, and all he desperately wanted was to hear Hanzo’s voice again, to know he was okay. He held his breath when he heard someone pick up, his voice cracking as he was quick to speak. “H-hanzo? Baby are ya alright?”

The air was tense for a moment, it took McCree awhile to figure out the breathing he heard wasn’t his own. All of his worst fears boiled to the surface, a mixture of panic and anger swimming around his gut. “Who is this?” He growled lowly only to be met with more silence. “Hey, asshole I asked ya a question. Who is this? Where is Hanzo? I swear on all that’s good and mighty on this earth if you hurt him... I will make you regret the day you were born.” He fought back tears, not believing this was real, not believing that Hanzo was caught. His mind try to rationalize that everything was fine. That maybe Hanzo had found Genji but lost his phone, that they were outside trying to think of away to contact him. This wasn’t happening, couldn’t be happening. “I love that man more than myself, I don’t care if I die to make you hurt. You will.” He hung up when he heard voices around him, recognizing it as Japanese. Jesse felt nervous, putting up his phone as he crawled along knowing he had to get out soon either way, that he was held between a rock and a hard place. McCree managed to crawl out of the vent relatively quiet despite the spurs, walking out into what appeared to be a cargo bay. 

He squinted his eyes as he turned around, taken back when he saw five figures already watching him. 

“The American,” one said as blandly as the first ninja, pointing at him before they fanned out. McCree didn’t have as much time to say ‘oh fuck’, when a shot rang over his head, causing him to duck down. 

_ A sniper. _ His mind was still trying to catch up to his eyes as he watched the rest of the ninjas get gunned down before more replaced them, an all out firefight breaking loose. “Ana?” he whispered in surprise as he saw her blue jacket trailing behind her as she ran over to him, followed behind by Reyes and Morrison. “Overwatch...but...how?” He muttered to himself as he pushed himself up only to get shoved down by Gabe.

“Stay down,” Jack commented at him, shooting into the crowd as they started to move him behind cover, Reyes basically dragging him along.

“I must be dreaming, died and dreaming…” McCree said though his voice was drowned out by gunfire. He attempted to get up once again behind the cover, to demand what was going on, though he winced in pain his hand going to his side. Jesse’s eyes widened in surprise to see blood, not even sure when he had gotten shot, that this was all happening too fast and he felt far too numb.

“Shit, sit the fuck down,” Reyes said to him as he felt his legs begin to give. Jesse’s head was spinning as he tried to nod to him, focusing on his voice. “You’re going to be okay.” He saw more than heard, his world fading out quickly. “Stay awake.  _ Stay alive _ .”

  
  
  


McCree woke up panting hard, eyes wide open. “Hanzo,” he stated in a bit of a panic before noticing Reyes sitting next to him. He was in a white bed, squinting down at himself realizing he was half naked resting in the medbay. McCree wasn’t sure what base he was in, but it had to be far from Palo Duro. Far from where he was supposed to be. “Where is he, Gabe, is he okay? Is he here?” He asked eagerly trying to sit up with his gaze darting around before being ushered down. 

“Look, kid...” Jesse felt the tears running down his cheeks, his heart breaking at Reyes expression already. He didn’t need to continue, he knew. He knew it was over. “We...we can’t bust down the doors of Hanamura to go get him. I know he means a lot to you, but he’s already home. Apparently the Shimadas hired Deadlock as well, and…. Well they took him home, he’s okay.” He frowned at McCree’s expression, still in a state of denial. “Turns out it was a bigger deal than we thought. Ana and Jack helped me find you and….god. I’m sorry kid, I really am.”

“No,” Jesse shook his head not attempting to hold back his tears, letting them fall his down cheeks freely. “No, he’s  _ not _ okay! You know what they’re gonna do to him? To his brother? Fuck, Reyes we  _ have _ to go, we have to do…” he felt a sharp sob escape his throat, finding it suddenly hard to breath. “Fuck, I love him, boss. I love him so goddamn much we can’t….” he sniffled hating himself before finishing his last thought, hating how he had let down the one person he felt truly happy with. 

“I know, son.” Reyes said after a moment, reaching out tentatively to pat his shoulder. McCree cried louder at that, feeling like a small child under Gabe’s gaze. It was undignifying, down right pitiful, but he couldn't’ control it, he couldn’t control the pain. “It hurts now, it always does, but you’re...you’re young. You’ll meet someone else, when it’s the right time.”

Jesse shook his head, denying what he said, denying the truth, denying that Hanzo was really gone, out of his reach indefinitely. There was a rational piece of him that knew he could never steal him away from Japan, but that didn’t mean he didn’t want to. That he didn’t want to take all of Overwatch’s and Blackwatch’s resources to storm the castle that the love of his life was held captive in, to rip him away from his father and back into his arms. “No, I won’t. Not like him.” He said in a defeated tone, his voice hoarse. “It...it was _ real _ Reyes. I..” he shook his head trying to regain some composure. 

Gabe nodded, sitting up with a grim expression. “I know. I know it’s always going to hurt, but… but you’re strong. You’ll make it through this.” He gave his shoulder a comforting squeeze, doing his best to be sympathetic. “I...I have to go do that paperwork bullshit with Jack, but I’ll be back okay? The whole shooting up a canyon in Texas didn’t quite sit well with the local officials.” Jesse nodded weakly as Reyes offered him a somewhat awkward smile as he left the room, leaving McCree alone.

He wanted to scream, to cry. To tear the room down by it’s walls and destroy everything in his sight. He wanted to bend the world his way, to make it throw Hanzo in his direction again, to give him the ending he always knew was too lofty, that he knew was always out of reach. 

He wanted to be happy. To have Hanzo to hold again, to tell him when he was in over his head, that he was an idiot, but for Hanzo to tell him he was  _ his _ idiot. He wanted to hear his raspy laughter, to feel his calloused hands cup his cheek, to taste the faint sweetness of his lips one last time. McCree let out a quiet sob, the pain of not even being able to say goodbye too much for him to bear. 

He had fully and utterly failed. He had failed Genji, the younger Shimada most definitely already back in Hanamura against his will. He had failed Hanzo, ruined the life of the one person who meant the most to him, let him fall back into the claws of his abusers. He had failed himself, circling back into the loop of self destruction, of always being the reason he could never find true happiness, true contentment. McCree had always known he was a fuck up, but this solidified it, in his heart, in his mind, in his soul. 

Jesse laid back, staring out the window noticing the sun setting. He wondered if Hanzo was watching it rise, that somehow they still were connected, still together in this moment. McCree gave a quiet sigh, feeling nothing more than the loneliness enveloping him that he was all but too familiar with, the numbness bleeding out into his limbs.

He was here, again.

Cursed with bad luck and a broken heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so...that...happened. poor boy is heart broken but it'll make for a great reunion fic right? Anyways, I'm glad i picked up writing again because you guys really help motivate me to try to make stories and publish at a reasonable time, and honestly couldn't be happier with all the support i receive! onto the conclusion !!
> 
> if u need to reach me for any reason im on tumblr @draconicfly and twitter @draconic_fly


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so last chapter folks!! wow this has been a journey, this fic took me about a year to write and over 100k i'm honestly shook i finished it. i'm so forever grateful for all of the support it's received, and i can't begin to thank you all!
> 
> again i edit everything myself so all mistakes are my own

The sky was cloudy, dark, an endless sea of gray. Hanzo watched the rain more than listened to it, his mind too loud and yet crystal quiet, clear. He shifted a bit on the porch in front of the gardens, his arm still in a splint, newly put into a cast. He minded to try to not get it wet, to avoid getting into more trouble, but in a way he didn’t care anymore. He didn’t care about anything.

“Anija?” He heard Genji go up the steps, his hair slicked back off his face from the rain. “Anija, I’m….I’m sorry.” he said quietly tentatively taking a seat next to him. 

Hanzo didn’t turn to look at him, to face him. In a way he couldn’t. He merely sat down, taking a breath to focus on listening to the steady drum of water on the dirt and stone that the garden consisted of. In a way, the rainfall was beautiful, how it blurred the green and pinks of his surrounding world. Yet he couldn’t help but miss the sun. After a good time of silence, he cleared his throat, shutting out any emotion in his voice. 

“How is mother?” he asked Genji in a nonchalant, pleasant tone. Hanzo shifted his legs a bit closer to his chest, trying to stay put together.

Genji seemed to be taken back by his comment. “Fine,” he answered curtly, seemingly annoyed. 

Hanzo gave him a polite nod, before reaching with his good arm to the cup of tea he had brought. It had started to go cold, but he hardly noticed. Most of the food began to taste the same to him, the temperature not really making a difference. There was another period of awkward silence before Hanzo tried to strike up conversation. “Will you be there at the afternoon studies? You missed this morning so--”

“Are you serious?” Genji appeared more frustrated than before, sitting up. “Look Hanzo, I know it...it’s sucked but we can do it again. We could leave, I know it’d be hard but we could--”

Hanzo abruptly grabbed his brother’s wrist with a tight grip, squeezing harder than necessary. “No, Genji.” His voice a harsh whisper.

“Fuck, ouch, Hanzo that hurts,” Genji gave a bit of a struggle, though he looked more surprised than anything.

“Leaving was wrong, what we did...what  _ I  _ did was wrong. This is our family, our legacy, our everything. We cannot leave it, it was..” he pursed his lips, brows furrowed. “It was a mistake. I shouldn’t have taken you away.”

Genji’s eyes widened before narrowing. “A  _ mistake _ ?” He hissed, twisting his arm free. “Is...is that what it was to you? After everything we went through?” He looked close to tears, his voice heavy with emotion. “We got to see the world, we got to be  _ free. _ Did you forget?” Genji’s expression dropped with a heavy frown. “...was Jesse a mistake?” He added darkly.

Hanzo set his cup down loudly before slowly turning to finally look him in the eye. He grimaced, anger seething out of him. “Do not say that name to me!” Hanzo stood up suddenly as he grabbed Genji by the collar growling by his ear. “Never say it, don’t even  _ think _ it in my presence do you understand?” For a moment he swore he saw fear in Genji’s eyes, something deep inside him pleading for him to stop. He dropped the younger the Shimada before sitting back down, grabbing for his tea attempting to collect himself.

Genji left without a word, lifting his hood up as he traveled back into the grey mist of rain. After watching his dark figure disappear, only did Hanzo let the sob in the back of his throat come out. He dropped the cup, spilling the lukewarm remnants of tea as he placed his hand over his eyes, trying to will the tears to go away, to convince himself the moisture on his face was from the continuous rain. 

He didn’t know how to deal with this pain. Not the raw sting of blood or bruises, but the ache of loneliness that permeated into his lungs, infecting every shaky breath. Hanzo was hollow, that his heart and soul were gutted out and all he was left with was this ache, this hurt. He hated it, he wanted it to go away, he wanted McCree to be back, to hold him and kiss his sorrows away, to see his sunny smile.

But his father was right. Hanzo couldn’t change what he was as much as a sword could pretend to be a walking stick. Despite whatever he wished, a sword was made for one purpose, to kill, as much was his fate. He was a Shimada, a dragon, and he was created to take over his father’s legacy. Nothing more, nothing less.  

Love was a fairytale, a lofty story. Real life was much harsher, crueler. It wasn’t like the stories his father told him as a child, but more of what he had been shaped in, molded in as he grew into a young man. The reality was Jesse was either dead, or hated Hanzo for leaving him, and honestly he couldn’t blame him if he did. He hated himself for being too weak, for not being stronger, for not fighting harder. He had let his chance of happiness, his chance of hope slip away, and now he was back where he started.

Hanzo whimpered to himself as he curled up on the patio, whispering to the rain of how broken he was. 

“Jesse,” he murmured, his voice hoarse and cracked. Hanzo swore he could see his face when he shut his eyes, almost close enough to feel. “Jesse….”

He would let himself have this moment of weakness, to feel this pain. Perhaps he would come out of it stronger, perhaps it would be too overwhelming and lead him to ruin. Either way, he couldn’t help but miss the feeling of McCree’s breath on his ear, his soft low drawl telling him that he was good. That he was worthy.

Hanzo stayed still for a while, his joints becoming cold and stiff. He had gotten his cast wet, but whatever punishment he had instored riled no reaction from him. 

He squeezed his eyes shut, allowing a small smile as he imagined Jesse once more. Maybe he would dream of him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and that's a wrap! not really in the sense, there will be a part two that will take place in modern time overwatch with both boys at their current ages in canon. i'm really excited to start this part and try a different angle with their characterization, and am so ready to have you all enjoy it! again, i can't begin to say how grateful i am to finish this fic with all of your sweet comments and support. i am a stem major so writing has never been my biggest strong suite, but im glad that i could use this pairing to tell a somewhat original story. this was a big project for me, and i'm just thrilled that i actually finished it!! onto bigger and better things right?  
> also: whomp i know i definitely ended this fic sad, but that was a big part of the story and for their characters! all i have to say is that this is part of a series, and i definitely am a sucker for happy endings so just stay tuned and i promise it'll be worth it ;)  
> AGAIN THANK YOU, I LOVE YOU GUYS
> 
> ALSO: i fly to magfest tomorrow and idk if any of yall will be there but im doing my first cosplay as hanzo and hoo howdy im nervous but it'll be fun
> 
> if u need to reach me for any reason im on tumblr @draconicfly and twitter @draconic_fly
> 
> here's the link to the next chapter: http://archiveofourown.org/works/13346898/chapters/30557547


End file.
